Edd was in his room, labeling everything. He labeled the lamp. He labeled his books. He labeled his desk, bed and pillow. He labeled the floor and his plant cactus, Jib. He was counting his ants and looking at them through a magnifying glass.
"Oh, I like what you've done with that tunnel," Edd said, "4'831, 4'835...that's everybody. 4'837."
He put a label on the glass that said 'Ants 4'837.' Just then, the doorbell rang downstairs. He looked down the hall. Standing a few feet behind him was his new step-sister, Bella. Standing by her feet was her pet cat, Felice. Edd walked down the stairs and opened the door, but no one was there. He closed the door and went back upstairs. Bella watched him.
"Chi è stato, Doppio D?" Bella asked. Edd started looking through a book called 'Italian to English Dictionary.'
"Oh, um, no one," Edd said, "Nessuno." The doorbell rang again, "Huh?"
He raced back down the stairs and opened the door again. No one was there, so he tested the doorbell to see if it was working correctly. He went back up the stairs and the doorbell rang again. He went down and opened the door.
"Now, please-" He began, getting annoyed, but a bucket of water fell on his head. He closed the door and slowly walked up the stairs with the bucket on his head. The doorbell rang yet again and he rushed down to answer, but got slapped in the face with a fish. He walked back upstairs, holding his nose. Bella sniffed the air and smiled lightly.
"Faccio odore di pesce?" She asked. The doorbell rang once more and Edd ran down the stairs. Standing outside the door was his friend Eddy.
"Hey Double D," Eddy greeted, "What took you so long?"
"Oh, hello Eddy," Edd said, relieved it wasn't another prank, "So, what are you doing? Hey, was that you ringing my doorbell?"
"Who, me?" Eddy asked, "Nah. So, what's new?"
"Oh, well, I do have some news," Edd said. Bella was watching from the top of the stairs, "Bella, vieni qua, per favore."
Bella slowly walked down and hid a little behind Edd.
"Eddy, this is my new step-sister, Bella," Edd said, "Bella, this is my amico, Eddy."
"Hey, s'up?" Eddy said.
"Ciao," Bella waved nervously. She looked at Eddy and blushed slightly, hiding behind Edd more.
"She just moved here from Italy this morning," Edd explained, "She doesn't speak English yet."
"Oh, ok," Eddy said. He came inside and they walked up to Edd's room. Edd opened the door and Eddy went to enter.
"Wait, Eddy," Edd said, "You know the rules."
He pulled a pair of bunny slippers out of a box labeled 'shoes' next to his door. There was another pair as well. He picked those ones up and gave them to Bella. She put them on and giggled.
"Questi sono davvero morbido," She said, smiling.
"Aw, come on, Edd," Eddy groaned, "Not again." Eddy took the second pair of slippers and put them on, "Alright. Sheesh, stupid slippers."
"And I'll dispose of these," Edd said, picking up Eddy's shoes and setting them in the box.
"Ok, the slippers are on now," Eddy said, "Woah!"
Edd started vacuuming Eddy. Bella hissed and jumped. Felice did as well.
"Il mostro di vuoto! Esso ci ha seguito, Felice!" Bella yelled in Italian.
"I'll have you clean in no time, Eddy!" Edd said over the roar of the vacuum, "Almost done!" He shut the vacuum off.
"Gee, thanks, Edd," Eddy said sarcastically.
"After you, Eddy," Edd said.
"Yeah, after me," Eddy said, walking in Edd's room. Edd and Bella followed, Bella eyeing the vacuum left outside in the hall. Edd was finishing up labeling everything. Eddy laughed and started jumping on the bed.
"Woo-hoo!" He cheered.
"EDDY!" Edd cried. Eddy stuck to the ceiling as Edd walked over to fix the bed, "Messy messy messy….Please don't do that, Eddy."
Eddy fell down and growled. Laughing, he pulled the label off of the bunny slipper and put it on the bed, taking the label that said 'Sack' and putting it on the slipper.
"Eddy!" Edd said, "Please return those labels to their rightful designations." He labeled the chair.
"Alright, alright!" Eddy said, "Don't have a bird."
He peeled the slipper label off of the bed and put 'toilet' there instead. He laughed quietly.
"Are you done yet?" Eddy asked, "Let's go get Ed!"
