This OS is written for the New Ultimate Taylor Swift Competition for the song The Lucky One on the HPFC. It may seem a bit AU so... beware ;)
Thanks to shiny ruby who agreed to beta this story :)
Please review ;)
Broken Dreams
Dear Diary,
Today's the first December 1995 and I believe it's the day my heart broke. Or maybe the one where I became even more determined to succeed in my life. Well, I think I'd better explain, no?
You know how I told you all about Harry Potter? Of course you don't, I'm stupid. You're just a diary. Well, he's just wonderful and sweet and handsome and he saved my life. You know Mum used to tell me stories about him, about how he beat the evil Dark Lords and creatures. Of course after I met him, really met him I realized that this wasn't exactly the truth.
I had imagined him like this kind of god, you see, cause all the stories mum told me about him were extraordinary, though I now realize that they really aren't realistic at all. Anyway I decided I would marry him when I was seven.
I always have had all of this planned out. We would go to Hogwarts together even if he is a year above me, but we would be good friends (not too good, because then he wouldn't be interested in me) and he would save my life like my very own prince. We would fall in love and get married in Hogwarts' (because it's a castle) and later have plenty of children. It would be our very own fairy tale.
Of course my fairy tale isn't happening exactly the way I wish it would…
We aren't really friends, because he only sees me as his friend's little sister and because of Tom I wasn't very integrated in my first year. That and I was kinda awestruck to finally meet him for real. I realize now that my attitude must have scared him more than anything else.
I hope that explained who is Harry Potter to me.
Well, you'll never guess what I saw today. I was coming back from Transfiguration (it was a very interesting lesson by the way) and I took a shortcut by this unused corridor and then I saw Him. The man of my dreams (I mean Harry of course). And it's at this moment I felt my heart break.
You see, he wasn't alone in this corridor. No, he was with Her. That black-haired, tall, Chinese perfect girl, Cho Chang. She was kissing him, and from what I could see he wasn't saying no. But who would? I mean, she's so perfect and everything I wish to be. She's lucky. She got the man of my dreams and I hate her for that.
I asked Luna later (cause we have Arithmancy together) and she told me they were together. As in boyfriend and girlfriend. I never thought love could hurt that much. But that made me just much more determined to make him mine after he broke up with that girl.
I went to Hermione (she's his best friend, so I figured she would know what he likes in a girl) next and asked her what I needed to change to attract him. And now I have to change my whole behavior toward him. It's not gonna be easy but I'm confident I can do it. I know my looks will help.
Now I just have to wait for them to break up.
Dear Diary,
Today is the sixth of August and I finally had confirmation from Ron. They broke up. Well, apparently she did it, though I can't understand why someone wouldn't want to be with someone as fantastic as Harry. Since she has finished Hogwarts, I don't think I'll have to see her ever again. That's a very good thing, because for one there is no risk of them getting back together if they don't even see each other, and also because I won't have to see the girl who stole my man away from me any longer.
I can finally make a move on him. He isn't scheduled to come over here for another few weeks, but from what I know he's alone at the Dursleys and they can't be very nice with him. Do you think I should sent him letters, you know, to support him? Plus he lost his godfather… Maybe he needs someone to talk to. And if that can help getting him to notice me…
It's decided, I'll send him letters. Ron agreed to lend me Pig (not that he uses him anyway) so I can now finally act.
My dreams are finally going to come true. Harry Potter will be mine.
Dear Diary,
Today is the twenty-second of January and I finally did it. We're together at last.
It was easier than I expected. Of course it helped that my brother and Hermione got together too, because then Harry was alone most of the time and I could spent time with him. When he asked me to go with him at the next Hogsmeade week-end, I felt really overjoyed, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, you know, just in case.
So I asked him this question : "Does that mean something?" Of course before I warned him that this would probably be a stupid question, but apparently he didn't think so.
Because then he smiled (did I mention he has a beautiful smile? His emerald eyes lit up and his cheeks reddened the slightest bit) and he leaned forward to kiss me. He kissed me. Kissed me. Me! I still can't believe it.
It was everything I ever dreamt of. And then he answered, still smiling with this kind of cheeky smile "Does that answer your question?" I hit him in the arm for this of course, because it's rude to answer a question by another question, but I think I stayed stuck in my own little world for a few minutes. I'll never forget this day. It was perfect. We walked in Hogsmeade, played in the snow, kissed, drank hot chocolate, kissed and visited all the shops.
He even bought me this magnificent necklace as a 'late Christmas gift'. He said that it was my 'girlfriend gift' and that I only had had the 'friend gift'. It's a silver pendant in the form of a crescent moon, and hanging from the tip of it is a small red ruby. My favorite stone. On the other side is written To my lovely girlfriend, I wish I could give you the real one, Harry.
Isn't that romantic? I'm so so lucky. Harry is perfect and he's exactly who I wanted to have as a boyfriend. My family love him, I love him and he loves me. I think my happily ever after is about to begin.
Dear Diary,
Today is the thirtieth of May 2000 and Harry finally proposed to me. So many things happened in the last years…
More than two years ago he finally managed to vanquish Voldemort. I think it was the happiest day of my life and yet the saddest because he made us think he was dead for a (too long) while. It was a horrible year too. The Death Eaters had invaded Hogwarts and life became a nightmare. We managed to create a resistance, of course, using the DA and Hermione's old mock Galleons.
We used the Room of Requirement as a safe haven for all the prosecuted by the Carrows (in other words, the Half-Bloods and the non-Slytherin) and a secret passage that communicated with the Hogs' Head to gather supplies. It was a really difficult year.
After the war, Harry was even more of a hero than he was before. He was always in the light and people scrutinized every little thing he did. As his girlfriend, I was also in the spot light. Add to that my role in the Hogwarts' resistance and my popularity was almost as high as Harry's.
I know he hated it, but personally at first it didn't bother me. After all I grew up in the shadow of six brothers so I wasn't about to say no to some celebrity, especially when it was earned.
But after a while, when it didn't lessen and even increased, when every action I did was noted and examined and exposed to the entire magical world, when every gift he gave me was analyzed (from the diamond ring, a reference to those nights we spent at Hogwarts watching the sky and the stars. I used to compare them to diamonds in the sky, and each time he told me he didn't need to look to the sky to see a diamond, to the roses he offered me for Valentine's day), it became too much.
I understand now why Cho didn't stay with Harry, why she left such a wonderful man. The problem isn't him, it's what the other made him. He is such a model to everyone that it's impossible for someone else to be with him.
"Harry, do you remember when I told you I used to think Cho was lucky to date you?" I asked him with tears in my eyes.
As if sensing something wrong, he looked at me in panic. "Yes, I do. But then you told me that you were the lucky one now."
The cafe was crowded, but when I took off my ring and put it on the table, the silence was deafening, and the 'clang' the ring made was heartbreaking.
"I was wrong. She is the lucky one." I smiled sadly and kissed him one last time before walking away, leaving the only man I ever loved behind.
And so, though it was my greatest dream, the one thing I always wanted, I said no.
Because some dreams just can't come true.
