A/N: This was originally going to be a Harry Potter fic, but then it more developed into a Degrassi fic.

Summary: Paige's thoughts during the rape, and while she dealed after Dean raped her.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fic. Characters, etc. The song is the song Paige sang at the band competition.

You took my body

And tore it in half.

Skin slapped skin, screams of pain echoed throughout the room. You entered me forcefully, not stopping no matter how hard I pleaded. You smiled menacingly. I was scared to death, not able to move, no matter how desperately I wanted to. I wished I had the strength to push you off me, maybe slap you before gathering my clothes and running away. But I couldn't even move my hand. A tear ran down my face as you thrust harder, and harder. I cried as you came. Then you got up, dressed and left. You left me lying on that bed, crying, still too scared to move. Finally I gathered myself enough to get dressed and leave.

You took my childhood,

My heart and my laugh.

The next day I lay in my bed and thought about what happened. I thought about how scared I was. I didn't want to go to school the next day. I was scared of seeing you. I know that I was being silly, that you wouldn't be at Degrassi, but I couldn't help but worry. My mom was worried about me. I didn't get out of bed all day. She brought food up for me and tried to talk to me, but I would ignore her. I didn't eat anything. I was sick to my stomach. I wanted to die. I contemplated taking my own life. I felt dirty, disgusting, soiled. I thought it was my fault. I led you on. I dressed like a slut and made you believe that I wanted it.

You took everything,

I kept to myself.

On Monday, I told Hazel what happened. She told me it wasn't my fault, no matter how much I tried to convince her that it was. She said that you had raped me. Rape. I cried at that word. How could you do something as heartless as rape? I was a virgin, and I liked being a virgin. Then you took that away from me. The one thing I was able to give away when I wanted to, was ripped away from me. By you. I thought you liked me, wanted me. But you only wanted my body, which I wasn't willing to give to you.

And now you're gone.

I'm not your poor thing.

I sung at the band competition. You were there. I thought I couldn't do it, but when I did, I felt so good. I felt powerful, triumphant. After that, I talked to Ms. Souve. She helped me press charges against you. When the judge pronounced you innocent, I felt like I had accomplished nothing. You were free. You were able to do it again. But then I realized that even though you won the lawsuit, I was the real winner. Because I had stopped blaming myself for what happened. And even though you were free in a physical sense, I knew you weren't free mentally. I knew you would have the memory of my screams of pain, and my tears as you raped me. I knew that I had made a mistake going upstairs with you that night. But Dean, you made a choice. That was enough to satisfy me.

A/N: As you can tell, I used some of the quotes and general ideas from the actual episodes. Including the third and second to last sentences in the last paragraph. Those were from the episode when she decided to press charges. I left out that she totaled his car though. I thought it ruined the effect of the story. Just remember that it happened. :) Anyway, reviews help me sleep at night!