The day that I started noticing boys, I found my eyes drawn to my cousin's best friend. Before that, I had my nose in a book and my thoughts in my own world. I was never bothered by Scorpius Malfoy. But from that day on, I was enamored. He was my first crush admittedly but he didn't seem to notice me either. He was too caught up in quidditch and being generally nervous around the whole of the Weasley clan. I got over my crush. There were other boys. Boys that did not have Scorpius Malfoy's shoulders or eyes that were soft and grey. While I found other boys to fancy- nice boys, boys that noticed me, boys that made me giggle, boys that never went too far- I could not deny that my teenage hormones drove me absolutely mad when it came to Scorpius Malfoy and my vivid fantasies about him pushing me up against a wall.
Eventually Scorpius did notice that I seemed to melt when he entered the room. It was in fourth year. He was out of his awkward tween phase. He worked out due to being on the Quidditch team. He became aware of the effect he had on girls and possibly blew it up in his head. Not my reaction though. That was none of his imagination. Even Albus The Oblivious saw it. At first, it made Malfoy uncomfortable. Unfortunately for me, as his ego grew, Malfoy found more humor in the situation.
Fifth year came and I found out that Scorpius was messing with me. I was terribly embarrassed. However, I had my father's temper and mother's determination. I decided I hated Malfoy. And that's when our rivalry ignited.
I had managed to avoid him all summer. I went away to a Young Witch and Wizard Leadership program put on by the ministry. It was an incredibly prestigious program. Scorpius had not been accepted- a fact I could not wait to rub in his face when we went back to Hogwarts.
I wiggled in my seat as I thought about it. Right now I was returning home. It was the final week of summer and while I was grateful to be rid of Malfoy during the summer, I had missed my family terribly.
"Posie! Posie!" I heard a small voice from above the hustle and bustle of the train station. I turned around. Quite a few of the Weasley clan were there waiting to welcome me back. My eyes filled with tears. Teddy and Victoire's two year old, Addie, was attempting to wiggle out of her father's arms to get to me. Then I felt a set of arms envelop me. I breathed in deep. He smelled like soap and lemon. Miles Diggle was my boyfriend. I felt my stomach drop when I realized I had essentially forgotten about him. I plastered on a smile despite the annoyance of him hindering my going to snuggle up with Addie and ruffle my little brother's hair.
I heard the unmistakable cough of Ron Weasley. I felt Miles freeze up and then let go of me. I might have felt bad for him, as he was terrified of Ron Weasley, if I didn't immediately start crying and practically tackle my father. I had always been a daddy's girl.
"Hey there, stranger. I've missed you too." Ron said laughing. Hermione smiled down at her daughter and love embracing. I felt my little brother pinch my side.
"Hugo! You mo- fuck it, get over here." I exclaimed. I would have been apologetic about my language if I wasn't so overcome with emotions. I heard my mother huff and I reached out to pull both Hugo and my mother in a hug. Hermione returned the affection with full force while Hugo tried to act like he was just too cool for the hug.
Then I got to hold Addie and say hello to Teddy and Vic. Roxy and I giggled and did a little dance to reunite officially. Once all the hugs were done for then, we piled into a car. Miles sat quietly in the back, squished up to Fred and Louis while I was in the second row with Roxy and Vic and Addie. My elation died down a bit whenever I would look behind me. He was so freaking patient. He was too good for me.
Before long we were back at the Burrow and I had many more reunions with family members to distract myself with. The biggest and most unfortunate distraction came in the form of one Scorpius Malfoy.
I was chatting with Aunt Audrey about the program when I realized that this was not going to be as pleasant as I thought. I probably would have done almost anything to get out of a conversation about the importance of making connections with Aunt Audrey. I would have given my wand arm up gladly. I would not have been willing to put up with the heat I felt against my back as he passed too close. Aunt Audrey did not realize anything had changed but I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me.
"You see, I think you're on the right track. But it is a difficult task. I'd be glad to show you the ropes a bit although I do think that independence is imp-" Aunt Audrey continued but I only heard one thing.
"Welcome back Weaselbrat." He whispered right into my ear as he waltzed passed. I braced myself against the counter. Dammit! I turned to see him look back, smirking. He was clearly glad he got his target.
