Birch screams and disintegrates to a pile of gunpowder. I hear Herobrine yelling.I turn to him and see he has already summoned witches, creepers, spiders, endermen, magma cubes, slimes, ghasts, skeletons, zombies, zombie pigmen~the works. And not just one or two of each, either.
I shrink against a tree as a skeleton shoots my already wounded arm. I chop off a zombies head, trying not to scream in pain. I pull out the arrow and throw it like a spear at a creeper. It hisses and blows up, destroying seven monsters around it. A spider tries to climb the tree behind me and pounce while I'm fending off a magma cube. I step back as it jumps off the tree, so it attacked a skeleton, who mistook the spider for me and shot killed it and several other monsters with wild shots.
A zombie pigman lurched toward me on a chicken. Oh wow.A-oh, come on. I can't ride a chicken! It slashed at me with it's golden sword and I ducked as he hit the tree. Man, these guys were bad fighters.
Two arrows struck me in the back. "Urg~" I gurgled, staggering back and forth. My vision was turning blurry. I take the bad fighters comment back. A spider landed on my back, unexpected, and I fell to my knees. I realized I was staring at the legs of an enderman. It made a funny noise. Uh oh. I scrambled up, but it was too late.
The enderman struck me on the face, then teleported behind me and punched me hard. I was this close to death. A magma cube tried to pounce, showing that it could move like an accordion, but I attacked it with my iron sword, which was running low. It burst into four tiny magma cubes, and I killed them all.
I turned to the slime. It looked up at me, or turned towards me, or whatever it did. A ghast shot a fire ball at me and it hit the slime. It exploded into tiny other pieces, like the magma cube. I was learning a lot about this. It dropped a slime ball when it finally died.
A witch cackled and lunged forward, and tried to spray me with poison. I dodged behind a creeper as she did, so the creeper got poisoned. It blew up, angry and killed several other monsters.
Soon there was only herobrine and me left. I circled him as he picked his teeth with a piece of wheat. He leaned on his diamond sword, threw back his head, and laughed, shining a light into the dark night sky.
"Son," he cackled, "I am more than a hundred times more powerful than you, almost as powerful as that wretched Notch of yours. 'Pop', eh?" he grinned as if he were sharing an inside joke. I glared. I regret calling him that.
I poured a bucket of lava at Herobrine's feet. All he did was wade right in, unaffected whatsoever. He didn't even catch on fire. He advanced. I desperately pulled out a shield. He laughed again and slashed my shield in half. Oh. Guess my shield didn't work on diamond swords.
I whimpered and tried to set off TNT behind him, but all he did was snort and colllect it. "Any last words?" He asked as he walked calmly over to me.
"HEROBRINE!" Notch's voice rattles the earth. I swear, Herobrine squeaked. He covered it with a cough, then a growl. "Notch!" He yelled into the heavens, his blazing white eyes shining into the clouds.
"Come down here yourself if you want to fight me!" Herobrine continued.
Then lightning struck Herobrine. He flashed like TNT. "STEVE! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE, STEP BACK!" The voice bellowed. I followed Notch's orders, feeling numb and dizzy. Oh god.
"MORE!" Notch screamed. I ran away, cowarding in fear. A BOOOOM sounded in my ears, a gigantic shake, and a crackle followed.
Slowly I dared to gaze up. I trembled. Where Herobrine had stood just seconds ago, there was a crater so big that my store, when still up, would have easily fit into there.
I inched away, then eased into a full sprint.
...
I was still rebuilding level 1 of my store, feeling like a loser that I just ran away. I glumly put apple pie, fresh-baked sugar cookies and carrot cake onto the counter of my newly-built bakery.
Then I heard a guy's voice. Warily I looked up, fully prepared for the respawn of Herobrine or the prince of zombies or something stupid like that. Instead I saw a normal guy in a brown wool sweatshirt and lime green sweatpants. With eyes.
He licked his lips. "Hey, do you have any fish?" He asked. I was surprised. "You can have as much as you like. The only other one around here to eat it is me," I said carefully.
