Ok, this is not at all like my first fic, "The Two." (read it please!) I'm warning you right now, this will not be a Hermione/Draco, Hermione/Ron or Ginny/Harry. If you don't like it, then I'm just going to have 2 deal with losing a reader. If you want Ginny/Harry and Hermione/Draco, read "The Two." R&R! This fic is Harry/Hermione and probably Draco/Ginny.
Depression
Chapter 1
And so it begins
Harry was sitting on the windowpane of his bedroom at Number 4 Privet Drive, staring out into the sky. He kept muttering to himself, "I can't believe he's actually gone." He still hadn't gotten over the death of his godfather, Sirius Black, 2 years before. It was his 17th birthday, and he had no family that loved him as he loved them to share it with. Harry thought to himself, "Is fate running against me?" Harry shook his head and sighed. His 6th year had been bumpy. He started going out with Cho Chang, but as he was so depressed all the time, she dumped him after 3 weeks. Harry hadn't cared at the time, but now he wished he could find somebody to share things with.
Harry got up and sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. He shook his head again and muttered to himself, "I can't believe he's actually gone." He had nobody. Not a single soul in this universe that he could share his trouble's with. Harry Potter had many troubles that most do not realize. He liked many girls before, but they were all too shy to approach him so he had never had a real girlfriend before Cho. He didn't notice any of the girls, or anybody else for that matter, these days, not even his friends. He and Ron talked every once in awhile, and because he and Hermione were such nice people, they stuck with Harry even though he didn't talk to them much. What Harry didn't realize, was that Hermione wasn't acting out of the kindness in her heart, but something else.
Hermione lay on her own bed at her family's house in London. She couldn't get to sleep. It seemed impossible. 7 times that day she had tried calling Harry's house to wish him a Happy Birthday and to talk with him and possibly tell him how she felt. She always got to the last digit of his telephone number and then hung up the phone, losing all the self-confidence she once had. She turned and faced the wall opposite her door and looked at a picture of Harry and herself that Ron had taken last year. In the picture, Harry isn't smiling, but his arm is draped carelessly around Hermione's shoulders. Hermione's face is bright and beautiful, and kept looking up at Harry and only grew more bright and cheerful. Harry always had the same low, bitter, depressed look on his face.
A single tear slid down Hermione's cheek. She wiped it away, but soon more tears came crashing down. She kept thinking to herself, "Why? Why won't he at least notice me? Why won't he speak to me? We used to be such best friends and now it's as if we're strangers. Why must I feel this way? Why must my heart pound whenever I see his face? Why oh why?" She had feelings for Ron through 2nd year and up to their 4th year but then she noticed Harry a lot more. She noticed how well he played Quidditch. She noticed how funny he was, how sensitive he was, and how caring he was. She noticed how cute he was, how he could always make her laugh, how he succeeded at most everything put before him.
5th year came so fast and she fell head over heels in love with him. When Harry came back from a D.A Christmas meeting saying he had kissed Cho under the mistletoe and had seemed to enjoy it, she had hid her jealousy until she got to her bedroom. Later that year, she watched him see Sirius leave the earth forever and wanted to hug him and tell him it would all be okay someday. In 6th year, she saw how depressed he was, and how she never saw his smile. Then he started going out with Cho, but still no smile. Then she dumped him and yet no emotion was shown. This year was going to be different, though. This year, he was going to change. This year, Hermione was going to change him back to the man she loved if it was the last thing she ever did.
Ronald Weasley opened his eyes slowly and looked around his room. He sat up and pulled off his blanket and stared at himself in the mirror across from his bed. He thought to himself, "Why must I be so ugly?" Ron, actually, wasn't ugly. He had long wavy red hair and big brown eyes. He never bothered to notice, but lots of girl's were in love with him. He wasn't the little, out-of-place, 11-year-old anymore. He was 17 now, and incredibly gorgeous, according to many Gryffindor girls' not already in love with the depressed Harry Potter. Ron didn't notice all the girls' that followed him, whispered about him when he entered the room, and watched him from afar. He thought the entire girl population hated him, but it was just the opposite for most of them.
Ron didn't know why Harry was so depressed. He knew Sirius had died and Ron missed him just the same, but Harry could try getting over it. Ron had never lost someone special to him before, so he had no idea how it felt. He never had stopped to think about life without his family. This caused problems with Harry and him. Ron tried to snap Harry out of it last year, but Harry had just snapped at him. Ron thought that Harry and him would be friends forever, because they had been friends for 5 years without a single fight between them, and now this. Ron looked back at his reflection and sighed. "This is going to be an interesting year." He thought.
Harry woke up on the morning of September 1st, the day he was to return to Hogwart's, and got up out of bed. He had gotten his books in Diagon Alley the day his list came in. He was allowed to do magic outside of school after he turned 17 so when he got his list of books the day after his birthday, he jumped on his broomstick and flew undetected to Diagon Alley. He still wasn't excited about anything, but he still got that wonderful feeling whenever he rode a broomstick.
Harry pulled on Muggle clothes and checked to make sure he had everything packed safely in his trunk and headed down the stairs. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley were aware that Harry was allowed to do magic outside of school now, so they took extra precautions not to upset him. They also didn't have to take Harry to King's Cross Station for his final year. Harry dropped his trunk and Hedwig's cage outside of the kitchen door and went in. He sat down and ate the breakfast his aunt had put on the table, not saying a word to anybody. When he had finished he made to get up, but Uncle Vernon stopped him saying, "Sit down, Harry. We need to have a little chat." Harry sat back down and nodded his head.
