The story of Bella Swan and Jacob Black.
What could have been…? After Eclipse.
Chapter 1: Decision.
After that fight; where Jacob and Edward had risked their lives for me, I knew I was a terrible person- a terrible person for letting them risk everything and everyone. And most of all for letting Jacob kiss me; I realised I did love him- more than I'd ever imagined and now I hated myself. I had to choose between my first ever true love; Edward- a vampire or Jacob my best friend whose pain I could not stand, whom I loved- a werewolf. I contemplated tossing a coin and decided that wasn't the best way to go.
My fingers stumbled to turn my lamp on; Edward wasn't there. I told him not to come; I needed to sort things out through my head and it looked like I would need the whole night-if not longer to choose. I hated decisions but once I chose one there was no stopping me then; like my decision to come to Forks. I hoped Edward would choose that I was not worth it and leave happily without me. It would make things so much easier on my decision-but I guess it would not happen they would stick by me until the very end. I weighed up the pros and cons of each Edward and Jacob. I could stay with Edward forever, on the other hand I would have to leave my mother; Renee and Charlie. On the other hand Jacob might lose control; like what Sam had done to Emily, but I wouldn't have to change I would still have my parents and friends. I drew the conclusion that if I was thinking about this logically I would not choose between a Vampire and Werewolf. I would choose someone normal. But I was in love with both of them, and suddenly the coin toss seemed like a solution. I then realised I was half conscious and my eyelids were falling on me heavy, I should NOT have taken the medicine to try and get me off to sleep. It was to late now. I flicked my lamp off and drifted into a sleep…
The next thing I knew was I was sitting up in bed with a cold sweat; I looked at the alarm clock it read; five-forty-five. I automatically got out of bed and dressed in some old sweats. I pulled my jacket over me and slipped into my ugg boots. It all took around three minutes. I tried to creep down the hall; not wanting to wake Charlie- who was passed out on the couch after watching the big 'game'. I climbed into my truck and saw a darkened figure in the rear view mirror. I jumped and quickly tried to grab my pepper spray Charlie had given me. It was wedged under the driver's seat and I did not want to take my eyes off the rear view mirror. The dark figure disappeared. My heart started to race a hundred mile per hour. Come and get me, that way I don't have to make a decision; a voice in my head was telling me the other was; you will leave them both heartbroken and suicidal. My truck passenger door then flung open at one hundred miles per hour.
"Bella" the voice greeted with much to elegance to be a gang member or an ordinary person. It was then I managed to see the figure more clearly; short pixie-like hair, her scent of strawberries and almonds and her teeth inhumanly white.
"Alice" I gasped relieved and also annoyed. "What are you doing here?" I demanded.
"You forget, Bella?" she questioned pointing to her head.
"Damn" I mumbled. "Does Edward know you are here?"
"No, whatever he doesn't know won't hurt him" she replied playfully.
"Alice, leave… me… alone" I sighed and paused, emphasising each word.
"Oh." She then closed her eyes focussing on one of her visions her eyes snapped open. "I see…" she said slowly. I noticed a complete change in her mood, she was quite upset.
"What is it Alice?" I asked almost immediately. She gave me a horrified look.
"Bella" her voice was almost shaky, if she could cry I am sure tears would have been in her eyes.
"ALICE, TELL ME" I screamed at her, trying to grab her arm and shake her. She then leapt up from my truck and was gone in two seconds flat. "Sorry, Bella" were her last words.
I was angry; what could have Alice seen that was so bad. My temper empowered me with energy I put my foot as hard as I could on the pedal. I was now clear where I was heading. Tears weld up in my eyes as the vision Alice had seen hit home. I kept on driving as fast as I could blubber and yelping out. I could taste the salt in my mouth, but I did not care I had to keep on pushing on. My truck was going sixty five and that was the probable limit of it- after all I did not want to be totally helpless and stuck. The terrible vision Alice had seen was my future must've changed. I was no longer going to be a vampire or marry Edward. In frustration I pulled the engagement ring off my finger Edward had given me and I unwound the window-it only went down halfway. The air had a sharp bite to it, my shaky hand that held the engagement ring let go of it. I was driving to La Push. I was going to Jacob's house. I was going to tell him, how much I loved him. The end. The decision was now made. I made it to the small house I had painful memories in when Edward was away. But know those memories had faded and know it was time to make some memories of my own.
I carefully walked to the front door. I was hesitant, not sure if I should knock, but my fist was already clenched I brought it up to the door and banged my fist against it until I had bruised knuckles. The door swung open furiously and I saw Jacob's hard face, then it turned soft when he realised who it was.
"Bella" he said excitedly with a big ear to ear grin.
"Hey, Jake" I said trying with enthusiasm.
"What's wrong, Bella" his face was now twisted with concern he had obviously spotted the blotchiness on my face.
"Nothing" I mumbled. "Where is Billy?" I asked trying to change the subject.
"He is out" Jacob replied, taking my hand. "Come in."
I walked through the small kitchen with the big wooden oak table and Jacob lead me into his room. I sat on the long bed next to him.
"Why are you here, Bella?" he questioned the hard cover coming back into his face.
"I chose you" I managed to choke out.
The hard mask fell off in front of my eyes. And it was the Jacob I was used to see, before he changed.
"You. Love me?" he said his eyes intent with love and passion. "More than the blood-Edward, I mean" he said now cupping his hands on my cheeks. The wetness now dried up because of the heat he radiated.
"Yes." I said, I was so sure.
He leaned into me. "Am I allowed too?" he asked. His bare chest was now up against my coat, making my hear race and I felt flustered. I looked into his dark melting eyes.
"Kiss me, Jacob" I whispered into his ear.
His mouth was now hovering over mine. He breathed out a little breath, which made my lips tingle and made my body almost react violently. He gently brushed his lips against mine. It was not like the last time I had kissed him- a lot of force was involved then; this was gentle, pleading and almost romantic. We kept on kissing with the same pace and the same amount of force. That is when I could not take it any longer; I realised I was already starting to sweat because of Jacob's body heat-I was shaking and I think I was coming close to a heat stroke or fainting.
"Jacob" I mumbled, unwillingly braking off.
"What?" he seemed annoyed but also eager to kiss me again and again.
"I'm too hot" I replied.
"Yes you are" he chuckled lightly.
"That wasn't a statement about me" I mumbled. Jacob seemed to ignore my mumbling and started to lean toward me again. I was starting to breathe unevenly and that is when I realised was having a heat stroke. I put one hand in front of me; it was shaking violently and I gently pushed Jacob's bare chest away. Damn it, I mentally thought as I realised Jacob was made of iron. I cast my mind back to when I almost broke my whole hand punching him in the face. A fractured knuckle I thought.
"JACOB!" I yelled mentally.
"What?" he looked confused. Isn't this what you want Bella?" he questioned. You wanted me to kiss you." He emphasised the kiss word a lot.
A slight grin flashed across my face I yanked my jacket off. I was so caught up in the moment, I completely forgot about Edward and Alice. I was happy now, with Jacob.
"Now where we?" I questioned very smug. I was grinning happily and Jacob now came at me sliding his hand on my waist. I slowly lay down and Jacob followed, he was careful not to crush me. I was not strong and apparently very breakable. He slowly leaned all of his weight on one side of the bed, the bed was almost on a tilt. He let his finger very gently brush down the side of my check and slowly kissed my neck. I couldn't help but let out a little moan. I wasn't defeated yet- no he did not know what I was capable of…
