A/N: For Cheeky Slytherin Lass' Character Drabble Collection Competition with a Twist where the twist is that every prompt starts with your character's initials. My character is Sirius Black, therefore there will be five S drabbles and five B drabbles. Each drabble will be 500 words or less.
This entire collection is inspired by Andrea Gibson's poem Maybe I Need You. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard (as most of her poems are) and I strongly recommend that you watch her perform on YouTube. She's amazing.
Each section will have a quote from somewhere in the poem, though they may not be in order.
And, finally, I dedicate this whole fic to the wonderful Izzie, aka OnTheSideOfTheAngels, because I love her and she loves RemusSirius almost as much as I do. (But only almost.)
1. safe
Love isn't always magic.
Sometimes it's just melting,
or it's black and blue
where it hurts the most...
Azkaban is cold. It is dark. It is hollow and empty and Sirius hates it with every fibre of his being, but he is trapped here.
He is imprisoned here.
It's been two days and already he is he cracking, breaking into tiny pieces of whywhywhy and James and Remus but never Peter, no, no, never him. He huddles up in the corner of his dank cell and he sings the names quietly to himself. Remus, Remus, Remus gets caught on a loop and Sirius is so, so sorry for what he has done. And for what he hasn't done. And for what he should have done but didn't because he was too scared, too proud, too Sirius.
He is sorry for being a mass of contradictions and never being consistent enough to tell Remus that he is sorry, he's bloody sorry.
Because here in Azkaban, when he is safe in the knowledge that Remus is not, was not, will never be, a traitor...Sirius is sorry more than anything.
He remembers schoolboy kisses and quick caresses and then falling apart because he was too blind to see the rat was a rat, and Remus?
Remus was a friend. Remus was a protector.
(Remus was a lover.)
Sirius shivers.
Azkaban is cold. It is dank and it is empty but Sirius is thankful he is here because he knows that if Remus ever saw him again, he would kill him. And Sirius wouldn't blame him.
So, here, Sirius is trapped.
But, here, Sirius is safe.
And, mostly, here, Sirius is sorry.
"Remus..."
