A/N- Hi. I just wanted to give Fanfic a go. Never done it before so cut me some slack. Also I'm only fourteen, not that that makes much difference. Each chapter is each episode starting at episode 6. I really wanted Elena to just kiss Damon as soon as she saw him, but that wouldn't be the best thing to do, so I tried really hard not to do that. If this first chapter is shit just let me know and I won't write anymore. Thanks so much for reading
Elena woke up in her room to the sound of Jeremy pulling a coffee mug out of the cupboard downstairs. She sighed and rolled over, closing her eyes. For a moment, she just lay there. She imaged it was her mother down stairs making coffee, and that her Dad was lying in bed sleeping. She pretended that soon she would get up, and make her own coffee, then talk to Mum till Dad got up, then they would all talk about school. Elena was bought back to reality when a tear slid down her cheek. Elena was surprised is find it there and wiping it away, slowly the rest of reality set in.
Her boyfriend was a vampire and so was his brother both of who were in love with her. And… she was a vampire too. She had died and come back to life. She drank blood. She had killed someone. Actually killed someone. Another tear fell down her cheek. Someone had died because of her; they no longer lived in this world. Another tear fell, then another and another. Soon she was sobbing, crying into her pillow. She was losing it. She was a murderer, a cold blooded killer.
She cried for what seemed like hours. Then Jeremy ran into room.
"Hey! Hey Elena" he said, clearly worried. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up into a hug. "What's wrong?" he said, hugging her tightly, "Elena!"
Elena clung to him, "I'm a killer!" she cried.
Damon stood in the boarding house sipping his bourbon. He bought the glass to his lips again, and realised it was empty. He walked to the many glass bottles on the table and refilled his glass. He was trying to escape his thoughts. He was trying to forget yesterday. Everything that he had been trying so hard to prevent happened. Even the thing he had wanted to happen turned out to be a bad thing. He took another sip. Elena had killed someone, and the only hope of helping her through that had died with that someone. He shook his head and downed the rest of the glass, only to pour himself some more.
He heard Stefan coming down the stairs, "At the rate you're going you're gunna get drunk", he said
"No. you do not get to lecture me. Not after what you've done" Damon said sipping his bourbon.
"After what I've done?" Stefan said, "You're the one who told her to kill Conner!"
Damon scoffed, "If you'd just told us you made some secret deal with Klaus nothing would have happened in the first place. Plus, I have every right to be mad at you. You vervained me, and stole my ring, which by the way is still covered in your blood"
Stefan laughed without humour, shaking his head "Damon…"
"Don't want to hear it brother" Damon said, turning to the fire place.
Stefan shook his head again and grabbed his jacket and keys.
"Where are you going?" Damon said twisting around.
"To check Connors grave site. Klaus thinks because he's one of the five he could have some built in immunisation to murder by the supernatural".
Damon smirked and turned back to the fire place, "Klaus thinks".
"Damon, if we want to help her…"
"See, that's what I don't get. You're supposed to love her no matter what, so why are you so desperate to change her" Then Damon said under his breathe, "I love her either way"
Damon hadn't intended on Stefan hearing that, but he knew he had when he felt a rush of air and heard the door slam.
"You go run on your little Klaus errands and I'll go check on your girlfriend then" Damon said, annoyed.
Dear Diary,
I'm losing it. I can't tell what's real and what's not. I see Connor everywhere. I can't escape him. I have dreams about my mom, my dad and Stefan all telling me they can't love me anymore and I'm scared it's coming true. Stefan's been so distant lately. I know he loves me but his love seems different. Ever since I became a vampire every one's been treating me differently. Matt's scared of me, Caroline and Jeremy are treating me like I'm going to break any minute, and Stefan is just, acting different. Damon is the only one who hasn't changed. He always treats me the same way, and I know he loves me I have no idea why I just wrote that. I really am losing it. I'm so scared I
Elena heard the sound of wind breezing into the room, only it wasn't wind, it was Damon. She closed her diary and hid it at vampire speed.
