DISCLAIMER: All of the characters in this fic are not mine. They are the property of BIOWARE. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)

Author's Note: Warning! Includes one Original Character and Liara T'Soni Being In Love With Female Shepard ahead! If this offends you press the back button now!

I've been working on this one for so long I don't even remember what prompted this. I do know that it wasn't kink meme for once.

Non Compos Mentis, Twice

by SpaceRanger

"Ah-Baaaahhhhhh!"

Giggle

"Ah-BahDahDah!"

GIGGLE!

"That's a good girl. Now Shhhh!"

After a most trying day, the childish sounds of her bondmate and their four month old's laughter was a pleasant sound for the Shadow Broker to return home to. Eager to be distracted from her thoughts, Liara wondered through out the house searching for the now silent two, pausing only once to glance at the security monitor for their location.

Upon reaching the indicated location, the asari furrowed her brow in confusion as neither were there. Closing her eyes, Liara gathered her senses, trying to find her bondmate's 'mark.'

A Snarl than a Smug Smirk.

"You're not the only one who can play this information game, Pureblood. Yeah that's right, I know exactly what you are. You're a useless pureblood bitch who's pathetic enough to build your own bondmate. And oh what's this? Tsk tsk, that old mechanical bitch is already tired of you. You must be so offensively lousy that you can't even keep a sex toy loyal to you. Don't worry, Pureblood, once you're dead, I'll be sure to show that thing what a real asari can do before I dismantle it piece by piece."

Her pheromones were almost gone. Liara shook her head driving the taunt out of her mind as she followed the scent, but the little seed of Doubt had been planted. She couldn't help but think that lately Shepard's been aloof and distracted. Eyes unreadable and running into things and not because of Liara.

A well known whispered description for Commander Shepard by the Normandy SR1 and SR2 ground team was "Liara's Dirty Old Man," "The Liarasexual," and Jack's favorite "Blue's horny bitch." This was due to Shepard's tendency to blatantly stop mid-whatever for absolutely no reason then to ogle Liara with complete disregard of those around the commander, even the dancers around Chora's Den.

Liara could still remember seeing Shepard nearly drooling and openly giving her a lustful "once and over" more than once when she left her hiding place to confront Vasir. And despite the dangers around them, she remembered seeing Shepard's eyes drop to her breasts on Mars. She also remembered hearing the smack on the head and the exasperated whisper of "Stop leering at her ass, Shepard!" from Ashley in the middle of the firefight between the two trams.

Rounding a corner she finally located the pair in the enclosed by reinforced glass and Kinetic Barriers porch area. On some clear nights - like now - Shepard would relax in the area with the lights off so she could stare up at the stars in a meditative trance, emptying out all thoughts.

This night however, the lights were on and laying on a pillow with her belly is the tiny form of four month old Corlia Shepard-T'Soni dressed in a N7 themed hoodie onesie without the actual N7 logo. The pillow was thick enough that the little asari, without straining her neck, could have a glaring contest with her sire, the latter of which is also lounging on her belly but dressed in her usual N7 sweatshirt-cargos casual clothes and colorful gloves used to entertain the baby.

It still amused Liara that Shepard had managed to pick out a good name for Corlia, but have yet to find a first name for herself. Having never been arrested or even noticed by anyone outside the Reds, filling out any of the naming columns for the Alliance had confused her. The human had only ever been known by one name, a name she earned as a Red: Shepard. It was the First name she received and the Last name she'll ever get from the Reds. Thus, all of her forms were filled out with

First Name: Shepard

Last Name: Shepard

And no one realized this or even knew this needed to be explained at all until time came for the two to sign the documents legalizing their bond.

(A lot of faces were introduced/re-introduced to their palms that day)

Liara made sure to make it clear that naming their child early would be most preferred.

Shepard didn't break her gaze away from the baby but slowly raised one of her hands to wave at Liara in acknowledgement. Corlia's eyes, a mirror of Shepard's own, followed the motion which had Shepard crowing in gleeful triumph.

