Disclaimer for my sanity:
This story was written in 2000, so don't be too harsh on me :P
If this isn't the right format for a story, go ahead and take it down. I've seen other works in this format on this website and they're great, but if there's a problem with it by all means remove it.
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I can't believe it! It's finally here! My fourth, and final, Newlywed Game fanfic. Yes, this is it. The grand finale. That's only one of the reasons this is a 'special edition' however. The other reasons unfold in the story itself, including the fact that it's only between Naoko's two most famous couples and it's a two-parter!
An important note before you begin: A character by the name of Kento is mentioned. He is a character which I made up for a few other fanfic series. Basically, he is the Outer Senshi's friend and has a strong love for Michiru. You need know no more for this fic, though, don't worry.
I rate this story R because of the content of the questions and answers.
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Newlywed Game: Special Edition - part 1

(The stage is decorated in a beach-like atmosphere, complete with sand and palm trees)

ANNOUNCER: Liiiiive from Hollywood, it's The Newlywed Game!

(audience cheers)

ANN: Here's the star of the show, Bob Eubanks!

(Bob walks out in a shirt with palm trees on it, colored shorts, and sunglasses. Audience cheers)

BOB: Hello and welcome to a special edition of The Newlywed Game. Today, our two most memorable, and eccentric, couples have returned for the third time. They will be battling it out, head to head, for the ultimate second honeymoon.

USAGI (previously kissing Mamoru, who is holding her): Actually, Bob, it will be our third honeymoon since we won the very first game.

MICHIRU (looks up from the other side of the stage from the floor where she was kissing Haruka): Excuse me, Usagi? WE won the first game. You two just got the tickets to the cruise.

HARUKA: And what do you mean it WILL be your third honeymoon? We're gonna win this!

MAMORU: No way! Usako and I have been studying each other's lives 24/7 ever since the last show.

HARU: That must have not given you much time for-

MICHI: Haruka!

USAGI: Well, I now know everything there is to know about Mamo-chan... Even the time he went skinny-dipping with his guy friends.

MAMO (face turning red. Drops Usagi to the sand): Usako!

BOB: Why do I have a really bad feeling about today's show?

USAGI (rubbing her bottom): Cause it's a two-day special with the four of us?

BOB: Well, there's our first correct answer of the game... Anyway, we do only have two days and many questions. Michiru, Usagi, will you two please go backstage to our soundproof booths?

USAGI: Do we have to? I hate it in there. It's so hot, and I feel every time I come out my Odangos shrink.

MICHI: I'll bet that's not the only thing that shrinks.

USAGI: Oh, shut up!

(Michiru and Usagi kiss Haruka and Mamoru respectively, which quickly turns into a contest of who can hold the kiss longer)

BOB: Girls! Come on!

(Usagi parts a split second after Michiru and teases her about it all the way backstage while Michiru sticks her tongue out at her)

USAGI: Keep your tongue in your mouth unless you intend to use it.

MICHI: Oh, believe me, I use it all the time.

MAMO (still dazed from the kiss): I love this show!

BOB: Mamoru, if you would please sit down now we can begin the show with our first question.

(Mamoru sits in a lawn chair and Haruka lays herself down in a hammock. Mamoru is wearing bright green swimming trunks and sandals. Haruka wears a black bikini with a white button-down shirt over it which is left open)

BOB: Okay, now that you two are settled, our first question is for you to complete this statement, "Ever since we got married, my wife just doesn't blank like she use to." Mamoru?

MAMO: Hmm... I would say she doesn't whine like she use to.

BOB: Well, that's a good thing. Haruka?

HARU (puts her hand on her face and sighs): Bob, Michiru's been way too dominating. She doesn't...doesn't...well, let me lead like she use to.

BOB: Oh, I see.

MAMO: Usagi lets me lead whenever I want...which is every night.

BOB (sensing the two getting angry): Um, thanks you two. Next, Haruka, think back into your past. What was the first thing out of Michiru's mouth when she first saw you naked?

(Mamoru laughs lightly)

HARU (staring angrily at Mamoru): Don't laugh, dickhead. I bet Odango screamed when she first saw your ugly ass.

MAMO: As a matter of fact, she did.

HARU: Nani?

MAMO (rolling his eyes): Duh. She screamed for joy. Which is probably a lot more than Michiru did.

HARU: Oh, believe me, she had quite a reaction.

BOB: Care to share it with us?

HARU: I think it was, "Wow... Oh God, Haruka, you're more beautiful than I imagined. I love you. This is a dream come true. I never-

BOB: Okay, okay! I just needed 'wow' thank you very much. Now, Mamoru, where is the coldest place Usagi's ever had sex?

MAMO: With me?

BOB: Uh...I would hope.

MAMO: Um...

HARU: Oh...I don't even want to know.

MAMO: Oh yeah? Beat Pluto!

HARU (looking into camera): I pity you, Setsuna.