"What are you doing here?" Elena demanded. He was lounging on her bed, holding her teddy.
Damon sat up and put the bear back on her pillow. "I came to check on you".
"Well, I'm fine".
Suddenly Damon was in front of her, so close his lips almost brushed hers as he spoke, "No you're not Elena" his breathe was her face. Elena watched his lips form each word and her own tingled with desire. She stared into his eyes and was overcome with her desire. She kissed him forcefully.
He was taken aback by this sudden display of feeling but responded by wrapping his hands around her waist. She pushed him on the bed and yanked off her shirt. He pulled off his own and bought his lips to her ear, "You're a killer" he whispered. Elena screamed.
Elena looked down at her diary 'I'm so scared I'. The thing with Damon wasn't real. She leaned back against the window and sighed with relief.
She felt something sticky underneath her figures. She looked down at her diary and saw blood smudged all over the page. She screamed and jumped up from her perch on the window sill, only to see the word, 'KILLER', etched in big letters along the mirror. She fell backwards onto her bed. When she looked up the writing was gone. No blood to be seen. She put her head in her hands and just sat there, trying to pull herself together.
"Elena".
She jumped. Damon was at the door.
"How didn't you hear me?" he said, walking inside and closing the door.
"I was… distracted", she replied, her voice shaking.
He noticed the tone of her voice, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine" she answered, hoping they wouldn't live the vision she'd had earlier.
"No you're not Elena", he responded, leaving Elena with a serious sense of daija vu.
She closed her eyes. "No. I'm not" Elena said, her eyes still closed. "I'm seeing things Damon. Things that aren't there"
"What do mean", Damon asked, frowning, concerned.
"Last night I saw blood all over the walls. All over the floor. It was all over my hands" she looked down at her fingers, as if the blood would magically appear again, "And- and on the mirror. I also saw you… and Stefan telling me I was a-a murderer" her voice broke on the last word.
Damon was suddenly hugging her. "You are not are killer Elena. The guy was killer himself" he pulled away from her, hands on her shoulders. His eyes were full of pity and- was it fear? "Elena, it's just the guilt. You're letting it take over. Whatever you do, don't let it control you" she looked down a shook her head softly, trying to hide her tears, "Elena, look at me, hey, look at me". She looked up reluctantly. He saw her tears and was overwhelmed with an urge to kiss them away, but he didn't. "Don't let it take over. Fight against it. All you have to do is remember what a dick he was. He tried to kill you first".
Elena smiled softly then looked down, "I don't even know if this is real" she whispered, tears dripping down her face, and suddenly she was gone.
Damon stood there for a minute, realising how screwed he was, and went to look for her.
Jeremy sat in his room, there by Elena's request to be left alone. He closed his eyes tightly and opened his eyes moments later looking at his hand. It was still there, the symbol on his hand. Just like Connor's. He tried to rub it off, but it wouldn't smudge. Connor had told him only a potential hunter could see them, and hunters had them. Did that mean he was a hunter now? He didn't want to be a hunter. That would mean he would have to kill Elena, Stefan, Caroline, Tyler and he even didn't want to kill Damon. He shook his head and walked to his bookshelf. From the shelf he pulled down his sketch pad, and opened it to the next blank page. Pulling a pencil from the tin he began to sketch his mark onto the page.
Elena sat in Stefan's room, at his desk, breathing in the scent of the old wood. She didn't know what she was doing here. She had just run away from her room and found herself sitting here. She laid her head on the desk, then she heard someone in the room. She looked up to see Stefan standing in the door way.
"Hi" she said nervously. He just glared at her. "Stefan. Whats wrong?" she asked
"You're a killer Elena" he whispered sadly.
"No. Stefan", she protested, "I'm sorry. He tried to kill Jeremy, a-and I got so mad I-"
"I'm sorry too" He said sadly, "I can't love you when you're like this. As a vampire"
Elena choked on her tears, "No Stefan. Please!" she cried. He just shook his head. His face shifted, his skin grew darker, and he grew shorter. In a matter of seconds she was looking at Connor.
