Sunday morning. Dad's grinning around the kitchen making another raring batch Johnny Cakes.
"Here ya go my little college sophomore! A hearty Civil War breakfast to start the year off right!" He plops a plate of uncooked batter and rubbery bacon in front of me. There is not enough pizza in the world to take away the taste I'M about to indore.
"Um...I'll save some for the Calverley," I say, pushing it forward. Mom walks in kitchen clutching her brief case.
"Wish I could stay, BIG partners meeting!" she exclaims, passing the stove.
"JAKE! This again? Can't you for ONCE serve something decent to the girls!"
"Why should I when you're never here to EAT any of it! Always running off to help HIM! ALWAYS FORGETTING about poor-old Jacky!" Batter flies off the whisk as dad dramatically flips it around.
"Well I'm SORRY! But the big trial is coming up and Eric needs all the help he can get!" I spot Quinn fumbling to her seat through the impenetrable breakfast battle, not even caring that something might stain her 'sleepwear.' Her eyes are unmasked from her usual thousand pounds of Avon products and her hair is unbrushed. This has got to be good.
"And what happened to you? Did fun fur come back in style?" She groans, looking at me as she clasps her hands onto her temples.
"EWWW! Daria! Don't joke like that! I'm already sick as it is!"
"Oh really? Could it have anything to do with that free 'Music Lesson' you claimed to have last night?" I say, making sure to emphasize the words Music Lesson.
"SHH! Mom and dad'll HEAR you!"
"What? Free music lesson?" Mom turns her head to Quinn, hands on hips "Who teaches a FREE MUSIC LESSON on Saturday night! Jake, did you KNOW about this!"
"Way to go Quinn! My Daughter the Musician!" Dad beams at her, "Ya know I wanted to learn an instrument once. But NOOOO your grandfather wouldn't let me! Said that's what GIRLS do while waiting for a HUSBAND!"
"JAKE!"
"Sorry! So kiddo, what instrument did you pick?" He asks with a firm pat on her back.
"My guess is the Skin Flute."
"DARIA!"Quinn's gasps as our mother's eyes widen in shock.
"Quinn! No!"
"Did you HEAR THAT Helen! The Skin Flute!"
"JAKE! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS!" she freaks. Dad looks at her, growing scared from the way she suddenly zoned in on him.
"Um...a special flute from Africa?"
"JAKE!"
"What? What'd I say?" Mom grabs my sisters hands and sternly leads her out of the room. My chest bursts with tension as I try to suppress my laughter. I take a bite of semi-cooked Johnny Cake and smile.
"Better refuel for battle."
"Now THAT'S the Spirit Daria!" Dad starts marching along the kitchen as he hums the Union Army Anthem.
"Thine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord...Say! I wonder if Quinn can play THAT on the flute! HA-HA!"
La-la-LA-la-la.
