Jealousy
Okay so I got this word prompt on tumblr so I thought I'd give it a shot.
Disclaimer: Nope if NCIS was mine Tony and Ziva would be already together.
xox
I looked up from my desk to see Tony lent against the wall talking to some blonde intern. I sighed. My chest tightened and I felt tears brimming in my eyes. Every time we took one-step forward, he just took two more back. Just after we were actually getting somewhere he went after with another blonde bimbo. We were getting closer after the bombing from Dearing, actually telling each other things, what Tony called 'post elevator us.'
I started going round to his place a couple of times a week for pizza and movie, it usually ended with me falling asleep with my head on his chest, and his arm around my waist. It was perfect. For once in my life something was actually going the way I wanted it to.
I broke out of my thoughts and let a breath out. Tony was still stood with the blonde woman, smiling that million-dollar smile that made my stomach take a flip. But not this time. This smile wasn't for me, it was for her. I quickly stood up and briskly walked to the woman's bathroom trying to hold my impending tears in. As I opened the door to the bathroom I quickly checked if anyone else was in there then locked the door. I leant against the sink with my hands and looked in the mirror. I had one single tear running down my face and I reached up and slowly wiped it off.
I felt like a fool. He wasn't mine to be getting jealous about, but I wish he were mine. I had finally admitted to myself that I was in love with one Anthony Dinozzo, against my better judgment. My rational and mossad side kicked in. It wouldn't work out anyway. Not the way he flirted with woman. I thought he had finally changed after the bombing, but it was same old Tony. I should've known better than to let myself fall in love with him, but I couldn't help it. He was so caring toward me and I trusted him with my life. But I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't stand by and watch him go after some 20 something year old whilst my heart shattered a little bit at a time. No. I wasn't going to let that happen. I put up my wall and marched up to the Directors office and powerfully opened the door. He looked startled for second then his face returned to neutral.
"I want to be transferred" I spoke.
xox
I got home that night and fell onto my couch. I had never been a quitter, always went for what I wanted and usually got it. But not this time. The team was going to be upset that I was leaving them, but at least it wasn't far. Another opening for a team on the other side of the building had become available. It was far enough was so there would be less chance of seeing Tony, and I wouldn't be sat opposite him every single day, but close enough so I could have lunch with Abby everyday and see McGee, Gibbs and Ducky.
I pulled off my boots and threw them at the door in frustration. Why did I feel like this? Why couldn't I just have friendly feelings toward Tony then none of this would happen? But unfortunately life is never easy for me. I got pulled out of my thoughts, as there was a quiet knock at the door. Probably Eliza the teenager from next-door was locked out and needed me to pick the lock for her, which happened most weekends. I opened the door and wasn't prepared for the face I saw.
Tony. Tony Dinozzo was stood there. He made my heart flutter until I realized that I was angry and hurt with him. I looked down at the carpet refusing to meet his searching green eyes.
"Hey" He whispered trying to meet my eyes, which I refused to meet.
"What do you want Dinozzo?" I ask harshly
I could see the hurt in his eyes out of the corner of my eyes. He looked confused and tired, but I still refused to meet his eyes.
"Zi, why are you leaving, what did I do?" He asked softly with hurt laced in his tone.
I sighed and left the door open and carefully walked back to the couch. I sat down right on the far end of it with my feet placed neatly beneath myself. Tony walked in right behind her and sat on the opposite end of the couch.
"Zi, please talk to me" He pleased with her
"I can't do it anymore" My voice broke in the middle of my sentence. I carefully avoided his gaze; instead I looked down at my hands, which were currently fiddling with the cuff of my shirt.
"Can't do what, Zee-vah please talk to me" He whispered as he reached across and put his hands over mine. I flinched at the sudden contact as he slowly pulled his hands away.
"I can't watch you flirt with some different girl everyday, I just. I just can't do it anymore. Every time I see you stood there with a different girl, smiling that smile you give me. I can't handle it. I thought we were getting somewhere, but I guess I was wrong. You just don't understand how much I love you-" I froze the one thing I didn't want to reveal was out there. But once I started I couldn't stop. I knew I would live to regret this but right know it didn't matter, he needed to understand why.
He was silent for several minutes, which took as a bad sign. I quickly stood up my heart literally hurting with tears burning my eyes I ran to my bedroom and shut the door. I slide down the door with my knees pulled up to my chest. I finally let the tears fall. Not caring anymore. His silence was more than enough to indicate how he felt.
It's not like I expected him to declare his love back to me but it still killed me that he didn't say anything.
I heard footsteps outside the door as he came to a halt outside my bedroom door. He knocked softly and tried to open the door which didn't work since I was sat I front of it.
"Zi, please open the door, I'm sorry for not saying anything, I was just in shock please." He whispered.
I didn't reply. I couldn't face this rejection, I had too many screw ups in my life already.
"Zi please don't make me say what I have to say through a door please"
I had to have closure. I needed to know what he's going to say in order for me to move on; through I highly doubt I would be able to move on.
I slowly got up and made my way over to the bed. He tried the door again and this time it opened. He shuffled his way over to me and sat closely against me.
"Zi, I was in shock pleas-" I cut him off
"Tony if you going to make a big speech on how sorry you are and how you do have feelings for me, but friendly ones, please I just don't need to hear that" I whispered to him as more tears made there way slowly down my face.
"No, no that's defiantly not what I was going to say" He reassured me, then continued
"Zi, what I was trying to say was that. Well. I love you." He blurted it out. I froze. He surely couldn't be saying that for real.
"No Tony. Do not say this just because I said it first, I am a big girl I can handle it."
"No Ziva you don't understand. I love you. I have done for a very long time now. I just couldn't get the courage to tell you"
"No!" I shouted
"If you love me then why do you go chasing all of these girls?"
"Because in all honesty I was trying to get over you, which didn't work by the way. I tried going back to that because I thought it would be easier than telling you how I felt and getting rejected," He whispered as he laced his fingers through mine.
We were silent for several minutes. He loved me. Everything I wanted was coming true. I smiled shyly at him.
"So what does this mean…?" I asked hesitantly
"Well…" He fiddled with my fingers
"I guess it means were together?" He asked cautiously
"Yes. I like the sound of that" I whispered
He smiled at me until his face went blank. I went into panic. What was it? Is he already having second thoughts?
"Your being transferred Ziva..." He whispered with sadness.
I relaxed as I realized he wasn't having second thoughts.
"Director Vance told me to think about it, he is not going to file the paper work till tomorrow morning if I confirm this is what I really want." I smile back at him
"So does that mean your not being transferred?" He asked
"Yes" I smile back at him.
He put his arm around my waist and I laid my head on to his chest as we shuffled back on the bed to lie down. I nestled my head in the crook of his neck inhaling his intoxicating scent. I looked up and smiled at him as he smiled back. We fell asleep in each other's arms, tears long gone from my face, now and forever.
Finally everything was perfect again.
Okay thanks for reading! I really appreciate reviews so please press that button! I'm really stuck at the moment as what to write so please send me a prompt! Bye
