Fiction Faceoff

Episode 4: Calamity Mary vs Mami Tomoe

No research...just good old fashion bloodshed.

BEGIN!

The battle begins with Calamity Mary sitting on the couch of her hideout drinking whisky while examining the profile of another blonde haired gun wielding magical girl (that one being Mami Tomoe).

Mary: So, this is Mami Tomoe. Age is 15, date of birth is June 5th, and according to this source, she can summon an assload of guns at her disposal…

Mary opened another whisky bottle with her belly button, drank the entire bottle, and threw it out the window.

Mary: There can only be one blonde haired gunslinger magical girl in this world, and that girl is me, Naoko "Calamity Mary" Yamamoto.

Mary shot the bottle cap out of her belly button and exited out the door.

Mary: This is gonna be fun…

10 minutes later…

Mami had made it onto a rooftop of an abandoned building. She looked around the area and she found another blonde haired magical girl; this one was dress as a gunslinger.

Mary: Welcome sweetums. You must be Mami Tomoe.

Mami: And you're Calamity Mary. The gunslinger magical girl that works for the criminal syndicate of this town.

Mary gave off a smirk while holding her right hand on her right hip.

Mary: Listen sweet heart. There can only be one blonde haired gun wielding badass magical girl in this world, and that bitch is me. Calamity fucking Mary.

Mami: scoffs Don't make me laugh. You? Give me a break. You're no magical girl, you're a joke and a forty year old slut just trying to play dress up.

Mary started to get angry...and then laughed at Mami.

Mary: Look who's talking bitch. You're no different.

Mami: Oh really now? Magical girls are supposed to fight evil in order to protect the innocent, not join it and bring harm to the innocent. That's not what magical girls do. You're use your magic to commit crimes instead of helping people. Not only does that piss poor behavior bring shame to all magical girls, but it also-um...are you even listening?

Mary started laughing hysterically before closing her eyes and preparing to draw her revolvers.

Mary: Listen up, before we duel to the death to find out who the true blonde haired gun wielding magical girl is, there is something that I have to tell you: Don't oppose Calamity Mary, don't cause trouble for me, and most importantly...don't tick me off.

Mary pulled out one of her revolvers and fired at Mami. Mami dodges the bullets but almost gets hit by one of them. Mary gives off a sexy evil smirk as the fight truly begins.

Mami: So you want to play dirty huh? Very well then, take this you fatass slut!

Mami summoned two muskets at once and fired upon Mary. Mary starts running in a zigzag pattern to avoid the magic bullets. One bullet barely hits her left side.

Mary: (That was a close one, but I still got hit. I have to be careful...) You've had your fun Tomato, but it's my turn now!

Mami: It's Tomoe!

Mary: What the fuck ever.

Mary pointed her revolvers at Mami and started firing away at her. Mami tried dodging every single bullet; however, one hit her in the stomach...but failed to penetrate through the leather abdominal belt that covered her stomach. Mary couldn't believe what she had just saw.

Mary: Wha-How?! (Impossible! How did it not go through her?! It has to be that body belt covering her stomach. I need to look for a different weak spot…)

Mami: (That bullet didn't pierce through my stomach belt. But I cannot get cocky now! I may have more protection than she does, but that doesn't mean that she can't aim for my head…) So, that didn't go as you thought it would didn't it?

Mary: Alright, you asked for it!

Mary pulled out her AK-47 and started firing at Mami. Mami quickly evaded the rapid fire bullets from hell.

Mami: (Shit! She has more guns?!)

Mary then pulled out her sniper rifle and shot Mami in the butt. Mami fell to the ground and Mary walked up to her. Thinking Mami had died, Mary walks away. However, Mami is still alive. She pulls out her magic ribbon and whips Mary in the back so hard that she falls to the ground.

Mary: Ugh! What the he-

As she was trying to get up, Mary saw Mami moving extremely fast as the blonde haired twin drills girl thrusted her fist into her fat stomach very deeply. Mary grunts in pain as she clutches her aching belly and backs away from Mami.

Mary: Dammit…

Mary pulls out one of her magic revolvers, but is unable to fire it as Mami knocks it out of her hand with her magic ribbon. Mary tries to pull out her shotgun and machine gun, but Mami knocks those out of her hands as well. Mami then charges at Mary and rams the blunt end of one of her muskets into Mary's stomach. Enraged, Mary brings out a pair of brass knuckles and punches Mami in the face with the left one. She then uses both knuckles and beats Mami's stomach up to a bloody pulp. And finally, she pulls out her combat knife and thrusts it into Mami's stomach, barely penetrating Mami's belly belt. However, Mary leaves her knife stuck into Mami's abdomen.

Mary: Well little lady, it looks like Calamity Mary is the winner. Now...say goodnight.

However, before she could pull out one of her magic revolvers, she had noticed that she was tied up by Mami's magic ribbon.

Mary: No…

Mami then pulled out a flintlock pistol and shot Mary in her belly button. Mary gazed down at her navel, which started pouring blood like the water from Niagara Falls.

Mami: Nice try. But like I said, you're just a grown woman playing dress up. It's time to end this.

Mary: (I...I can't believe it...I've been defeated...by a little girl…)

Mami's magic ribbon untied Mary and transformed into a giant gun. Mary knew she wasn't getting out of this one alive. She closed her eyes and smiled as she knew that Mami had bested her. Mami charged up her gun.

Mami: Terra...FINALE!

The gun fired off a laser that put a big hole into Mary's head. Mary fell on her back, dead. Mami walked over to her defeated opponent's corpse and lied on Mary's stomach. Mami smiled as she put her arms against her head.

Mami: There can only be one blonde haired gun wielding magical girl. And that girl is me: Mami Tomoe.

Mami then fell asleep.

Winner: Mami Tomoe

Next Episode: Po vs Kuma (Kung Fu Panda vs Tekken)

Author's Note: This episode was made in honor of the release of the English dub for Magical Girl Raising Project. To check out the first episode, go to .com. One more thing: This was supposed to be longer, but due to time, I had to shorten it by 10% than what I had originally planned.