Sirius was extremely bored. Not just extremely, but painfully bored. Everyone was in an Order meeting, and he just had to be there. Sometimes, Dumbledore was sitting beside him, Dumbledore on his other side at the head of the table, McGonagall across from him, and Snape by her. And he was bored! He gave a pitiful, low keening whine and banged his head on the table before him. Startling everyone around him.
"Sirius?" Remus asked disapprovingly. The meeting continued, somewhat, whilst Sirius continued to whine.
"I'm bored!" he let out, "help me become un-bored!" he whispered to the exasperated Remus.
"Un-bored is not a word padfoot." Remus sighed.
"Moooooooooooooooooony! It so is! You put un in front of bored and make un-bored! Put a dash in it if you're so inclined."
"It still isn't a word." Remus stated. Sirius lifted his head up, looked at the bowl of fruits in front of him, and grinned evily. Before anyone knew what had happened, and before Remus could stop him, Sirius had chucked a banana straight at the middle of Snape's forhead.
"Yes!" he crowed.
"Black, was there a particular reason you have accosted me... with a banana?" Snape hissed through clenched teeth.
"Why yes, Snivellus. Because I was bored." he replied simply.
"This isn't one of those painful absolutely nothing to do but annoy, prank, and cause other people bodily harm, boreds is it?" Remus asked, wincing at the resulting thoughts.
"Isn't that what boredom is?" Sirius asked, throwing an apple at Mad Eye and cheering in delight when it hit it's mark. Remus groaned and apologized profusely to the irate Auror that was conveniently sitting beside him.
"Sirius, How exactly should I go about making you... un-bored in the middle of an IMPORTANT Order meeting?" Remus asked, but immediately regretted it when a thoughtful, but somewhat malicious grin split his face.
"Well." he started, throwing a pear at Tonks, then laughing when she glared at him from her perch at the other end of the table.
"Remember what you did that one time? A day before the full moon?" Sirius asked. Remus looked confused for a bit, before blushing.
"Oh no. Not here, not now." Remus said sternly, still blushing. Sirius threw an orange at Dubledore himself, leaving said person dazed with a befuddled look on his face. Sirius laughed and the Order meeting continued, if not slightly chaotic with Sirius throwing fruit.
"Yes, here and now." Sirius gave a wolfish grin.
"Sirius." Remus warned, surprised when he was rewarded with a coconut to his head. Sirius started laughing, almost maniacally. Remus glared, grabbed Sirus's head, and smashed another coconut on his head. Sirius whined while silent cheers rang around the table.
"Why'd you do that?" Sirius complained, giving Remus his best puppy eyes.
"I was a Marauder once too you know. And I am not above revenge." Remus answered, unaffected.. Sirius grinned and then kissed Remus, pulling back to admire his handiwork.
The next thing anyone knew, Remus was beating Sirius over the head with a pineapple. It was a frightening sight, given Remus's usual gentle nature. Sirius cowered in the corner of the room while Remus yelled at him and beat him with the pineapple.
"Fucking horny bastard!" Remus screamed when Sirius tackled him to the ground. Making the pineapple go flying, just barely missing Dumbledore, where it splattered across the wall, dousing the room with pulverized pineapple bits. The order meeting abruptly ended as the members dispersed.
"I'm sorry." Sirius pouted. Remus glared at pouted then grinned and leaned forward, kissing Remus sweetly, before hugging him, slipping a piece of chocolate in his mouth.
"I sowwy." he jutted his lip out and Remus sighed, but allowed the cuddling.
"I forgive you." he answered, grudgingly.
And so, no one would go in that room until some rather powerful scougifys were cast, and Dumbledore was banned from ever placing a basket of fruits on the order meeting table ever again.
Owari Yay for another crack fic! They just don't end, do they?
Ja Ne
