"Leaving"

Dedicated to a dear friend of mine who is moving away.


Evening descended over the land of Genovia; the orange sun lowered slowly over the mountain ranges casting a myriad of muted colors over the expanse of the vast meadows lying below. All across the land, mothers and fathers were returning home from work; children were running home from their play; and families were sitting down to dinner together. Inside the palace walls, the Royal "family" had just started eating their evening meal as well. Joseph and Clarisse sat on one side of the table; Shades and Charlotte on the other with Mia sitting at the head. Nicholas had also joined them taking up his usual place on the opposite end. Although he and Mia had agreed to give their relationship some time before they made any official declarations, he was a regular fixture at the dinner table at the palace.

What had started out as a typical evening meal turned into a night that Clarisse Renaldi would never forget. Mia seemed to have a knack for making innocent statements that had the ability to set in motion a chain of events that could not be stopped…no matter how badly the parties involved may want that to occur.

"So Charlotte, how are the plans going for the big move?" Mia asked over the main course of pecan crusted chicken and rice pilaf.

All activity ceased as Charlotte struggled not to drop her fork in response to the question that now hung heavily in the air. Her eyes sent a panicked glance in the direction of the reigning monarch as she felt her best friend and former Queen's attention fall squarely on her.

Before Charlotte could answer, Clarisse interjected. "Moving? Are you changing suites? Are you expanding your family?" She asked with a slight smile, referencing the recent relationship that she and Shades had started.

Clarisse and Shades exchanged glances while Mia's mind was whirling trying to come up with a plausible explanation to fix her latest faux pas. She knew without a doubt that Charlotte could not lie her way out of this. Anyone who knew Charlotte at all knew she was NOT good at lying…and her Grandmother knew Charlotte better than anyone did.

Their relationship had started out of necessity – strictly a working relationship. It didn't take long for the two women to realize that there were some key differences between them: their age and occupations topping the list. Despite those things, the found they were kindred spirits. The friendship they shared started off slowly…sharing a smile or laugh – maybe even a small personal story or two. It took time for the bond to grow though as Clarisse had always had a hard time letting go and letting someone in to see the "real" her. She used her title and the responsibilities of her position in the country as a shield; but, truth be told, she was reluctant to let anyone in completely for fear of being hurt or that they might not like the woman behind the façade.

The lack of response unnerved the former Queen a bit. Clarisse was normally very patient; but she felt a slight sense of – was it panic? was it fear? slowly creeping into her heart. She looked at her expectantly. "Charlotte?"

The answer was quiet, but strong and perhaps tinged with a bit of excitement as Charlotte shared her news. "I've accepted the position of diplomatic attaché to Spain. I will be moving to Madrid in three months to start my assignment."

"You mean you're leaving? You can't, Charlotte. Why would you want to leave? No…" Clarisse was stunned at Charlotte's revelation.

Charlotte had known this wasn't going to be easy; but she hadn't really counted on her friend using denial as a defense. "It's a wonderful opportunity; it would be like a dream come true…" Noticing her friend's countenance look up sharply, she quickly added, "not that working at the Palace hasn't been very fulfilling."

Clarisse was in shock; this was one of the rare times in her life that she found herself speechless. Charlotte, her best friend – her confidante – her rock, had just informed her that she was accepting a long term diplomatic assignment to Spain. Charlotte was not just her best friend aside from Joseph, she was her only other friend. She had lots of acquaintances that she would have tea or brunch with on occasion; but no other female that she confided in, that she could really be herself with. Charlotte had seen it all – the good, the bad, even the ugly.

She gave Charlotte one last look…a mix of hurt, sadness, and perhaps betrayal before standing and offering. "If you'll excuse me, please?"

The group at the table watched in silence as she walked away. "Should I go after her?" Charlotte asked.

Joseph placed a hand on Charlotte's arm. "No. She needs some time."

"I'm sorry, Charlotte. I thought you had told her already." Mia offered.

"No…no, I kept waiting for the 'right time'." She sighed. "It just never seemed to arrive." Charlotte directed her focus to Joseph. "She's very upset with me, isn't she?"

"She's hurt, Charlotte. She considers you her best friend and she just found out that you were leaving – by accident, really. I'm sure she would have appreciated you telling her in private rather than learning this way."

The rest of dinner was quiet and the remaining food mostly untouched as the mood had definitely shifted. Within thirty minutes, the group decided that any further pretense of dinner was unnecessary and bid each other good night.

Joseph found Clarisse the second place he checked – the library. Outside of her rose garden, the library was her favorite place. The large bay window faced the west which allowed a magnificent view of the Genovian sunset. She loved to sit in the loveseat and watch the beauty of nature unfold. It always seemed to help her sort through her thoughts and emotions. She didn't find much comfort in the scenery tonight. She heard him come in; but made no move to get up.

