One-shot donated to Fandom Fights Hurricane Sandy.

Thanks to tawelephant and diavoloduchessa for beta'ing at the last minute!

Banner (link on profile) artist: FemmeCullen

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: Edward meets the woman of his dreams on the internet, or at least who he thinks is a woman. The internet lies, after all. How will Emmett get out of this one?


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"Bella, please," he begs, his bottom lip puckering out in a pout.

"No."

"But, but—"

"I'm not going to help you cheat someone, Emmett."

"It's not cheating!" Bella narrows her eyes at him, and he looks down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs together. "I'm going to tell him. I want to tell him…soon. I'm just afraid of his reaction," he replies softly, his voice so low that she's straining to hear his words.

She sighs. It's not entirely Emmett's fault that "EACheer" turned out to be male, but he shouldn't have assumed the Naughty Tête-à-tête site only had women as members. She's sympathetic for him, but poor "Eddie" is the one who is being deceived. And her, since Emmett used her name as his.

"Go on one date with him. Please. For me."

"Em…"

"I really don't want to lose him."

"Okay, first, I don't even know him. He's going to expect me to after we apparently had a two month relationship. And two, I thought you were crazy after Rosalie!"

"I am! Or I was. I don't know," he whines. "He doesn't know much, or anything about me, really. And if you do this for me, I'll get Jasper to ask you out on a date."

Her cheeks burn. She doesn't need her brother's help in securing a date for prom, thank you very much.

He's giving her that kicked-puppy look, and she's having trouble saying not to him. He's her older brother, after all. He had been there for her when boys would pick on her because Renee cut her hair too short in Kindergarten. He had stood in front of her like a wall when Uncle Phil drank too much and needed a punching bag. He had even endured teasing in high school as a junior because he'd preferred to hang out with his freshman sister rather than with the football players.

"One date. One date, Em. And if it's a complete disaster, you take responsibility."

He clasps his hands together, a Cheshire grin on his face.

"I'll pick out your dress!"

"Dress?" Her shocked voice isn't heard as Emmett bounces on his feet towards her room. She hasn't seen him this happy for awhile. He'd been pinning after Rosalie, a student teacher in his Chemistry class, but her lack of attention to him made his ego deflate. She's seen him glued to his phone for the past few weeks, but she never would've guessed he had an online relationship.

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The dress is too short. The straps are digging into her skin and the hem of it is barely grazing her thighs. This isn't what she had in mind. Emmett is sitting on the booth behind her, softly humming.

"What does he look like?" she mutters out to him, hoping he'll be able to hear her.

"Green eyes and red hair."

It's finally setting in; she's here to meet a complete stranger, who will be expecting her to know him because of their "two month online relationship." She wants to back out of it, but Emmett's giddiness halts her train of thought. She can do it…for Emmett, she will do it.

She picks at her fingernails, glad she hadn't put on any nail polish. It would've chipped by the excessive nail biting she'd been doing for the last two days.

Two days. It had taken Emmett two days to put together an entire outfit for her. Her dress, hair, makeup…it all seemed much too fancy for a small coffee meeting at the only café they had in this small town.

She glances at the big round watch above the entrance of the 80s styled café. He's running a bit late; punctuality is a never a bad thing. It's annoying her a little.

She keeps her head low. In a place like this town, nothing is ever a secret. She doesn't want her parents to find out what's going on tonight; not only would that make the situation complicated, but the truth about her helping Emmett's lie would only serve to make her parents disappointed.

It's all Emmett's fault, she consoles herself. All his fault.

A jingling sound rings throughout the nearly empty café as the front door opens. Her eyes dart to the tall figure, clad in a button down white shirt and jeans that are hugging his thighs.

Her mouth waters, annoyance forgotten.

Thighs…

She'd had this insane obsession with thighs after seeing Jasper's wrap around her legs when she'd taken a fall in P.E. Those pale, muscled legs…

A throat clearing breaks her out of her Jasper-induced haze. She comes to realize that she's looking directly at his crotch. She mashes her eyes shut, willing for a hole to open up and swallow her.

