Erm... I have no idea, but I REALLY wanted to do these cracky DRRR!! drabbles for awhile now. So I finally did. Instead of doing my homework and Melt Chapter 3. Aren't I awesome?!
Oh, and there might be a Hatsune MikuxIzaya drabble soon. Blame it on the cracky Japanese fanart, okay? Yandere Miku and Izaya together would rule anyway!
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!! Even if I did, there'd be more useless crack in it then awesomeness.
Pure crack 1
Shizuo finally gets back at Izaya.
Shizuo randomly asked Celty for a favor one day.
"Celty, can I borrow your scythe? I keep on smelling rotten eggs." Shizuo was extremely calm saying this that it freaked Celty out.
Celty, being Celty, replied with an honest answer.
【Why would you want to cut "rotten eggs" with my scythe, Shizuo? 】
"No reason. It just sounds like fun. I get tired of swinging around stop signs, vending machines, and garbage cans."
Shocked, Celty started to type faster than normal.
【Well… I guess so, Shizuo. Just make sure you don't end up killing anybody with it. 】
Bringing out her scythe, Celty hesitated before giving it to Shizuo. Did she really want Izaya passed out on the street anyway? … Nevermind, Celty already hated Izaya.
"Thank you, Celty!" Walking off with scythe in his hand, Shizuo was humming to himself.
Okay, now Celty was extremely freaked out. Later on, Celty was proven wrong.
Shizuo ended up destroying the world with his rage. The end.
These two should never, ever, ever, ever meet.
Izaya liked Ikebuorko, however he likes Shibuya too. Simply because he could get lost in the crowd, and find teenager girls he could insult. 'You have too small of boobs!', 'Your really ugly with thick glasses like that.~', 'Are you male or female?'
"Ahhh!~ It's days like this that I love humans!" Skipping along the sidewalk, getting a few looks from people.
"Hee. Looks like you're enjoying Shibuya, Orihara Izaya." Said a voice that made Izaya put on his trolling smile.
"Yes, because all the humans here are so interesting.~" Izaya came closer to the boy, invading his personal space. "How come you know my name, little boy?~"
"Oh, I have my ways around Shibuya. Like looking up everyones name!" The boy was now grinning in glee.
"Wow, that's something that I thought only I did!~" Izaya started to dance around randomly. "Joshua, correct?~"
"You won't get away by trolling me, Izaya-Nyan." Joshua giggled, making Izaya stop dancing.
"Oh, really?~ I think that I can." Secretly taking out his pocketknife, Izaya was ready to cut the kid's blond hair all off.
"You won't cut all my hair off now with that pocketknife of yours now, will you Izaya-Nyan?" Giggling again, Joshua took out a gun that he had hidden in this pants pocket.
"Don't you think of shooting me with that gun, Joshua-Pon.~" Izaya teased.
"Well, I admit defeat, Izaya-Nyan. You got the best of me there." Joshua sighed, gun in his hand.
"I admit defeat too, Joshua-Pon.~" Izaya suddenly got this grin on his face. "How about we both partner up, and try to make humans weep for mercy under us?"
Pausing for a bit, Joshua nodded in agreement. "I think we should too, Izaya-Nyan. First we need to get rid of that 'Shizuo' that keeps on throwing vending machines at you."
"I can always make him my server. He's so easy to tick off after all.~" Izaya held out his hand, allowing Joshua to shake it. Which he did, hesitating to see if Izaya was holding his pocketknife or something else.
This is the time where we all run away, somewhere safe where Izaya and Joshua will never find us.
By the way, in case you haven't made the connection yet, Izaya and Joshua from The World Ends With You are almost twins. In a sense. It's kinda funny.