Joseph watched her for a few moments, knowing she was hurting. She had heard him come in and had made no acknowledgement of his arrival other than to wipe away a solitary tear that had slipped down her cheek. Clarisse had never been one to show her emotions to others; that would have been a loss of control to her way of thinking; and loss of control was a luxury she never allowed herself. He walked over and sat next to her, his arm surrounding her shoulders and pulling her closer to his supporting frame. She didn't need words now; she just needed comfort. The battle between emotion and logic was still raging deep within her and she would need time before she would be ready to talk.

How long they sat there, he couldn't be sure. The light in the room had diminished to dusk now that the sun had found its evening resting place. There had been complete silence save the occasional exhale of a deep breath or the rustle of clothing as she tried to prevent the damp spot on his shirt from growing any more. Joseph knew he had to be patient; Clarisse was a woman who would not talk about something until she had sorted out the emotions. She was not a woman who "lost" it; rather she was one whose calm demeanor and objectivity was very adept at helping others through their emotional crises. He smiled a bit to himself remembering the one time he had seen her really lose it…that had been the day she had turned her back on their love for what they believed would be the last time and he had decided to move on with his life.

Fortunately, that story had had a happy ending. Unlike tonight, Mia's interference had proven very helpful for their relationship. He was unsure what the final verdict would be for the two women. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and rubbed her shoulder gently. "We should go up to our room, dear, it's getting late."

"You go ahead; I won't be able to sleep."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet; I'm not ready."

"I'm here to listen whenever you are. Until then, I shall wait with you."

Clarisse didn't respond other than to nod her head. She didn't like feeling this way…she was torn. Part of her was very happy for her friend. She always knew Charlotte was destined for great things and had accepted that, eventually, destiny would take her away from the Palace and from her. It was the timing that had thrown her; that, and the fact that Charlotte hadn't spoken to her privately about this. It was that fact that had hurt her the most. Clarisse could only draw one conclusion from this turn of events…it was obvious that Charlotte didn't feel the same way about their friendship as she did. She sighed again and made no effort to stop the tears that now fell freely.

Joseph picked up his precious bundle and carried her the short distance to their suite. He was thankful that he didn't have to traverse the steps. As a younger man, he would have carried her to the ends of the earth; so even though the years had been kind to him…he was grateful that no stairs were involved in tonight's journey. The guard smiled gently at him and opened the door for Joseph.

Clarisse slept throughout the journey; her emotions finally getting the best of her. She felt herself being lowered gently on the bed. "Joseph?"

"Yes, love?"

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes; and I determined that sleeping on the couch in the library was not a good idea for our backs, hips…well, in general, not a good idea."

She smiled sleepily, her eyes still closed. "Probably not."

Joseph sat down on the bed beside her and gently stroked her cheek. "We should get ready for bed.

"Can you turn the lights down? My eyes don't want to face the light just yet."

Joseph complied. The harsh light from the lamp extinguished thereby allowing the gentle moonbeams flooding through the window to mutely light the room. Clarisse opened her eyes slightly and pulled Joseph towards her. The need to feel as close as possible to Joseph tonight asserted itself again. Her soul needed the comfort; her body needed the reassurance of human touch; and, her mind needed to forget the pain of the last few hours. Her hand caressed his cheek; she loved the look of pure love that shone on his face when she shared this affectionate gesture with him. But the days of sharing only loving looks was over and she let her hand slide to his neck to pull him close to her body.

The passion, though intense, remained at a smolder. Tonight was about comfort and love; they shared so many emotions and both were adept at communicating that without words. The kiss served its purposes pushing away the hurt and loss that had consumed her for the past several hours. Once she felt a little stronger, she whispered. "Joseph?"

"Yes, my love."

"Promise you'll never leave me – no matter what opportunities may come your way."

He rose to look into those beautiful blue eyes that had captured him from the first moment he saw her. "There is nothing I want more than to spend forever in your arms."

"So you promise?" She wanted to hear the words.

He kissed her tenderly on the forehead before whispering in her ear. "I promise."

***

When Clarisse opened her eyes, she was momentarily confused. She was no longer in the library. Rather, she found herself surrounded by the comfort of her own bed. As she made her way to the bathroom, her muscles screamed from being in one position too long yesterday and perhaps from her activities with Joseph as well. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy from the tears that had insisted on falling. Joseph had been so sweet, so understanding – she was truly blessed to have him in her life.

"Good morning, Darling."

She turned and smiled in his direction. "Morning."

"Your tea is in the sitting room."

"Thank you, Joseph…for everything." Her hand caressed his cheek. Catching a glimpse of herself in the dresser mirror, she offered. "I fear it may take me a while to become presentable."

His arms circled her waist from behind. "You will look beautiful, as always, my dear."

She chuckled. "And you are quite biased or blind."

He laughed. "Perhaps; but I'm correct. Come now, have some tea – it will make you feel better."

After they shared their breakfast in companionable silence, Joseph decided to broach the subject, once again. "I think you should speak with Charlotte today."

There was considerable silence before she answered. "To what end? I won't be able to make her stay; she's already made her decision. Nothing I have to say will change her mind…no matter how much I want her to stay."