"Ha! I win! Go pout! Shepard 5, Corlia 2! Dah Dah De Dah De Dah!" Liara laughed softly as she watched Shepard wiggle her fingers at the baby.

"Seems more like you cheated, Shepard." Shepard paused in her wiggling to looked up at her with a smile that never reaches her eyes anymore.

"And then there's your other freak of nature. I hear that homemade sex bot of yours hasn't even claimed it as its own. No doubt wants nothing to do with it."

For good or for ill, Liara inherited Benezia's ability to read eyes - given enough time - and ever since the pregnancy, Shepard's eyes took on an expressionless look that made it hard to tell what she was thinking. This combined with the fact that the human still refuse to seriously consider what she wanted their child to address Shepard as, saying that she didn't really care what Corlia called her, deepened Liara's doubt. Shepard frowned.

"Did something go wrong at the meeting?" Liara shook her head before she leaned down and picked up Corlia.

"No, no, it's nothing." Shepard gazed at her a little longer and shrugged. Liara knew though it would only be a matter of time before the topic is brought up again.

"Well you're just in time, Love." Shepard rearranged herself and stood. "Wait here."

The human had just left the room for a second before an interesting noise of protest sounded. Shepard quickly poked her head back in asking worriedly,

"Liara? You okay?" Liara looks up from the baby to Shepard in awe.

"That wasn't me… I… I think she just said her first word." The doctor could almost feel Shepard's own excitement as she stared with wide eyes at the baby.

"Really? What did she say?" Liara looked back down at the frowning baby in amazement.

"Da… she said Da." As if to confirm Liara's words Corlia reached outwards with one of her hands towards her sire and in grumpy baby talk, demanded,

"Dah!" Shepard's eyes widened.

"She's got a name for me!" Liara's fears of Shepard regretting having the child is fully erased by the cheer, the beaming grin on the human's face, and the feel of happiness being projected. Corlia waved her arm and impatiently demanded once more,

"Dah!"

Shepard swiftly returned to the room but when she got within the baby's hand reach, Corlia reached out and slammed her fist into her sire's eye. Shepard yelped and reflexively stepped back while holding her eye. Brow shot up in surprise, Liara quickly covered the baby's fists with her own.

"Corlia! No!" Shepard waved her free hand dismissively with a laugh then tapped the still frowning Corlia's nose with it.

"Nice punch Corlia! Might make a Marine outta you after all. Ack, I think you jarred my contact."

"Jar-" Before Liara could stop her, Shepard curled her fingers and pinched her eye. Horrified, the older asari used the hand that covered Corlia's fists to pull the human's wrist away from her face. The baby took that chance to try to physically hit her sire's other eye. "Shepard! What are you-"

Liara's breath caught and she found herself unable to continue her train of thought upon seeing Shepard's eyes. One was colored with indifference and the other - the one Shepard pinched - was colored with the familiar emotions of love and amusement that actually matches the grin on her face.

"How-What…" Shepard tilted her head while moving the hand caught in Liara's grasp and the older asari turned her focus to it. Between the human's thumb and index finger is a tiny circular colored… something the same color as Shepard's eye.

"Colored contacts. Usually used to change your eye colors and help you see better." Liara frowned, worriedly trying to see the damage and wondering how she missed this information. Her mind flashed back to the beginning of her pregnancy when she first noticed Shepard running into things, which was right after the theft on Olor.

"How did this happen? Was it that mission on Olor?"

It's a well known fact by all of the Normandy ground team that Shepard is a Incorrigible Kleptomaniac. Fortunately or unfortunately, the human is very good at it, so much so that even she doesn't notice things going missing around her. It was one of the reasons that Shepard had never been arrested for thieving while growing up. It was also the reason that certain missions with a high chance of containing unknown valuables were assigned to the human by her boss/bondmate.

