Title: Back Home

Spoilers: Up to the end of Spirit Bound

Summary: Some interesting conversations with his family lead Dimitri to re-evaluate his actions towards Rose.

Disclaimer: Universe, characters, Dimitri's fav meal, etc. all belong to Richelle Mead.

Reviews: Are my reasons to continue…

Viktoria

When I first came through the door, toting one small bag, Viktoria bounced into the living room and hugged me until she was entirely sure I was real, alive and sane. Then turning, her gaze swept the room as if she was looking for someone else. "Where's Rose?" she asked in honest puzzlement. Masking the fact that simply hearing her name was a hot poker unceremoniously plunged into my heart, I responded as best I could.

"How do you know about Rose?" I asked. Before I realised that I actually already knew. She had come here before finding me in Novosibirsk, she had lived with my family for months.

Not realising I had mentally answered my own question, she managed to stutter out a halting and awkward reply. "We'll she was here…before...you know…and it seemed like you two…so we just assumed…"

Obviously not going anywhere with that sentence I decided to interrupt before things became even more entangled. "Is my bedroom still my bedroom? I hear I have a new family member to greet…"

"Oh…yeah. Well you know your way around (insert grin) and our little addition to the family is in the kitchen, no doubt hurling food at his mother" she ended with a smile, but I could tell something was bothering her.

"I…umm…actually have to go out now. I'll seeya at dinner?" she excused herself from my presence and went to grab her bag.

"'Kay, seeya then."

The same sense that something was bothering Viktoria persisted throughout dinner. When it was over we both excused ourselves at the same time. I followed her up to her room.

"So, what did you do today?" I asked casually, hoping to gently steer the conversation towards what I wanted to know. Once upon a time I would have used a more direct approach but that was too much like…somebody else I knew.

"Oh, I was actually on a, err, date."

"Come to your senses about Nikolai then, I see." It was on old joke between us. She would only see him as a friend no matter how much he adored her. I didn't expect to see her face fall. "What is it?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"Well, Rose teased me about that all the time." Another hot poker in my heart. "We had a bit of an argument before she left."

I was caught completely off guard. Torn between avoiding the pain it would inevitably bring, and finding more about Roza, I caved. "What did you argue about?"

"It's stupid really. She stopped me from doing something really stupid. But I got a little pissed at the time. That was the night she left."

Of course my Roza would go protecting Viktoria. Probably guilty for my death. My train of thought was interrupted when Viktoria asked me the question I really didn't want to answer. "Why didn't she come with you?" Not tip-toeing around the subject. "We thought that, now you're back, you two would be…back."

"I…after what I did…" I didn't get a chance to continue.

"She's angry at you? That wasn't your fault, I thought she would see that. Maybe you should have tried harder." I loved my sister dearly but sometimes she was way off the mark.

"No, after I was brought back, after all I had put her through, I don't deserve…" Again I was cut short by my little sisters need to get a word in. However, these next words were delivered with a tone that implied extreme disapproval.

"What did you do?"

Finally daring to look her in the eye I told her: "I told Rose that love fades…and that mine had."

I was so completely unprepared for what happened next that I had no time to stop it. She slapped me. Hard. I had had (many) worse blows in my time as a guardian, but the fact that it came from my own sister stung. Literally and figuratively. Following that she promptly said "I love you, but sometimes you can be an idiotic bastard." Then with a haughty air she must have picked up in my absence, one that reminded me of Rose, she walked down the hallway. Slamming her door for dramatic effect.

Paul

With my duties as guardian keeping me away from home for the last few years, I'd had no time to see Paul grow up. He had suddenly transformed from an uncoordinated, uncontrolled infant into a young boy who was all too eager to help, get in the way, or eat. It was over one of his many daytime snacks he simply asked. "Do I get to see Rose again?" Having gone at it with Viktoria I hardly wanted to argue with my nephew too.

"Probably not" I told him in simple terms and left the room. He followed.

"Why not?" he queried, at this age knowing nothing of tact.

"She doesn't have a reason to come here."

"Mama said you were going to be friends again now that you weren't dead. She said you'd do anything for her before, but now you'd die for her."

It was no use telling him I would have died for her before, and still would, but we couldn't be 'friends' again because I didn't deserve her. I sat in silence until he went to find more cheerful company.

Olena

One day I walked into the kitchen to find my mother baking my absolute favourite food. With no need to ask what she was doing I sat down at one of the kitchen tables and relaxed.

"Did you have a nice day?" she asked to stir up conversation as she wove her way around the kitchen.

"Yeah, visited the school, did some instruction, really basic mentor stuff really." It wasn't the first time I had mentored somebody.

Almost as if sensing the melancholy path my thoughts were taking, she quickly changed the subject. "All this to avoid doing housework. Returning to bad habits I see."

"I never avoid housework." This was true, in a manner of speaking. If asked to do a job, I would do it no questions asked. The difference was I wasn't always around to ask.

"It's nice having a full time helper around the house again" she stated. Realising who she meant by this she blurted out the first excuse she could manage. "With Viktoria back at school…"

I knew what she meant. She knew I knew what she meant. Her looked softened as she came to give me a kiss on the cheek and whisper in my ear "We will always love you" before returning to the oven to see if the food was done.

Yeva

My grandmother had always been an intimidating woman, especially when angered. She was angry with me now, I just didn't know why. "Why is Rose not with you?" my grandmother had also never been one to dance around a point.

"I don't deserve her." I stated yet another time. If she wasn't going to tread lightly, neither was I.

"Yes, you are correct." It was a relief for someone to share my beliefs.

"You are far too selfish for her." My jaw dropped.

"What"

"You are far too selfish to deserve her."

I was completely lost. Ever since my conversion back into a Dhampir I had been wallowing in guilt and sadness for what I had done during the months I had been a Strigoi. I had not once though that I was selfish.

"How…how am I selfish? It is best for her to stay away from me!"

"No. It is best for you for her to stay away."

"How!"

She looked at me with wisdom beyond her rather long years. Something in her eyes told me she knew a lot more than she was willing to share. This was one of the times she reminded me of Rhonda, the fortune teller at the Royal Court. This was one of the times she was connected to something greater.

"If she is not with you, if you do not have to face her every day, you don't have to live through the memories of what he did to her. You don't have to accept the fact it was not you who committed the atrocities you blame on yourself."

Yeva had never coddled me. She had never been doting or indulgent. But, she had looked after me. She had hardened me for the world beyond my school. She had dealt out hard truths. As I realised this a smug smile appeared on her face. Neither of us needed words. With a final look in her eyes and a nod of my head, I went upstairs to tell the rest of my family that I would be leaving for the Royal Court the next day.