"She's your friend; you should talk about it – if, for no other reason, than that." Joseph knew she was hurting; but also knew there was precious little he could do for her…this was between her and Charlotte.

"Perhaps in time; but I'm not ready to talk about it right now." With that statement she stood, kissed him and went to the bathroom to prepare for her day.

Joseph watched her walk away. He hoped she realized that time was no longer on her side…the clock was ticking and soon the opportunity for a face to face conversation with her best friend would no longer be possible. Denial was a comforting emotion but a deceptive one – one that could cause his beautiful wife to lose precious time with her closest friend.

Over the next few weeks, life had returned to some semblance of normal. Clarisse had chosen the course of denial and Charlotte seemed content to let her journey down that path. A few weeks later, Clarisse decided to reach out in an effort to ease the awkwardness between them. She found Charlotte in the kitchen making a sandwich for lunch. "Charlotte?"

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

The use of her title stung a bit; Clarisse had thought they had moved beyond that…but figured her behavior over the past few weeks had justified the response. She took a deep breath, smiled and forged ahead. "I was wondering if you might join me for dinner this evening. Joseph is having a – I believe he called it a poker night with the boys – I thought it would be nice for you and I to have some quality time together."

"I'm sorry; I can't." Charlotte replied.

"Oh, alright, I understand."

Seeing the disappointment in her friend's face, Charlotte added. "I'm sorry; I would love to…it's just that I already have other plans. Some friends from school and I are meeting at "The Genovian Grill" for dinner."

"I see…well, of course, enjoy your time with your friends." Clarisse was disappointed. Her avoidance of the issue had already cost her several weeks and now it appeared old friends of Charlotte's were coming out of the woodwork to bid her a happy farewell.

"Maybe next time?" Charlotte offered.

"Of course; I will see you later." She forced a smile for Charlotte's behalf.

"Clarisse?"

Clarisse stopped and turned around. "Yes, Charlotte?"

"Nothing has to change…we'll still be friends. We will still be able to talk and visit. I promise." Charlotte placed a hand on Clarisse's arm.

Clarisse offered a sad smile and pulled Charlotte into a hug. "I know you believe that, Charlotte and I hope you are right."

**xx**

It was late when Joseph let himself into their suite. Clarisse was sitting on her favorite chaise watching the fire blaze. He stood there a moment just watching her…the flames casting orange shadows over her white satin pajamas. "You didn't have to wait up, dear."

"I couldn't sleep."

Joseph came and sat next to her. "What's wrong? Did something happen while I was gone?" The concern was evident in his voice.

Clarisse continued to stare ahead into the flames. "She thinks nothing will change."

"Who?"

"Charlotte."

He nudged her over enough to sit beside her. Her body adjusted to accommodate his. He didn't say anything for a while. Finally he asked. "So what happened that keeps you from believing her?"

It took several minutes before she finally spoke. "It was a long time ago – before I married Rupert. There was a woman who was about ten years older than me. Her name was Angelique; she was my best friend. I confided in her about everything going on in my life. I shared my excitement and fear over my arranged marriage, being future Queen, and trying to love a man that I hardly knew. She was a wonderful listener and always gave me the advice I needed to hear."

"Sounds like she was a very good friend." Joseph offered quietly.

"She was the best."

"I don't remember you mentioning her before."

"That's because it has been too painful to speak of since we parted ways."

"What happened?"

"Life."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I was concerned about our friendship changing once I moved to the palace. She assured me that nothing would change…that my moving out of the neighborhood wouldn't affect our friendship." She paused as if reflecting and remembering a painful time from long ago. "At first, she was right – nothing changed. But as time went on, we spoke less and less…until one day – the communication dwindled to nothingness. My letters went unanswered and she never seemed be home when I called. I finally was able to reach her, after several attempts. Do you know what she said to me?" The tears had started to slowly slip from her sapphire pools, glistening on her cheeks in the firelight.

Joseph gently tried to wipe the tears away; only to have those be replaced by fresh ones. "Tell me, love."

She turned from the fire to look at the man who had shared so much of her life. She had shared most, but not everything. The scars from Angelique had lasted a life time. She cupped his face in her hand and sought comfort deep within his gentle features. "She said that our lives had taken us too far apart and that I could no longer possibly understand where she was at in her stage of life no more than she could understand mine. I told her that I would like the opportunity to at least try…but she simply refused. I continued to send birthday cards and the occasional correspondence; there was never a response."

He pulled her fully into his embrace, realizing that the relationship with Angelique was a turning point in his wife's life. It had prevented her from letting people in…Charlotte had been the first in many years and now, with Charlotte leaving, Clarisse saw history about to repeat itself. It was no wonder she was having trouble coming to terms with this.

"She shut me out of her life and we have not spoken for years…how do friends let things like that happen?"

"As you said, life happens. That doesn't mean, though, that the same thing will happen with Charlotte – she is not the same person as Angelique."

"Perhaps, but I can't be sure. There is an age difference between us just like there was with Angelique; Charlotte is moving away – not far, but still away; and, I know that things will change…they always do."

tbc