"Son of a bitch." I said rather rudely.
"Young lady!" Aunt Audrey looked quite affronted. I apologized as quickly as I could and shot off in his direction. I found him pouring himself a freaking Firewhisky.
"Why the hell are you here!?" I yelled at him. I was due one more Malfoy free week. It made sense now why the Potters hadn't been at the station. Albus usually would have been beaming at me knowingly from behind everyone as I said my hello's. Speaking of the bastard, where was he? Too scared to show his face probably. I could not believe he'd brought Malfoy along to my welcome home party. I knew I was making a scene. I did not care that those in the vicinity rolled their eyes and had turned to witness yet another of our spats.
"I came to welcome the rosiest Weasley back of course." Malfoy said mockingly, gesturing with his drink at me. I knew he was referring to my blush. Not blush as much as splotchy redness that seemed to popup when there was a lot of pollen or even a little bit of Malfoy.
"Miss me all that much? How sweet." Aaaand nope. Should not have said that. I knew I shouldn't have. I opened myself up. I was definitely going to need to set my head straight. I couldn't very well do that when he was sauntering up so close to me.
"So much, cheeks. I missed your soul. Sucking the fun out of everyone. All summer long! Your friends even got to have a bit of time to do what they liked." He made a mocking surprised face. He was too close. His words were insulting enough if I wasn't so invested in how his lips moved as he said them. Miles. Miles. Miles has nice lips too. I chanted to myself. Yeah, ok, nice lips. Not ravish me lips. My brain fought back against me.
"Well aren't you Mr. Party In Chief! You never take anything seriously. That's a great time! For everyone. Too bad the commission didn't seem to be able to take you seriously." I shot back. I knew I was yelling in comparison to his quiet barrage. I could hear people shuffling in to see what the fuss was.
"McGonagall seemed to take me seriously enough." He said simply. What did that even mean?
"What are you talking about?" Looking back, I was slow to catch on. I felt a warm hand against my back. Miles. I could tell by how gentle he was being.
"Hey Rosie Mosie. Let's take a walk." He offered. At first I just thought he was being oblivious to the situation. The nervousness on his face told me even he knew something I didn't. In fact, that expression was echoed in everyone else's in the room. "What the hell are you all not telling me?" I whispered at Miles viciously. I heard Malfoy snort.
"Is something fucking funny you imbecile!?" I yelled at him.
"I, can you stop? I don't think you need this right now." Miles practically begged.
"Miles please do not tell me what to do!" I knew I was taking my anger and guilt out on him. My stomach sank when I saw his hurt expression. He nodded and looked me in the eyes.
"Come find me when you're ready if you'd like." Miles said. He dipped his head. Embarrassed. My family parted to allow him to leave. I took a step to go after him.
"Bloody hell. What'd you do to that poor boy?" Scorpius remarked. I whipped around to him. I was so angry I didn't think. I got way too close. I had to look up in order to really see his smirking face. I could smell him. His eyes bore down on me.
"I didn't do anything to him!" I yelled at him. I was slightly proud at maintaining my anger despite wanting to melt into him.
"Now, now Rose. You're in front of your family. They don't need to know about you and Diggs sex life." He whispered. I knew no one else could hear. I couldn't help what I did next. Malfoy's go to insult was my prudishness. His hot breath against my ear, his lips being too close. I had to do it or else I may have actually done something I regretted. I slapped him. I wanted to make him stumble back. He was hardly affected physically which made me even angrier. I went to punch him this time. He grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. He held it behind my back.
"Fuck you." I hissed as I tried to get out of his grasp. Mistake. In doing this, I rubbed up against him. He stared dead into my eyes and I saw his smirk come back as he saw what it did to me.
"Hey!" Fred. Fuck. Suddenly I was being dragged off Malfoy and out of the room. Malfoy smiled and waved innocently. Fred didn't let go of me until were outside on the side of The Burrow.
"He is a fucking dick!" I yelled at Fred and he stared at me unimpressed. And then I was ranting. I paced back and forth, saying every mean thing I could about Malfoy. Fred at some point sat down and was taking something out of his pocket.
