Vermillion's Comet

The effects of one comet could potentially bring in changes that could destroy Fairy Tail, Magnolia, and even Fiore as they knew it. Funny thing is that comet can only affect Fairy Tail (and anyone who happens to be inside it.) Can someone say crackfic? NaLu Gruvia GaLe Jerza and many other pairings.


Af1-chan: Yo! I've been racking my brain trying to think of the next chapter of Flittering Misfortune (another story I'm writing), but (as a result of watching and reading too many FT crack fics and videos) I have decided to pen this beauty. Well, I'll call it a beauty. What it is to you is strictly designated by your opinion. Lots of pairings, and don't forget to review for the modderlowd! (Long term, reoccurring "joke").

Happy: Anyways, she does not own Fairy Tail, nor any anime in existence. She does, however, own a wack ass keyboard with a wonky backspace that is beginning to not back space right. :(

Mirajane: Warning! This fic is stupid, crazy and ugly, best deemed a crackfic. Please enjoy at your own risk. On to~ the story.


Lucy Heartfilia awoke to a horribly cool breeze, the sight of a slightly singed ceiling, the smell of burning fish and a strange sound that resembled the growls of a feral wolf pack.

Any normal person would have immediately panicked, but Lucy? Nah. This busty blonde had long since left the realm of normal. Slowly, she turned her head to her right only to come face to face with none other than her guild's pink haired idiot, Natsu Dragneel, snoring both loudly and obnoxiously. His arms and legs were sprawled in various directions and he had managed to steal a good eighty percent of her blanket, leaving only the bottom half of her legs covered.

Lucy glared at the boy, who promptly began to stir as a result. Suddenly, the boy let out an even louder snore before stealing the remains of her blanket from her body. The blonde, clad in only her matching pink boy shorts and tank top, felt her hair stand on as the draft in the room became even worse.

"Nat-su." She growled.

Said boy stirred lightly in response, then kicked her in the stomach.

It was at that moment she decided she had had enough. It was way too early to deal with this shit. She would not cry at the fact that Natsu's bad guy kicking, town destroying, fire spewing feet just dealt her a hard blow to the stomach. No, she wouldn't even whimper. She would get revenge.

Stealthily, she snuck of her bed, tip toed out of her room and into the kitchen. Quickly, she grabbed a bucket (one of many she had lying around) and filled it to the brim with ice cold water.

Natsu's gonna regret ever setting foot in my house this morning. Mwe heh heh heh. She thought, accompanying her thought's laugh with an actual evil cackle.

"Lucy? What're you doing?" A childish voice asked from behind her.

Shit. She turned slowly to find the blue cat she had forgotten about staring at her suspiciously.

"I'm just taking this ice water to my hot bath so I can create some steam." She replied with a smirk, hoping to fool the cat.

"Steam? What do you need steam for? Do you need to be hidden?" The cat's eyes widened in wonder as he took several steps back from the blonde.

"What?" She asked him, taken aback by his behavior.

"Are you going to do naughty things? Lucy! I never took you fo-" But the cat could not complete his sentence, as the blonde kicked him in the belly so hard he flew out of her front door.

"Damn neko!" She screeched in the direction of her broken door. That's going to take a lot of rent money to fix…

Suddenly, she remembered why she was in her kitchen in the first place. The girl quickly snuck back into her room and over to the dragon slayer's side. He was still sleeping like an over grown baby, with the edition of his incredibly loud snoring.

This is going to be great. Lucy thought with a smirk. She raised the bucket over her head, preparing herself to give Natsu the greatest shock of his life. Closing her eyes, she tipped the bucket in one fell swoop, splashing water all over the dragon slayer.

No response.

She stared at him in disbelief. That was a bucket of ice cold water she had dumped on him! How could he not react to something like that?! The only thing that happened was the formation of steam in her room!

"This fool-"

"Eh?" Natsu finally moaned, opening one eye. "Luce, what's going on? You're interrupting my sleep."

"This is my room! And you're in my bed! And I just poured water on you, what's up with your reaction?!" Lucy asked rapidly.

"Water?" He repeated dumbly. "I didn't feel anything!" He grinned.

"Eh." Lucy deadpanned. Of course his hot body would make steam from the cold water. Wait, I might need to rephrase that thought…

"Ahh Lucy!" Happy yelled from outside her room.

So the cat finally got back up…? She thought in annoyance.

"It's so steamy in here! Perfect cover for you to do naughty things to Natsu!"

"N-Naughty things?" Natsu asked, looking at the blonde in disbelief. Lucy could've sworn there was a slight blush on his face.

"W-What are you talking about you perverted cat?!" Lucy cried in outrage, fighting an intense blush.

"You were going to do naughty things to Natsu! You said so in the kitchen!"

"I did no such thing!"

"Gee Luce. I never knew you-"

"Damare!" Lucy shouted, punching Natsu in the face.

"Lucy~" Natsu moaned, much to the dismay of the blonde.

"Ahh! Natsu, I won't let her soil you!" Happy cried, launching himself at the two. Lucy moved out of the way, leaving Happy to fly into the wall.

Lucy glared in anger at Happy, then at Natsu.

"Jeez. All I wanted to do was sleep, not get perved upon." Natsu grumbled.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Lucy snapped, throwing them both out of her open window.

"Ahh!" The two screamed in unison, falling to the ground.

Lucy slammed her window shut as hard as she could. Stiffly, she walked to the bathroom to her tub, completely forgetting about her ceiling and the smell of her house. The blonde could already tell that today was going to be a horrible day, and it was all thanks to Natsu and his stupid habit of breaking and entering. She filled the tub up with water, and then proceeded to immerse herself up to her eyes in said water. Maybe she could relax for a few minutes before dealing with her guild.

Crash.

Lucy shot up from the bath water, ears on high alert. The crunching of feet seemed to resonate through her bathroom walls. There was a burglar in her house! Oh no… I don't have my keys and I don't have on any clothes! What do I do? She asked herself, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Shit! Happy the window broke!" A voice yelled in a panicky tone.

"Lucy's gonna kill us!" Another voice replied in an equally distressed tone.

Or maybe a cat burglar and his dragon accomplice…. Lucy thought, growling like a dog.

"You never got the ashes off the ceiling!" She heard Natsu shout.

"You overcooked the fish, so it's your fault there are ashes on the ceiling!" She heard Happy counter him.

"Lucy's gonna kill us!" Natsu yelled in desperation.

"Twice over!"

"Let's get out of here!"

"Aye!"

Moments later, all was quiet. Lucy sunk into the water to where the water was covering her mouth, but not her nose. She blue bubbles of anger from her mouth, a dark aura surrounding her body.

Today. Was. Not. The. Day.

Little did Lucy know that today was about to get a whole lot worse. Way worse than she could even imagine.


Af1-chan: Heheh heh. Lucy doesn't even know what's coming for her…

Lucy: A-Af1-chan? *shudders*
Af1-chan: *notices Lucy is there.* Alright! First chapter is up! I have not seen a crack fic in a while, so I guess I shall supply one! I will update by Saturday. Please review~