Heh, I've found that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands. Here's my drastic attempt to get my muse back wiiiiiiith... A phantom parody! That's right, it's the truth or dare game show with your favorite phantom characters!

The rules are:

You must either do the dare as asked or answer the question truthfully (We have ways of knowing!) If not, you will be eliminated.

You are not allowed to leave the room at any time.

3) None of the dares may be impossible to achieve (Such as "I dare you
to make 1+1 equal 4&"). Also, no dares that involve death (Erik:
Awwww), getting someone eliminated (Erik: Awwww), or sexual content
(Erik: . . .).

Just keep it rated to the point of PG-13. Anything above that and you will be shot.

So now that you know the game, let's play!

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(Erik, Christine, Raoul, Meg, Madame Giry, Carlotta, Piangi and Nadir walk in. The room is spacey- The only piece of furniture is a chimney. A glass bottle lies in the middle of the floor.)

Meg: What are we supposed to do now?

Piangi: That is a quite seemple! We sit arrround thees bottle and play "speen the bottle"!

Christine: I thought this was a truth or dare game. . .

Carlotta: Who cares! Leesten to Ubaldo!

Raoul: How are we supposed to sit?

Nadir: I believe it is custom that we sit "boy-girl".

(It is agreed. Raoul takes a seat next to Christine. On the other side of him is Carlotta. She is sitting next to Piangi who is sitting next to Madame Giry, who is sitting next to Nadir, who is sitting next to Meg. Christine notices that they are missing one person. She turns around to face our Phantom.)

Christine: Erik, why aren't you sitting down?

Erik: . . .

Christine: Please sit down, Erik. You can sit next to me if you like.

Raoul: (Clenches his fists.)

Erik: . . .

Christine: What's wrong? Nothing will happen if you just sat-

Erik: I don't know how to play!

Christine: . . .What was that?

Erik: I don't know how to play this blasted game, ok? I was never invited to play your silly games when I was a boy and now I suffer because I have no idea how to play this damned game which I have no idea how I got into in the first place! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY!

(The rest of the cast look at each other, a bit in awe.)

Christine: Well, Erik. . . I don't know how to play either.

Erik: You. . . Don't?

Madame Giry: Neither do I. . . Meg, do you know?

Meg: To tell you the truth, I've never heard of this game until now.

(Carlotta and Piangi admit to there ignorance to how the game is played as well. After a few minutes, Raoul too confesses. It seems the only who has played is The Persian.)

Nadir: In Persia, it was custom that we learn to play this game in our infancy. The Shah said it taught us torture at an early age. I always wound up playing with the kahnum -.-'

Erik: (Showing rare sympathy in his eyes.) Oh, you poor thing!

Carlotta: Enough of thees! I came here to play a game and I wish to know how to play eet! If you would be so kind. . .

Nadir: Oh, but of course Senora. (While Nadir explains, Christine turns back to Erik and pats the ground next to her to invite him over. Blushing beneath his mask, he walks over and sits next to her contently. Raoul is too busy paying attention to notice.) *Ahem.* You see, one of asks another one of us "truth or dare". If the other one of us say "truth", the one of us will have to ask the other one of us a question and they will have to answer truthfully. But, if the other one of us says "dare", the one of us will dare the other one of us to do something and the other one of us must do it.

Raoul: . . .I don't get it!

Nadir: Well, how about we start then so you can see how it goes. I'll ask first.

Piangi: Nonsense! We will spin the bottle to see who goes!

Nadir: (Ignoring Piangi.) Hmmm. . . You know what? Raoul? Truth or dare?

Raoul: Uh... Truth?

Nadir: Now I will ask you a question and you have to tell the true answer! We'll start with an easy question without too much pressure. Alright. . . Who was the first person you ever kissed?

Raoul: (Eyes bulging.) That's supposed to be easy!? Well. . .

Christine: (Sighing.) Go ahead, Raoul. . . I don't mind.

Raoul: . . .My brother.

(The room is silent for a moment. Then smirks arise from Erik and Nadir. Christine eventually joins in, chuckling to herself. Erik looses control and bursts into wild giggle fits. Raoul looks quite disgruntled. And mad. Did I mention disgruntled?)

Nadir: Now it's your turn, monsieur de Chagny. Ask anyone in this room "truth or dare"?

Raoul: Alright then. . . You, monsieur phantom pants! Truth or dare!?

Erik: (Controlling his laughter.) Dare!

Raoul: I DARE YOU TO STOP LOVING CHRISTINE!

(Gasps fill the room. Meg screams. Erik seems quite calm, however.)

Madame Giry: But isn't that an impossible dare? Besides, we have no way of knowing whether or not he really DOES stop loving her even of he did!

Erik: Relax, Madame! Nothing is impossible for me! Watch and learn. (Erik gets up and walks over to Raoul.) I speak truthfully, monsieur. I never loved Christine.

