Title: Won't Waste Tomorrow
Category: Glee
Ship: Rachel/Puck
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rated: PG-13 (cursing)
Word Count: 2017
Summary: At a graduation party the night before she's set to leave Lima, confessions a long time coming are revealed.
A/N: Very quick, I haven't watch all season so I have no idea what's going on the show and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know but I've missed writing for these two very much.
PuckRachel Drabble Meme: Gif prompt by freaktonight. Gif here
Thanks to Emma for the beta and general loveliness.
… … …
Brittany's room was really bright. She had no place to criticize as her own room was a rainbow of colors with sunny yellow walls and colorful comforters; but Brittany's was like being inside a cotton candy with enough stuffed animals that it made her own collection seemed mediocre. She rested on the bed looking up at the ceiling but not really seeing. Her head pounding to the beat of the music that played loudly downstairs.
"Wow, Brittany really likes her unicorns!" A deep voice called out to her, voicing the thought that had been coursing through her head. The mystical creatures were everywhere, in plush form, on posters, drawings and even the comforter she laid on had them.
She lifted her head to look at him. Noah Puckerman was leaning against the arch of the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest causing his already snug white long-sleeved shirt to hug the hard angles of his body, showing his hard earned definition. She swallowed back the sigh of appreciation that always seemed to want to escape when she looked at him. She was a high-school graduate now. Tomorrow, she would get on a plane to the city of her dreams to start a summer theater program and come Fall, she'd start college and her bright future. She needed to get over her girlish fasciations with this boy's beauty.
"I think it's a metaphor for her uniqueness." She answered, laying her head back down. Her pulse hiked when she heard him come into the room, closing the door behind him. He walked around, picking nick-knacks here and there before the bed tipped as he laid down next to her.
"Hey, Rach." He said softly in proper greeting as he stared at the ceiling, too.
"Hi, Noah." She answered after clearing her throat when his hand brushed the back of hers as he shifted.
"Why aren't you downstairs?" He asked as he turned his head to the side. "Hummel is acting out some play he swears you and he will star in within the next two years."
She smiled, wondering which of the many plays Kurt had decided they'll be in. Her smile diminished when she remembered why she's hiding out in the former cheerleader's room in the first place. "Finn cornered me in the kitchen."
Puck hummed, his hand brushing against hers again.
"He wanted me to rethink my decision." She continued, her throat tight as she remembered her former boyfriend's pleading brown eyes, his half smile that would have once caused her to melt into a puddle on the floor. "I hate that he's taking our break up so hard but as he tried to convince me that leaving is a mistake and that staying here with him would be great, all I could think was that was the last thing I would ever want and I felt so bad."
She let out a shaky breath as his hand slid into hers and gave it a squeeze. "Am I a horrible person for leaving him behind, Noah?"
The bed dipped again as he turned on his side to look at her, his green eyes kind but serious. Still, she could see a little bit of haziness in them and she knew it was from the alcohol he had been consuming. "Do you love him, Rachel, and I don't mean as your friend or your first love, do you love him?"
She was quiet, she knew the answer, of course, but it just filled her with more guilt. She had spent so much time chasing after Finn, plotting and scheming to have him be hers, that for her answer to be no now seemed like a waste of so much time: hers, Finn's…even the time of the boy currently looking at her so deeply that she just wanted to get lost in his gaze. Still, she shook her head and told her heart to behave when he let out a breath that just sounded so…relieved.
"Then, no." He answered with conviction. "You'd be horrible if you stayed out of some sense of duty and not love. Hell, Rachel, even if you were still madly in love with him, you'd still need to go, you can't get swallowed up by this town."
"But he-"
"If Finn stays here that's on him, he can leave." He cut her off, his hand letting go of hers to place a finger on her lips, silencing her. "We all have that option, if he doesn't take it, there's nothing you can do, and he shouldn't have even asked you to stay."
Her gaze clouded as tears pooled over her eyes but she did not let them fall; instead, she smiled gratefully under the finger still pressed again her mouth. "Thank you, Noah." She whispered, filled with relief at his understanding.
He nodded softly and her heart started to pound in her chest, ignoring her previous warning as his finger started to trace the lines of her mouth. "Not that I blame him completely. To have you and lose you… it fucking sucks, Rach."
"Noah." She whispered breathlessly at his words, his hand moving from her mouth to her cheek.
