Here it is. The sequel I promised you all. It returns, with a vengeance! Who said that, anyway? I'm pretty psyched for Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which I pre-ordered, and Phoenix Wright, Trials and Tribulations, which I did not. Yet. Trust me, if I can, I will. Because if I don't get that game when it comes out…I will die. Anyway, antics return, and so…whatever. Just read the story. I'm hungry. I warn you. This is far less normal than the last one.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
Your favorite author, a.k.a Rain the Magnificent, which you shall always remember me by no matter how many times my name changes, presents…
Once Upon a Saturday, The Sequel
Summary: Ichigo wakes up one Saturday morning to discover something's amiss…
It was a Saturday morning much like any other. Ichigo was sleeping in, because…well, it was what he did. Slept in. It should have been a relaxing day. Key words, should have been. As you can already tell, that was not to be so.
Ichigo woke up that morning to the sound of…well, it wasn't birds chirping. It was something entirely different.
The sound of a chainsaw rattled through the house. Screaming downstairs accompanied the noise. Ichigo sat up, blinked, and then realized something. Something…was amiss.
Yes, please tell us what set you off on that train of thought, Ichigo? The sound of the chainsaw, maybe? Anyway, Ichigo shot out of bed and down the stairs, where he stopped in the living room entrance, out of breath. He wondered with panic if there was some chainsaw murderer on the loose. That old man down the street always had looked suspicious…
But the noise had stopped. Ichigo looked around in confusion, wondering what was going on. And there, in the middle of the room, sat Rukia and his two sisters.
Of course, he thought irritably. Of course they would be responsible for something like that.
All three turned around simultaneously, wearing identical looks of terror on their faces.
"What is it now?" Ichigo groaned, tired of going through the same routine every day.
"We were just playing this game…" Rukia sounded completely stunned.
"It's…so scary!" said his sisters together.
Ichigo glanced at the game case on the floor. "…Resident Evil?"
The three girls nodded.
Looking at the screen, Ichigo noticed the chainsaw guy. He sighed. "I got up for this?"
"Awww, he was worried about us!" Rukia had quickly shaken herself out of her stupor and was back to her old annoying self. At that comment, his sisters snickered.
"I don't need this," Ichigo moaned, making for the stairs and the safety of his bedroom. Unfortunately, it was not to happen. For following him was none other than Rukia.
"Iiiiichigo," she sang, "whatcha up to?"
"Bed," Ichigo grunted, finding it easier to answer in monosyllables.
"You're so boring, Ichigo," Rukia huffed. "You never do anything fun. Your sisters played video games with me. How come you never play video games with me?"
Ichigo groaned. Apparently, Rukia had chosen that morning to be especially annoying. "You call being scared out of your wits fun?"
"Oh, but it was very fun, Ichigo," Rukia informed him. "All except for the parts with the zombies. That was scary. And the chainsaw guy. That was horrifying. And-"
"You mean the whole thing," said Ichigo.
"No, I don't," Rukia said stubbornly. "I mean the parts that were scary."
"…the whole thing." Ichigo began to make his way up the stairs, not wanting to get into another stupid argument with Rukia but unable to let the thing go.
"No," Rukia insisted. "Leon wasn't scary. He was really, really cool." To Ichigo's dismay, she followed him, babbling on about Leon. "Too bad you aren't that cool, Ichigo. But you could never match up to Leon's coolness."
"Whatever." Ichigo, frankly, did not care whether or not he had the potential of matching Leon's "coolness". He'd made it to the top of the stairs. Escape was in sight.
"Don't you run away from me, Ichigo." Rukia saw it, too. "I hate it when you do that!"
Frankly, Ichigo didn't care whether or not Rukia hated his running away from her. All he cared about was getting away from her incessant chattering. He reached for the door knob…turned it…the door was opening…
And that was when Rukia screamed. Piercingly. Ears ringing, Ichigo turned around to see what was the matter. All he saw was Rukia pointing at his room. He turned back around and searched for the cause of the ear-splitting shriek.
There, in the middle of his room, sat a white rabbit.
"I-chi-go!" screeched Rukia. "It…it…it…"
Ichigo stared at the thing, one eyebrow raised in annoyance. A stupid rabbit. But Rukia wasn't done.
"Ichigo!" She grabbed his arm. "Ichigo, do you know what that is?"
"A rabbit," Ichigo grouched, attempting to shake her off.
"It's…it's…it's…Chappy."
