A/N:
Description
Harry is in his 6th year, all events till now are canon compliant, except that, in addition to Sirius's death in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry has lost Hermione as well. This double loss, along with the emphasis on Voldemort's big return, has weighed Harry down. It is then that he meets Alexa McGonagall, who has secrets she's decided it's time to share.
Disclaimer
All the characters and the magical world belong to JK Rowling, except Alexa and her father, and any new original characters I may choose to add later. I do not intend to make money from this, only have fun writing.
Chapter One
There was an eerie silence at Platform nine and three quarters that September the first. The glances, and quite often, pointed stares, in Harry's direction had always been there, but this intensity had not. It was not without reason; after all, word about what happened at the Department of Mysteries had gotten out, and Harry was no longer being regarded as The Boy Who Lied, rather, he was worshipped again as The Boy Who Lived.
Besides, some of that intensity was also the fear nobody really wanted to acknowledge. Children held on a little tighter to their parents' hands, and the parents seemed a little more unwilling to let go. Voldemort was back.
Harry said goodbye to Mr and Mrs Weasley as he, Ron and Ginny boarded the train. He and Ron got into an empty compartment while Ginny, after a moment of hesitation, moved on ahead.
Harry looked at the parchment his fingers were still gripping tightly, and he reread the words he'd been rereading the past month.
Harry, Harry, Harry
If I know you at all, you're wracked with guilt right now. It pains you to see me like this, and it will hurt even more when I'm gone. I'm so sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry I have to go.
Harry I've known you for five years now, and you're my best and one of the oldest friends I've had. You've been there through everything and Harry honestly I'm glad for that.
Knowing you has been the greatest adventure of my life. From fighting trolls to fighting death, we've come such a long way, and you still have miles more to go. I know none of this is easy, and things are only waiting to get harder. I wish I could hold you and comfort you and just let you let it all out about how terrible everything is after Sirius...Harry. Harry, my brave, brave friend. It's okay not to be brave all the time.
Harry, be careful, please. Voldemort is back and it will not be long before he tries to hunt you down again. Trust Dumbledore, he knows what he's doing. Let him teach you as many spells as you need to learn. Keep your friends close, Harry. In the difficult times that lie ahead, it will not be easy for everybody to stand by you. Forgive them for that, Harry, because it is not always their fault. Let Voldemort be the only enemy.
Take care of Ron for me, will you? My parents said they would let me date when I was sixteen. I should have asked Ron out last September. This September is so far away and when it comes, I'll be so far away, won't I? I hope he'll be happy, Harry, and I hope you will be too, when all of this is over. When all the wars have been waged, and there is peace at last, I will still be there for you, for both of you, in your hearts.
Harry, I'll always be watching over you, shaking my head at your recklessness, beaming with pride at your bravery and love, and I wish I could go on with you on every arduous journey you must undertake. But my part is over.
I may have been the brightest witch of my age, but Harry, you're hands down the smartest person I've ever known, a great person to share a conversation with, a fierce friend, and an absolute gem of a person as a whole and, oh Harry, I love you so very much. I miss you already.
Goodbye Harry
Love always
Hermione
PS in case I can't say it tomorrow, Happy Birthday!
Harry folded the parchment.
During the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, when Harry had to keep fighting even though Sirius was dead and all he wanted was to sit and let the feeling of loss wash over him, Hermione got struck by a spell meant to kill her slowly, weakening her over time.
Hermione was in St Mungo's till the day of his sixteenth birthday. And then she died.
But before she left, she wrote letters for everyone she'd loved, giving them a night before she died. This was the letter Harry had been rereading. He knew Ron, so in love with Hermione still, slept with her letter under his pillow every night.
Harry looked up at Ron, who was staring out of the window with a stricken expression.
"Ron?"
"It's quiet, isn't it?"
Harry knew what he meant. Harry knew that in spite of the noise of the train chugging along, there was a silence in the air, the silence of no Hermione and Ron bickering, the silence of the absence of their laughter. This silence wasn't restricted to their compartment alone. All over the train, stillness had settled, and so had sombre faces.
"Is it alright if we join you?"
Harry looked up to see Ginny with Neville by her side, and nodded. Neville looked stronger, as though he'd been working out over the summer, and his chin had a determined set to it. He looked every bit the boy whose parents had been tortured for their bravery, and he looked every bit the son who was going to make his parents proud. He offered Harry the smallest smile, and then leaned in to give him the warmest hug.
As he sat beside Harry, and Ginny took a seat beside Ron, Harry caught Ginny's eye and quickly looked away. He pretended to read Hermione 's letter, but his thoughts took him back to his birthday.
Hermione had finally breathed her last, and as she lay there, Harry found himself walking away slowly. He couldn't bear to see her like that anymore.
"I'm going home," he said, to nobody in particular.
"Harry, wait," Ginny called out, but Harry was out of the room, and was on his way to Floo himself to the Burrow.