"Please be patient," Edd said. Bella sat on the bed, "I have just one more-"
He placed a label titled 'Magnifying Glass' on the desk, then gasped.
"It's gone!" He gasped. He pulled Eddy over, who looked bored, "Eddy! Someone took my magnifying glass! I feel so violated."
"Cosa sta succendeno?" Bella asked. She looked at the label, but couldn't read it.
"Maybe you misplaced it," Eddy suggested.
"Never!" Edd cried, pushing Eddy over by accident. He leaned on the desk, "What has become of this world? Is nothing sacred? Oh, everything is soiled!" He pushed everything on the desk into the trash can. He held on to the skull.
"Perché si buttare via perfettamente roba buona?" Bella asked.
"Who would do such a thing?" Edd asked, "Who would violate the sanctity of somebody's room? With their filthy hands!"
Edd dropped the skull back on the desk. He leaned on Eddy.
"I feel sick!" Edd moaned, "I feel nauseous! I can't breathe!"
Eddy took Edd's bed and slammed it over his head.
"Thank you," Edd said, "I needed that."
"Anytime, pal," Eddy said, "You know, you can't have somebody touching your stuff. It just isn't right. Ok, race you to Ed's place!"
Edd and Eddy raced out the front door, Eddy jumping over Edd. Bella followed quickly, not sure what was going on.
When they arrived at Ed's house, he was watching a monster movie in his room. Eddy and Edt snuck up to the window.
"There he is," Eddy snickered. Bella watched from a few feet back. Eddy opened the window and jumped inside, slamming it on Edd's face. He yelped in pain and Eddy shushed him.
"Quit fooling around!" Eddy whispered. He snuck over to Ed and prepared to jump on him, but Ed pulled him into a one armed hug around his neck.
"Hey, Eddy!" Ed said, giving Eddy a noogie, "Hey, what's up?"
"Dog pile!" Edd cried, jumping on them. They wrestled for a second before Ed had them both under his arm.
"Hiya, Double D!" Ed greeted, "You guys make me laugh!"
"Si ricorda della mia stanza, eh, Felice?" Bella said as she climbed in the window.
"Hey, who are you?" Ed asked, looking over.
"Ed, this is my new step-sister, Bella," Edd explained. Bella waved, "She moved in from Italy, and doesn't speak English yet."
"Hey, new friend!" Ed laughed and pulled Bella over into a hug, "Hi there!"
Bella giggled and hugged back. She may not understand English, but you didn't need to to know what hugs meant. Suddenly, the room started shaking as someone stomped down the stairs. Sarah burst in the door, growling. She walked over to Ed.
"WHERE IS SHEEE?!" Sarah yelled, furious.
"What? Who?" Ed asked.
"My dolly," Sarah said simply, "Polly Poo Poo, that's who."
Felice yowled as Sarah jumped over her and started tearing at Ed's chair. She hung from two rockets from the ceiling.
"I need my dolly," Sarah growled.
"But Sarah, I didn't touch her," Ed said.
"Liar!" Sarah shouted, jumping on Ed's head, "Don't you lie to me, you dolly stealer!"
Ed was still holding on to his friends as he started spinning in circles.
"You gotta love these family moments," Eddy choked out.
"Questa ragazza ha problemi di rabbia per rivaleggiare con la mia," Bella gasped, trying to escape Ed's grip.
"If you don't tell me where she is, I'm gonna get REALLY angry!" Sarah said. They crashed onto the floor. Sarah fell off of her brother.
"So, who's this?" Sarah said, noticing Bella for the first time.
"Um, my new step-sister, Bella," Edd said.
"Uh, Ed?" Eddy said to Ed.
"Yeah Eddy?" Ed asked.
"As much as I really love the smell of your stinky pits," Eddy began, "CAN YOU LET GO OF MY HEAD, NOW?!"
Edd looked at Sarah with hearts in his eyes.
"You know, someone has touched my stuff, also," Edd said.
"Really?" Sarah said, not really caring.
"Don't you see what's going on here?" Eddy asked, "It's epidemical! Double D's magnifying glass-" He pointed at Edd, "Sarah's doll-" Eddy shoved Sarah away, "Someone, or something, is touching everybody's stuff. We gotta spread the word. We have to warn everyone that there's a-a, a serial toucher is on the loose!"
