The Crossroads of Past Present and Future.
When the elements of life and death collide, we are standing at the crossroads of past, present, and future.
Chapter 1
Jacob tried to push the worry out of his mind. He couldn't say yes or no to Cathy's curious request but his heart told him to let her go.
'Are you listening to me?' The impatient voice drew him out of his reverie.
'Sorry, Ziggy. I've got something else on my mind.'
In fact, Jacob was attending to his assistant's curious questions in one part of his brain even as Cathy's surprising decision played in another part. He tried to shut off the sound of her voice imploring him to understand. Jacob could only remember how hard it had been to just smile and say 'sure go ahead' to her odd request.
'Something compels me to do this Jacob,' she had implored fighting the tears which signaled her own inner turmoil. 'I am not going far. Really, it's just around the corner, less than an hour's flight but I must connect with my mother before I give birth. Her room in Montreal is the one place where she felt real to me.'
The plea was heartfelt but the reality of letting her go tore at his insides adding more worry to this already stressful pregnancy.
Almost from the beginning, Cathy insisted that she would not accept the recommended, standard, prenatal care common in most medical practice. Lack of sophisticated monitoring had not been much of a concern. After all, he reasoned, many women gave birth below assisted by Mary and Celeste. He had weighed the pros and cons of staying within their community. A small part of him resisted the temptation to utilize all available medical assets. Respect for his wife's common sense dictated caution. As well, deep-seated concern about the possibility that his child may inherit any one of several interesting traits enabled him to give in to whatever she wanted.
Nonetheless, worry clouded his every thought. Once again, he turned to Serge Correia for advice and support. The hematologist had been extremely discreet despite an inquisitiveness, which Jacob was unable to satisfy. Ever since Cathy and Jacob had been tested as possible donors for little Mea, the head of the lab at the hospital had been curious about the strange contents within Jacob's blood. Jacob never felt strong enough to ask his father to donate blood for testing. It seemed unkind to expose his unique parent to unnecessary humiliation. As much as he trusted the kindly doctor, Jacob wasn't ready to share or explain.
Serge, ever patient, advised Jacob to allow Cathy to find her own way. She was agreeable to having her blood checked periodically but the hematologist was also aware that women gave birth to healthy babies all over the world, every day, without the benefit of modern medicine. He would alert Jacob if anything changed.
Reassured but not totally mollified, Jacob relaxed a bit and allowed himself to enjoy watching the growth of their baby. He observed its rolling and twisting movements while humming inane tunes at his wife's belly button. The final vision of the ever rising, often lopsided and delightful mound brought a smile to his face, a totally inappropriate response to Ziggy's impassioned plea.
'I don't think that's funny Jacob.'
'You're right Ziggy. What you said is not funny but I wasn't responding to your concern. I'm sorry about that. I am wrestling with a problem myself.'
'At least your problem seems to have a happy ending. Do I need to repeat myself?'
Jacob shifted his thought process and brought up the questions which Ziggy had posed. Now, the expected frown was evident.
'Are you sure?'
'I am. I never thought it would happen to me and I kind of hate to put this to you, but do you think I'm crazy?'
'No. Love does that sometimes. Tell me, does that feeling extend to her mother?'
Ziggy didn't answer right away. His features passed through a series of contortions before he sighed deeply.
'I dunno.'
Jacob could empathize with his assistant's feelings. When Mea and Cilla were bought to the house it was so easy to fall in love with them. They were vulnerable and yet so loving in response to the warmth of their new home but there was no one else involved. Jacob already loved their two main caregivers, his mother, and his wife.
Ziggy had been thrust, not unwillingly, into the role of 'uncle'. Howard Smirconish was far too old to help Reiba negotiate the ups and downs of settling in although he could facilitate her adjustment with financial support as well as the stability and safety of a home. Ziggy was the perfect person to walk the streets for shopping, to go to the school and to research programs for the children while offering his endless supply of advice. It was clear from his questions that the little girl, whose disabling birth defect had been reversed and her body miraculously revitalized by Jacob, Cathy and Holly, held his heart.
'You know Ziggy, children have a way of healing adults. I found that out when my mother fostered two girls. Cathy and I weren't ready for a family but we learned a lot about ourselves, especially Cathy. At that time, she thought herself to be an only child and didn't have much experience. From the beginning of her relationship with the girls, Cilla in particular, I could see that she would make a remarkable mother.'
