A/N: Ok! Before starting this one, just know, this is the third story. It starts off with Returned, then Consequences, then this one. I hope you enjoy the first chapter, I had to struggle to write it. Mustang was just so difficult. The next chapter was much easier. Should be up soon as well. Enjoy!
Normal is Subjective
Chapter One:
Roy Mustang was exhausted as he stepped through the large wooden door of his home. Between making sure the Elrics were fine at night and all of the paperwork Lieutenant Hawkeye was forcing on him during the day, he was getting very little sleep. He cared for the Elric brothers very deeply, but he didn't know how long he could do this. It had only been one month since they had rescued Alphonse from Lieutenant Colonel Janlin. The boy was up to eating lukewarm, bland chicken broth, and was slowly being weaned off of morphine.
Poor Alphonse, whenever he was lucid, he was crying about the intensity of "feeling." It was strange to Mustang to think of what little change Alphonse had gone through as rapid progress. Sandra Cullings, the woman who had hid Alphonse from Janlin, had said that the youngest Elric was healing remarkably quickly. When Roy really thought about it, it did make sense to consider it rapid, only one month and Alphonse was eating and trying to get away from pain medicine.
The Sensory Deprivation Tank Cullings had brought was helping as well. After a minor mishap of the water in the tank being the wrong temperature—Edward had nearly knocked Roy's head off with the automail-fisted punch—Edward had hardly allowed Roy's assistance. Of course Roy had seen Edward's amazing control over Alchemy before, but he supposed it had never really clicked in his mind. Roy had heated the water the old-fashioned way, using his flames and a thermometer. The water had not felt hot, though it must have been by the way Alphonse had screamed. Edward had simply clapped his hands, touched the water, and made it exactly fifty degrees Celsius, body temperature, no thermometer necessary. Alphonse spent most of the time he wasn't sedated inside the tank. Cullings had said that it would take time before Alphonse's body would get use to his surroundings, he would spend less and less time in the tank or medicated. Unfortunately it seemed that the Elric brothers had the same amount of patience.
Roy tugged off his ignition cloth gloves and set them on an end table. He needed just a minute or two of doing nothing. He should be spending every moment trying to find who it was who had ordered the torturous experiments Alphonse would have been subjected to, but he needed to clear his head. He sank into his overstuffed armchair and sighed. He really should make himself some dinner and check on the Elrics. He'd almost forgotten how nice silence sounded.
Silence?
He started and quickly stood, there shouldn't be silence! He held his breath and listened harder. The upstairs shower was running, Edward must have been cleaning up, but beyond that, he heard faint cries.
"Brother," Alphonse cracking voice was calling softly.
Roy started for the stairs when a piercing, fearful scream echoed, "Edward!" Not since Ishbal had he heard such a fear filled, painful scream. He took the stairs two at a time making it to the door of the study as he heard the bathroom door slam open. Edward ran dripping wet behind him, his brother's name barely a whisper, with a towel wrapped around his waist.
The colonel reached the youngest Elric first, Alphonse was shivering, covered in sweat, moaning and whimpering Edward's name. Roy found that odd; Alphonse never called his brother by name. The colonel smoothed the boy's hair back, frightened by the heat radiating off the small boy.
Edward was just a half-second behind, he stopped abruptly, flinging a few drops of water on Roy. "Al! I was only gone for ten minutes! What's wrong? What's happening?!"
"Go to my desk, Cullings' number is there. Tell her to get here, now," Mustang ordered.
"W-what's wrong?" Edward's eyes widened fearfully, "I was with him all day! What happened?" He stood frozen at his brother's side.
"He has a high fever! Get on the phone and call Cullings now!" Mustang yelled. "Edward! Alphonse has a high fever, he needs help now. Call the damn doctor!"
That seemed to snap Edward out of whatever stupor he was in. He rushed to the desk that had been pushed against the back wall of bookshelves to make room for the two small cots the Elrics were sleeping on, quickly found the number and dialed. Roy didn't pay much attention, but did take note of how much the boy's voice shook.
Roy turned all of his attention on Alphonse. The boy was obviously delirious. And from the heat radiating off of him, Roy suspected a very high fever, too high to have happened in just the ten minutes while Ed was in the shower. They needed to get the fever down, fast.
