Disclaimer: I own nothing. Well, I do actually own a few things (my computer for example), just nothing NCIS related.

Fears

Spoilers: um, maybe Chimera, slightly.

It was a slow Wednesday, no new cases in so long even Tony was almost caught up with his paperwork. Ziva and McGee sat at their desks in the bullpen and tried to look busy as they watched their teammate hunt and peck his way through yet another report he had put off for far too long.

All three agents jumped slightly as Gibbs slammed his drawer and got up.

"Did we get the Bat signal, Boss?" Tony asked, half rising out of his seat. His face showed his hope that he was to get a reprieve from his least favorite part of his job.

"Sit back down, DiNozzo," Gibbs barked without pausing. "I'm just going for coffee."

All three of Gibbs' agents watched him intently until he got in the elevator. As the doors finished closing Tony sprang up and walked over to Ziva's desk. He perched on the edge, "Well, I guess this means we have 15 to 20 minutes before the Boss gets back."

"No, Tony." Ziva leaned foreword, her nose inches from his, to glare into his eyes. "You still have work to do, yes. McGee and I will be downstairs working on his…" Her eyes softened playfully, as she partially turned from Tony without breaking eye contact "Hmmm… how shall I put it. His physical talents." Ziva broke eye contact to look over at McGee.

"Ree-aly," Tony's eyes widened and he gave a big grin and glanced over to look at McGee staring wide-eyed at Ziva like a deer caught in the headlights. "I do believe you have intimidated our little Probester. And you didn't even need to use some stealth ninja moves."

Tony was interrupted by the ringing of his cell. He pulled it out and checked the caller ID. "Oh, Gibbs," he exclaimed before flipping it open to say, "Boss, we got a case?"

His face got a slightly hurt look as he answered what was being barked at him through the phone so loud Ziva and McGee could almost make it out. "Yes boss…well you see…I was just about…..OK. I got it, I'll ask. Thank you, Boss." He hung up and looked at his teammates.

"Well, Tony." Ziva asked him. "Do we have a case."

"No Zee-va," Tony answered, drawing out her name, as he went back to his desk to grab a pen and note pad. "The boss said that since I was not going to be doing any work until he got back I was to go get us all lunch. He also said it would be my treat." The last was said with a wry little self-mocking smile.

After Tony had taken their orders and departed for the food leaving the other two agents alone in the bullpen.

McGee looked at Ziva, his eyes still a little wide. "Hey, Ziva," he called across the bullpen. "You didn't really want to do a hand-to-hand workout today, did you?"

"Why, McGee? Does it frighten you, the thought of getting 'physical' with me?" Ziva gave him a smoldering look for a moment before breaking into a genuine grin.

"Relax, McGee. I just said that to jerk Tony's rope, yes?"

"It's chain, Ziva, not rope." McGee corrected her. "And facing someone who can kick my butt in hand-to-hand is cause for concern, not frightening."

"Then what is frightening to you, McGee?" Ziva questioned him, her expression turning serious.

McGee got a pensive look on his face as he contemplated the question, he looked over at Ziva with a slightly suspicious expression on his face. "Are you just asking me for more ammunition for you and Tony to tease me?"

"No, Tim," Ziva got up and walked over to his desk. "It is a legitimate question, I am curious."

"Well, what frightens you, Ziva?" McGee countered.

Ziva looked away and McGee felt slightly shocked as this was the first time he could recall that Ziva broke eye contact first.

"Well McGee," Ziva finally replied, still looking away. "I am afraid of failing in an assignment I have been given. In failing in my duties. Mossad Officers learn not to fear death, just failure."

She turned back to him and leaned over his desk to continue in a low, dangerous voice. "Needless to say, you are not to repeat any of this to Tony, or I will hurt you... badly." Ziva leaned back and smiled brightly. "Now it is your turn."

"OK," he began. " I fear not doing anything." He glanced up at her confused expression and continued. "I mean, that I would not act when I should."

Comprehension dawned in Ziva's eyes, "Oh, you mean…uh you ice, no…chill, no freeze." She finished triumphantly as she got the idiom right.

"What are you two talking about?" the two agents turned to see Tony back in the bullpen with a cardboard box full of their Deli take-out. He set it down on his desk and looked expectantly at the other two.

"We were just discussing fears, Tony." Ziva answered him as she walked over and grabbed her order off of his desk.

"Oh, really," Tony said to Ziva, his eyes on her as he threw McGee's sandwich to him with a no-look pass. "And what was little Timmy afraid of? Girls?" Tony gave a sharp 'Ha' as he sat down to unwrap his sandwich.

"What are you afraid of, Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Impotence?" McGee answered for him, deadpan.

"No, Probie," Tony contradicted him, pointing his finger at him for emphasis. 'I fear…vampirism."

"What?!" burst out of Ziva with a laugh. "Vampires do not exist, Tony."

"This from the Ninja who believes in ghosts," Tony directed his comment to McGee.

"I do not…not believe in ghosts," Ziva retorted, eyes downcast.

"That's the same thing, am I right Probie." Tony appealed to McGee.

McGee was staring at Tony with a pensive look on his face, "Tony, I have a question. If you are so afraid of vampires, why don't you wear a cross, or carry a stake or holy water?"

"No, Timmy, no," Tony corrected him, shaking a finger. "I said vampirism, not vampires. I'm afraid of being turned into a vampire."

"That makes no sense," Ziva said in exasperation. "A vampire is the undead that lives forever, unchanging. You would keep that hair and those looks." She paused to look him up and down, "Nice, yes."

'No, Ziva," Tony cut her off with a hard look. "Everybody knows, vampires can't do certain things that the living do."

"I was right," McGee interrupted Tony, comprehension dawning on his face. "You are afraid of impotence."

Tony shuddered as he nodded, "To live forever looking like this, meeting beautiful women down through the ages and not being able to do anything about it." He gave another shudder as Ziva burst out laughing.

A/N: I Just had this idea and it wouldn't go away untill I commited it to paper (or electronic media as the case may be)