Past the point of no return

*C.C enters the mansion through the back door*

C.C: "Hello, Hello!"

C.C: "Henrietta Hoover what do I have to do to get a cup of coffee in here?"

* Familiar noise in the living room and an evil grin appears on C.C's face*

C.C: "Oh this is too good!"

*C.C goes all the way round the mansion to the staircase and sneaks quietly down the stairs. Niles is lying on the couch, whisky in one hand, cigar in the other watching the TV. C.C leans down towards him*

C.C: "Boo!"

*Niles jumps *

Niles: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

C.C: "HaHaHaHahahaha"

Niles: "Are you forgetting I had a heart attack Medusa! You could have killed me."

C.C: "Oh no Niles I wouldn't want to kill youuuu but the boss might when he finds out what you've been doing. Now he could forgive the cigars and the whisky but he won't forgive that..."

*C.C points to the screen and begins her trademark cackle*

Niles: "You wouldn't dare."

C.C: "Wouldn't I?"

Niles: "C.C Babcock, I happen to know for a fact that you also love the Phantom of the Opera."

C.C: "But it's not about what I like is it, it's about what Maxwell likes and he doesn't even like Webbers name mentioned in the house, far less his paid employees promoting his finest work when they should be on his time and scrubbing his toilets. You remember what happened when that last chorus girl that came here for auditions went on and on about Phantom being her inspiration. He was downright cruel to the girl."

Niles: "Yes I remember he reminded me of someone."

C.C: "Me"

*They both laugh then Niles snaps out of it *

Niles: "You can't prove anything Babcock. I'll tell him you must have been seeing things, hallucinations brought on by your drinking habit. I'll have him putting you in Betty Ford faster than you can say Sarah Brightman."

*C.C pulls a Dictaphone from her pocket and rewinds slightly *

Dictaphone: "You can't prove anything..."

C.C: "HaHaHaHaHahaha"

*Niles walks towards C.C and smiles slightly. He folds his arms and leans close to her.*

Niles: "Okay shrew what will it take?"

C.C: "Well piles, as you know Miss- nasal voiced I get my own way all the time-Fine, has forced Maxwell into spending time with her and his brats. So because dumb and dumber need 'family time' I will be stuck working in the office .Up Until this little scenario, I would have been forced to do all of Maxwell's work and mine and then go and run my own errands, which meant I'd have been close to tearing my hair out."

Niles: "Would that be your fake Blonde hair?"

*C.C pretends to ignore him*

C.C: "But now I don't have to Butler boy cause you are going to do what you were born to do. Serve."

Niles: "And here's me thinking I was born with the sole purpose of driving a stake through your evil ice cold heart."

*C.C pours herself a glass of whisky and begins to walk towards the office. She is not looking at Niles as she speaks*

C.C: "And what is the moral of this story? Never underestimate C.C Babcock. I'll be in the office."

Niles; "Ohhhh Caca"

*C.C turns round*

Niles: "Never underestimate the Butler."

Dictaphone: "Well piles as you know..."

*C.C groans, swallows the whisky and trudges back towards Niles *

C.C: "What do you want?"

*Niles takes her hand and leads her to the couch*

Niles: "Just your undivided attention for the afternoon."

Sometime later ...

* They are both sitting on the couch together with glasses in hand. C.C keeps nervously looking at the door*

C.C: "Niiiiiiles turn this off now; they could come home at any time. If Maxwell catches us.."

Niles: "Oh come on Babs, a little bit of danger and excitement never hurt anyone."

C.C: "Niles this is not the enjoyable kind of danger and excitement, this is 'our asses will get fired if he catches us watching this', kind of excitement."

Niles: "Since when have you cared about my ass?"

C.C: "Since you made that recording and I realised that if we get caught watching this then you'll use it, thus putting my ass on the line to save yours."

Niles: "Tukhus, I mean touché."

*C.C begins to point to the T.V*

C.C: "I never got why Christine picked this guy over the Phantom? Sure he's handsome and rich but there's no connection. There's no ... no..."

Niles: "Passion."

C.C: "Exactly."

*Niles smiles and pours C.C another glass of whisky as past the point of no return begins. C.C forgets the situation for a minute*

C.C: "This is my favourite song from Phantom, I adore it but not surprisingly we don't get many auditions that use it...successful ones anyway."

Niles: "Sometimes Mr Sheffield is...is..."

C.C: "A bit of a moron..."

Niles: "You said it!"

*They clink their glasses together, song starts and Niles and C.C without realising begin to sing the male and female parts of the song in low voices*

Past the Point of No Return

Niles: "have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent, silent. I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge, in your mind you've already succumbed to me dropped all defences
completely succumbed to me ,now you are here with me :no second thoughts, you've decided, decided .
Past the point of no return, no backward glances: our games of make believe are at an end. Past all thought of "if" or "when", no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream
descend. What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us? Past the point of no return, the final threshold -what warm,
unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return . . ."

C.C : "You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence. I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why. In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenceless and silent -and now I am here with you: no second thoughts, I've decided, decided.

Past the point of no return, no going back now: our passion-play has now at last begun. Past all thought of right or wrong -one final question: how long should we two wait, before we're one? When will the blood begin to race, the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames, at last, consume us?"

Niles and C.C: "Past the point of no return, the final threshold -the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn . . . We've passed the point of no return."

C.C: "Well that was...weird...time for me to leave I think butler boy, let's not mention this happened...like ever..."

*C.C is about to get up but Niles pulls her back onto the couch. He takes her hands in his.*

C.C: "Whhhhat are you doing Rochester?"

Niles: "shhhhhh don't spoil this, hag."

*last piece of music plays*

Niles: "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you'll want me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go let me go to. C.C that's all I ask of you."

*C.C shifts uncomfortably as Niles moves closer towards her; he places his hand on her face and their heads rest together*

Niles: "I seem to get lucky with you quite a bit when this couch is involved."

C.C: "Niles, what's happening, what just happened...am I drunk?"

Niles: "No witch, not this time, this time we do this relatively sober."

*C.C in barely a whisper*

C.C: "Then do it quickly before I stop you."

*Niles moves his hand slowly to the back of her head and strokes her hair .He gently pulls her towards him and her hands begin to move to his waist. Niles lightly kisses C.C and then the kiss deepens until they are lying on the couch*

*door opens*

Maxwell: "What the hell is the Phantom of the Opera doing on my T.V!"

*They both quickly sit up. Niles straightens his jacket and tie and C.C fixes her hair*

C.C: "It's being a hit, unlike anything we've ever produced!"

Maxwell: "C.C! What's got into you!"

Niles: "Absolutely nothing due to you, this is the second time Mr. Sheffield, the second time you've done this to me!"

C.C: "I'm going home Maxwell."

* C.C Walks to the door puts her coat on and leaves*

Niles: "I'm going to start dinner."

*Niles storms off into the Kitchen and Fran begins to follow him*

Fran: "And I'm going to get to the bottom of this!"

*Max to himself*

Max: "I don't have a clue what's going on... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN THIS RUBBISH OFF!"