Ichigo froze, horrified. Chappy…that stupid, stupid, stupid rabbit. In Ichigo's book, of all rabbits, Chappy was the stupidest and most annoying of the lot. Unfortunately, Rukia's book was somewhat different than Ichigo's.
"Ichigo, quick, grab it! Grab it!" Rukia had started jumping up and down, still clutching Ichigo's arm. He felt his neck crack as he was jolted around.
Ichigo was adamant. (Not adamantite.) "No."
Rukia, however, was not to be dissuaded that easily. "Yes!"
"No! Let go of me!"
"Do it."
"If I do, will you let go of me?"
Rukia contemplated this. "Yes."
"Fine." Ichigo crept forward, ready to tackle the stupid rabbit. And then…it turned. And looked right at him. With those horrifyingly beady little eyes. It then turned and disappeared into his closet.
"Ichigo!" Rukia wailed. "I want Chappy! You're letting it get away!"
Stomping to his closet, Ichigo was sure he had it cornered. After all, where could it go?
"Grab it, Ichigo!" Rukia shouted. She stood in the doorway, cheering Ichigo on. "Bash it on the head!" She paused. "But don't hurt it, okay?"
At this, Ichigo had to turn and give Rukia a look. "You want me to bash the thing on the head…without hurting it."
"Didn't you hear me?"
Shaking his head, Ichigo muttered a "whatever" and turned back to finish the job. He crept closer…closer…closer…and jumped through the closet to nab the little beastie!
Unfortunately, the little beastie was not there. This caused Ichigo to become disoriented, resulting in him crashing through the back of the closet, making a giant hole in the…ozone layer! Okay, not really. Making a giant hole in the wall. Which he presently fell through.
The last thing he heard was Rukia screaming "Ichigo!" loud enough to wake the dead.
And you know what? She just might have.
Out in the streets, a major commotion was going down. People were cowering in doorways, under cars, in dumpsters, all to get out of the way of a certain someone and his certain cell phone.
Kuchiki Byakuya marched through the streets like a madman, on the search for the one thing that continued to enrage him. The cell phone. The prank calls still had not stopped, and he was getting angry. All right, he was beyond angry. He had vowed that he would personally crush every last cell phone in existence.
A woman screamed as Byakuya descended on her, ripping the cell phone from her hand. He proceeded to crush it in his fist. One down. A bazillion more to go.
No matter, nothing was impossible for Kuchiki Byakuya.
"The Gang" sat around a picnic basket, enjoying such picnic foods as watermelon and sandwiches. Oh, yes. And cupcakes.
Yachiru pressed a button on a pink cell phone, giggling. Speed Dial 1. She pressed the 'speakerphone' button.
The group listened intently to the oh-so-familiar ringing of the cell phone. Although annoying, it was highly satisfying for this group of people.
"I wonder when he's going to answer this time?" Gin mused, creepy smile…smiling creepily.
"Who cares?" moaned Momo. "Nothing has worth! Nothing!"
Hitsugaya stared at her, inching away as she began attacking the ground with a fork.
"Sh-sh-sh!" Yachiru bounced up and down. "It's picking up!"
The group leaned in, straining to hear the phone.
"YOU!" came a deranged voice from the other end. "I will hunt you down and personally---"
At that moment, Renji came walking up to this lovely gathering. "Not this again. What do you guys think you're doing, anyway? Do you want to be tortured?"
Yachiru giggled. Hitsugaya yawned. Momo stabbed the ground and moaned.
Staring at Momo, Renji asked what her problem was. No one knew the answer.
"She's just got problems," Gin said, stuffing his wide grin with watermelon. "Yum."
Yachiru had turned the phone off, bored with Byakuya's string of profanity. "Ooh, guys, guess what? I've got a great idea!"
Everyone, even Renji, (though he tried to look uninterested), leaned in to hear Yachiru's 'great idea'.
"I was reading about this thing where people get a call from the number 999-999-9999. And if they answer it, bad stuff's supposed to happen." She bounced some more.
"I see where you're going with this," said Gin thoughtfully. "But…none of us has the number 999-999-9999."
They were silent for a moment. And then the nature of the silence changed. No, none of them had a phone with the number 999-999-9999...but there was one person…
I hope this is sufficient to slake your thirst for my weird and wacky wonderfulness. It's not long…but I had to stop there. To create suspense, you see. So now. If you ever want to see what happens next, you'll review, or else. Nevermind that I haven't thought of the "or else" part. Don't you dare come around asking "or what?" I'll beat you, I swear I will. Then I'll press DELETE. Hah. Now. Off with you. Go review.