When she can gather up some courage to look at him again, the only thing she can think of is that Emmett lied. Eddie doesn't have red hair; he has this really pretty penny colored hair that strongly contrasts with his pale skin. And his eyes, those really green eyes…

And he's really handsome too. She not too fond of his name, but he's pretty to look at.

His soft looking pink lips are turned up into a smirk, and she realizes he's waiting for her to say something.

"Did you know both beer and vaginas have an average pH of 4?"

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Stupid fact-y brain.

She can hear Emmett snickering as she feels the tell-tale burn of blushing spread across her neck and chest.

"That's the best ice breaker I've ever heard," Eddie says, sitting down across the booth from her. She does not share in his mirth, but his jade colored eyes are enchantingly disarming. She'd have to watch out for the rest of the evening; she'd probably give him anything he'd ask for if he locked his gaze on her….

Hello, nerves.

He folds his hands, his long and nimble fingers clasping over each other. "I'm sorry I'm late. My mother wouldn't let me slip by." His chuckle eases his statement.

"You live with your mother?"

Emmett coughs, reminding her she shouldn't be asking anything. All she has to do is sit and look pretty—per Emmett's instructions.

Eddie gives her a strange look. "No. I'm just staying with them while I'm in Forks, like I'd said in the last text."

"Oh…" she drawls out, biting down on her bottom lip. I hate you, Emmett.

He leans towards her, his expression softening. "Relax. I know you were nervous about meeting me, and I'm really, really glad you decided to…but I can understand, okay? I've told you..."

It's as if he's having a one sided conversation; she doesn't know what Emmett and him have talked about, nor any information on what he does, what he likes. The only thing she can deduce from his words is of Emmett's nervousness about meeting in person.

She has nothing to say after his confession, and the silence is deafening. They're both looking at each other before they avert their eyes, thumbs twiddling. Constant repeat.

"Anything to drink?" Saved by the server.

"Coke, no ice."

"Same," he responds.

She rubs her hands together, completely lost not only by Emmett's silence, but also Eddie's gaze on her. It's so intense, as if he knows her enough to pick her apart and put her back together again. When she does catch his eyes, it's as if he's pulling her towards him. She leans towards him unconsciously, but as the sound of glass making contact with the table pulls them out of their own bubble. She reasons with herself that he's looking at her like that because he knows Emmett…and he thinks that she is Emmett.

Coke…yeah, that would be the easiest cowardly way to get away from his stare.

"Ask him how long he's staying," Emmett whispers to her.

Eddie's head tilts sideways, his eyes glancing behind her, and in a moment of panic to conceal her brother, she grabs his hands, startling as static passes through her. Her hands are probably cold from the coke glass.

"How long are you staying in Forks?"

"A day or more. Depends."

Her brows furrow. "On?"

"On the city…the people." He's staring at her again, in a way that sends shivers down her spine. It's the look he's giving her. There's a mixture of surprise, and a sparkle that makes her think he likes what he sees…and longing.

Is it hot in here?

It makes her simultaneously want to push her boobs together to form the cleavage she doesn't have and jump up from the booth to point accusingly at Emmett. She gulps down her coke instead.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"How long are you here for?"

"Until I graduate," she mumbles out before her brain can catch up.

Crap

"Graduate?"

She stalls a bit, wondering whether or not she should tell the truth. On one hand, she's already deceiving him, so a few more lies added onto that wouldn't be so bad…but he drove all the way here from wherever he was before just to meet her—to meet Emmett. She shrugs to herself mentally, deciding to go with whatever comes to her mind; she'll just ignore Emmett and blame everything on him if it goes wrong.

"I'm graduating from Forks High in two weeks." The grin on her face is entirely forced.

He chokes on his sip, coughing furiously. Bella's eyes widen, and she jumps out of her seat to slap him on the back.

"I'm eighteen, I swear!" She doesn't notice in her panicked state that he's stopped coughing, and is just breathing, his eyes perfectly proportioned to look right at her chest.