(More gasping fills the room. Meg screams again. Christine looks horrified. The bottle spontaneously explodes.)

Raoul: But that is impossible! You have often made confessions of your love to her!

Erik: I would never confess anything to a book!

(The room falls silent.)

Raoul: . . .What?

Erik: You told me to stop loving Christine. Well, I hated that book. So bland if you ask me. I despise that Stephen King. And they called it a thriller! Bah!

Raoul: But. . . I meant her! (Points to Christine.)

Erik: Oh! I thought you meant the blasted movie. Silly me. . . Well, it would in any case appear that your turn is over since I stopped loving "Christine" and it is now my turn!

Raoul: B-b-but you're cheating the system! You think you're smart, mixing my words around! Why you little- GRRRR!

(Christine smiles and gives Erik a hug around the shoulders once he has sat back down. Raoul's temper grows even more. Christine does the same for Raoul. He doesn't seem anymore cooled down.)

Erik: Monsieur Piangi! Truth or dare?

Piangi: Truth!

Erik: (Deciding not to torture anyone at the moment since he is in a very good and unusual mood.) Why are you still alive? I thought I killed you. . .

Piangi: You see, I do not quite know how eet is that I'm steel alive. Actually. . . Why are YOU steel alive? I thought you were attacked by that mob! And een that one novel it was even written that you died. . .

Erik: I refrain from answering that question! Besides, senor, you did not ask me truth or dare, and I believe the rules state that you cannot ask someone "truth or dare" right after they have asked you.

Piangi: I suppose you are right. . .

Erik: You better suppose! (Mutters to himself.) IkeptyourbloodysecretsnookywookyIhopeyourhappy.

Piangi: Madame Giry! Dare or truth?

Madame Giry: (Looking puzzled.) Dare or tr-

Piangi: Ha ha! She says dare! Alright, meessus Giry, I dare you to. . . To. . . Uh. . . I dare you to walk around the room weethout your cane!

(Madame Giry looks oddly at him, drops the cane, then walks around the room in a matter of 17 seconds. Everyone looks in awe except Meg and Erik.)

Piangi: But how deed you do that weethout treeping or falling?

Meg: She doesn't need the cane. She just carries it around to whack people with. She's also very lazy. The cane lets her walk while slouching and not falling over.

Erik: I've seen her pace around the stage alone without it plenty of times. It is indeed a clever masquerade.

Meg: Wait, you watch my mother?

(Erik receives odd glances from everyone in the room.)

Erik: . . .I watch everyone!

(The odd glances intensify.)

Erik: IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT ALL OF YOU PEOPLE DECIDED TO INVADE MY OPERA HOUSE!

(Christine exchanges glances with Carlotta, as do Meg and her mother and Raoul and Nadir. Piangi is muttering under his breath.)

Piangi: EetmaybeyouroperabuteetisMYstage!

Erik: I heard that. . .

Piangi: Help! (Runs to hide behind Carlotta.)

Madame Giry: Well, I believe it is my turn to ask someone a question. . . Meg, truth or dare?

Meg: (Looking very nervous.) Uh. . . Truth.

Madame Giry: Where were you last night during practice for the new ballet?

Meg: (Shying under her glance.) I was out at the *other* opera house. . . Studying the dancers!

(A siren suddenly turns on and the house blinks black and red. Two guards rush in through the door and holst Meg up by both arms.)

Guard #1: Alright missy! You're coming with us!

Guard #2: We know what you did last evening!

Meg: I'll never tell! I'll never tell!

Guard #2: La Jammes told us the whole thing! We know where you were, who you were with, even. . . What you did!

Meg: No! Don't tell them! Anything but that, anything!

Guard #1: You're coming with us!

(Meg is assisted out of the house by Guards #1 and #2. The remaining cast members all look quite baffled. Madame Giry looks smug.)

Madame Giry: I knew it! She was seeing that horrid little boy across the street, wasn't she? I'm driving her to ballet from now on, no buts about it!

(The door opens again to reveal a woman with wolf ears on her head and a silver tail carrying a tribal looking staff with a skull atop it (AKA Me). She shuts the door and walks to the center of the group.)

WolfCloud CrimsonRain: Meg is out of the game for lying on her turn! You are the remaining contestants! You will meet in this exact same room again when. . . When I feel like it. Now go!

(The cast members happily rush out the door, shoving each other out of the way. The only one who remains in there other than WolfCloud is Raoul, staring at the floor.)

Raoul: What the hell just happened?

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Mr. Phantom Pants is © StarBlade DragonFang.

Ultimate Truth or Dare is © WolfCloud CrimsonRain (Even though someone has probably done it before).

Phantom of the Opera is © Gaston Leroux.

My Muse is © lost.