"Sweet!" He yelled, and jumped into the roasted fish, salmon, bread dipped in mushroom and beet stew, de-poisoned puffer fish, and oven-browned potatoes with sugar cream. This guy must have been hungry.
"Apple?" I weakly offer, holding up a shiny golden one. He takes that between bites of pumpkin pie, fried eggs and watermelon canapes.
Finally he burps and stands up, brushing some crumbs off his face. I swear he gained at least twenty pounds.
"So," I say after an awkward silence. "What's your name? Mine's Steve."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Gene." He says. I guess I must have looked puzzled, because he said, "Well, my real name is Eugene, but my friends call me Gene-that is, if I had a friend. You're the first guy I met."
Oh. Um- "Do you know what prank war is?" I offer. He lights up. "No, but it sounds fun!" He said happily. I explained how to play. "Okay!" He says. We head out to my yard. "Forty minutes," I call, and get to work.
...
I dig a three-block tall 12 blocks of the tunnel. I placed an empty chest at the end of the tunnel. I dug two blocks deeper, and placed TNT down the length of the tunnel down there. I hopped up and laid dirt on top of the TNT. Then I put a pressure plate connected to one TNT on the first block you walked on when you climbed down the ladder. Then I made the ceiling covered in rigged trapdoors, and covered the trapdoors with gravel, then covered that with dirt. I covered it with dirt unevenly, so Gene wouldn't suspect. I covered the sides, too, and made other random dirt piles for good measure. Then I put a pressure plate connecting with the trapdoor onto the next block. Then I made the only opening on the ladder, then built twelve blocks around it, added some more ladders, then jumped off the whole thing. I built stairs leading up to it. Then I put a single diamond, not a diamond block, floating ontop of the hole.
I made a small room just under the TNT row. I climbed up the ladder and put a block of dirt on top of the hole.
I smile in satisfaction as Gene calls out. "I'm ready!" He says. I dump my items into a chest and walk over. He has built a deep hole with a block of diamond below the glass. knowing what will happen, I break the glass and collect the diamond. I plunge into a pit with ice on the bottom and cacti on the walls. I was expecting a lava pit, but this was pretty clever, too.
I slipped on the ice and got prickled. I couldn't stay still on the ice.
I broke the ice and plunged into a lava feet. Oh. I respawned next to Gene. "Clever," I say. "Now let's go to mine."
I was grinning with anticipation as Gene dumped his stuff into my chest. I wiped off the dirt and climbed into the room below the TNT. I destroyed the block above me, which showed the bottom of a TNT block. I heard Gene climbing up the stairs.
"Ouch!" came the muffled call as Gene landed on the first pressure plate. He wasn't in this world long enough to know that ticking of TNT was a bad thing, but enough to know how to make a great trap? Um...
I climbed out of the small room after re-covering the bottom of the TNT. I peered inside the hole.
I saw Gene run towards the chest, rigging the second plate. Immediately I heard the 'whump' of gravel landing on Gene. I stepped back. Seconds later, the entire thing exploded. I dutifully collect the ladders, pressure plates, stone steps, dirt and a chest. And a diamond.
Gene appeared next to me moments later. "Nice one, Steve," he said as he high-fived me. "You definitely win."
Next, I made a long tunnel, just tall enough to stand up in and just wide enough. I put two dispensers instead of the last blocks at the end facing in. I put a redstone trail underground. I filled both dispensers with arrows. I continued the redstone trail underground and connected it to the pressure plate that was right inside the iron door. For spooky effect, I put moss stone on the walls and several torches. Then I destroyed the torches, deciding I wanted monsters to spawn there. It was getting dark.
Then I made a sign outside the door. 'FREE FOOD INSIDE.' I doubted Gene would go for that one, but the guy seems to like his food. The moon rose up in the sky. Yep, there was going to be monsters, fresh on the clock today.