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jacob relaxed. The worry about Cathy spending time with Mémé evaporated. His wife was resourceful and would be less likely to put herself at risk knowing what the baby meant to both of them. To Ziggy, he could offer little advice.
'The little girl will never have any memory of her father except at a spiritual level. If you mean to be a big part of her life make sure it is a role you can maintain and one, which her mother will support. She will see you as a father figure. How are the other kids?'
'The boy is attached to his mother. He is very protective of her. I have tried not to intrude there. He is drawn to Uncle Howie. They share a love of music, which I think Uncle would foster. I might just be a data bank for him and his curiosity. The other little girl is quiet and says very little. She will need a lot of work.'
Jacob was surprised at Ziggy's perceptiveness. For someone who grew up rather sheltered, he seemed to throw himself into the new role with the same energy and effectiveness which he employed doing work with Jacob. It's still early days in their recovery and acclimatization. 'Just play it by ear. They are safe and have lots of help to move forward,' he concluded.
'Always practical! Do you ever not have the answer to questions?'
'Yes, quite often. I just don't let folks know. There's an answer to everything and if it isn't in my head, then I have to find it.'
Personal chat time was limited in the working relationship between Ziggy and Jacob. However, they shared quite a bit of their lives in the months since Reiba was rescued from her abusive husband. First and foremost, the work they were doing at the Public Defenders office had to be completed before any personal element was introduced into their working time. Jacob had never really had a 'best friend'. In the past, he gravitated to older men whose knowledge was vast compared to contemporaries. Jacob wasn't an intellectual snob. His need for stimulation and challenge had to be satisfied. Learning was advanced in lieu of his emotional growth. Meeting Cathy opened the door to his heart and helped to accelerate his potential.
Developing a relationship and talking more freely with Ziggy gave Jacob a new perspective on his own 'sheltered' childhood. The wider world may have been challenging but human relationships, family structures, justice and fairness were all strengths he had in abundance. His appreciation for the all he had growing up was strengthened by his ongoing interactions with Ziggy. He smiled at his assistant.
'Don't put too much pressure on yourself Ziggy. I have no advice to offer other than to follow your heart.'
'Why did I know that you were going to say that?' Ziggy pulled himself up out of the chair and offered an offhand salute before exiting Jacob's office.
…
Cathy lay back on her bed. She was propped up against the pillows. A hot cup of herbal tea sat cooling on the nightstand. She could not escape the relentless mothering from Sue. Cathy smiled inwardly. Nothing in her life, before Jacob, held any delight. Her mother Lena had been more of a child/friend than a responsible adult. On her own, Cathy never met any man who had one drop of the kindness she felt in Jacob. With her newfound ability to 'dream' the past, she recognized that from birth, she was destined to not follow the path her mother took but to wait for this once in a lifetime love.
The slow climb from their simple meeting on Jacob's first day of work to this moment in time, when they would become parents, each had grown. They had proved themselves worthy of the incredible ancestral gifts that altered the course of their lives. As she patted the belly and sipped the fragrant tea, Cathy closed her eyes. She had so much insight into a lot of the past through dreams but her role in the trio, which included her sister Holly, and Jacob, was to affect the present.
Cathy did not come into the full knowledge of her own capabilities until her hands touched Reiba's little girl. Healing the defects, which rendered the child's life virtually one of isolation, opened the final door to full recognition of her own possibilities. As the days to her confinement drew closer she felt a need to explore the reasons why Lena had not been able to see her place in the hierarchy of the Lion Clan. Snippets of information filtered through some of the dream stories but there was a gap, a disconnect which she knew would be important in guiding her baby's role and function in the future.
Cathy had no issues with Philippe or Mémé. She understood that her grandparents melded their unique energies to bring Madeleine into the world. Philippe had a direct connection to the Irish heritage of Knut and Arden's child but Cathy was unsure of her grandmother's full history and whether she was directly connected to Veneranda and Theodoric. For some reason, Cathy felt sure that it was important to have the full story before her child was born. Any insight into the baby's gender was blocked at some level and the golden sheath, which covered the baby's body, prevented her from seeing more than her guides wished her to know. Cathy could find the answers if she wished but chose instead to focus on the day to day effort keeping herself healthy and well rested.
It was clear that secrecy was necessary, not just for her own protection but also for the wider clan members. Even as she considered the meaning of it all, her body shuddered with the memory of her kidnapping at the hands of Virgil. She was certain there were many more like him out there waiting. As her mother had done in some small way, she would remove anything which presented a threat to her child.
