Warnings for: blood, language.
Ruby didn't like the way Anna kept looking at her. Not in a "I'm going to fucking smite you, you worthless piece of garbage" way a demon could reasonably expect from an angel, in a weird, bordering indecipherable big-eyed concerned look that no, angels did not typically give demons.
Not that Ruby was complaining.
Except she sorta was.
Whatever. It wasn't like she'd been prepared to be saddled with a bizarrely affectionate angel who went all doe-eyed and dopey smiles whenever she was looking at Ruby. Even Ruby needed time to adjust to certain situations. Anna was one she just needed a little more time to figure out.
"Who was that?" Anna asked, those three little words Ruby had hoped Anna would not say to her. Not tonight.
Ruby sighed. Gobs of drying blood were in her hair, which she normally wouldn't care about but supposed she should for the angel's sake. She thumbed her tongue and tried combing it through her hair to make her meatsuit look more acceptable, to moderate success. Awesome. "That was Alastair's protegee," she eventually answered. "You remember Alastair, right? He trained that little bitch and she's almost half as good as he was, which means we'd be in deep shit if she caught us. She must be picking up where he left off when you zapped him: me dead and you bleeding in a warehouse somewhere."
"She knew you," Anna pointed out. Not a question Ruby could dance around.
"Everybody knows everybody in Hell," she retorted. "Small world, like Disneyland. Meet-and-greets are big down there. They all wanted a piece of me. Most of 'em got one."
Anna stared at her. For once, Ruby paid attention to driving. She was glad the rain was coming down so heavy. It gave her a good excuse to focus on the road.
"That's not what I meant," Anna said, painfully quiet in the car as rain kept thudding on the windows. Ruby wished that all the local radio stations didn't suck. Some noise would be nice.
"Ruby, I know you're a demon. I know you weren't always the way you are now. I wasn't, either. We both used to be different. If you don't want to talk about something from before, that's fine. I know that I'm probably the last person you'd want to talk to about that kind of thing."
Ruby's hands tightened imperceptibly on the wheel.
"But you should talk to someone you do trust," Anna said in that same quiet voice. "Because it bothers you. Because it upsets you. You try to hide so much…"
At this, Ruby flicked a quick side-glance at Anna. Anna caught her eyes with hers. Those stupidly empathetic eyes. Ruby hated the sudden wash of emotion they inflicted, the confusing, terrifying twist of pain and uncertainty and desire in her chest. She wished she could rip it all out of her the way Anna had ripped out her grace, before they continued their poisonous, probably fatal spread. This… working with an angel… living with her… caught between hope and knowing better… this relationship with this angel girl was the kind of slow, exquisite torture Lilith loved so much.
Anna reached out as if to a timid animal and laid her hand on Ruby's thigh. It promised salvation it couldn't deliver.
"I'm just saying that you don't need to hide yourself from me, Ruby. You're my friend and I'd never judge you. No one can judge you, after what you had to go through," Anna told her, kind and calm as always. Thoughts bubbled and died in Ruby's throat. She focused on the road. Anna focused on her. "I know it seems better to hold it inside. But that won't bring you any peace. It never does. You're locking yourself in with all that fear and anger… you'd feel better if you let yourself out."
"Wow," Ruby finally said. "You learned that whole speech from which of your psychiatrists again?"
Anna laughed, which was another weird thing angels weren't supposed to do that Anna actually did a lot. "Neither one, actually. But you'd be surprised how much it helped." She squeezed Ruby's thigh in a way that to Ruby's disappointment, did not make her horny. She would've welcomed horny over sad.
"Trying to drive," Ruby grumped instead.
Anna withdrew her hand and Ruby wished she hadn't said anything. "Sorry," Anna said with a smile. The silence that followed felt easy. Comfortable.
A nice Sunday night drive with my girlfriend, the angel, Ruby thought. She wasn't as bothered as she maybe should've been by how right that sounded.