"You know you're an ass right?" Fred told me. He lit something looked remarkably similar a muggle cigarette but not quite as neat.
"Excuse me? I am!? And what the hell is that?" I squealed. I knew I was being a child. But Malfoy wound me up.
"Something you, Rose, desperately need." Fred answered. I sighed and sat next to Fred.
"You get this… and trust me you want this… when you tell me what's really going on." Dammit, why did Fred have to know me so well? Fred was a year older than me. While Roxy and I were practically the same in the all the ways people typically think, Fred and I have similar souls. It's corny and doesn't make a lot of surface sense. Fred is a badass. Sure, he was smart but not really great in class. He left in the middle of the year last year. He was adventurous and artistic and he was not built for the confines of NEWT exams and the library. I admired him.
"I am a terrible person." I conceited. It had been confirmed for me this summer. I was not nearly as committed to anything or anyone as I seemed. Fred squeezed my hand and passed me the mysterious smoking item.
"Inhale deeply. You might cough when you exhale." He instructed me. I put it between my lips, breathed in, and before I even meant to breathe out, I was in a coughing fit.
"What is that?" I said once I recovered enough.
"Weed. It's a muggle thing. A little bit of magic of their own." Fred replied.
"Did… I'm sorry, did I just fucking do drugs?" I hissed at Fred. He smiled knowingly. "Fuck it, give it back." I said, relaxing against the wall.
"Back to my lovely cousin being an ass…" Fred urged me to continue.
"Everyone… thinks…" I stopped and took another breath in of the so called weed. "No one knows me and I should be glad because they'd hate me." I admitted. Tears sprung to my eyes but my fingers began to tingle. Fred put his arm around me.
"You put too much pressure on yourself. You're going to give yourself a heart attack." Fred replied. I sighed.
"Fred, I-" I closed my eyes cutting myself off. I usually told Fred everything. But this was one thing he shouldn't have to deal with.
"I...?" Fred sounded concerned. I took another inhale of Fred's weed. He took it away from me. "Is this about Malfoy? Jesus, Rose. Listen, let's be honest. You don't actually care about being head girl. I know most people don't know that. But I do. Just because you and Malfoy have a dumb competition doesn't mean he's any better than you." It took me a minute to process what he meant. Oh. Oh, god.
"Um. So Malfoy is Head Boy." I said. And there it was. My death sentence for my final year at Hogwarts. He'd fucking won.
"Wait, that's not what you hit him for?" Fred questioned. I shook my head. And then cried.
It took me longer than it should have to woman up and dry my tears. Once I convinced Fred I was okay, I made him and I go our separate ways. My head was feeling floaty. I knew I had some apologies to make. I went with the easier one first. I apologized to Aunt Audrey. My words did not come as smooth as I would have liked. My legs seemed oddly disconnected from the rest of me. Time to make the harder apology. Miles. I needed a drink first. I snuck a glass of vodka and pumpkin juice. I downed it too quickly. Liquid courage and what not.
I found Miles in a nearly empty room. He was watching over Addie as I took a nap. The only other people here was Uncle Charlie and his boyfriend simply sitting on the other side of the room, nibbling on snacks and looking in love. Miles was so good. I wiId I could be like Uncle Charlie and Hector with Miles. Maybe one day. I'd have to keep some lies going a bit longer than I wanted to.
"Hi there." I said sitting down next to him with as much grace as a toddler's first steps. He looked at me with sad eyes.
"Rosie, I- I didn't mean to tell you what to do. Especially in front of Malfoy. I just didn't want him to hurt you." DAMMIT! Was he apologizing to me? This has to be a cruel joke.
"Please, Miles. Do not apologi- sorry I um can't seem to say it. Apollo- guys. Huh. Weird." And there goes my verbal skills. Uh oh. It was kind of funny. I was glad Miles seemed to be laughing.
"It's okay, love. I forgive you. How could I hold a grudge for someone as pretty as you?" He kissed me lightly. I tried to smile as much as I could but the corners of my mouth felt weighed down. My head was starting to swim. I couldn't be sure if it was from guilt or from what Fred informed me was called a joint. I noticed Miles' Firwhisky and soda. I asked for a sip. I may have drank half of it. Miles looked at me with an odd look.