"How are we gonna do that, Eddy?" Ed asked. Eddy got an idea and his hair turned to money signs.
"Hey! I know just what to do!" Eddy said. He laughed.
Bella and the Eds were outside. Ed and Edd were each holding fliers, while Eddy stood on a wooden crate and yelled through a traffic cone.
"Attention, please!" Eddy yelled, "Hey!" He got the attention of the kids, "Beware of the toucher! Serial toucher on the loose! Hide your stuff! Hide your valuables! Serial toucher on the loose!"
"That dirty toucher took my Dolly Poo Poo!" Sarah said.
"It's true!" Her friend Jimmy said, "Won't somebody help us?"
The kids started chattering loudly.
"Quiet, quiet!" Eddy said, "Everyone just relax! We've got it all under control!"
"Yeah? What can you dorks do about it?" Kevin asked.
"Well, we dorks," Eddy began, getting in Kevin's face and yelled through the traffic cone, "Are gonna solve this mystery!"
"Ha, I'd pay money to see that!" Kevin scoffed.
"Me too," Sarah agreed. The kids mumbled in agreement.
Bella and the Eds were in the lane. Eddy was pacing back and forth.
"What do you propose we do now?" Edd asked.
"Ok boys!" Eddy said, "Uh, and Bella, I guess. Here's the lane, ok?" He drew a line in the dirt with his heel, "We'll start here, then we'll cross the street over by the corner store…"
Ed was laughing as Edd and Eddy tied something to him.
"Ed, please don't move," Edd said, "This is delicate work."
"There's no way the toucher can resist this," Eddy said. Ed had a 'Don't Touch!' sign around his neck, which was connected to a string, "Perfect!"
"Someone's coming," Edd whispered. He, Eddy, and Bella jumped behind the nearby bush, Edd holding the long string. Ed was still laughing.
"Ed, don't move!" Eddy ordered, "And stop giggling!"
Ed finally did so and sat as still as a statue. Kevin rode up on his bike.
"Dork!" He said before riding off.
"Dork?" Ed repeated.
"Ssh, Ed, someone else is coming," Eddy said.
"Whatcha doing, Ed?" Jonny asked as he walked up, "Oh Ed, I'm liking your hair cut." He took a closer look, "What's that, Plank? You wanna feel, too? Ok."
Jonny rubbed Plank on Ed's face.
"Ed's been touched!" Eddy whispered to Edd, "Pull! Pull!"
Edd pulled on the string, causing many bells and alarms to go off around Ed, startling Jonny back.
"Doctor Toucher, I presume!" Eddy said, him and Edd pointing at Jonny. Bella did the same after a second.
"Woah, you guys are weird!" Jonny said.
"Get 'em!" Eddy said as Jonny began to run off. Eddy and Edd went to jump on him, but fell on the ground. Eddy got up and raced after Jonny, followed by Edd, "C'mon!"
Ed got up and ran the wrong way.
"Ed, this way!" Eddy called. Ed turned around and ran after his friends, Bella walking behind him. Jonny ran through the lane.
"He's getting away!" Eddy said, "Follow me!"
Eddy jumped over the fence gate, which Edd then opened so him and Bella could pass through. Edd pulled the gate shut and Ed twisted through the small hole. Edd, Eddy, and Bella ran past the street light, but Ed crashed into it three times before Eddy pulled him along. The Eds tripped Jonny as he ran past, making him fall.
"They got me, old buddy," Jonny panted, "But you...you can still...make it! Plank, ruuuuuun!"
Jonny threw Plank into the air, but he landed on Jonny's out stretched arms.
"Save yourself," Jonny sighed as Eddy grabbed his shirt, "Be nice!"
Eddy pulled Jonny along and Ed picked up Plank.
They were now in Eddy's garage. Jonny and Plank had wires attached to different parts of their bodies and were tied up against chairs. Ed pointed a flashlight at Jonny.
"Hey Jonny," Ed said, "Nice haircut. Double D's got a surprise for you. A lie detector."
Edd was messing around with a computer, toaster, and other stuff, all connected with some wires. He put some bread in the toaster.
"Rrready," Edd said.
"Better watch what you say, Jonny," Ed said.
"Yeah, Jonny," Eddy said. He was wearing sunglasses for some reason, "You wouldn't lie to your pals now, would ya?"