Ginny raced out and caught him at the fireplace.
"Harry Potter!"
Harry cringed as everybody in the corridor turned to look at him. Ginny grabbed his hand as she announced, "I'm coming with you."
Harry had no choice. They Flooed home and when they reached, neither knew what to say.
"Harry," Ginny began tentatively.
"I'm going to bed."
Ginny bit her lip and nodded slowly. As his head hit the cool pillow and he felt his eyes close, he felt her warm hands gently run through his messy hair, ruffling it ever so slightly. His eyelids were getting heavier…
When his eyes opened, it all came back to him in a rush, and the tears gushed out of his eyes faster than the memories could come to him.
He just sat in bed for a while, until he heard a knock. It was Ginny.
She slowly made her way to Harry, with a small birthday cake.
"She… She wanted you to have a cake for your birthday."
Harry didn't feel like eating. He looked at the single candle and then looked again at Ginny.
"If my birthday wish was to have them all back, would it come true?"
"Harry…"
He took a bite of cake, then swallowed.
"Did she tell you to make it sugar free or did you just forget?"
"She told me. She said... sugar would be bad for your teeth."
He bit back a smile, simply shaking his head.
"We wanted to give you presents, we've kept them in the kitchen so you can take them when you're ready. Mum told me to tell you she made treacle tart. And um, the Grangers left a while back, they had to, er, discuss some things about the … funeral."
She paused then said, "I'll… go then."
Harry nodded. The word "funeral" was stuck in his head now.
"I'll be taking a shower."
And he went into the bathroom, fully clothed, and turned on the tap and stood under the gushing water and let his own tears spill out.
The fatigue of the last few months caught up with him and the pain and loss made him fall to the floor in wracking sobs. The knocks on the door sounded as though from a distant universe, and he did not care when the door opened slightly.
"Harry I thought I heard you fall, is everyth- HARRY!"
Ginny dropped to the floor and took Harry in her arms. She didn't know what to say, so she held him tight as her own tears fell, rubbing his back and stroking his hair.
And then she kissed him on the forehead, looking deep into his eyes,looking as though she was willing her eyes to tell his that it would get better, that she was there with him, that she was there for him.
And then her eyes dropped to his lips, and he saw that, and she opened her mouth slightly in embarrassment, when he captured her lips roughly. His kisses were insistent, passionate, and she was kissing him back, and he had slowly moved to her neck when they heard Mrs Weasley calling out Ginny's name. They stopped rather abruptly.
They looked at each other, Harry looking slightly bewildered, while Ginny tried to regain her composure. She turned off the tap, performed a quick Drying Charm on both of them and took Harry's hand as they emerged from the bathroom.
"Wrackspurt got you, Harry?"
It had to be Luna. Sure enough, he saw the familiar dirty blonde hair, and those eyes that had that faraway look.
"Hello, Luna. Er, yeah, I think it was Wrackspurts, yeah."
"Thought so," she replied, taking a seat next to Ginny. The compartment was beginning to feel a bit cramped.
"Harry could I speak with you for a bit outside, please?" Ginny asked Harry.
He nodded, getting to his feet. They walked in silence, until, miraculously, they found an empty compartment.
They sat down on opposite ends and looked at their hands. Then Ginny took a deep breath and asked, "What are we doing, Harry?"
Harry looked up at her. What exactly had they been doing? Over the summer, they'd grown close, and there'd been a lot of snogging after his birthday, but they'd never talked about it. That hadn't stopped him from thinking about it, and lately he had asked himself how he felt about it and he had no idea how to tell her.
"Ginny. You are… the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and you're funny, and you're charming and you're witty, and - Ginny, are you crying?"
"No," she said, wiping her tears. "It's just… I've wanted this for so long, I've been obsessed with you since I've known you exist, I've gotten to know you better over the years and I've wanted to snog you so much and now we snog but it… doesn't seem right?"
There was a pause.
"And you've just lost Sirius and Hermione, and everyone's leaving and here I am, can't even be happy after kissing Harry Potter and-"
"I feel the same way."
Ginny blinked.
"And it's maddening, because I can't stop thinking about you and it's not just friendship, it's so much more than that but kissing you feels so wrong and I don't know what I want and did I tell you I can't stop thinking about you?"
"Neither can I," Ginny said, holding back a smile.
There was another pause, longer than the first, with both of them smiling at each other, slightly confused, but relieved nonetheless at finally getting things off their chest.
"So, we're alright then? We're friends who can't stop thinking about each other? Do we leave it at that?"
"That sounds about right, yeah," laughed Harry, and as they rose to return to their friends, someone stopped outside their compartment.
"Alexa, hi!" said Ginny.
A/N:
That was my first fanfiction, everyone! Hope you enjoyed! I don't know when I'll be able to update since my finals are approaching, but I promise I won't abandon this fic. Please read and review, would love to know what you liked and what I should change, constructive criticism always welcome. Love always ?