"I, um, not feeling good. Gotta go lie down." I made an excuse and left the room as fast as my unsure feet could take me. I needed to sneak upstairs. I saw Malfoy shaking hands with Neville which stirred up more emotions. I saw a Firewhisky sitting alone. It wasn't much left but I downed it. I went to take a step to find Albus and yell at him for befriending such an arrogant successful beautiful git. That step was not so successful and I had to lean against the wall. Well, Albus' talking to would have to wait. I needed to not be seen in this state. I tried to climb the stairs as slowly as I could to avoid nausea.
I closed my eyes to hold it down. And took another step. Wait, was that a step backwards?
"Rose." I heard before I hit the ground. Wait that's too soft. And too blonde.
"Oh hello there Mr. Head Buy." I poked him on the nose. He looked at me with amusement and a twinge of worry. He set me upright again. And then gravity made me less upright. His strong arms grabbed me again.
"Jesus fucking christ. Are you stoned?" He whispered.
"That's a crime now. And a very violen thing against woman." I told him. Ha, who looked stupid now?
"Not stoning, you nitwit. Stoned. Marijuana. Weed?" Malfoy questioned.
"Oooooooo sh. Don't tell that." I told him and puId my finger against his mouth.
"Okay then." Malfoy sighed and suddenly I was off the ground.
"Hey! I did not say this was good. Where are you taking me? You, you trolldoll. Pretty troll." I insulted him. I think. He chuckled.
"To your room. Did you drink too? You sound fucking gone." Malfoy said placing me on my temporary bed. I slumped over. Malfoy seemed to galk at something and then stare at the headboard.
"Yeah. I did, arseface." I told him vehemently.
"Listen, for one, you just said I was pretty. Two, I realize that you are quite gone at the moment but pull yourself together enough to put your tits back in your dress." Malfoy said impatiently.
"Oops." I shuffled around a bit but I wasn't achieving anything. Malfoy went into my bag and pulled out a shirt.
"Just, just put this on over." He handed it to me. "I have never seen someone so incapable of handling alcohol and weed." He sounded irritated.
"HEY! You don't get to be mad. You're why this happened." I accused him. He rolled his eyes.
"Maybe this exact reaction is why I am and you're not." He sneered. He sat back on the bed once I had the shirt on.
"That's mean. You are a mean person." I pouted.
"Well, that's why we work so well, Weasley." Malfoy rubbed his face a little. "Rose, can I trust you to not choke on your own tongue for like five minutes while I get Albus?"
"YES! I WILL come with you. I've been meaning to talk to him." I tried to get up Malfoy stopped me. I pouted again.
"I am bringing him here. If you tried to get out of this bed, you'd vomit all over my clothes. So just stay here okay?" Scorpius was being bossy. My mind went to other places where Scorpius was being bossy. Even in this state, I knew to be embarrassed and I rolled over to hide my face. I heard Malfoy leave. It felt like hours until anyone came back. I felt someone turning me over.
"Albie. I am very upset with you." I told him. "You- you know how much I suck? You suck four times that for making nice with Scorp Morp Forp." I told him, feeling very nauseous. Albus looked very worried.
"Rosie, you don't suck. You're great." Albus tried to soothe me. I was starting to get worked up again.
"I dooo. That's why I am no head girl. Miles is so perfect-" I reached for Al's face. This felt necessary to make him understand!
"Alright, I don't think I need to stay here to listen to some drunk girl gush about my boyfriend." Malfoy said curtly.
"Scor, you know Rose's not some drunk girl. But thanks for coming to get me. You're the best." My eyes were closed now but I felt Albus leave the bed. " I think she's asleep anyways. I've got her from here...Hey, if Rose isn't Head Girl, do you know who is?" Albus asked.
"Nope. Could be Mindy Byer?" Scorpius replied. "I'm hopin' for Carissa Sinclair. Wouldn't mind sharing a room." Albus laughed at that.
Mindy Byer was smart but I knew I could do a better job. I didn't want to hear this. I willed myself to sleep. Fuck Malfoy and Carissa Sinclair and Malfoy's strong arms that I definitely would not dream about.