One of the lenses broke off. Eddy threw the ruined sunglasses off.
"Ed, light," Eddy said. Ed tossed Eddy the light, but it flashed off. Bella's eyes glowed yellow for a second but she quickly closed them. Eddy turned on the flashlight and pointed it at Jonny.
"Alright, Jonny," Eddy said, "Enough fooling around. So why don't you tell us where everybody's stuff is, hmm?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jonny said. A wire was attached to his tongue, so his speaking was muffled, "I didn't do anything!"
"What's the word, Double D?" Eddy asked. Edd sniffed the toast, still in the toaster.
"Inconclusive, Eddy," Edd said. Eddy growled in frustration. Bella was looking at the machine Edd had built in wonder.
"Well if you won't talk, maybe your friend will," Eddy said, turning Jonny's head so he was looking at Plank, "You must be the brains, huh? Where's the stuff, Planky? Fess up!"
Plank obviously said nothing.
"Oh, silent, huh?" Eddy asked. Eddy slapped Plank and pulled his hand back in pain, "AAAHHH! SPLINTERS!"
"Leave Plank alone, Eddy!" Jonny yelled. The toast popped out of the toaster. Edd sniffed it and started typing at the computer. He turned it to show the others that it said 'FALSE'
"As you can see, the board is lying!" Edd said.
"Well Planky, I think it's time we try other methods," Eddy said. He pulled out a water gun.
"Huh?" Jonny said.
"This'll make you swell up good," #Eddy said.
He started slowly dripping the water on Plank. Jonny gasped and groaned. Jonny closed his eyes and looked away. He looked back and his pupils started bouncing as he watched the water drops. He squirmed and crossed his legs. His eyes filled up with water and he looks like he had just sucked on something very, very sour.
"Ok, ok, I did it!" Jonny cried, "I took everyone's stuff! Now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroooom!"
"You heard him, boys, and Bella," Eddy said, snapping his fingers, "Case closed."
Jonny was bouncing down the street in a tire. Eddy held up a jar of quarters.
"So boys, what's big, round, costs a nickel?" Eddy asked.
"Jawbreakers!" Ed and Edd said happily. Bella tilted her head in confusion.
"Jaw...break...ers," She said.
"Very good, Bella," Edd smiled.
"Now away we go!" Eddy said, turning around and seeing Sarah and Jimmy.
"Now just a rotten minute," Sarah said, "I found my dolly under my bed."
"It's true," Jimmy said, "And here she is." He held out the doll, "See?"
"Excuse me, Eddy," Edd spoke, "Um, upon further inspection of my person, I seem to have come across-" He held it up, "My magnifying glass."
Jonny bounced past them in the tire. Eddy held up the jar again.
"That Eddy thinks he's so smart," Sarah said. She was pushing Jonny along in the tire, "We know you didn't do it, Jonny."
"Mank moo," Jonny mumbled thank you.
"Hang tight, Jonny, this won't hurt a bit," Sarah said, pushing Jonny down the hill.
Inside the candy store, the Eds rushing over to the jawbreakers, but Bella gasped happily and ran to the other side, towards a box with bars of white chocolate.
"Ooh, cioccolato bianco!" Bella said, bouncing, "È il mio preferito!"
Eddy looked over.
"Bella, over here," He said, "We're getting jawbreakers."
"Ma io voglio il cioccolato bianco!" Bella said. Edd looked through his Italian to English Dictionary.
"I think she wants the chocolate bars," Edd said. Bella nodded and held her hands together, as if asking 'Pleeeeease?'
"Ugh, alright," Eddy said and gave her a few on the quarters. She cheered happily and grabbed a white chocolate bar.
They all went outside after buying the candy and the Eds started sucking on the jawbreakers, while Bella unwrapped the chocolate bar and took a bite, smiling.
"This is good," Eddy said happily.
"Should we feel guilty about Jonny's predicament?" Edd asked.
"Nah, you know what they say," Eddy said, "A little childhood trauma builds character."
Suddenly, Jonny rolled past in the tire, knocking the Eds to the ground and the jawbreakers out of their mouths and down the street. They chased after them in a hurry. Bella watched and took a bite of the white chocolate.
"Di sicuro sono strani, ma che Eddy sicuro è carino," Bella said to Felice, sighing happily, "Penso di essere in amore."
