Notes Found Taped to Bicycle Seats in the Parking Garage of an Apartment Complex
To the idiot who chained their bike to mine and made me late for work because I had to walk because I couldn't get my bike out of the rack: sod off. I will call the manager if it happens again. -R.K.
To the girl (I assume you're a girl from your handwriting) who complained about my bike being chained to yours: May I remind you that I am not the one who took the last available space in the bike rack.
How is it my fault that bloody Willow Ridge Management doesn't have enough spaces on their bloody bike rack? Chain yours to the pillar or something.-R.K.
For someone who threatened to call the manager on me, you don't seem to know the rules very well. Chaining my bike to the pillar will get me fined. Chaining it to yours will not.
You can pay me back for the hour of pay I lost for being late, how's that for a fine, you wanker? - R.K.
Look, I'm sorry I made you late. What's your name and where do you live? I can come over and we can talk things through, okay?
Like I'm going to tell some stranger what my name is.
Dear Rose: Expect me at your front door at #15 at three o'clock tomorrow to discuss the bicycle matter and hopefully come to a mutually satisfactory compromise.
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT MY NAME?
Dear Rose: If you don't want people finding out your name, don't sign your notes with your initials. It turns out one of my flatmates is dating one of your flatmates and all I had to do was ask him if he knew a girl in the building with the initials "R.K." By the way, I was quite sad not to be able to meet you yesterday. Perhaps it was simply a bad time?
I have a class at three, idiot. And Viltė is the only one of my flatmates who's dating anyone that I know of and there's no way you could have gotten my name from her.
Yes, that's her. She's a lovely young lady. Alfred is very lucky... But about the bike. How does Saturday morning sound? ;-)
DEAR MERCIFUL HEAVEN YOU'RE FRANCIS BONNEFOY.
What tipped you off? The charm that shines through even my written words?
You're Alfred's idiot roommate. Who else could it be?
Kiku?
Kiku isn't this stupid. Viltė says you tried to hit on her during her date with Alfred.
Of course I did, she's so beautiful and kind that I couldn't resist! Al got me back for it anyway...
You're disgusting.
And you have all the charm of a dead sea slug. You'll never find a husband if you continue to act so uncouth, ma cherie!
You know what? I'm going to ask Viltė what your address is so I can go down there and kick your ass!
Al says you waited for me in the rain for a couple of hours - I'm touched. I do have classes pretty much all day on Fridays, just for future reference.
One day, Bonnefoy. One day, when you least expect it, I will be there and you wON'T KNOW WHAT HIT YOU!
I look forward to it. :D
I hate you.
Epilogue - two years later:
To the idiot who still insists on locking his bike to mine even when the rack is practically empty: Happy anniversary, wanker.
To the girl who has a key to my lock so it doesn't really matter that much: I love you too.
I got bored and this wrote itself. I think it's kind of cute but whatever... short fluffy drabble thing is short. Yes, it's FrUk, and yes, I like Rose better than Alice for England's name, and yes, that is AmeLiet in the background. And yes, I'm about half-way done with the next chapter of подкидыш, so you don't have to yell at me for not working on it. I am.
~Firebird
