Please remember that I don't own South Park.
I've always heard people say, 'love is bittersweet.' You know what though? It's just bitter. But I wouldn't change it for a thing.
Me and Kyle have been hanging out a lot lately. Since Stan broke up with him for Wendy, he's been over every day.
Most days we just sit in my room and play video games or something. He never says much, call it intuition but I know he's just here so he doesn't have to sit in his room alone.
For some reason I'm perfectly okay with this. I am Kenny McCormick and I don't mind being used.
"Are you okay?" Do you need anything?" I always ask him this before he even gets past the door. He'll give me a small smile and nod.
"I'm fine Kenny, stop worrying about me so much."
I only worry about you because you're worth it.
"Don't pretend like you don't love it!"
Like I said though, a lot of the time he doesn't say much to me. So it really surprised me one day when he opened up. I know I'm his friend, but I'm not Stan. I'm not lucky enough to have him say those kinds of things to me. Kyle just doesn't open up, it makes him feel vulnerable I think.
This is why I'm sure it hurt so badly, his heart was heavily guarded and Stan didn't just happen to luck out and win it. To trust is one thing for him, but to realize he picked the wrong person to trust in is another.
We were sitting on my bed, so close our outstretched legs touched. He was having a hard day. Wendy was all over Stan. That and he completely ignored Kyle again. He's such an asshole to him anymore.
They're on some type of 'we're not together anymore but I'm still you're super best friend.' Kick, don't they know that shit never works out?
You can't just be best friends with somebody who broke your heart. So I asked him this-
"Do you think there was some way you could have spared yourself Kyle? Like if you had known-"
"I would have loved him anyway." Kyle said quickly, somehow reading my thoughts. He had turned to look at me; his face wasn't so blank now. He looked more like the Kyle I know.
He continued. "If I had somehow known this would happen in the end, how our last chapters would play out...I would have loved him anyway. If maybe by some slim chance I had the strength to resist, I know it wouldn't have made me any difference."
I looked at Kyle, his green eyes shimmering with tears, the way red curls shaped pale but beautiful skin. He was so alive right then. It almost killed me because I know why he looked like that. Stan.
"Kenny I wouldn't change anything. Loving Stan is the best thing I have ever done, even if God himself would have told me how much I'd hurt...I wouldn't have cared. I would gladly do it all over again. I would have loved him anyway." I could hear the desperation in his voice, the want for me to understand.
But I already did.
'I would have loved him anyway.' He sounded like a broken record. One I could listen to over and over again.
I could feel a knot start to form inside my throat, the inside of my nose filled with heat, I had to bite the inside of my mouth, so I wouldn't start crying.
"I love him Kenny, and I wouldn't trade one day with him for the world." He paused and I watched a single tear, like the ones I was fighting fall slowly his cheek.
"If he came to me today and said 'take me back.' What do you think I'd say?" He sounded so sad.
I wanted to say, no scream 'But what about me! Don't you love me?'
Why can't you love me Kyle?
"...yes." I muttered, my eyes never meeting his. I didn't start to cry until he left early that day. I had to be strong for him, even if I just wanted somebody to be strong for me for once. You see I'm in love with him. So in love. I didn't mean to be, it just happened.
Being needed for something feels good. Yet at the same time it hurts, and even if I'd known what offering Kyle a shoulder to cry on then, would mean today...I'd have done it anyway.
A/N: Brought to you by cheesy country music and my love for crying over sad things! Well I hope you enjoyed, and that it wasn't too bad. Thanks for reading!
