Author's note: I'm going to warn you in advance that this is going to hurt. It will be full of angst and pain. I hope very much to do this situation justice. If you or anyone you know has battled luekemia, please let me know if there are any mistakes or it seems insensitive in any way, please let me know so I can fix it.
With November looming, I am going to be participating in National Novel Writing Month and will pause this until December. Until then, I will try to update at least once a week until then.
You can come talk to me on Tumblr at booksrockmyface.
Happy reading.
EDIT: I now have a beta, the lovely LavenderVanilla. You should go read her work, she's got some good stuff going. This chapter was reposted after some of her suggestions. So it's the same chapter, but tweaked. So if you read the earlier one, you don't necessarily have to read this one, but I would love to hear what you think about it...
Catch Me As I Fall
An Everlark Fic
Chapter One
"I'm sorry." Dr. Paylor said, placing her hands on top of the file on her desk. "Neither of you are a match."
Katniss hugged her sister close and looked at her mother. Then she looked back to the doctor. "What's our next option?" She asked when her mother Iris didn't say anything.
Dr. Paylor asked, "Are there any other family members we could test?"
Katniss and Iris spoke at once
"None." Katniss said
"Yes." Her mother said.
Katniss and Prim looked over, not comprehending.
"I'm sure they may not want to help, but Prim has more family." Iris spoke it all with a touch of shame, her head was down.
"Then you should call them." The doctor said. "Otherwise, Prim goes on the national registry and we continue the current treatment."
The Everdeens left. Prim sat silently in the back. She was still in a state of shock. Katniss sat in the passenger seat and watched her mother drive home.
Katniss broke the silence. "What do you mean Prim has more family?"
Iris looked over briefly at the stop light. "What?"
"When you said it, you said 'Prim has more family,' not 'we have more family.' Why?"
Iris swallowed and looked in the rearview mirror just before moving once more. "Caleb Everdeen isn't Prim's father."
"What do you mean?" Prim asked softly.
"Yeah, what the hell do you mean?" Katniss asked, he voice closer to a scream.
She blinked a few times, looking between each of her daughters before she said, "I had an affair. It was a giant mistake, but the end result wasn't."
"Then who is my father?" Prim asked, sitting forward a little.
Iris didn't say anything else until she pulled into their driveway. "Conrad Mellark." She got out of the car and walked toward the house.
Katniss and Prim followed several moments later. Katniss wrapped her arm around Prim's shoulders. She was growing more and more frail. It had been a hard year. She put on a brave face, but Katniss knew her baby sister was scared of what was happening to her.
"You go lay down for a while." Katniss told her sister, taking her coat and hanging it up on the hook by the door. "I'll bring you some tea."
Prim nodded and walked down the short hall toward her bedroom.
Katniss shed her own coat and walked into the kitchen. Iris was already setting the kettle on the stove.
"Why didn't you ever tell us?" She demanded.
Her mother turned and looked at her. "It never mattered. Your father loved you both."
"And how are you so sure he's not her father?"
Iris let out a weary sigh and sat down at the table. "Your father and I hit a rough patch in our marriage. He took you away for a weekend to hunt. While you were away, I got bored and lonely." She looked down at the worn placemat on the table and traced her finger over the faded flowers "I went out and ran into Conrad. We had dated in high school and got to reminiscing. We were both very aware of what we were doing, but we didn't stop. I felt so guilty the next day."
Katniss knew that feeling all too well. "Okay. And then what? Still doesn't prove he's her father."
"I'm getting to it." Iris assured her impatiently. "I told your father. He was angry. So angry for a long time. He slept in the other room for months. When I found out I was pregnant, he changed. We started working on our relationship. We fell in love again. And he claimed Prim from the start. So it never mattered until now."
Katniss shook her head and looked away. "You lied to us. More importantly, you lied to Prim. And now she's dying and we have to go to people that we barely know to beg them to be tested. And that shrew that Conrad's married to probably won't even give any of us the time of day." She pulled three cups out of the cabinet and slammed them on the counter. "Does he even know?"
"I don't think so." Iris said softly.
"Can we call him?" Prim asked from the doorway.
Iris looked up. She had been so focused on her story that she didn't notice her younger daughter's arrival. "You can try. If Maureen answers…" She shrugged.
"A call won't work." Katniss said. She walked back to the front of the house. She took her keys, coat, and wallet and headed out the door.
Peeta. She thought as she drove. She shook her head in disbelief. She hadn't spoken with Peeta in over a year. And now she was about to break the news to him that Prim was his half-sister. Could she do it? Was this even hers to do? Maybe she should have discussed it with her mother and sister. Maybe she and Iris weren't so different after all.
