ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A LITTLE BITCH NAMED RITZ.
THEN SHE DIED
AND NOONE CARED
WHY?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHY'?
WHY THE FUCK NOT?
Alright, that was going to be it, but I'll make a story 'bout it.
Start:
"I lost my panties again!" exclaimed a strange looking girl.
"Ritz, did you leave them in the bathroom again?" asked the teacher.
"Yes, because I forgot because of the orgy… I mean, because my head hurt."
"You are one twisted bitch." Replied the teacher.
"Yeah, Ritz!" yelled everyone in the class.
"Shut up! Everyone, die!" A strange man in…armor jumped into the room. He was carrying a strangled chicken. Noone looked up. He had done this every day since he had got back from the "other place". A short kid was behind him. He walked up and gave the teacher a note.
"What the fuck? That's ten late slips in three days!"
"If you read the note, it will explain."
HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU OLD FAG! I'M MEWT'S BRO, I MEAN HIS MOTHER. I MEAN FATHER! I'M DRUNK, YOU FAT BITCH!
"Yeah, but why is he here? …In armor?"
"He's convinced that chickens are invading the earth."
"With a dad like that, no wonder you're gay!" yelled three boys in the back row. I'm sure you can guess who they were.
"WAHHH I'M NOT GAY!"
Bam
Everyone stared at the strange man in armor holding a chicken and a smoking grenade launcher. Then they noticed he had killed his son. They all cheered, except a kid with this one hair sticking straight up.
"You should be sad! He gave up his world!" the bitch said. His hair bounced around.
Noone listened to him. Someone had stuck a knife into his back, and it was bleeding profusely.
Now, the door opened again, even though the door had already been hacked into 37 pieces with a dead chicken, and there was a…thing in a cloak. On it's chest was a paper labeled 'Void'. He ran inside, and two men in trenchcoats jumped out through the door. They had papers labeled Hazard 13 and Hoboslayer. They both carried odd iron bars. They grabbed Void, and beat it to a pulp, as the children watched. At last, the one named hazard ripped out it's heart, and threw it at the wall. It started sliding down. But exploded as he pulled the grenade launcher from the strange man's hand and shot it. The Hoboslayer person was eating the bloody pulp of the Void person in robes.
TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER.
Just kidding. Or am I? I think not.
