'Ello again! I have finally broken down and started creating a new series which isn't just a collection of drabbles and one shots! There's a little back story behind this, so I shall explain.

This was written by me and a friend and I on the 'Day of Eternal Wrong', aka Wacky Wednesday during school Spirit Week. I made a half-assed attempt at dressing as Deidara, and she to a slight extent, dressed as Konan. Out of sheer boredom, we write the bit of dialog that's in my mini-story and Drabble collection. It's chapter three, if you're curious.

Anyways, we got talking the next day and we thought: "Hey, I wonder what happened after that scenario." Thus, we began this monster of a project. 18 pages of all dialog once typed, so that's...what... thirty something written pages? Anyways, we got done writing it, looked at the page count, almost fainted and then said: "Let's write a sequel!"

I'm not even starting that sequel until this one is done. Besides, I need to pull it out of my dresser. Well, at least what we have written. One page got lost in the school library's copy of 'Prisoner of Arabian', and we haven't't written since. The plot of it is relatively simple, though, and I can think on it when I get to that point.

Anyways, enjoy the fic! Next installment will be... well... hopefully soon.

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Fold! Cut! Boom! Criminals in Love!

Deidara peeked out from behind a door, brow drenched in sweat. It had been a half hour since Tobi, his partner, had begun chasing him around the Akatsuki lair. He had been asking Konan, the resident female, for relationship advice, and she wasted no time in diverting attention from her being on the bottom during sex by calling in the hyper-active Uchiha.

"Konan-chan, why did you have to call in Tobi like that, un?" he asked, checking to see if the coast was clear for the umpteenth time. "He runs me ragged enough at night; I don't need him to run me ragged in the morning, too, un."

The blue-haired kunoichi raised and amused eyebrow and smirked, readjusting the white flower in her hair. "Well, Deidara, Tobi is a good boy." She noticed the blond shiver slightly.

"Not always, un…"

There was a good minute of awkward silence between the two Akatsuki members and Deidara came out fully form behind the door.

"Wow, Konan-chan, don't be such a chatterbox, un." Konan's head turned at the amount of sarcasm that was laced into the sentence. She wasn't used to being talked to that way. Lust and command were normal, but never, ever sarcasm.

"I'm not a loudmouth, unlike a certain blond male who I work with," was her stern reply. The air suddenly became charged with the faint bit of electricity that came just before a storm… or a fight. Deidara raised his chin looking down at Konan, a faint look of amused contempt playing on his features, producing a smirk.

"Odd… I remember you being quite the screamer when you were with Pein last night, un." Deidara saw, with satisfaction, Konan's fists clench, knuckles turning white. He was pushing the right buttons to anger her. For some reason, arguments seemed to take away the stress of the day. "But it's nothing to be upset about, Konan-chan," he continued, looking at his purple-painted nails. "There were some nights where Sasori-dana and I were so loud; Itachi would scold me for a week, un."

"You god damned bastard," Konan sneered in slight disgust, glaring at him. The two now stood facing each other. Zetsu, who had been sitting in a corner, absorbing sunlight, took this opportunity to leave. The argument, he noticed, had no chance of ending well, especially now that Konan was about to snap.

Deidara yawned, using the hand he was observing to cover his mouth. "What a coincidence! I remember you saying the same thing to Pein last ni-"

"You die!" Konan raged, throwing three paper shiruken at the blond. He quickly ducked them and placed his arms over his head, cowering comically.

"I was joking! I'm sorry, really! Please don't kill me, Konan-chan, un!" The kunoichi glared at her sniveling fellow criminal and placed her next volley of paper shiruken in her cloak pocket.

"You're lucky, Deidara. If you weren't a valuable member of Akatsuki, I would have killed you here and now. Push your luck again, and I will not hesitate to murder you, man whore."

Deidara sprang up, stepping towards Konan, arms crossed. "Whoa now! Look at the pot calling the kettle black! I'm a man whore, and you're the only girl amongst seven guys! I don't even need my scope to see what the hell is going on there, un!"

There was another moment of awkward silence between the two criminals before the door opened and Kisame walked in. The swordsman walked through the room until he got to a small table. From the table, he picked up a deck of playing cards and then proceeded to leave the room.

"Oh yeah… it's Friday!" Deidara remembered, all previous tension gone. "It's Poker night! I can't believe I forgot! Hey, Konan-chan, you're going to come to Poker Night, right?" he asked, clearly having put their earlier feud behind. "Please come! It's at seven."

Konan though for a second, then smirked. "I don't know, Deidara. I do have six other men to attend to."

"Don't even joke like that, un," Deidara said, becoming defensive for reasons unbeknownst to him. "Besides, Pein is supposed to be the pervert, un."

Konan just let out a laugh. "Seriously, Deidara, I have plans tonight. But, you pushed my buttons, I will now push yours. How was Tobi last night?" The kunoichi smiled triumphantly at the taken-aback criminal in front of her, who began stuttering nervously, unwillingly making eye contact.

"Well, Umm, I-I guess, uh, I'm j-just not used to the handcuffs and, um, ah… being s-strapped to the bed, un…" he explained hesitantly, rubbing the back of his head. "I-I'd rather not talk about it, un…"

"Then don't open up your personal life like a book," Konan advised, stepping forward and flicking at Deidara's headband with her index finger. "After all, aren't ninjas all about keeping secrets and being stealthy?"

Deidara averted his eyes from her gaze. Too close for comfort, he thought, backing away and meeting a wall. "But I trust you… I would never have said anything if you hadn't asked, un…"

Konan moved closer to Deidara. "You seem nervous, Deidara… I thought you trusted me," she crooned. "You're' tense…"

"If Pein were to come in now," Deidara warned,"you would be in deep trouble, un."

"Oh, relax, will you?" she half snapped, leaning against Deidara. "He won't come… he's off on a mission…"

Deidara felt himself, oddly enough, putting his arms around Konan. What's happening? He wondered to himself, pulling her closer. "K-Konan-chan… I… you…un…"

Konan chuckled. "What, Deidara? Are you too much of a girl to give me a simple hug?" She almost laughed, but she felt herself being spun around and shoved up against the wall, hard. Deidara stood in front of her, pinning her to the wall, his one exposed eye boring into her soul with a mix of fury and… lust…

"I am not a girl, un," he growled. Konan smirked at his reaction. Pein had never acted this way when teased. It was… interesting, she noted.

Leaning forward just a little, Konan whispered into Deidara's ear. "Prove it to me, then."

The next thing she knew, Konan was laying next to Deidara on his bed, covered by a thick, black blanket, staring at the ceiling with partially glazed-over eyes.

"Oh my god… what just happened?"