"You killed me!" he screamed.
"No! I didn't mean too!" Elena sobbed back, choking on her words.
"My children, my wife, what are they supposed to do?!" he cried
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean too! Oh god" she choked. Blood began to pour from his neck onto the floor in pools of blood. Elena feel back against the wall, had over her mouth. The pools of blood shifted, gliding across the floor, like water spilt on a table cloth. The blood pools formed a word in front of her. 'KILLER'.
Elena screamed and the words disappeared. She collapsed onto her knees and cried, head in her hands. It wasn't real, it wasn't real. She breathed deeply, in an attempt[t to calm down. She couldn't handle this. The guilt, the grief. Her emotions were driving her crazy. Was it easier with no emotions? Could she turn it off, until the grief had passed?
She pulled herself of the floor on up to the desk. She grabbed a pen and began scribbling in Stefan's diary.
Stefan stood at the place he and Damon had found Elena, sobbing as she dug Connors shallow grave the day before. The dirt covering him was now unearthed and he stood leaning on the shovel in disappointed silence. Connor was still as dead as yesterday, and there was no hope of finding Elena's cure. He pulled the shovel out of the ground, and slowly shovelled it back into the hole. He could have done it faster, but he didn't want to face Damon just yet.
What his brother had said last night troubled him. Was he looking for the cure because that's what Elena wanted, or was he looking because he couldn't love her as a vampire? I'm fine with her either way, brother. No. He was looking because that's what Elena wanted. But then again, why did it bother him so much. I'm fine with her either way, brother. Stefan shovelled the dirt faster know that he was angry. But why was he angry. Stefan slammed the shovel on the ground and punched the nearest tree. He was jealous of Damon. He could love Elena no matter what state she was in. Stefan loved her, but not as much as he did when she was human. Why was this happening? Why did Rebekah have to drive her off the bridge? Life was so much simpler before, even with Klaus around.
If Elena was still human then there would be no need to worry about a cure. He wouldn't have to help Klaus. He wouldn't have to keep the secret that was pushing Elena away from him. Damon would have killed Connor and he wouldn't be here right now hoping the hunter was still alive.
Stefan picked up the shovel again and resumed filling the grave.
Damon was still searching for Elena, when he checked the most obvious spot last. Stefan's room. He didn't expect to find her there. If she was hiding she wouldn't hide in the most obvious place, but he checked anyway. The room was empty, but wasn't in the tidy state Stefan usually left it in. One of the pot plants was knocked over, and soil was spilt all over the ground, and books were strewn across the desk. Damon walked over and picked up Stefan's diary. A note was scribbled on one of the pages.
Damon Stefan,
I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I just can't control this guilt. I keep seeing things that remind me of what I did. I'm turning off my emotions, just until the guilt goes away I trust you to bring me back. I'm so sorry, but I feel like I'm going crazy. Tell Jeremy I love him, and everyone else I'm sorry. Especially Damon. When you think it's time bring me back. I know you can. I'm going to the place where everything started. I love you Stefan
Elena
Damon groaned and ran as fast as he could to Wickerey Bridge, praying she was there, and that he wasn't too late.
Elena stood at the bridge, feeling the breeze through her hair. She wondered if she would feel this. She probably would, but she doubted she would appreciate it. She breathed deeply. This was where all the bad stuff had started. She and her parents had died here.
She breathed in the scent of the air again, and held everything she cared for close. She was about to let go, let them fly off into the breeze, when something slammed into her.
Elena found herself on the ground, the snarling face of Damon above her.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled.
"Damon, get off me", she said struggling to escape his grasp on her shoulder.
He ignored her, "Know, I thought that trying to give yourself over to Klaus was stupid and selfish, but this, this tops it", he said obviously annoyed.