The colonel pulled the blankets off of Alphonse and lifted the boy close to his chest. He was still far too light. Unseeing, dull eyes fluttered open and a broken whisper reached Mustang's ears, "Brother? Please, help me. Please, Ed."
Roy bit his tongue at first. Then he shushed the boy and rocked him gently, "It's alright, Al." The abbreviation of the boy's name felt strange, but he continued, "We're going to help you, don't worry."
Alphonse hollow gaze found Mustang's eyes once more before fluttering closed and his whole body fell limp. Roy would have thought Alphonse dead if not for the shallow, panting breaths.
"Colonel, s-she wants to talk to you."
Roy turned; Edward was shaking, looking like a beaten, lost puppy. How often Roy forgot that Fullmetal was still just a child. He shifted Alphonse's weight and took the phone, cradling it to his ear with his shoulder, "Cullings?"
"What's going on?" No emotion, very professional, she sounded like someone who dealt with hysterical panic regularly.
"I just got home. Alphonse is burning up, crying out, and isn't responding."
"Alright. I'm on my way. You need to cool him down before I get there." She sighed, "This is going to be hard, but you need to get him in an ice bath. I'll be there soon." Click, she hung up.
Roy handed the phones to Edward and waited until the boy's back was turned to swallow nervously. A few degrees above body temperature had had the boy screaming, what would nearly freezing do? He didn't have time to think about that. "Edward, I need you to transmute the water in the tank to ice-water."
Edward flinched, Roy could almost see the same thought he'd just had run through the boy's mind. "B-but you saw what happened last time…it'll hurt him…"
No time for hand-holding. Blunt, almost cruel was what he needed to be, they didn't have time for arguments. "Fullmetal, if we don't get his fever down, he won't be alive to feel anything." Roy immediately regretted his choice of words, but Edward didn't argue.
The boy clapped his hands and touched the water of the tank in the center of the room. As the light of the transmutation began to fade, small drops of condensation gathered on the outside of the metal. Ed watched as Roy quickly brought Alphonse to the tank and hesitated. He gave a silent apology for what he was about to do, wishing there was some way to get Edward out of earshot. There was no reason Edward had to see this, but Roy knew there was nothing he could say that would convince the eldest Elric to leave. The colonel took a deep breath and lowered Alphonse in.
The resounding scream was worse than when he'd gotten home. Weak limbs thrashed, trying to escape the freezing water. Roy laid the boy's head in the crook of his elbow, using his other hand to hold the boy's body under.
Alphonse's dull eyes turned to Roy, filled with pain. "Stop! Please!" The boy whispered. Tears welled in his eyes and he turned to Edward, "Brother, please. Make them stop. Help me, Ed. Please, help me."
The lost look on Edward's face almost made Roy forget how much the frigid water was burning his hands. "Hold on, little brother," Ed forced out shakily. He smoothed his brother's bangs out of his eyes. "It'll be okay, Al. Help is coming. Just hold on."
Alphonse didn't seem to hear his brother. "They're hurting me, brother. Why won't you stop them?! Help me, Ed! Please!"
The younger Elric seemed to run out of energy then. He fell completely lax in Roy's hold and breathed in gasps. Edward stared, frozen in shock, forcing back tears. Edward needed Roy to say something, some type of reassurance; Roy wished he knew what to say. "He's delirious because of the fever, Fullmetal. He doesn't know what he's saying." Edward just continued to stare at his brother. There was a loud knock at the front door. "Go let Cullings in, Edward."
Ed blinked and slid his left arm around Al's shoulders to hold him as Roy was. "You do it."
Al was whimpering again, "Brother, please. Why won't you help me? P-please, Ed…it hurts…"
Edward leaned in, touched his forehead to his brother's, whispering reassurances as Roy rushed out to get the doctor. Cullings was about to bang on the door again as Mustang opened it. "He's upstairs."
Sandra Cullings didn't say a word. She knew well what room Alphonse was in. As soon as she was in, the questions started. "You kept him hydrated, Edward?"
"Yes, but he complained about his stomach hurting, he didn't want to eat."
"How much morphine did he have today, that is one of the side effects?"
