My Chance
By: xXxDaughteroftheKingxXx
AN: Writer's block sucks. I'm just saying.
Disclaimer: I don't own PJO/HoO.
Everywhere I look, people holding hands
When am I gonna get my chance at love?
You've watched them, laughing and playing with each other like they don't have a care in the world, and every time, you can't help but feel a bit annoyed at how bubbly they are together—gods, when they're together, they always act so unlike themselves. It's so…strange.
It hurts to know that you could've been the one laughing with him, not her. It hurts to know that you willingly gave up what could have been, because, while it might seem like a perfect possibility, it's not your destinies. Your destinies are intertwined…just not in the way you thought it would be.
And, it's nice to know that she doesn't totally hate you anymore—you think she might even like you as a friend now—but you still can't help but feel incredibly left out when you see couples together, holding hands, laughing, kissing. Even though you've sworn to stay away from that kind of stuff, your inner self still wants that kind of relationship…
Deep down inside, you want nothing more than to be in a relationship with someone—anyone, as long as he treats you right. You just want to love, and be loved at the same time. Can't you have that one thing?
No, you probably can't. Because, when your pledged yourself to a life of maidenhood, you gave that up. You really didn't think about your need of love—how badly you wanted that one little thing. All you were thinking about was that you couldn't have him, so might as well not have anyone. There are days where you regret that…like today, for example. But it's too late to change anything now, and you know you're going to be stuck spouting our your friends' death warrants for the rest of your miserable life…or at least until Apollo gets tired of you and chooses a new Oracle.
Right now, you wish you could give up the Oracle powers—you wish you could just break this rule and go off and find someone to love you, because that's the only thing you need. All you want is your chance to find someone like that.
But, you gave up that chance, and now, you're never going to get it back.