Elena gathered all her strength, pushed Damon off her. He went flying to the other side of the bridge. They both jumped to their feet and snarled at each other.
"How did you know?" Elena asked.
Damon pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his jacket.
"Dear Damon crossed out. Stefan,
'I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I just can't control this guilt. I keep seeing things that remind me of what I did. I'm turning off my emotions, just until the guilt goes away I trust you to bring me back'" he read from the page.
Elena growled at him "That isn't yours to read",
"Well my names on it!" he yelled, clearly pissed off, "What the hell are you thinking Elena? Did you not listen to me this morning? You fight it, not give in the second it gets too hard".
Elena deflated, "I tried, and I just couldn't. I'm losing it Damon, and this is the only way I thought I could get it back".
Damon shook his head, "Elena, if you turn off your emotions, when you turn them back on the guilt will still be there, worse probably, cause you would have killed more people. It's just a dumb theory"
"Why are you so caught up in what I do!" Elena screamed.
Damon scoffed, "Because I love you Elena, and I don't want you to do this to yourself. Did you think about Jeremy, or Stefan or Bonnie or Caroline?"
Elena slumped "I'm sorry. I wasn't- I wasn't thinking right" a tear fell down her cheek. Damon was suddenly there, hugging her. "Thank you. For… stopping me" she whispered into his jacket.
"S'okay", he said stroking her hair. "I'm going to teach you how to handle this". He could feel her eyebrows rise against jacket, "I'm going to actually teach properly, not like I taught you at Whitmore"
She broke away from his embrace. "Please don't tell Stefan about this" she said pleadingly.
Under different circumstances he would have teased her, but all he did was nod.
Stefan stood in his room, calling Elena's cell for the fifteenth time, only to hear message bank for the fifteenth time.
"Elena, where are you? I haven't seen you all day. Call me when you get this", he said after the beep. He then heard Elena's voice at the front door. He was there in seconds.
"Elena" he said, relived.
She smiled shyly at him as she walked through the door, and Damon appeared behind her. Stefan looked at them suspiciously as he walked forward to kiss her on the cheek. Elena rejected his kiss and when Stefan looked puzzled she said, "You're keeping secrets from me".
Damon smirked, "She needs to get home. I'll take her". Stefan opened his mouth in objection, but Elena was already walking away.
A few minutes later Elena sitting in Damon's car. "So how do I control this?" she asked, "Fight the guilt?"
"Well", he replied, "You accept it".
"What?" Elena asked confused.
"You accept you are a vampire. Accept it is in your nature, and you tell the hallucination that", he explained.
Elena frowned "So, basically I just say, 'I'm a vampire, it was an accident, deal with it'".
"Exactly", Damon replied as they pulled up at her house.
"Come inside with me, help me", it wasn't a question. Damon nodded.
When they were in her room Damon sat on her window seat and watched her. Elena closed her eyes. She had killed Connor. Taken his life away. Someone was probably mourning him.
"You killed me" she opened her eyes, Connor was standing there.
She took a step back. As calmly as she could she said, "It was an accident. I didn't mean to. I just, snapped". He just looked at her, "I'm sorry I killed you". Then she closed her eyes and said the same thing to herself. When she opened her eyes the vision was gone.
She spun around to Damon grinning. "I did it!" she cried happily, "I did it!" She jumped and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him quickly on the mouth.
Elena jumped backwards in alarm, realising what she'd done. Damon bought the fingers to his lips in surprise. "You should go", Elena said in a rush.
"Elena…" Damon started.
"Just go please" she said turning to her bed and throwing her extra pillows on the ground. When she turned back to the window Damon was gone. Elena bought her own fingers to her lips, remembering the touch of his.
So what did you think? Kiss too soon? Please let me know if you hated it and if you would die if I wrote anymore :/ please let me know if I could work on anything. I have mapped put what I want to happen and have high hopes let me know if you want a chapter 2. Thank
MsDamonSalvatore xoxo
