EPOV
"How do you think it makes me feel Edward to know that I'm not enough for you, to know that I'll never be enough for you?" Tanya asked me with tears in her eyes.
I looked into those ice blue eyes of hers and felt sympathy. But that was the problem; the only real emotions she could ever withdraw from me were frustration and sympathy. Tanya pursued me relentlessly for several months. We frequented similar social circles connected to the business world and although I was attracted to her, I knew she could never give me what I wanted, craved, or needed. You see, I had tried vanilla relationships in the past, with no success. I'm a dominant, mind, body, and soul, so the vanilla lifestyle had no real appeal for me. However, my relationships in the BDSM community weren't panning out so well as of late, so I decided to try again.
It seems as though I couldn't catch a break in either environment. My last submissive, Angela, pleased me, but I wanted something more. My closest friends in the community had submissives that were beyond words. Their submission to Masters Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper was a beautiful thing to witness. The relationship I was most envious of was the one between Carlisle and his submissive Esme. She was a 24/7 submissive and a complete beauty. She had a wonderful heart, was kind and compassionate, and completely devoted to Carlisle. Alice and Jasper had a part time dominant and subsmissive contract, only 4 days out of the week: Thursday-Sunday. Emmett and Rosalie only really engaged in the lifestyle on weekends. However, the thing that each of those couples had that I was always lacking was love. They each loved each other.
I had never been in love. I've cared for my submissives and I've cared for my girlfriends, but I've never been in love. Tanya was just the latest casualty it seems on my inability to love, in either environment.
I looked at her and said the only thing I could before walking way "I'm sorry".
I walked from Tanya's apartment in downtown Seattle thinking about the events that led me to officially ending things with Tanya. We had been dating for only 4 months and I could tell that things were getting serious for her. She had recently told me she loved me and knew that I didn't have the same feelings for her yet, but hoped that they would develop over time. Hearing her say those words was like having a bucket of ice cold water dropped on me. I thought about the possible 9 to 12 more months of dating, then the expected proposal, wedding, kids, etc., everything that a vanilla relationship should progress to, and the idea of it made me sick. So I let Tanya in on my secret that night. I confessed to her that I was a dominant. At first, she thought I was joking until I walked her to my locked play room and allowed her to look around. What she said next surprised me, even now.
"l'll do it" she said, "I'll be your submissive". This was a task I knew Tanya would never be able to accomplish and she proved me right. The first time I brought her in the playroom, I kept things basic, showing her around, answering questions, etc. I walked her through the contract I had with Angela and asked her if she would like to try for a weekend. She came over last Friday ready to submit or so she thought. I tried to be patient with her, but she kept messing up on the simple commands of referring to me as sir and not speaking out of turn. After about an hour of her not even grasping a simple lesson of respect, I had to punish her. I commanded that she bend over my knee and after re-reviewing the safe words, began spanking her. I was barely done with the warm up spanks before she screamed red and headed out of the play room. This was 2 days ago. I hadn't responded to her calls and just dropped by today to officially end things.
It appears as though this walk was doing nothing to clear my head, only frustrate me more. It was a chilly autumn night and a light rain began. I decided to walk back to Tanya's apartment complex to get my car. The night was quiet, too quiet. I heard a sound to my left that sounded a lot like teeth chattering. The sound was coming from an ally way that was oftentimes frequented by Seattle's homeless community. Then, I heard a sob. It sounded so heartbreaking that I couldn't just keep walking. Against all common sense, I walked towards the ally hoping I wouldn't have to put any of my training in boxing to use on someone trying to rob me. I didn't have to walk too far in the ally way to find the person making the noise. There was a small figure curled up in the fetal position on the ground. I could immediately tell the figure belonged to a woman.
"Excuse me, miss" I began, "are you o.k.?"
The figure quickly sat up and tilted her head towards me. Even in the moonlight of this dark alley, I was immediately mesmerized by the most beautiful pair of chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen.
"Forgive me sir" she responded.
"For what" I asked, baffled about what she could be apologizing to me for and slightly turned on that this beautiful young women referred to me as sir.
"For disturbing you with my cries. I was trying not to be too loud" she said in a small voice before putting her head back down.
"Look at me" I gently commanded. With no hesitation, she made eye contact with me. Her immediate obedience caught me so off guard, it took a minute to compose myself.
"You didn't do anything wrong. What's your name?" I asked.
"Isabella" she said, still looking directly at me.
"Where do you live Isabella?" I asked, although I already assumed she was homeless.
"Nowhere" she answered. "I was at the shelter, but someone accused me of stealing her belongings and I was kicked out" she said with a sigh.
"Come with me" I stated, surprising myself. But the biggest surprise was that she got up. I knew I needed to explain to her what I was planning.
"I can't just leave you out here in the cold" I began. "I would like it if you would stay in one of my guest bedrooms for tonight. I swear to you that I will not do anything to hurt you. Do you trust me Isabella?" I asked.
"Yes" was her response.
We walked silently to my car and I opened the door for her. Once we got in the confined space, I could tell it had been a while since she was able to shower. I knew I had to get her cleaned up, fed, and rested. All I wanted to do in the moment was take care of this chocolate eyed beauty and protect her from the world.
The 20 minute ride to my condo was done in silence. I was questioning my own motivations for bringing her back to my apartment. Of course, her seemingly natural submissive personality was so attractive to me as well as those eyes. However, this young woman was fragile and I had to tread carefully. The last thing I wanted to do was take advantage of her, ok maybe a little, but I wanted anything that transpired to be completely consensual. As much as I wanted her, knowing nothing about her, I wanted her to want me more.
She stayed quiet until we walked into the condo.
"If its o.k with you sir, may I use the restroom" she asked.
In that moment, I could have cum in my pants. In the light of my apartment, even in her dirty clothes and smudged face, I could see how incredible beautiful she was. Not only was she beautiful, she had just asked me permission to do something in my home.
"Of course, you can. I'll grab you some towels and clothes so you can shower as well" I told her.
She put her head down in embarrassment.
I gently titled her head up and said "don't be embarrassed, I just want you to be comfortable"
I showed her where the guestroom or submissive room that she would be using. I told her she was welcome to anything in the bathroom and the few items of women's clothing in the bedroom dresser.
"Take your time Isabella. Let the hot water relax and warm you up. I'll get started on making you something to eat and then you can get some rest"
While she showered, I thanked the lucky stars that I'd taken that walk today because it seems as though I had met my brown-eyed angel.
About a half hour later she walked into the kitchen, where I had placed a hot bowl of vegetable soup and some warm bread and fruit juice. She smiled at me and she looked so gorgeous. He skin had a glow to it and her damp hair was waist length and beautiful. She had chosen some blue yoga paints and a yellow tshirt. She didn't have on a bra so the wetness from her hair soaked the shirt and I could see the perfect outline of her nipples. She had a very tiny waist, pronounced hips, and her breasts appeared to be about a B cup, enough for a wonderful handful. Isabella was sexier than words could ever express.
Before I could visually assault her longer, I asked her to sit and eat.
"Thank you for your kindness, sir" she responded. I found it weird that she never asked me my name, but I let that go for now. I didn't offer it to her because I really enjoyed hearing the word sir come from her lips.
She ate quickly and finished every bite. Afterwards, she yawned.
"Time for bed Isabella" I stated.
"Yes sir, it is" was her response.
I walked with her into the guest bedroom and pulled back the covers. She climbed in and I tucked her in while softly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Sweet dreams Isabella" I told her.
"Sweet dreams sir" was her response.
As I slept that night, I dreamt about 2 things: chocolate eyes and pink cheeks (on her face and ass).