"I make myself forget, you know." He said with a soft grin that was so bittersweet. The tears she had been holding in for another boy now spilled for this one. "I ignore the way I feel around you. I would tell myself that you were his girl and I wasn't going to do that to him anymore. I tell myself that being your friend is enough, that you deserve better than the guy who knocked-up the chastity queen and made all the wrong choices. And most days it's enough, because you're going to go out there and conquer the world and everyone here who doubted you or who made your life hell, they're going to fucking choke on their envy."
She laughed at the smirk on his face and the way his eyes danced with his statement.
"But then I look at you." He whispered so softly she had to lean forward to hear him, his face inches away from hers as he laid back down, his forehead touching hers. His gaze was so intimate. She could see each and every one of his feelings being reflected in his warm eyes. "I look at you and you're just so beautiful, Rachel."
She closed her eyes and felt what truly feels like heartbreak, leaving her floundering because if this was what it felt like, then what the hell had Finn been?
A waste of time.
Her heart was breaking because she had wasted so much time and she could not get it back now.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, watching the way he leaned closer, his eyes shut as her breath danced over his face.
"You're drunk." She stated helplessly, knowing it was the wrong thing to say when he let out a humorless chuckle and sighed tiredly.
"Yes, I'm drunk." He answered, moving away slightly, which might as well be miles. "And you're beautiful and tomorrow morning, I'll be sober but you'll still be beautiful and I'll still be in love with you."
She closed her eyes tightly, her fist clenched as her throat contracted with the sobs that wanted to be freed. They said nothing for a moment. He was not leaving like she thought he would. She rolled her eyes at herself because Noah wouldn't leave her when she was an emotional mess, even if she was hurting him. He would stay to make sure she was okay. He loved her. Taking a calming breath this time, she rose up, turning to her side. Tentatively, she placed a hand over his chest. He looked up at her with an understanding look that made her lips tremble, a sniffle passing them when his arm came around her shoulder, pulling her to his chest. She laid there, clinging to him, her tears staining his shirt as he ran his hand over her hair. He told her softly all the amazing things she would do and how proud he was and all she could do was wonder how she could have been blind to this person for so long.
In the morning when she woke up, she found that he was already awake and looking at her. He pointed at his watch silently. She had just enough time to get home, shower and get to the airport. Her life was about to begin he told her as he got up from Brittany's bed with her. One look told her he won't go with her. This was their good-bye.
He gave her a playful smirk that reeked of his 'Puckness' and she had to smile at it, welcoming the butterflies it caused. Leaning down, he gave her a soft kiss that left her aching for more. As she walked out the door, he called out to her. "Its morning, Rachel, and you're still beautiful."
… … …
She spent the summer in New York alone, getting to know every nook and cranny of a city she was already madly in love with. The apartment that she would share with Kurt once he arrived from his road trip with his father and Blaine was already decorated. Not that it will matter, she was sure Kurt would want to change. She had not heard much from the club, an email here or there from where they were settling in, getting ready for school to begin. She heard from Finn a couple of times but it was too awkward and soon he stopped calling. It hurt but she had come to terms that they would never be friends; they had reached the end of their story. She spent her time with Mike when he got to the city for a dance program, but she had not heard from Noah at all. No one had.
After Brittany's party he all but disappeared, they tell her in passing. She tried his number a couple of times but it always went to voicemail and after a couple dozen unanswered ones, she stopped trying. She swallowed back the pain it caused her, but still hopes he'll call one day. Kurt looks at her knowingly whenever she jumped to get her phone when it rang, only to be disappointed. She acted ignorant when he told her that he would call one day and pretended she had no idea what he was talking about.
They were a month into the semester, her fourth month in the city. It was hard, the course load was harder and the competition was stiffer than either she or Kurt thought but exhilarating. She was born to compete; she was not going to stop now. Coming back from a particularly grueling day of classes, she found him sitting outside her apartment door and she wondered for a moment if her tiredness had made her to hallucinate.
But he stood up in ratty jeans, another tight shirt and a battered leather jacket. He gave her that smirk that caused her insides to act like they were acrobats twisting and jumping about. "I'm sober." He drawled out. "You're beautiful."
He stood in front of her and she had to tilt her head to look at him, he was so close, his eyes are bright and nervous but also hopeful. "And I'm still in love with you."
There was so much she wanted to say, to ask. A part of her was annoyed that he had taken so long. If she was honest, she would admit that she had been waiting for him to show up since about an hour after she stepped foot into the city. Four months later… He took his time. She would tell him that later, she decided as she closed the very little gap between them and sealed her mouth over his, her head spinning as his arms circling around her waist, lifting her off her feet as he returned the kiss with fervor.
She wasted yesterday, she won't waste tomorrow.