Again, I finished around the time Gene did. He walked over to my trap. "Yeah right," he snorted when he saw the sign, but went in anyway. He was immediately attacked by a zombie, but Gene killed it. He grinned triumphantly. "Steve, that all you got?" He should have kept the zombie there, protecting him from the dispensers. Eighteen arrows hit him in the back. He died. Then he respawned behind me.
"We should hurry to my trap," he said, "If we want to go monster hunting after dark." I put my best puppy face on.
I walked over to his battlefield thing. His was simple. A wide hallway of gravel. A chest lay at the end saying 'NO EMERALDS OR DIAMONDS HERE. REALLY.' I snorted. "Riiiiight." The chest was separated from me by a wall of dirt, and I could only see the chest through a hole in the middle which I couldn't squeeze through. I destroyed a block of dirt on the side. Nothing happened. I collected the dirt block and destroyed the one above it. Then I stepped into the tight space, plainly seeing the pressure plate. Lava gushed out of the hole. I died.
I yawned after respawning next to Gene. "Let's go monster hunting," I said. "Thought you'd never ask," Gene said, collecting a bow, sixty four arrows, and an iron sword. I grab a diamond long sword and a shield.
Soon I spot a zombie. I plunge my sword through it, and it groans and crumples. Then skeleton catches my eye, and I sneak up behind it and pop him in the back. I collected two bones and an arrow, which I gave to Gene. He groans in frustration. "How come I can't find anything?"
I shrug with a devious grin. "Head to the village and kill zombies? I asked. He brightens. "Yeah! Um...but where is a village?" he asks.
"We have to find it," I tell him, and we set off. Gene managed to kill a spider on the way.
Suddenly I saw a tall black dot in the distance. "Hey-" I say. "Don't look now, but there's an Enderman over there." Of course, he looked. "Where?" He asked innocently.
The enderman stood there, with a gaping mouth, trembling. Then it let out a long bellow. It teleported near us. "Told you not to look," I hissed. We ran off. It chased us, often teleporting in front of us or next to us. Finally it left us alone.
"Geez," Gene said. I was expecting him to say something about the enderman attack. We were both panting. "I gotta poop."
"Dude. You did not have to share that with me." I said. "Well, it's true," he said defensively. "Do it later," I say. "No, I gotta go now." "Couldn't you have before we set off? Go do it in a hole, I won't judge."
I dug a hole in the ground about three blocks deep, set sticks in the ground around it, and hung a curtain from them. "Go there," I said.
He went inside.
"Dude," I said, ticked off. "It's one thing to say it, but it really is disturbing to hear you grunt while on the go."
"Sor-ry!"
I sighed and tapped my foot.
"I need paper," Gene called after a while. "Wipe on the grass," I said, rolling my eyes. God.
Finally he came out. We set off again, me keeping my distance from Gene. Finally we saw a village on the flat horizon. And swarming green dots. We ran faster. we saw that in the middle of the swarming zombies, an iron golem was swinging his fist around and killing a lot of zombies.
Before I could stop him, Gene aimed his bow at the golem.
"No!" I yelled. But it was too late. The golem turned around slowly, plucking the arrow from it's back. Then it charged.
I quickly dug a three-block deep hole, pushed Gene into it while avoiding his grubby hands, and put a block of dirt on top of that. The golem turned back and resumed fighting the zombies, paying me no notice. I heaved a sigh of relief. I uncovered Gene.
"Are you an idiot?" I whispered. "He's like, the one good monster in this game!" Gene gave me a halfhearted, "Sorry." Geez.
We joined killing the zombies. I charged and Gene shot. When the zombies were gone, the golem plucked a poppy from the ground and offered it to a villager while I collected rotten flesh. The sun started to rise.
"What do you want to do now?" I ask. He shrugs. Then we heard a deep, all-too-familiar laugh.
"I've got something in mind," said the voice. The earth split and a black stallion rushed out. For some reason, Gene had a smile on his face. That was scary because-
The person mounted on the stallion looked like a normal person. That's not the scary part. He had an insane smile on-
And glowing white eyes.
