Nobody knows it but me

by Kelly Moreland

It took me months to feel it and even longer to admit it to myself but I miss her. At first it was a subtle ache but now it's up to a prominent pain in my heart that I feel from the time I wake till I finally go to sleep again. She means more to me than I realized, and now she is to far away to say it everyday like I want to do. Like I need to do. Like she needs me to do.

I don't understand how I could let her slip away like I did. Smart move Jacky-boy. Now I wonder if I can do anything to get her back. I know her appointment to Atlantis means a lot to her, to me too if you want to know the truth. I've never been more proud of Carter than the day she was appointed to Atlantis, but every day since then has been an increasing pain in my heart and I can't even tell anyone. Everyday I ache a little more.

And nobody knows it but me, not even Sam.