But then she does notice, and he notices, but he's perfectly comfortable, grinning. She plops down next to him, covering her face with her hands.

She's always been the awkward one amongst her friends; while they care about saying the right thing, being in the right crowd, she is perfectly happy to hang out with anyone who will understand her perverted jokes and wouldn't mind her randomly listing incidental facts. The good side of that allows only close friends for her, without any two-faced liars who would smile at her but talk behind her back. The bad side is that she doesn't have much experience talking to the other gender, nor with anyone outside of her friends. It has left her slightly socially inept.

The only experience she's had was with Jasper, and that too, only escalated when they'd both been drunk. He'd never looked at her that way—the way Eddie had looked at her.

Speaking of him…

She peeks a glance at him from between her fingers, smiling nervously.

"It's okay," he starts, and somehow, it makes Bella feel as it will be okay. "And Bella, I happen to love beer."

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The next few days are followed by a constant stream of text messages. He's been busy with his mom, and she's been busy trying to stop herself from liking him. She can only like him as a possible brother-in-law, and that makes her a little sadder than she wants to be.

She also may or may not have lied about dropping her cell phone in the road to replace Emmett's number with hers. She would play the part Emmett had bestowed on her perfectly.

No phone calls, because apparently, Emmet didn't like them. Something about words being more passionate, and the fact that Emmett couldn't do a girly voice to save his life. Bella had been too busy swooning at his subtle compliments to pay much attention to anything Emmett related.

Well, except for the giant foot that had been poking at her calf. She smacks his leg, wincing at the sting in her hand.

"You stole him from me," Emmett whines.

"I did not," she tells him defensively. "I keep telling you to tell him."

"I don't see him!"

"Then let me tell him!"

He looks at her, his eyes wide, as if she'd just suggested he cut off both his nuts. "No," he drags out. "You can't! I can't have him thinking I'm a coward. Or worse."

Guilt. Fuck you, guilt. Go away. No one wants you here.

She sighs. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just…invite him over. I'll tell him then."

"Okay." She nods, getting up to go on her porch swing for some privacy. Her fingers remember his number; she'd spent half an hour last night murmuring it again and again after shooting him an initial text.

"Hi, gorgeous," he greets her, his voice every bit lovely as it had been when they'd met face to face.

It makes her giddy as hell; he's the sweetest man she knows, other than her father. Emmett's currently in the dog house.

"Hi," she whispers, her fingers grabbing the rope holding the swing above ground level.

"How was school?" His question makes her laugh through her nose. He's sounding more like a concerned brother than a boyfriend. And he's not really her boyfriend, she tells herself. He's Emmett's…even if Eddie doesn't know it yet. He chuckles, bringing her out of her musing. "Sorry, that sounded horrible. What's up?"

"Not much, but my brother wants to meet you." She looks towards the window, and barely catches Emmett's hair before he darts back to the couch, no doubt hoping he doesn't get caught listening in.

"Your brother?"

"Yeah, Emmett. Older brother." She has no idea what Emmett's told him, but she doesn't want to lie to him anymore. Something's changed in those sweet late night text messages. He'd told her about his plans for the future, graduating and then backpacking across Europe…and she wants to do that, too. Her plans for U-Dub don't sound as solid anymore.

She'd always known education; she'd seen her parents do minimum wage jobs when she was little, and she'd decided right then that she wouldn't do that. She'd study and get a great job and spoil her family rotten. She'd had a strict plan: graduate in four years, master in two, and then get a job the summer after graduation. She'd lost her childhood somewhere between those plans. She'd lost the value of gaining wisdom and knowledge from traveling.

Hearing Eddie talk about countries and beautiful places around the world made her chest tighten; if she settled down with a job, she'd never be able to see that. She knows herself enough to know she'd throw everything she had into her work.

"Uh, when should I come over?"

"Today?"

No more lying. She'll tell him tonight. She has to.

