A/N-- This was just something silly Ana Cardic and I did a few years back, for the sake of my own amusment, I've turned it into a fanfiction .net acceptable story, in two parts. Good for a laugh, if nothing else.

The two characters I put in very different font-ish-things, Ana is in underline, and I am in bold. ...just so's ya know.

Cheers! -Allyp

Disclaimer-- I do not own Disney, or Snow White, or Aladdin, or anything to do with either of them, and I am certainly not making any money off of this. My thanks to the people who do actually own these things for letting us do silly tributes to them.

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Sick of Disney movies with plot points, characters, and random singing that made no sense; Ana Cardic and Allergic to Paradox decided to Do Something. Something, of course, was a telling exposé on some of the more ridiculous bits of two of Disney's most Beloved movies; Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and Aladdin.

Ana cackled as she cracked her knuckles, ready to make her friend dive deep undercover to explain the intricacies and continuity errors in Snow White.

Ally-p was standing before her laptop in a gusting wind, in the final scene of the movie. Having lived, snuck and generally poked about through the entire story in her perfect disguise as a cute woodland animal, Ally-p was now ready to tell all she had learned.

Ana settled into her chair and typed the first message. --Ally-p, are you ready?--

The reply appeared on her screen. --Ready and rarin' to go!--

With a chuckle, Ana typed the first question, waiting eagerly for the response.

--1. What the heck happened to Snow White's voice in the well scene, and why was it like that from then on? That wiggling ain't nat'ral. --

--The voice inside the well is actually the REAL Snow White, for the rest of the movie it is a wannabe. You see, the wannabe teamed up with the dove-hyena crossbreeds featured in that scene to throw Snow White down the well. The producers liked the idea of a singing well so much that they continued to film the scene with the real Snow still down there.

R.I.P. Snow White

died of pneumonia

whilst singing in a well--

Ana shook with laughter as she checked her list for the next question.

--2. Why did the Good King never notice that his wife has this huge skull and evil-book filled office down in the dungeons, when there's this whole staircase and everything leading right to it? --

--Because pillow talk can make men blind to a surprising number of things before you get rid of them (The men, that is); and Evil Queens seem to be very familiar with this knowledge, or so I've heard from the squirrels. --

Ana nodded wisely. Those squirrels seemed to know everything. Just goes to show what you can get away with if you are little and fuzzy.

--3. What was the name of the eighth little dwarf again? And why did he run away as a toddler? --

--Snoopy. Need I say more?--

--4. What exactly was the queen going to DO with Snow White's heart when she got it?! The stories say that she was going to eat it, but you can't believe everything you read, can you? --

--She was really going to dry it in a jar of potpourri, string it on a silken rope and hang it above the thrones for that don't-piss-me-of-or-else look that she saw on Martha Stewart. --

Ana blinked. --Martha Stewart? Are you sure?--

Ally-p shrugged, even though she knew her friend couldn't see her. --The raven referred to 'The Wicker Queen of Matching Sheet Sets', so I assumed he meant her.--

"Ahh, that makes sense." Ana thought a moment, then typed in the next question.

--5. Why are there always human skulls in dungeons? --

--Those are the remains of the said evil person's steamy love affairs, the ones that went 'tragically wrong' and so the lover who pissed off the witch or wizard ended up as said skulls.--

Ally-p checked her 'Magic Kingdom TV guide'. "Oh, here it is." --(Tomorrow on Martha Stewart, 'gold-plating those dusty old skulls laying around your dungeon'...) --

--6. Why did the raven team up with the Evil Witch? I mean, he seems kind of annoying, but coming from the land of Disney's Stereotypical Animals, he seems kind of nice for a Big Evil Bad Guy.--

--Because the evil queen paid off the gambling debt he owed to the Vulture Mafia. You will notice that when the evil queen goes to get Snow White, the raven does not go with her. That is because the Vulture Don's thugs are waiting outside the castle, because of course the evil queen's agreed payment of three dead cows and a liter of rotten fish never arrived at the Mob's headquarters. As you see, they get payment in the end though. Now isn't that a happy ending?--

Ana pursed her lips as she read this. Time for the last question, the question that most fans of the movie wouldn't even have, because the scene of Snow White's mother had been cut from the movie at the last minute; or so she seemed to remember.

--7. Why exactly did Snow White's mother make the connection between red lips and blood so quickly? (I don't know if the blood bit is in the Disney version... it may just be in the story. Knowing Disney, it's probably red as cherries or the happy little top bit of a rainbow or something). --

Ally-p sighed and shook her head. This part had always annoyed her, especially when she had to watch it in the guise of a speckled dove, unable to act, because of her undercover status.

--Snow White's mother secretly had an obsession with blood and death, why else would she be sewing by an OPEN WINDOW in the WINTER while she was pregnant? Sadly, being as there was no heavy black eyeliner to use, or depressing, angst-ridden music for her to listen to, she had to resort to dramatics, and therefore lost her life.--

Ana sat back in her chair, satisfied. One of Disney's most famous movies had now been explained, and it was her turn to go undercover. She grabbed her laptop and put on her veil, reading to explore the bizarre and very very strange world that was Aladdin.

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Next chapter: Ana explores Aladdin!