Spencer was shaking. He tried to regulate it as much as he could, but his mind had lost its ability to control his body.
As he watched Morgan sitting on the edge of his girlfriend's desk, smiling and laughing, Spencer felt the urge to get up, walk over to them, and publicly announce his relationship. The rules against fraternization were the only reason he hadn't told anyone already, but those rules didn't seem to stop Morgan from fraternizing with (y/n).
Spencer always felt somewhat inferior to Morgan– he had an amazing smile, a sculpted body, and an ease that allowed him to command the attention of anyone he wanted. Now, he was just pissing Spencer off.
His anger quickly turned into worry as his eyes moved from Morgan to (y/n). Smiling up at Morgan, locking eyes with him, (y/n) tucked a lock of her (h/c) hair behind her ear as she giggled. Seeing that movement felt like being punched in the stomach to Spencer. He knew that move. He saw it for the first time when he asked (y/n) out for a coffee date. When he told her how beautiful she was for the first time, he saw that move. As they stood in her doorway, both anticipating their first kiss, Spencer saw that move. And now, now he saw it as she laughed with Morgan.
Spencer's trembling worsened. His breathing became erratic. His worry turned into near-paralyzing fear. Grabbing his messenger bag and throwing it over his head, Spencer walked up to (y/n)'s desk and blurted out, "Hey, (l/n), you ready to go? I'll, uh, I'll walk you to your car."
"Ok, Reid," she said, giving her boyfriend a secret wink. (y/n) turned back to Morgan and began to stand up, collecting her things. "It is that time, you know." She said looking at the clock, "I'll see you tomorrow, Morgan."
"See you tomorrow, baby girl." Morgan smiled as he left her desk.
Spencer heard this term a countless amount of times when Morgan and Garcia would participate in their witty banter, and it never really struck him either way before. But now, hearing it in reference to (y/n), Spencer thought it was quite the affectionate nickname. It made his panic worsen, and his sorrow grow.
He felt his stomach drop as he watched (y/n) throw her bag on her shoulder and start to walk toward the elevator. She hadn't looked at him once the entire time.
Nervously Spencer said, "Why don't you, um, come over and we'll w-watch Dr. Who." as they exited the elevator and walked toward their cars.
Smiling she said, "Ok, Dr. Reid. I'll follow you."
The 10 minute drive felt like an eternity. Spencer was terrified that he was losing her. The mere thought of it was heartbreaking. Half of him expected to pull into his apartment complex and get out of the car only to find that she wasn't behind him. When arrived, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw that she had too.
They made the short walk to his door in silence, (y/n) never looking up from her phone as Spencer watched her fingers move quickly.
"I'll, um, I'll make some coffee," Spencer said as he opened the door to his apartment shakily.
"Great!" She responded looking at him briefly and smiling. As she entered, (y/n) kicked off her shoes, and made her way to the couch.
Watching her as he made the coffee, Spencer noticed how she settled in just in time for her phone alert to go off. Spencer worried that she was texting Morgan. He tried to tell himself not to worry, that Morgan wasn't a threat to him, but he knew that was a lie.
As he walked up to the couch, Spencer sat the coffee on the table in front of it and started the show. As (y/n) watched it gleefully, she pulled her legs up onto the couch. Spencer watched her bring them to her chest and sit her elbows on her knees. As he watched her hand draw back to give her chin a resting place, he wondered why it hadn't instead reached for his hand.
"(Y/n), just say it." Spencer almost whispered.
"What?" She asked looking at him with furrowed brows.
"I saw the way Morgan was talking to you, (y/n)." Spencer blurted out. "I saw the way you looked at him. I watched you giggle and tuck your hair behind your ear. And you haven't looked at me for more than a second at a time since. You've been so into your phone, you're, you're never that interested in your phone. And I know you're not playing a game because I can hear it going off. I can hear someone texting you. It's Morgan, right? You're interested in him now? Just say it. Just, just tell me." Spencer tried to hold back the tears that flooded his deep brown eyes.
"Spencer," (y/n) said softly as she looked at her boyfriend through unbelieving eyes. "I'm– I'm not texting Morgan. It's Garcia. She's trying to plan a surprise party for JJ."
"But you want him, don't you?" the glistening streams in Spencer's eyes began to fall from them.
"No, Spencer, I don't." (Y/n) said with conviction as she brought her hands to Spencer's face, wiping away the tears that hadn't fallen from his doleful eyes.
"I saw the way you looked at him, (y/n). I saw your move. Your shy, flirty move where you tuck your hair and giggle. I saw you do it. You want him! You want Morgan! "
"Spencer," she spoke weakly, hating to see him in so much pain. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her. "I do not want Morgan." (Y/n) said sternly. Pulling back, she looked into Spencer's tearful eyes. While one arm remained around his neck, she stroked his hair with her free hand as she spoke. "You're so beautiful, Spencer. I make it a point not to look at you at work because I know a single glance will end in me staring at you. And your mind is so amazing. I could listen to you ramble on about any subject all day long and it still wouldn't be enough. Your voice is like a symphony to me. And you're so brave. You're so strong, even though you don't seem to realize it. I mean, you put your life on the line to save the people around you and you never think twice about it. You're perfect, Spencer." she said as she looked at him through teary eyes. "Literally perfect. Why would you ever think that I'd want anyone else?"
He stared at her, unsure of what she was saying. Spencer knew he wasn't perfect, and he knew he what he saw. "Your move," he whispered. "I saw your move."
"Spencer," (y/n) smiled slightly as she spoke. "I honestly couldn't tell you what Morgan was saying to me."
His brows furrowed as she continued.
"He mentioned going to see Star Wars this weekend, and it reminded of that night the team stayed in Arizona, and I snuck into your room. Do you remember that, Mr. Eidetic memory?" She smiled.
"We, uh, we watched the Phantom Menace. You said that, um," he smiled slightly as he sniffled, "you said that it was a good thing we both enjoyed this movie because it's the only channel the hotel got."
"Exactly." (Y/n) smiled, wiping the remnant of his tears away. "And then you told me you loved me for the first time." She giggled as she reminisced, her right hand finding its way to hair as she tucked it behind her ear.
There it was. Her move. Her giggle hair tuck. Joy washed over Spencer and he couldn't control his smile as he watched his girlfriend subconsciously do her move, remembering an evening they shared.
He leaned into her and kissed her devotedly.
"I'm sorry I got so upset," Spencer said as he held her close to him. "I was just so afraid of losing you."
"You'll never lose me, Dr. Reid." (Y/n) said, holding onto to him tightly. "Never."