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"Hi, hey, welcome," she greets nervously, her voice shaky. He leans in, grazing his lips to her cheek, murmuring his greeting against her skin. Her hand itches to grab his jacket to pull him closer. His voice, body wash, everything…everything about him is delicious. He looks even better today, even though he's looking just as he did in the café. Maybe it's because she's gotten to know him. Maybe it's his personality that's making this magnetic pull she can feel so strong.

"Did you know that scientists believe you never really touch anything, or anyone? It's the atoms electrons that put pressure and you can feel the force of the resistance, but you're never touching."

His eyes are amused, and he steps closer to her yet again. His lips apply more pressure…they stay longer this time on her cheek. It leaves a sweet burn.

"What about that?"

Her troublesome nerves are pushed to the back of her mind right now with his boyish grin. It's astounding just what his presence can do to her even with the littlest amount of time that she's known him.

"Will he ask me what my intentions are with you?" he whispers to her, walking right behind her, so close that his chest is almost grazing her back at times.

Bella shrugs, smiling up at him hesitantly.

Emmett's even more nervous. He's pacing back and forth in the kitchen when Eddie and Bella reach him. He freezes immediately, his eyes on his "boyfriend." Or girlfriend…Bella doesn't know what to refer to him as.

She slinks back, shaking her head at Eddie's questioning stare and makes her way towards the stairs. She doesn't want to hear. She'd never thought she'd be like this. She'd always been the girl who made fun of the depressive, suicidal love struck fools who forgot everything in their lives for a boy, but here she is…not even able gather enough courage to face Eddie after the truth comes out, or even stay with Emmett to tell him. She just can't.

She doesn't love him, but there's something there. Something akin to physical pain as she thinks of Eddie despising her after learning about her role in his deception.

She falls face first onto her bed, burying her head in her pillow. She doesn't even go to see Emmett after she hears the door slam shut downstairs.

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Three days. It's been three days since she talked to Eddie last. It's made her socks dirty because she refuses to change her clothes or wear any shoes. It's the most she can do to make her parents see that she doesn't want to talk.

She's been moping. And in denial of that fact.

Emmett's not nearly as frowny-faced. It makes her wonder if it had been a fleeting feeling with Eddie, and finally tired of his casual wii playing, she slaps him on the back of his head, pulling him to sit on the couch. Her feet immediately go over his legs, her head on the arm of the sofa.

"Why are you not sad?" She's pouting.

"Because I realized something a lot sooner than you did."

"What?"

"That you're sad and I'm not."

"Thanks for the fat load of help."

He stops her from getting up by grabbing both of her legs in his arms awkwardly.

"I mean, he's sweet, too fucking sweet, but he's not the one for me, you know? I loved the feeling when he talked to me, but it wasn't really me he was talking to. I didn't lie to him about anything but I didn't stop him from assuming I was a girl…. And that alone means that he didn't really like me, and if I had liked him enough, I would've told him immediately, or at least would've felt bad when he left the other night. I felt bad for what I did to him, but not much about the fact that he may not speak to me again. You, on the other hand…" His eyes soften. "You're miserable."

She slaps his arm.

"Okay, not miserable, but you're a downer right now. He won't be mad at you. Go talk to him."

"What?"

"You heard me. Go talk to him." He grins, his white teeth gleaming. "Besides, Rosalie agreed to go out on a date with me."

"Sure?"

"No, but go."

She snickers at him, her throat tight. She doesn't waste any more time in running to her room for her cell phone.

So Emmett's feelings had probably been fleeting for Eddie, but Rosalie? He'd been after her blonde ponytail since the day she came to their house in a bikini when both girls had been in second grade for Bella's tiny pool party. She even threw a tantrum because she didn't get her own little plastic pool and slashed Bella's with the kitchen knife.

Downstairs, she had been feeling a bit confident, ready to talk to Eddie, but now? Anything but. What if he doesn't want to talk to her?

Negativity can wait.

She calls him. He ignores her. Ouch.

