"She's not really dead. She can't be," I commented to no one in particular as I fast-forwarded through the commercials. My parents had finally sent me the last part of the season finale of Farscape, and I had never really thought about them killing off any of the main characters. Except Scorpius. Come to think of it, hadn't Scorpius already died two or three times already in the season finale? The show came back on, and I watched intently, sure that Crichton or Crais would find a way to save Aeryn. They didn't. And later on, I discovered that Scorpius was alive again after all.
That got me mad. I paced. I seethed. I even nearly cried. Finally, I turned my anger towards my TV and punched through the screen. I felt an electric current course through my body, saw but did not hear the explosion.
When I next opened my eyes, I was in a black room that seemed to go on forever, with no walls and no furniture of any sort. Some kind of light shone on me, from where I don't know, bright enough to illuminate but not to blind me. "I'm dead," I whispered, then gritted my teeth in annoyance. "Darn temper."
"It can get you in trouble, can't it?" came a teasing voice. A man stepped out of the shadows, but I already knew who it was.
Suddenly a sword appeared in my hands. "You read my mind," I thought aloud. "A bit medieval, but . . ." I looked up at Scorpius, who had an inquisitive look on his face. I narrowed my eyes. "Think you can get away with killing Aeryn, huh?"
"Why, I don't know what you're talking about." He was aggravatingly polite.
"Well, the you in Crichton's head killed her, and that's close enough." I swung, intending to decapitate the creature. Instead, the sword bounced harmlessly off of Scorpius' neck.
"What a shame," he chided.
I growled. Then I noticed that a new weapon had appeared at my feet. I discarded my sword and wielded the lightsaber.
"I hate to point this out," said Scorpius evenly, "but this is a Farscape fanfic, not a Star Wars one."
"Who cares? It'll cut through anything." And cut through Scorpius it did. But his wounds immediately healed themselves.
I flung the lightsaber away, this time completely enraged and determined to succeed. I looked around for my next weapon. "Aha!" I yelled when I caught sight of it. "A hydrogen bomb! You'll never survive the explosion!" I somehow rigged it to explode, quite a feat since I am far from a physicist.
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I once again sat beside my TV, watching the closing credits for the Farscape finale. The screen had not been smashed in, but somehow I had managed to doze of for a few seconds after the show had ended. "Well, that was a waste," I mumbled, referring the finale. "But at least I got to kill Scorpius in my dream."
"No you didn't," came the all-too-familiar voice.
I jumped up and did a 360, finally seeing Scorpius' face on the TV.
"You can never kill me." He grinned.
I scowled, then shrugged. "Yeah, but at least I can shut you up."
Scorpius opened his mouth
to say something, but before he could, I unplugged the TV. Victory
at last.