"Well, boy, I mean, Harry. This is your last and final year at that school of yours. Hogwart's isn't it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, that Headmaster of yours, Professor Dumbledore, when he dropped you on our doorstep 17 years ago, he left a letter explaining why you were there. He also left a letter from your Mother and Father that you were to read before you went to your final year at Hogwart's."
"Well? Where is it?"
"I have it right here."
He handed Harry a letter and he opened the envelope carefully and then decided he would read it on the train. He might miss it if he dawdled too long. He put the letter in his pocket and nodded in thanks to his Uncle. He said to them all, "Good-bye. I may never see you again." He walked out of the room and picked up his trunk and Hedwig's cage. He looked back in the kitchen when he passed it and said, "Thanks for raising me. Even though we never got along." With that said, Harry walked out of Number 4 Privet Drive forever.
Ron stepped through the barrier that separated Platform's 9 &10 and walked along the sidewalk of Platform 9 ¾. He heard his sister, Ginny, come through the barrier behind him, but didn't turn around. He stopped outside one of the entrances and waited for the rest of his family to come through. He and Ginny said goodbye to them all and hugged them, then got on the train. Ginny spotted some of her friends and went to sit with them. Ron searched the compartments for Hermione and soon found her sitting in one near the back along with Harry.
Harry was sitting against the wall staring out the window at the beautiful day outside. Ron said, "Hello, Hermione. How was your summer?" Hermione got up and gave Ron a hug saying, "Hi, Ron!" She sat back down and explained how her summer went to the very last detail. By the time she had finished telling him everything they were well on their way. Then Ron asked Harry, "How was your summer, Harry?"
"Fine."
"Anything interesting happen?"
"Nope."
"That's a shame."
"Yup."
Harry then remembered his letter. Hermione and Ron started chatting, and Harry took the letter out of his pocket and opened it slowly. He pulled out the letter inside it and held it in his hands, taking it all in. 17 years before, his parents had written him this letter. He couldn't help wondering what it'd be like to have his parents and Sirius here with him. He shook the memory of Sirius's death away and opened the folded parchment. He looked at the loopy handwriting and held back a tear. He finished unfolding the letter and read:
"Dear our only son,
I guess since you're reading this, it's your last year at Hogwart's. Congratulations on making it this far! Now, Harry, don't get angry about this, but we knew Sirius was going to pass through the veil. We also knew we were going to be murdered by Voldemort. I'm so sorry, but just think of it this way; you never have to see that wretched sister of your mother's or her demon family ever again. Like I said before, don't get angry that we didn't try to stop this from happening, but we couldn't fool with destiny, it's dangerous. This letter may seem pointless, but we just thought you had a right to know. Happy Birthday 16 times. Congratulations again, and your mother and I wish we could be there to see you graduate and see your wedding and see our grandchildren. Don't forget, alive or dead, we'll love you forever.
Love,
Mum and Dad."
Harry held back more tears and then noticed that Hermione and Ron were both staring at him. He resisted the urge to scream and said, "They knew they were going to die. They knew Sirius was going to die. They knew and they didn't do a damn thing about it." He put his head in his hands and Ron and Hermione tried to process this sudden outburst. That one exclamation was more than Harry had ever said at one time. Hermione cautiously asked, "Who knew?" Harry picked up his head and said, "My parents. They knew that Voldemort was going to murder them and yet they didn't do a single thing about it like run or hide or anything. They'd rather not mess with destiny than raise me." He pushed the letter towards them and put his head back down in his hands. Ron took the parchment in his hands and read it aloud to Hermione. She gasped when he was finished reading it and stood up and walked over to where Harry was sitting. He sat down next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. Harry picked his head up and Hermione saw that he was crying. Harry had given in and let the tears flow. Hermione could feel his pain and pulled him into a hug, which to Hermione's delight, he returned and sobbed onto her shoulder.
Ron said to them both, "I'm going to go see how close we are to the school." He got up and walked out of the compartment, leaving Hermione and Harry hugging. Harry kept saying to her, "They knew and they didn't do anything." Hermione comforted him until he stopped crying. After a couple minutes Hermione said to him, "Harry? I sort of know how you're feeling. I lost my grandmother last year. Would you like me to help you?" Harry nodded and gave her another hug. Hermione walked to her seat and sat down, floating on air. Ron came back in uncertainly and said, "We'll be arriving in about an hour." Harry nodded and Hermione said, "Well, I'll be right back. I'm going to change into my robes." Ron nodded and said to Harry once she left, "You okay, mate?"
"Yeah, Ron. I'm okay."
"I've never seen you cry before."
"Yeah. It's not something I do often, but sometimes…sometimes you just need a good cry to help get over things, you know?"
"Yeah. So does that mean you're over Sirius's death?"
"No! How can I ever get over it?"
"Harry! Don't get angry with me! I'm just trying to get my best friend to see that life goes on, and you don't have to get over it but you can't be depressed all the time!"
Harry turned is head towards the window and didn't respond. He thought to himself, "This is going to be a long year."
A/N- I hope u like this story, please review and tell me what you think!
Love,
Dangerous Combonation
