My Glock 17 clicked loudly, it's clip was empty, and it was pointing at a man, shot dead by three of it's 9x19mm Parabellum rounds. To my right, a woman was laying on the ground, dead, shot in the head. Walking into the kitchen, near where I came in, two men were laying on the ground like rag-dolls in a shallow pool of warm crimson blood, each of them received two rounds straight in the torso.

Fifteen minutes earlier . . .

It seemed as though it was just another lazy Thursday morning. The sun was rising, the sky was blue, and I had to go to the place where everyone wanted to make me the most miserable mo-fo in all of the city. Is that how they got their sick kicks? By using a brutal one-two punch of both fisticuffs and words? No, today would be different, today would be a day of redemption. Today would be the day when no one would bother me because I was different in only one little way. That was why today, I made sure that my 'protector' was with me. It was quite a sight, walking into that dull-as-Keanu Reeves fast-food restaurant. For the most part, I kept my heater in my coat pocket, but his time to shine would soon come.

Walking through the streets, I make my way into my place of business. Today, instead of entering through the front, like the white fat asses, I enter through the back.

"Hey, wigger, you're fucking late, AGAIN!" a man in the kitchen growled at me. He walks up to me and whacks me in the head, as all the other employees laugh and point at me.

"Man, the boss should have seen that!" the woman at the register said, in a devilish cackle.

"Say, where's the boss-man again?" I asked, trying to keep my cool but secretly wanting to kill them where they stand. They would get theirs soon enough, if they kept acting like this.

"That sun-baked asshole got constipation or somethin, and you're gonna clean that toilet, ya damn Slav" the woman said with another evil laugh. I felt as though I should have took out my heater and gave that bitch what she deserved. I stopped myself before I pulled out the weapon. She would die soon.

"YOU! WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL ALL MY HOPES? ALL MY DREAMS? YOU CAN ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES, OKAY?" I shouted in a fit of rage, I was about to kill them all, but, suddenly, they stopped laughing, and a silence filled the workplace. That silence was broken by the boss, who sauntered into the area acting like he was king of England.

"Awwwww, is the dumb Polack gonna cry?" he said in an insulting manner. That was the breaking point. With extreme rage, I took out my pistol and I began to pop caps in each and every one of their asses, saving my three last bullets for the boss-man.

"HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW, YA DIRTY HO!" I yelled in rage as I deposited the rest of my clip into his puny body.

My Glock 17 clicked loudly, it's clip was empty, and it was pointing at a man, shot dead by three of it's 9x19mm Parabellum rounds. To my right, a woman was laying on the ground, shot in the head. Walking into the kitchen, near where I came in, two men were laying on the ground like rag-dolls in a shallow pool of warm crimson blood, each of them received two rounds straight in the torso.

"Damn Fuzz gonna get my ass now, man!" I whispered softly to myself. A getaway vehicle, that's what I needed. Luckily, that fucktard of a boss had the keys to one ugly ass Dodge Charger, which would allow me to get away safely, at least, in theory. Walking over to that damn fruit, I took his keys and skedaddled over to his car. Opening it up, I gently placed the key into the ignition, and proceeded to get the hell out of dodge. I could be going to damn bu-fu Egypt for all I care, I just needed to lose those butthurt coppers.

On the highway, twenty five minutes later . . .

"Bitch-ass-cum-crap-grandma-crack-cocaine-snoop dogg-weed-eminem-baby daddy-nuke-wale-gay bar-lesbo-radical-cum-minecraft!" I cursed as I began to hear a plethora of sirens behind me. I was almost at the Jersey Turnpike, and they were about to stop my one chance at freedom. The popo were descending on my ass, and I had best lose them or risk becoming a mindless jailbird. "Man, I'm assed out, they gonna get me, gotta bail, gotta bail!" I yelled, flooring the car. About twenty of them and a chopper were now on my ass, and they probably had backup or some shit like that, better plan my moves carefu-

*POP*

"Shit, got a flat rubber, this ain't good dawg, this ain't good!" I said as I heard a sickening popping sound over to my right. I began to lose control, accidentally steering the car into the other side of the parkway in my effort to keep straight. Over in front of me, a semi was gaining ground, about to crash. He tried to steer that bitch, and so did I, but it was too late. It seemed as though time slowed as I heard a deafening crunching noise followed by a large piece of metal being propelled straight towards me. It pierced my torso, but it seemed as though I was still conscious, but I knew I was fading out quickly as I saw a black ring encasing my field of vision. Next thing I knew, I was falling . . . and falling . . . and falling. It seemed as though I was falling endlessly, but I stopped trying to feel my surroundings and in some fucking way, I stopped falling. There was no hard impact, and it felt as though I hit a very soft dumpster, but I couldn't see what was going, like I was sleeping or something.