In order to prevent any risk to her baby, Cathy recognized that she had to find answers. Between her and Jacob, they had already been able to trace much of the ancestry from Egypt but the clan spread far and wide, across every continent. Many would covet any gifts that her child might possess. She sincerely believed knowledge was power and hoped to fill in any gaps by looking into the motives which drove Lena. Cathy remained puzzled by her mother's inability to sense her gifts, instead losing her power to the men who controlled her life.
In some ways, Lena's life was one that held its own strength. She was a survivor. That alone gave her daughter character traits but Cathy knew it could have been so different. She sighed up at the ceiling.
'I am coming to be with you, Mommy. Tell me what I have missed. Let me see what helped you to survive. Allow me to see the history and let me protect my child in the same way you protected me.'
….
Hélène stared at her front door. Her heart beat out a tattoo made up of nerves. Howard was coming! It had been so long since their last visit together. The months since Reiba's journey ended had been busy. Acclimatization of the traumatized family demanded much from the busy Governor. His last year in office was also proving to be one of ongoing and unexpected political turmoil. Even though they spoke every day, sometimes late into the night, any clandestine meetings or physical intimacy had been virtually impossible.
Hélène could never imagine that she could miss anyone so much. Even the years after her separation from Philippe were not as painful. Perhaps the passage of time muted the intensity of feeling, which dominated her life, back then, but Howard's endearing smile and loving ways helped to rebuild the heart that beat so strongly. She felt her being swell in anticipation, just seconds before the light from his taxi filtered through the window curtains. Hélène was at the door before the knock could echo into the silence.
His dear face, more lined than the last time she saw him, was filled by the loving eyes, which held her still for so long before she was captured in his arms. If the tremors racking his body were, in fact, sobs, it didn't matter. Their togetherness in that moment was enough.
Much later, replete from a delicious meal, they sat as always at the piano while he played his latest piece. Over the years Howard had all but abandoned his technical skills despite loving every aspect of music. Since falling in love he faithfully promised to learn a new song, which he vowed to share with Hélène at each visit. There had been lots of time to pick up any number of songs but she was satisfied with the one. As he finished the last notes of 'How Can You Mend a Broken Heart' he took her hand.
'You, my love, you and you alone did that for me. Funny thing is that I didn't even know how badly it was fractured until you healed it.'
Hélène was speechless. Howard often said things which she could never imagine coming from a man but he, in all his power and humbleness, was one in a million. Every note of the song touched a similar chord in her own heart. She knew his time was precious. She would have preferred to linger at the piano but she wanted to listen to his concerns and share a few of her own. When she stood up, he didn't hold back but followed her willingly to the bedroom.
'I want to hear about your busy-ness Howard but I also have something to share with you.'
Howard was an excellent listener. He didn't preempt her but tilted his head in an attitude of openness.
'I am worried about my granddaughter. She insists on coming here. She is so close to her time. If anything happens I will not forgive myself. I am not asking her to come but I cannot tell her to stay away.'
'She has her reasons I suppose but she seems to be a sensible girl.'
'Yes.' Hélène nodded. 'What I know is that when she gets an idea, she is immovable.'
'I wonder who she takes after?'
'Not me, for sure.'
'I am not so sure. You are pretty stubborn when you decide on something. You are an amazing woman.'
'Thank you, Howard, but I am fearful for her. Should I be?'
'My opinion?' He waited for her nod. 'From what I have seen, she and her husband are a remarkable couple with skills I can't even comprehend but they can make things happen. If your worst fear is that she will go into labour, from what I know it takes hours to give birth. Jacob will not be that far away. If I can do anything to help, you just need to call me. You know that.'
'Bless you, I do but this baby may be born with unique or unusual features and I am afraid of exposing the child to well-meaning but misguided people. And, if she is anything like me, I gave birth very quickly.'
Howard wasn't quite sure what all that meant but he smiled and held her shoulders. 'We can't problem solve the future, only the present. If and when something happens, we will find a solution. In this, I ask you to trust me.'
Hélène who had never allowed a full measure of trust with anyone other than the personal instincts which guided her inner self, finally gave into the delightful and unexpectedly releasing sense of being cared for. Not even with Philippe's generous and kind heart did she feel that sense of complete trust with another. Now, for the first time, she knew she was not alone.