She stopped in front of the bakery. There were customers milling around. And there was Peeta, smiling dazzlingly, as always. His brothers, Landon and Samuel, looked as arrogant as Maureen.
Conrad walked in with that same warm smile as Peeta. Katniss watched them for a while. Prim could have been part of that. Then she looked at the brothers and Maureen again and decided that a life with barely any money, but an abundance of love was better than all the food you could eat and new clothes and shoes every two months.
She walked as casually as possible into the bakery and looked in the display case. She felt anything but.
"Katniss?" Peeta asked anxiously.
She looked up into his face. Flashes of that night came back to her a moment. Those blue eyes close to hers. That smile playing on his lips even then. She pushed the image away and smiled. "Hi, Peeta."
"Can I help you with something?"
She opened her mouth to spill everything, but then she smiled and said, "Those cheese buns you guys make? Do you have any?"
He looked over the cases. "Looks like we sold the last of them."
"Oh. Well, I guess I should have called ahead." She glanced quickly to Conrad as he went to the back.
"I could go check to see if there are any in the back."
"No, it's fine." She watched him a moment. "Have a nice evening, Peeta." She walked out of the building and toward her car. Her keys were tangled when she pulled them out of her pocket.
"Hey, Katniss!" Peeta ran after her.
Katniss stopped fiddling with her keyring and looked up.
He held up a bag. "There were three left. Hiding behind some bagels."
"How much do I owe you?" She opened her wallet.
"No charge." He smiled again and it undid something inside Katniss.
She shook her head. "I can't do that. I need to pay you something."
Peeta shrugged. "We're about to close. Everything left gets sold at half price tomorrow and then thrown out if they go unsold. And cheese buns are definitely better the first day." He thrust the bag into her hand.
"Thanks." She unlocked her car door.
He put his hand out and stopped her. "About that night—"
"What about it?" She asked. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she just wanted to get away. If only you knew, Peeta. It changes everything.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No. Of course not." She assured him quickly.
He nodded. "I wanted to call, but you never gave me your number."
She held up the bag. "Thank you for these. I need to go."
"Wait, please let me talk to you."
"There's nothing to say, Peeta. We had sex. Once. It was lousy for both of us. We were drunk. It's time to move on."
"I wasn't drunk. And it was far from lousy for me." He watched her a moment. "Let me make it up to you. Can we go out sometime? Really get to know each other?"
"We can't." She looked down with tears in her eyes. "My sister has leukemia."
"I heard." He said gently.
She looked at him again. Should I say something? "My mom and I just found out we don't match her for a bone marrow transplant."
He reached up and wiped at a tear on her cheek. "I'm sorry to hear that."
She jerked away from his touch. "I have to go." She got in her car and drove home, watching him in the rearview mirror. He watched her drive away before he returned to the bakery. He'd probably get a tongue-lashing from his mother.
She sat the bag of cheese buns on the counter as soon as she got home.
"What did he say?" Prim asked.
"I didn't tell him. I couldn't. It shouldn't be my choice to tell him." She sat down at the kitchen table. "But he needs to know. And we need to convince him and his sons to be tested." She looked between her mother and sister. "I don't think Conrad will be a problem. Neither will Peeta. But Landon and Samuel are a different matter altogether."
"And Maureen." Iris said. "How she ever got her claws in Conrad in the first place is beyond me."
Katniss nodded. She stood and stretched. "I'm going to finish some homework before supper." She walked into her room and shut the door. She was about to get to work when her phone rang. She saw Gale's name and rushed to answer before it went to voicemail. "Hey, you." She said warmly.
"Hey, Catnip. How did the results come out?"
She sighed and stretched out on her bed. "Not a match. Mom isn't either."
He groaned. "That sucks."
"It does."
"Well, Mom and I want to see if we match then. Rory and Vick, too."
"Thank you, Gale." She looked to the door. "I need to tell you something."
"Sure."
There was silence on the other end after she let Gale in on her mother's secret.
"Say something, Gale."
"You fucked your sister's brother." Gale said with a deep laugh.
Katniss laughed. "I didn't know it at the time."
"I like to hear you laugh, Catnip." He said softly.
"I haven't done a lot of that lately, have I?"
"No." He admitted.
She listened to the murmur of her mom and sister talking in the other room. "We should have dinner or something." She said softly
"Well, Mom wants you guys to come Sunday." He offered.
Katniss smiled to herself. She loved the Hawthornes. "I'm sure we can make it. But you and me, Gale. Just us."
"Sure." He said. "I'll text you tomorrow after I get off work."
"Okay. Tomorrow." They said their goodbyes and Katniss pulled out her textbooks.