After a good deal of time, maybe five minutes or so, my eyes had started to open up, and I saw that I was in a… room, with only only one wooden door, dark, with a gilded doorknob. I heard some kind of soft cosmic echo. I felt weightless yet still in my body, I could feel the ground. I looked down at myself, to see if I had sustained any damage. What I saw shocked me. Instead of a body . . . I was some kinda of dark shiny Jello-like creature with a star pattern.

"HOLY SHIT, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? WHAT IN GODS NAME? NOOOOOOOO! MOTHER FUCKER! AAAHHHHHHH! HOLY CRAP, SHITFUCKASS!" I screamed, letting out my ganger rage.

"Stranger, art thou done with thy rant?" a female voice asked, obviously irritated with my profane outburst. The voice sounded very familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on it, or, should I say, 'put my gelatinous body on it'.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" I yelled out to whoever was there. The voice didn't seem to concentrate from a specific area, but then again, neither did mine.

"Well, thy question will be rather difficult to answer in the current situation." the voice retorted wittingly.

"NO, BITCH, JUSS GIMME MY ANSWERS!" I yelled, trying to regain my 'composure'.

"Calm yourself, that is no way to speak to royalty!" she commanded in a very loud ground shaking voice.

"WHAT GOD DAMN ROYALTY? JUST GIVE ME MY FUCKING ANSWERS!" I said, now even louder than before.

"Well, this shalt come as a surprise to thee, but I am Princess Luna, co-ruler of the land of Equestria"

"You mean like in those My Little Pony cartoons?" I replied.

"I am confused by thy wording, I must ask you to go through the door, so I may explain things better to you" she said with a puzzled voice.

"BUT HOW THE HELL DO I DO THAT? I GOT NO ARMS OR LEGS?" I yelled, raising my voice once more.

"Thou must only concentrate, and then thou can move, rather simple, is it not?" the princess said in a kind voice. Taking her advice, since it was my one and only shot at getting out of this place, I concentrated as hard as I could on my movement. I began to strain as though I was constipated or something. Reaching the door, I was about to ask Luna how I was supposed to open it, but before I could speak, the wooded door began to open, sucking me into it's magical abyss of wonders unknown.

It felt as though I was speeding down the highway on a motorcycle. After a few seconds, I could see what I could determine as my destination, a large bedroom decorated with purple and other dark colors. My figure began to change. Instead of being an indistinguishable blob, I began to grow legs, and a head, and hair, and a torso, and genitalia . . . except I wasn't human, not by a long shot. Entering my destination, I could see more clearly what was around me. Except, I was to preoccupied with looking down at myself than looking around at the room.

"HOLY SHITTING DICK NIPPLES I'M A-" I was cut off by Luna smothering my mouth with one of her soft purple pillows.

"Keep quiet, Tia isn't supposed to know you're here. There would be hell to pay if she found out that I turned one of heaven's pariahs into a citizen in her land" she whispered, in a much more natural voice than before.

"Mmmmmf, mmf, frummmph" I said, not being able to speak properly due to the pillow over my mouth.

"Fine, just don't yell when I take off the pillow" she said softly, pulling the pillow off of my lips. As I caught my breath, she began to explain what the heck was happening. "Let me explain to you everything that I can. Due to the fact that you died, you would have been normally been sent to 'another place'. Luckily for you, I intervened in the process a bit. So now, you're gonna have to live in Equestria for a bit before I can send you over to heaven. But there is a catch . . . you're gonna have to give me reports on . . . uh . . . resentment and why it's bad for both of our races or something like that. As you might have noticed, you have retained the body of a unicorn, which'll help you out a bit, since you can levitate and use objects with ease. Of course you'll need some way to get used to your new body, so I'm going to send you over to-"

Luna was cut off by a knock at her door, it seemed as though one of the royal guards was sent to call her down to somewhere else in the castle.

"Princess Luna, your sister requires you in the main hall!" said a deep gruff voice outside the chamber.

"Curses, it seems our meeting will be cut short. Here's a piece of levitating parchment to reminding you about who you are and the current time. Remember to send me notes about your findings. I've arranged for my good friend, Twilight Sparkle, to make sure you fit into the life here" she whispered quickly. Before I could object, she gave me the apparently 'magical' piece of paper and covered me with a dark violet mist. Spinning around, as though I was in some sort of amusement park ride, the scenery slowly began to change. Instead of a bedchamber decorated with dark purples and violets, the setting slowly changed into a mid-afternoon outside a large 'tree house'.

"Look Spike, I think it's him!" I heard a distinctive and familiar voice say "Spike, finish cleaning up, I have to go greet this new gentlecolt!" I looked through the piece of paper, getting to know my new name.

"North Star . . . North Star, I suppose that fits" I thought in my head as the mare began to open the door.

"Greetings! I'm Twilight Sparkle! Please come in!" said the mare with a smile