A/N: Howdy, y'all. This is my first ssb story and after writing part of this chapter in the summer with no intentions of continuing, I restarted it with a little influence from Awkward Zombie's "The Beautiful People" comic strip (since it was practically the same idea). If you don't know what AZ is, I suggest you go read and support it cuz it's awesome.
(Though I will boldly say that I wrote this idea BEFORE that strip was made, just so I'm not accused of blatantly copying it, not that I really care to begin with...)
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the act of putting this story together, and maybe some other stuff...
It was early, about 3 a.m. to be exact, and the Smash Mansion was quiet. The hallways were dark and the large group rooms were empty as each resident was asleep in his or her respective quarters. Well, most of the smash members were asleep.
A certain prestigious captain had awoken and made his way down the silent hallway his room was located in. He woke up at 3 o'clock every morning, saving little room for sleep. There was simply too much to be done in his eyes. The wood flooring squeaked under his golden greaves and he smiled upon seeing a faint light escaping from underneath Kirby's door.
"Must be finishing up a midnight snack," he whispered to himself, chuckling in the process.
His fellow smashers were strange. Nothing like the strange he grew up with in Port Town and Mute City, but a good strange. Captain Falcon was no stranger to non-humans. He fought, raced, and befriended many different species of creatures in his days, but even Smash Brothers had offered new encounters from the beginning. He still had no idea what Kirby was, but it didn't really bother him. In spite of this, he did notice Master Hand's recent acceptance of more humanoid characters.
As he neared the end of the hallway and finished synchronizing his visor with his eyesight, the last door on the right behind him shifted ajar. It was so quiet most people wouldn't have noticed, but that was most people. Captain Falcon stopped walking and faintly smiled under his helmet. He could practically feel Samus' eye piercing into his back through the tiny crack.
"Douglas?" The woman whispered through the now half-opened door space.
"What's up, Sam? I see you're up early…"
"Someone's sneaking around the mansion."
Captain Falcon always knew Samus was blunt, but she still never ceased to surprise him at times. This time included.
"Someone's sneaking around the mansion? What makes you say that?"
"I was leaving the lab about an hour ago when I thought I saw someone. I couldn't find them, but I set up a few surveillance cameras that I'm monitoring in here," she motioned into her room with her head, "and I have seen someone. I just don't know who or what it is, and I haven't been able to track them readily."
Falcon couldn't help but laugh, "Listen Sam, I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Anyone trying to sneak around Smash Mansion must want to get pummeled. You're worrying too much."
Samus gave a small grin before nodding her head in appreciation, "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Captain."
"Any time. But seriously Samus, it's 3 o'clock and we've got 1-on-1's tomorrow. You need all the rest you can get."
"Speak for yourself," she said with a stern look, but was interrupted by a yawn escaping her mouth.
"Ha, nice try. I'll catch up with you later."
"Sure," Samus agreed as she waved him off and closed her door.
Falcon exited the hallway and made his way towards the kitchen across the mansion, keeping Samus' words close in his mind. He activated his visor's night vision to help him see in the dark as he scanned each and every corner he passed. Since turning on the lights would scare the 'intruder' away, he opted for a more stealthy approach, even though stealth wasn't his thing. After trekking through half of the mansion, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, he had found no traces of anything. Ten minutes of searching went by and he arrived at the kitchen, only to see one of the ceiling lights on over a small table. The kitchen was large in its own sense, with the ability to provide food for many people at any time and speed. The smashers who could cook kept it relatively clean, and Chef Kawasaki made sure to keep the others away from the appliances. Several small tables were spread out in the back corner, while the large dining table took up a majority of the dining room outside the kitchen.
Falcon peered through the entrance and almost laughed at what he saw.
"Mario!" He exclaimed with a smile while walking in the kitchen towards the short Italian man. Mario jumped in surprise and dropped his fork on the ground.
"Mamma mia!" The mustachioed plumber turned to see Captain Falcon standing next to the table, "You-a scared me half to death-a, Capitano!"
"That certainly wasn't my intention," the racer smiled as he took a seat across from his Italian friend, "What are you doing up so early? You're normally a pretty heavy sleeper." Captain Falcon watched as Mario got up to clean his fork and return to the table where a large plate of pasta awaited him. It always made Falcon laugh that, even though Mario acted like a perfect role-model around everyone else, he was still a middle-aged Italian man who enjoyed his food every now and then. He was sure Mario took advantage of any down time he could get.
"I was-a just getting a bite to eat," he said with a tweak of his moustache, "this-a place can get-a crazy during the day…"
"You can say that again. Are you ready for 1-on-1's tomorrow?" Falcon watched as Mario almost choked on his spaghetti.
"Oh-a no! I forgot-a!"
"Well, you've got today to rest easy and prepare, so you might as well take advantage of it," Falcon calmed the plumber down, receiving a nod in response. "Do you know who you're up against?"
"Hmm…" Mario rubbed his chin in thought, "I think I'm against-a the frog…" Falcon watched him scrunch his face, trying to remember 'the frog's' name.
"You mean Greninja?"
"Yeah… That's-a the one." Mario scratched his hatless head full of messy hair and exhaled. "I just-a can't keep up-a with all these new smashers, you-a know Falcon?"
The captain frowned a bit, "It has been hard meeting all of them. I still haven't even finished studying the newcomers' abilities."
"I remember when it was just-a us twelve. It was-a much easier." Mario had already finished his pasta and was now leaning back in his chair.
