A/N: OKAYYYY, this is a short first chapter and I know it, yes, but actually I'm not so sure if I wanna continue this or not? I mean, I have idea and all, but what I'm planning is, I'm not sure I am capable of write it just like I have it in my mind OR have enough time; everything and everyone are after my neck right now, and I'm not even kidding, jesus christ. But, let's give it a try!
This chapter is rather depressed, I guess. Oh well, living with a sibling who's in almost at dying state isn't really nice.
Fuck.
Taking one leg after another quickly, running as fast as he could, away from all the noise of the police sirens, away from all the chaos he caused, he gripped the dirty, blue strap of his sport bag with sweaty, trembling, glove-covered hands, heart pounding in his chest as he escaped the crime scene, his amber eyes are wide, wide from pure shock, hidden behind his navy sunglasses.
What have he done?
As he made his way to a hidden spot he claimed as his the past few days, his trembling legs finally gave out under him, and he collapsed on the hard, cold ground, panting harshly from all the running he had done just before. Even though what's done is done, he still couldn't believe it; he didn't want to believe what happened. Confusion hit him first, he was confused at his own actions; usually he doesn't think before he acts, that's true, but he never thought that he could be this stupid.
After that, there came the guilt.
The guilt; what made his once clear eyes water.
This was bad.
Really, really bad.
Gritting his teeth, he pulled his trembling limbs close to his chest, and buried his face in his arm with closed eyelids, trying to calm himself down. What's done is done.
He knew that this whole situation he found himself in would only make him worse than what he already was – he hated himself more than before. He never thought of himself as a bad man, even though he possessed a strength so inhuman, so unnatural as his – plus, with such temper as his. He knew that there are other ways to earn money, knew he shouldn't do this.
He knew what he had done is bad, and this made him a criminal, he was aware of that fact; but this was the fastest way to make that pocket full of green.
And boy, he needed that money fast.
He lifts his head and takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, and when the trembling of his body stops, and he is calm enough to stand up straight, he picks himself up, lifting up his now heavier sport bag from the ground as well, as he sighs, dusting himself, cleaning his clothes from the dirt what stuck on them while he was on the ground.
But he had to do this for him, right? The blonde thought as he gulped, making his way back to home, avoiding people with the uncomfortable feeling in his chest, and the headache the stress of his own actions caused.
"I'm home," said the blonde with a voice loud enough so his sibling in the other room would hear; he closed the door after himself, with slightly trembling hands and building up paranoia, turned the key and locked it. Taking quick steps he made his way to his own room to drop the bag on the bed with a deep frown on his face as he looked down on it. He really wasn't proud of how he earned – no, stole the money from their rightful place, but at least he could buy the expensive medicine that his younger brother needs to survive. At the little noise that his wood door made when it got opened he turned, just to see the brown, pale boy with an exhausted face staring at him blankly.
"Brother are you okay?" the young boy mumbled, and put his hand up to his mouth to cover a harsh cough that needed to come out after speaking a full sentence firstly on this day.
"Ah, Kasuka, be careful!" the taller of the two hissed with a worried face as he hurried to the younger, "Shouldn't you be in your bed?" when the said boy nodded weakly, Shizuo helped him back to his room, and made him lie down on his futon. "Wait a sec, and I will give you the medicine, okay?"
Kasuka nodded in confirmation, waiting patiently while his older brother went back to his room, grabbing a small bag out of the blue one, and came back to him with the small bag and a glass of water to make swallowing down the big pill easier. Taking it from Shizuo, he put the big pill to his mouth and lifted the glass of water to his slightly trembling, pale-ish lips, and gulped it down silently.
"Thanks," he mumbled, and closed his brown eyes as his brother's bigger, stronger, tanned hand came to cup his face, while with the other he started to wipe off the sweat of his forehead with a cloth what he grabbed on the way back to his sibling's room.
"You should rest," the older out of the two said after the complete silence they both shared for a few minutes. Amber eyes shifts to the bedside table, where laid three books on each other – the fourth was on top, open at the middle, a purple bookmark near the end makes itself visible of pages. "Reading this much again, huh?" Shizuo mumbled, as his expression expressed worry and guilt; he was worried, as to what will happen to his younger brother, and he was guilty, because he couldn't do much more than this to help his poor sibling's situation.
"Ah, yeah," Kasuka answered with a small voice, as he took a look at the clock hanging on the grey, monotone coloured wall as he noticed it was already past 10 PM. "I probably should, indeed."
As the brown haired male turned away from the dyed blond one, and fell asleep, Shizuo stared at his back, staying quiet.
He was scared.
Scared of what the future will bring. What will be tomorrow, and the day after.
With a frustrated sigh he stood up and walked out of his sibling's room with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl, and headed straight to the bathroom to take a long, mindful shower.
Take a long, mindful shower, to try to wash away today's horrified events.
To try to wash away the feeling of the money he took away from others forcefully.
To try to wash away the deep feeling of sadness, agony, and fear he felt in his chest.
To try to wash away all the dirt.
All the dirt he is.
A/N: ...Is this AU a good idea at all? Sheesh.
Please review if you want it to be continued, and/or if you have anything suggested, either be it writing style, critique, or idea.
