A/N: My first Jiley ever! Well actually, I've written others. But this is the first one I've finished, and posted.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana, or any of its characters. Oh, or the song "You Were Mine" by the Dixie Chicks.
You Were Mine
I can't find a reason to let go
Even though you've found a new love
And she's what your dreams are made of
It's been days, maybe weeks since he left. He packed up most of his belongings, and with nothing but a goodbye and a hurried kiss on my cheek, he was gone. Just like he had walked in and out of my life as a teenager, Jake Ryan was gone once again. I had spent so many years, wishing we could just be happy. And I thought we finally were. Truly happy. But he left me, for another woman. And still I cling to him, just like I did when I was fourteen.
I can find a reason to hang on
What went wrong can be forgiven
Without you it ain't worth livin alone
I don't want to let him go. Because he was my Jake. I spent weeks hating him at first, because I didn't want to be the typical, love crazed, silly teenage girl, falling for the Zombie Slayer. Sure he was amazingly good looking and all, but he had always seemed so.. vain. I needed someone who could accept me. And not only me, but Hannah Montana. But then I got to know him, and it was like he was a completely different person. And now I can't imagine myself without him.
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
I've become an emotional wreck. Something I never imagined happening, but it did. I'm up at two in the morning, crying my eyes out. I haven't slept in days, although it seems more like forever. I need him back, because I need my life back. And he pretty much is my life. He's my every thought, my every word, my everything. And it's stupid that I can't just let him go. No matter how much I want to, or hard I try. I'm stuck with him, even if he's gone.
What right does she have to take you away
When for so long, you were mine.
Because he's my Jake. No matter who he runs off with, or who steals his heart. That's my Jake Ryan. And he has been since the day we got married. No one can change that. I love him, and even if he doesn't feel the same way, I always will. I know I will.
I took out all the pictures of our wedding day
It was a time of love and laughter
Happy ever after
I really thought I had my fairytale, happy ending, the handsome prince and his princess. I married Jake Ryan. And it was a gorgeous day outside. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. I remember thinking that was a good sign. That nothing would go wrong. I'm looking at all these pictures. At how happy we looked that day. And it's hard to think that all of that is gone, in just a blink of an eye.
But even those old pictures, have begun to fade
Please tell me she's not real
And that you're really coming home to stay.
Pictures don't last forever, but I thought the feeling was supposed to. I guess for Jake it didn't. It was raining the day he left. It's the only time I ever remember it raining in Malibu, although I'm sure it's happened loads of times. I remember the rain, because it made sense. That he would leave when it was raining. It was so happy, and pretty outside when we got married, and now the weather had turned. It was raining, and he was gone.
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
I keep hoping he'll come back, and tell me I was just dreaming all of this. That she doesn't exist, and he still loves me. But I suppose that's only wishful thinking. If this weren't real, it wouldn't hurt so much. And I don't know how much more pain my broken heart can take. I've tried to move on, to pretend he doesn't still have my heart. But I know he does.
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long, you were mine
But I think at the end of the day, I just have to keep it together. Not only for myself, but those around me. I owe it to them to not let this get to me. They have enough to worry about, without me being a mess. He was mine, and as far as I'm concerned, he will be mine, forever.
I can give you two good reasons
To show you love's not blind.
What hurts the most, is not what he did to me. I can deal with this hurt, this pain. It may be slowly killing me inside, but I can handle it. The thing I don't understand is how he can do it to them. How he can be so full of himself to walk away now when he knows what he's doing to them. It's clear he no longer cares about me, but they're his.
He's two and she's four and you know
They adore you
So how can I tell them, you've changed your mind?
"Mommy?"
I look down, and there she is. Elizabeth Anne Ryan, but we just call her Lizzie. And my oh my, is she ever beautiful. She has her daddy's eyes.
"Yes sweetie?" I smile at her four year old face.
"Joey's cryin' again." She sighs in an overly dramatic way.
And as I'm quiet for a moment, I hear she's right. That's my Joey. Joseph Ray Ryan. He's only two, and he was napping until now.
"Thanks Lizzie," I say, getting up to go check on Joey.
"Mommy?" She says again.
"Mhm?"
"When is Daddy coming home?"
Sometimes I wake up crying at night,
And sometimes I scream out your name
"I don't know honey." I hate lying to her, but that's the best answer I can give for now.
How can I tell that little girl; my sweet little girl, that her daddy chose some other woman over us. Over her. I can't do it. Not now.
One of these days, she'll be old enough to understand, and I'll tell her the story.
But until then, I'll carry this weight on my shoulders.
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long, you were mine
It's almost sad, that I can't find it in my heart to blame him for all of this. Even though I know he was the one that walked away, I can't help but blame myself. Maybe I wasn't good enough. I guess I wasn't. So I guess it's my fault. My fault for doing what I said I wouldn't, and becoming that typical, love crazed, silly teenage girl who fell for the Zombie Slayer. But I'm pretty sure it was worth it.
I remember when you were mine.
so reviews are love, and if i get some good ones, i might write some more jiley ;D