"Those certainly were the days. Heck, I still remember all your fighting styles like the back of my hand, but I guess with new members comes new opportunities."
"I suppose-a you're right," Mario rubbed the back of his neck with a dazed look on his face, "It's-a just hard to see so-a many pretty ladies…"
Falcon let out a laugh and stood from the table, "You should probably get back to sleep Mario. Got a lot of stuff to do before tomorrow."
"Mmm-hmm. So long, eh Falcon?" Mario got up and headed towards the exit.
"Oh, one last thing Mario. Samus said she saw someone sneaking around the mansion. Whether it's one of the smashers or someone else, keep an eye out."
Mario raised his eyebrows in surprise before nodding and exiting the kitchen. He knew someone sneaking around the mansion wasn't much of a threat, especially when Bowser was in close proximities to Peach on a regular basis. If Samus and Falcon weren't worried about it, then neither was Mario.
Captain Falcon decided to head to the garage and tinker with the Blue Falcon to pass some time. He normally hit the gym and began training early on, but settled against it today. Turning the kitchen lights out, he left and made his way to his designated garage in Smash Mansion.
Frequency 140.85
[CALL]
~Ring~Ring~
"Snake, come in. Are you there?"
"Right here, Colonel."
"What's your status?"
"Well, I had a look around the mansion and I'm laying low for the moment. Looks like they had a few renovations done since the last time…"
"That's no surprise, Snake. Master Hand had to make room for all the newcomers after all."
"Hmpf, I guess you're right. Can you get a scan of the interior?"
"Negative, Snake. As expected, there must be some type of barrier that prevents any outside transmission. I'm afraid I can only listen to you."
"That's too bad. If I remember correctly, I should be near the hangar bay and garage area. Let's just hope I don't run into any unfamiliar faces."
"That's why you're here, Snake. That said, getting discovered by a smasher is better than getting discovered by Master Hand. The minute he's aware of your presence you're as good as gone."
"Don't worry Colonel, I've got some inner connections I can work through. I think we'll have to leave some of the dirty work to some old coworkers this time."
"I hope it's as easy as you make it out to be. Be careful, Snake. Everyone in this place is just as competent as you are, remember that."
"Apparently so, but we'll just have to see about that. As you've always demonstrated, experience is a priceless trait."
"That it is, and from what I've gathered from the others, few have you beat in that category."
"…Someone's coming. It's time for me to make my first move, Colonel."
"Good luck, Snake."
140.85
[EXIT]
Captain Falcon turned on the lights and stepped into his section of the smash mansion garage. Most of the vehicles were stored here, ranging from a few Arwings, a motorcycle, some Koopa clown karts and many other ships including the Blue Falcon itself. While massive cruisers like the Halberd and Great Fox clearly couldn't fit, Samus and Olimar managed to squeeze their ships in, though Falcon opted to keep his Falcon Flyer out. The pilot had always parked his F-Zero machine on the far side of the hangar with considerable distance between the next machine. At first glance, most thought he was obsessed, but the veterans soon found out what the Blue Falcon truly meant to him.
Grabbing a cloth to clean the cockpit windshield, Falcon walked over to his machine before noticing a large, cardboard box off to the side. He walked up to it in disbelief and wasn't sure whether to laugh or worry. Falcon kicked the box over with his foot, knowing better than to expect someone under it. The racer stood silently for a number of seconds before swiftly spinning around and blocking an incoming punch with his forearm.
"I was expecting a flaming uppercut. Glad I was wrong."
"And I was expecting a snapped neck. Glad I was wrong."
The two heroes lowered their defenses and shook hands with enough professionalism and manliness to shake the very foundation of the building itself. Snake lit a cigarette as Falcon tossed his clean rag to the side.
"Just the man I wanted to see. How the hell are you, Falcon?"
"I'm doing okay, though I certainly didn't expect to see anyone here, no less you of all people."
"You did a nice job of finding me out. Good to know you're as aware as ever." Snake congratulated, taking a long drag from his cigarette.
"I had a little help actually. Sam thought she saw someone and decided to monitor some of the mansion's cameras."
"Heh, that explains it. Nothing ever gets past her."
"Don't give her all the credit. I'd be a sorry excuse for a racer if I couldn't notice you."
Snake couldn't help but frown, "And here I thought I was one of the best in my business. You make me sound like a rookie."
Falcon smirked and went back to grab another clean cloth. "You know we're all on even playing fields here," he said before finishing up his windshield. "So Snake, why are you here?"
The middle-aged spy smiled, "Well I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by."
"At 3 a.m.? Master Hand's not gonna like this; you know you're not necessarily 'welcome' here."
"Master Hand can come and face me I he's got such a problem with it."
Falcon shrugged off his obvious response, "You also said you wanted to see me? What for?"
Snake put his hands up in defense, "A guy can't want to see his old smash buddy?"
"One sec," Falcon grabbed his gun from his holster and shot the camera in the top corner of the garage, breaking it into pieces. "Just in case."
"Good thinking."
The captain finished polishing is cockpit and threw the dirty rag with the other used ones. "Care to explain yourself? I doubt you'll get another chance when I'm completely alone."
Snake dropped his cigarette to the floor and crushed it under his boot.
"Alright, Doug, hear me out..."
Dun, dun, dun...
Let me remind you that this isn't a serious story, but I'm sure you'll realize it next chapter.
Happy late New Year!