The other reason is to prevent Shepard's condition from manifesting itself in having various items of the Shepard-T'Soni household disappearing one day and reappearing elsewhere the next. Despite the overwhelmingly good blackmail material that turned the Dalatrass (and any future Dalatrass) into one of her (un)willing informants, she's still trying to scrub the incident involving that from her mind.

From their mends Liara knew Shepard honestly had no idea what happened or even knew about the incident but the asari still Couch-ed the human for almost a week for that.

It was the principle of the thing.

Thankfully, it normally only happened when Shepard hasn't fulfilled her Kleptomania quota for the month.

"Na-Ya-Kinda? 'is… na 'cause miss… jus…" To Liara's surprise, Shepard blushed and looked away so that the non-expressive eye was facing the two asari as the human ruffled the hair on the back of her head. In the years she's known Shepard (and many crew pranks - no one has yet to win the make Shepard blush betting pool before it got disbanded), her bondmate had shown that nothing could make the human blush - uncomfortable to the point of "I should go," yes, but blush…

Liara's mind reached out and hovered tentatively close to Shepard's. This was one of the many times that made her glad for this ability. It would've made it really difficult for the asari to understand the human without it. This time she used it to calm Shepard, knowing well that the regression of speech only happened if Shepard was drunk or nervous. The human visibility relaxed and dropped the arm on her head back to her side.

"I was trying to make it hard for me to see." Liara blinked, confused.

"Why?" Shepard turned her head back around to face her and erased the rest of the doubt left by the day's taunts.

Liara is once again out of breath, feeling her heart race and her stomach clench. Shepard's eye was dilated in pure possessive lust that screamed 'I want you. Now.'. Despite not being a meld, Liara could practically taste and feel everything her bondmate wanted to do to her and within nano-seconds her own body submitted to the call as her sensitivity heightened eagerly to meet that hunger.

Somehow the universe conspired in such a way that Liara may 'control' Shepard as her 'tamed varren' with relative ease - the human happily going out of her way to meet the doctor's requests and even bragging about it much to Liara's embarrassment - but in the bedroom, Liara's body is Shepard's to 'control'. It never takes much for the human to be able to turn Liara into a helpless, writhing, moaning, endlessly orgasming wreck. This time, the combination of Shepard's ability and having not felt her lover's touch since her pregnancy, caused her to lose control of even her own thoughts.

Goddess… yes… it's been too long. Shepard blinked, shook her head, and closed her eyes.

"Not. Helping. Love." Shepard's voice had lowered and Liara could hear the human's struggle with arousal that sent sharp pangs of desire to the asari's lower reaches. "May. Want to. Let go."

"Let-" Realizing she had tightened her grip on her bondmate's wrist, Liara quickly pulls her mind away and removes her hand taking Corlia's still flailing fists in the process.

"I. Should go. Now." Shepard turned a quick about-face, stiffly fleeing the room and then their home. Liara herself was frozen, torn between her duties as a mother and her body's craving for her bondmate.

"So you gonna go after her or just stand there like a Goddess be damned Pyjak."


Though she had reservations about leaving Corlia with Aethyta, she didn't exactly have a choice. Her crazy father played dirty and was Goddess be damned fast about it. Before Liara could register something was even happening at all, Aethyta had snagged her granddaughter from Liara's grasp, dropped a load of credits in her hand, and kicked her out of her own home with a "Don't come back until you've gotten laid dammit!"

Liara made several efforts to get back in but she couldn't manage it. She finally gave up and left to find her bondmate, hoping Aethyta wouldn't try to teach Corlia how to headbutt or scar the baby for life.

She laughed softly at herself in amusement. Now that she had time to think clearer, she realized she'd been relying on her eye reading ability too much. She remembered an offhand conversation with Jack who randomly burst into her office one day and bluntly stated,

"Blue, you need to fuck your horny bitch more often. I don't know how you can't feel that pent up horniness that damn Girl Scout fails at repressing. Fuck, I feel dirty every time I see her look at you."

Liara shook her head, a little exasperated at herself for being so clueless.

