Where Did I Go Wrong?

Seth/Dean Dean/Roman

Rating: T (language)

Summary: Dean was still having trouble getting over his heartbreak that Seth left. Roman was trying his best to help Dean, letting him write and tell him why it's hard. Hopefully the story is better.. First one in a year or so.

Dean sat alone in his and Roman's house, he was in the corner of the room, just like every time these thoughts came up. "4 fucking years, I gave to him, then he turned around and backstabbed me. I'm such a loser, I don't deserve love." he said over and over, yelling by the time Roman came into the room. "Dean, stop!" Roman tried to get Dean out of the corner and started to hug him. Dean on the other hand, didn't want that, and tried to fight Roman. "Relax, hey, I got you. I'm not leaving you, look at me please." Through tears Dean looked up at Roman and saw the unshed tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I am a fuck up, that I made you feel sorry for me, where did I go wrong? Where did I go wrong Roman, why does this keep happening to me?"

Roman tried to calm him down by just holding him, and letting him get it all out. It's been a year since the breakup of Seth and Dean. Seth didn't care, and played Dean. Roman was so mad, no mad wasn't enough, he wanted to hurt Seth. After an hour or so Dean relaxed in Roman's arms. Roman's relationship with Dean was like none other, he promised Dean that he would never betray him and it's working out just fine. Well until Dean has these moments where it breaks Roman's heart into. Not that Dean is still hanging onto Seth, but just listening to him cry his heart out over someone who doesn't give a damn about him.

"Hey, baby boy, I have an idea. How about I'm Seth, and you can tell me what you want to say, or write a letter." Dean thought about that for a second and a smile came to his face. "Thanks, Ro, that may help, but please don't leave me after this." Roman sighed, Dean had his fear about abandonment, and he understood, but it's just Roman wanted to help his boy. "I won't leave you baby, I could never do that." Dean kissed him on the cheek, and went to the bathroom to try to dry his face up.

15 minutes later, Dean was back to his normal self. Roman was still on the bed waiting to listen to what Dean wanted to say. "Don't say you never cared about me, because I still have the gifts you gave me from Valentine's Day in my room. I still sleep with the teddy bear that says 'I Love You' everyday." Dean screamed to Roman, pretending it was Seth. The flashback took over, it was the last Valentines day they spent together. Seth had bought him a teddy bear, it was a white one with a rose connected to it. Dean loved it, and every night he was without Seth, the bear took his place. "Ahh, so that's where Mr. Pouty comes in at. Dean it's okay to have the bear, to sleep and cuddle it, I'm not going to tell you to get rid of it. Seth was a huge part of your life. I'm sorry baby boy." Roman glanced over to Dean who was still in the mad mood, and he knew it wasn't over.

"I know I made you feel things you didn't want to feel. Things you wanted to run away from, feelings, because they scared you. Because you were afraid of were afraid of loving me. A screw up, an outsider, you didn't want to be tied down to someone like me. Why did you stay for so long, why didn't you just leave when you got your fill. That's what you did 4 years later. Do you know how many scars I have? How many nights I cried, wanted to have you hold me? Fuck you Seth! I'm tired of living in the shadows of you and what we were. To Hell with you!" After he spat those words out, he felt better, but still hurt. Roman had saved him from going off the deep end, from throwing himself to others to make the pain stop. He once threw himself at a leader of a cult, but Roman rescued him.

"I love you, Ro." Dean whispered to Roman as he laid his head down on Roman's chest. Roman had his arms around Dean, he knew that his boy had fallen into slumber. That night was hard on both of them. Roman too, wondered where he went wrong in all of this, but all that mattered right now was the man sleeping on his chest. "I love you too, my baby lunatic." he replied back, with a kiss to Dean's head, before he too went to sleep.