"Only one of the pills, early this morning. I tried to give him more, but he said he wanted to try again. I told him it was too fast, but he said he was tired of everything feeling weird."
Roy turned away for Edward wouldn't see his face. He put Alphonse in a tank of ice water while the boy had no pain medicine in his system?
"He-he wanted to go outside. I brought him out for about fifteen minutes, he wanted to stay longer, but I told him he needed to rest."
Cullings gave a soft smile, rested her hand on Ed's shoulder, "Go finish your shower, I'll take care of him."
"No, h-he…"
"It's going to be alright. I know what's wrong. Go get yourself something to drink. I'll come get you in a little while." She looked to Roy, "Colonel, will you get some towels and then lift Alphonse out, please?"
Roy got the towels and took Edward's position holding Al. Ed looked at Roy one last time for reassurance before leaving and closing the door behind him.
The instant he door closed, Cullings was preparing a syringe. Roy watched out of the corner of his eye as he peeled wet clothes from Alphonse's shivering body. "You said you know what's wrong?"
"I actually expected this alot sooner. It's an allergic reaction. His immune system is working too hard, attacking itself. It's from being kept from everything in the air; pollen, chemicals, soot, even exhaust from cars. He's body needs to rebuild tolerances again." She swabbed his right shoulder with an alcohol sodden cotton ball and emptied the contences of the syringe into his shoulder. "This should help. Lay him back in his bed and I'll monitor him for a few hours to be sure. I think you should talk to Edward."
Roy finished drying the small boy, got him into dry clothes and tucked him back into bed. He was about to leave when a weak hand caught his arm. Alphonse's unfocused eyes were on him again, "S-sorry, Ed. Forgive me, brother…didn't mean…'m sorry." The boy's eyes fluttered closed and his hand fell back to the bed. Roy sighed and walked out.
He couldn't hear the shower running, but he hadn't really expected Edward to finish. Instead he heard clear choking sobs. Biting his tongue, unsure if he was doing the right thing, Roy knocked and pushed the door open without waiting for an answer. Edward was sitting, legs stretched out in front of him, arms at his sides, staring blankly at the wall, his bodying shaking at the force of each sob. Roy had seen Edward's body before, but every time he forgot just how many scars covered the small chest. Silver steel stood in stark contrast to tan skin. The boy always stood so tall, never showing weakness; it was almost frightening to see him so open. "Edward?"
"I did that. It's my fault."
"He's sick, Edward, Sandy is giving him something that will make him better. Alphonse will be alright."
Ed continued as if he didn't hear, "He was begging for help. Asking why I wasn't helping him."
"You were helping him. He was delirious, didn't know what was going on around him," Roy insisted, kneeling in front of Ed.
"That's how he screamed my name that night."
"What?"
"The night we tried to bring mom back, when the gate was pulling him. These black…things wrapped around him. I reached for him, I tried! Why didn't it take me?! All it took was my leg! It stuffed my head with all this knowledge, all these stupid arrays no one has any idea of the power I know, and I can't even help my brother?! I used it to force him into the armor. Where he couldn't feel anything for five years! Then, I get his body back and all he feels is pain?! Isn't it bad enough? I killed my brother twice! Twice! I was too selfish that night. I didn't want to be alone." He looked up, finally acknowledging Roy's presence, "I should have let him die that night. We both should have died."
"It's only been a month, Edward. We knew it was going to take time. Alphonse is already asking to go outside, he wants off of the morphine. He is getting better, Edward. It just takes time. He needs you to stay positive. Alphonse is scared. He needs you. He loves you; you saw what happened when he thought you were dead. He lost hope, stopped trying. Don't let him lose hope." Damn, that was probably the best speech he'd ever been forced to improvise.
Edward sniffled, "I need him. He's all I got."
"I know."
"I don't think I can be strong anymore. I'm scared. I don't know what to do."
Roy sighed, almost glad that the boy was acting his age. "That's why we're here. Let us help. Alphonse will get better. Give it time."
"I've already taken away so much…"
"Then help him get it back."
Ed nodded, wiping tears away with his flesh hand. "Don't tell him what I said, okay?"
Roy smiled sadly, somehow knowing that Alphonse probably already knew. "Of course."