Thankfully, it didn't take very long to find her bondmate, Shepard's voice along with the outside lights at their garden shed an easy beacon, and despite the years, Liara still bites her lip and blushes at the excellent view of Shepard's ass from the doctor's angle of approach.

"Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit." Shepard panted, clinching and un-clinching her fists, crawling with her toes and still gloved fingers as the human felt around the ground, searching for something.

"ARGHHH! Where the fuck is that gorram garden hose?" Liara grinned, seeing the end of the hose at the workbench against the storage house. In a similar playful tone not unlike how Shepard had teased Ashley about the latter's 'empty bottle' during the Reaper War, the doctor responded,

"You mean this… garden hose~?" Shepard yelped, tripping over her own feet and landing on her butt when she spun around, wide eyes and looking to escape.

"Liara? What are you- Where's Corlia?"

"My father stole her and locked us out of the main house." Shepard blinked at her and grinned, amused as she pulled off her gloves, tossing them on top of the aforementioned workbench.

"Wait, you got outsmarted by your dad?" Liara scowled though herself also amused.

"She plays dirty." Shepard laughed.

"And a thousand years from now you'll be doing the same for Corlia. "

"I suppose you're right." Liara reached out her hand and Shepard smiled as she took it, allowing herself to be pulled back to her feet. Once more, it was as if they were back on the first Normandy, back to that almost first kiss at Shepard's locker.

"You need to step back, Love." Shepard's eye was still simmering with restrained arousal that can be heard in the gruffness of the human's voice and it was obvious that the human was forcing herself to stay frozen. Liara blushed once more but could hear her own voice turn breathy as she responded,

"And if I don't?" The smoldering fire flared into pure possessive lust from earlier, burning the asari, and she nearly moaned.

"Step. Back." Liara could feel the throb of pleasure from the command and the way her own body respond without her input. The step back placed the couple far enough away that they could still keep their hands clasped together but it also made it easy for the asari's own eyes to fall to her bondmate's chest, made obvious by the quick expanding and contracting as Shepard tried to calm her libido. Finally, Shepard complains half-heartedly,

"Dammit, Love! Do you know how hard it is it quit you Cold Turkey?" Despite her confusion, Liara isn't curious enough to take her eyes off her bondmate's chest.

"Cold Turkey?"

"Another way of saying that I gave up something quite suddenly. And dammit it was hard to give up molesting you at every hour." Liara raised her eyes to Shepard's face along with what the humans call her 'eyebrow facial marking,' remembering quite clearly that Shepard didn't feel her up at every hour. The two have had days gone by where the couple weren't anywhere close to each other.

"You don't -" Shepard's lust filled eye locks on to hers and Liara found herself experiencing a loss of breath, now remembering that aside from the couple, Ashley wasn't the only one to demand for Shepard to stop molesting Liara with her eyes at the most random moments.

"Oh..." Shepard closed her eyes, threw her head back, and laughed for a bit before looking back at her. This time the eye held amusement that dampened a bit of the human's lust.

"Well, I suppose it was inevitable. I did ruin 50 years worth research. It's only fair that you ruin my year and a half worth of trying not to scar kids - particularly ours - for life whenever I feel the urge to go all primal on you." Liara smiles in equal amusement.

"You know very well that human rules regarding the discussion of sex doesn't really apply here. It wouldn't be the end of the universe for a second time if she or they catch us. It'll just be embarrassing." Shepard quirked her own eyebrow.

"This from the one who tries to shut me up whenever I try to brag about being your personal go-fer slave?" Liara blushed and Shepard smirked before continuing,

"It's the principle of the thing, Love. Doing the right thing even when no one's looking you know. Besides, I don't want her to blame me for being traumatized."

"Judging by the punch she gave you, I don't think Corlia likes your solution. And…" Liara looked away, remembering the empty feeling and uncertainty. "…Neither do I." Shepard frowned and used her free had to cup Liara's cheek.

"I'm sorry, Love." Liara turns pleading eyes toward Shepard, feeling ridiculous when her eyes started to tear up, but she was at least able to prevent them from falling.