She calls him again. He ignores her again. And ouch again.

She texts him this time instead, hoping he'll understand what she's trying to tell him without having her word it. Being ignored triggers a reaction in the brain that's just like experiencing a physical injury.

One minute.

Two.

Five.

Ten.

Twenty.

Buzz.

Her fingers can't open the text message fast enough.

Forgiveness is the trait most strongly linked to happiness.

Silly boy.

How long did it take for you to find that quote? She texts him.

"Five minutes."

She's hallucinating. She's sure of it. Completely hallucinating.

There's no way he's here. She mashes her eyes shut, trying to clear her mind.

But when a cold hand touches her neck, she screams bloody murder.

Stupid Emmett.

She turns to yell at him, but it's not Emmett; it's Eddie, and she's sure she's stopped breathing.

He's standing in front of her, in nothing but a plain shirt, jeans, and sandals, his hair a mess.

"It took me five minutes to find that quote," he tells her, stepping closer with each word. "Ten minutes to get here. And five minutes to realize that I'd fallen harder in a few days than I did in the two months I'd talked to your brother."

He's so close, close enough for her to feel the heat emitting from his body. "But you still wanted to meet him…there had been something."

"Something, yeah. Something that ended the day you came to meet me in the café. I knew there was something different about you, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I brushed it off as the difference between long distance and face-to-face talks."

"So you don't like Emmett?"

"No." His hands are on her cheeks now, his thumbs stroking the soft skin.

"You like me."

"More than I should." He's as close to her as songs are to lips.

Soft brushing. So subtle that she can barely feel. Once more, his lips just grazing hers, until one of his hands slips behind to her neck, pulling her to him more insistently. She's surrounded by his smell, his breath, his taste, and she can't get enough. There's pulling and pushing until they're both falling, not caring where they land. With the bed behind Bella, it allows Eddie to move his hands until they're stroking up and down her sides, burning with each pass.

Teeth tugging at her bottom lip, his tongue soothing the sting afterwards. Everything. It's too little, but it's everything at the same time.

At least until they're broken apart by pounding footsteps up the stairs.

Eddie pulls back, his cheeks red, panting. He barely has time to catch his breath before Emmett bursts into the room, pulling Eddie to him, pushing his lips forcefully against his.

Bella's jaw drops to the floor; she can do nothing but stare.

Emmett. Freaking Emmett!

When her brother pulls back, she throws her pillows at him, hoping they feel like rocks.

"What the fuck, dude?" Eddie's face is almost comical, his mouth open and pulled into a frown, his teeth clenched together.

Emmett turns to Bella calmly, though, stating, "Now I know for sure." He nods like he's discovered a way for world peace, and hops out of the room.

And now she can't even be mad at him. He'd only helped reassure her fears that she wouldn't be hurting her older brother by going out with the man he liked.

Eddie turns to her, blinking. "I thought he was pranking me by pretending to be a girl."

"What? No. He was genuinely interested…I think."

"Oh."

She grins up at him, putting him out of his misery. "It's not the gender for him. If he likes the personality, gender doesn't matter. It's what's inside that matters, not outside, according to him."

The room is darkening considerably, and they both look outside. "I should go," he mumbles.

"Stay for dinner."

"I should go park my car better, then."

"Okay."

He hovers over her, his palms on her bed to hold him upright, his lips seeking hers.

She pulls back, shaking her head back and forth. "You kissed my brother with those lips. I'm not kissing you."

"He kissed me!" He rubs his lips with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Don't care. I'm not kissing you."

"Not even to erase that memory from my brain?"

She pretends to think long and hard, playing along with his teasing. "No, not even then, Eddie."

He looks at her all seriously. "Now that I know it was Emmett on the messages and not you…can you call me Edward?"

"Your name is Edward?" Her eyebrow is cocked.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because your brother was too fond of it."

She pauses a beat.

"I think I like Eddie better, too." He notices the teasing gleam in her eyes. She doesn't stop him this time when he pulls her against him, capturing her lips in his.

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