"Please don't wear them around us anymore. I can't…" Shepard pulled her into a hug.

"I won't I promise." Shepard started to move to break their embrace but Liara wouldn't let her.

"No-not yet."

"Okay." Wrapped up in the comfort of her bondmate's embrace, Liara knew not how long they stood like that but after a while Liara sighed contently,

"I missed this." Shepard made a sound of agreement.

"Mmm… Sorry, Love. Most of the time my hugs turn into-" Shepard's hand fell and took one of Liara's ass cheeks in each hand, kneading the flesh in the way that set Liara's lust back into flames. "-groping. Then, into explicit material sessions. Didn't want to chance it. Bad Parenting and all."

Liara takes one of Shepard's hand away from her butt to drag the human in the direction of a hideaway safe house that had been completed a month before for the Shepard-T'Soni "just in case" use and keyed to their DNA. She had never been more glad that the location she chose is not far from where Shepard had built the Garden Shed.

"Hmmm… You just be yourself and not worry so much about being a bad parent, Shepard. Besides, I wouldn't mind. And if you don't, I will. We need to remedy the fact that you're loosing the mark." Shepard groaned with desire and it took the human a bit to formulate the words. Liara's breath hitched when Shepard's caress ventured so very close to the area where she was most sensitive and pulled them along faster, propelling them with her biotics.

"Tease. You're suppose to be the good one, Love. The one that's not encouraging my perverted ways. You know I'm a Grade A Super Pervert even with restraints. Do you really want to test me when I have none."

"Actually, you have been a Grade F recently. In fact, I highly recommend that you attend multiple cram sessions to get that A back." Shepard chuckled throatily at the word "cram." It took a lot of will power for Liara to not rub her scent all over her bondmate just yet despite them finally arriving at her intended location.

"Oh you do, do you~?" Liara pretended to think, making a mock thoughtful hum as she let go of her bondmate then keyed in the pass at the door.

"Hmm… Yes… I am willing to.. sacrifice… this cabin for your endless quest of making it known I'm yours. We can start here." Shepard wrapped her arms around Liara's waist from behind and exploited her knowledge of the asari's erogenous zone by seductively murmuring against the side of the doctor's neck,

"Mmm… it's more of an endless quest of satisfying you, Love. You wouldn't let me show off the hickeys you've attempted to tattoo on my body. So I have to settle for walking around with your mark on me."

The door slide open just as Liara flared her biotics. She used that power to pull the human around and throw her against the linoleum floor. Then, she followed the flying body in and proceeded to ravage Shepard thoroughly just as the door slide shut behind them.

Shepard happily gave the same (arguably more) thorough treatment in return.


When they returned home the next day, it was to the sight of Aethyta teaching a giggling Corlia the fine art of bartending and the fine art of sweet talking Liara into embracing eternity with Shepard more often because dammit she needs grandchildren - as in plural - to spoil.

Shepard was amused, Liara was not.

As for Corlia? The baby asari was just happy that her two big people are happy.


A/N1: Urgh… After so many days of wrestling with that word, I'm of the opinion that the word "happy" simply has no equal. Delighted seems like a much milder form and feels like a word that should be used in some formal pompous setting, Estatic is just too overboard, Overjoyed… just… no. Someone need to invent a word that is equal to happy so I can stop squirming when I reuse that single word six times in one sentence.

A/N2: Also, trying a slightly newer (for me) writing style where several references/descriptive explanation of several pieces of the past is spread throughout a story, like I did with Shepard's name. Let me know if this works fine or if it breaks you out of being immersed in the story.

A/N3: And in case anyone's interested, Corlia is suppose to be an asari name. I used a twist to the name Corlissa - "Cheerful; joy." Liara-muse and Earthborn!FemShepard-muse wanted a name that's both asari and human.

A/N4: Sorry, had to move story out of the original "Non Compos Mentis." Was told that this read more like a standalone then part of the actual "Non Compos Mentis" storyline.