BOB: ... Haruka, will you please answer-

HARU: Yeah I know! (glances slyly at Mamoru) ... The pool in our backyard.

(Audience cheers and whistles)

BOB (referring to audience): You bunch of crazies! Okay, Haruka, what do your neighbors complain about the most: the noises coming from your kitchen, bedroom or bathroom?

HARU (rolls her eyes): Knowing how I cook, Michiru would probably say kitchen, but I can't let my guard down against this loser, so definitely bedroom.

MAMO: Haruka, you don't even have neighbors.

HARU (smiling): No, but Setsuna's room is right down the hall from ours, and she complains every other night!

BOB: I'm feeling left out here, and it's MY show!

MAMO: Sorry, Bob. They complain most about the bedroom noises, too.

BOB: Thank you. Now, Mamoru, listen carefully. If the airlines awarded you 1000 miles for every time you and Usagi made love this past week, how far around the world would you two get?

HARU (laughing): I've got you beat on this one!

MAMO: Yeah right! We'd beat you to Japan and back again, Bob, 12000 miles.

BOB: Wow! Twelve times in the last week?

HARU: Geez! That's almost twice a day, Mamoru!

MAMO (grinning): Yep. And how many times have you and Michiru...

HARU (blushing slightly): ... Nine.

MAMO (laughing): That wouldn't even get you back to Japan!

BOB (interrupting): Anyway, I don't know what kind of sick producer of mine came up with this next question, but, Haruka, what is the total number of positions you and Michiru have tried in a single lovemaking session?

HARU (almost falling out of the hammock): What!

MAMO (coolly putting on sunglasses): Haruka, you ARE a woman. Close your mouth before I decide to make use of it.

HARU (starring at Mamoru): Asshole... (counting on her fingers) ... Seventeen, Bob.

BOB: Seventeen!

MAMO: I didn't think two girls would know how to get into that many ugly situations.

HARU: Believe me, the only thing ugly about it is the thought of our princess doing it with you.

MAMO: Hey! I'm your king! I could kick you out of the solar system!

HARU: Oh, yeah, Odango would really go for that.

BOB: Mamoru.

MAMO: Oh! Sorry, Bob. Um...three.

HARU (on the verge of laughing): I'm not saying anything.

BOB: Good. Mamoru, complete this statement, "I believe with all my heart that women were put on this Earth for two reasons: to blank and what."

MAMO: Well, in Haruka's case I'd say to serve and obey... But with Usako...look good and rule men.

BOB: Okay. Haruka?

HARU: You've got 'rule men' correct. But I say we were put on the Earth to love and be loved.

MAMO: Of course, that doesn't apply to you.

HARU: Oh yeah? (gets off the hammock and walks to the invisible line dividing the stage) Backstage there's a beautiful woman and seventeen positions that can tell you otherwise!

(Mamoru grumbles and sinks into his seat)

BOB (laughing): Okay, now, Haruka, the last time you gave Michiru the chills, will she say they started from the top and worked their way down or started at the bottom and worked their way up?

HARU: I usually start at the bottom, so-

BOB: Well, that's a little more than I wanted to know...

HARU (smiles): From the bottom up.

BOB: Mamoru?

MAMO: Same with me. The chills start from the bottom and work their way up.

BOB: Okay. Mamoru, if Usagi got a free coupon to a top plastic surgeon, would she ask him to make something on her body bigger, smaller, tighter or smoother?

HARU: Oh no. We're gonna get in so much trouble!

MAMO: Now THAT I can agree with you on. Uh, she'd probably get something bigger.

BOB (sarcastically): I wonder what that could be. Haruka?

HARU: I'd say tighter.

BOB: Oh, really?

HARU: Yeah. I work out a lot more than her and she's always saying how she admires my body because everything is so tight.

MAMO: Oh, I needed to know that...

HARU: You're just jealous.

MAMO (grabs his throat and makes choking and gagging noises): Never!

BOB: Alright, listen you two. Will your wife say she spends most of her time in bed lying on her right side, left side, front side or back side? Haruka?

HARU: Well, she's on the left side facing me, so her left side.

MAMO: Exact same with Usako; left side.

BOB: Great. Now, Mamoru, if an FBI team dusted Usagi after lovemaking, where on her body would they find the FEWEST fingerprints?

MAMO, HARU: Shimatta!

BOB: What?

MAMO: Come on. Can't you ask where they'd find the most?

BOB: Oh yeah. Like no one knows where that is.

MAMO (laughing): Okay, okay. They'd find the fewest on her back.

BOB: Did you say her back?

MAMO: Well, yeah. She has so much hair I can't seem to find it.

BOB (laughing): Well, that's true. Haruka?

HARU: Probably her feet... I never get down that far.

(Audience whistles and cheers)

BOB: And we all know why. Anyway, next, how would your wife say you would complete this sentence, "My ex-boyfriend's blank is bigger than mine, but my what is bigger than his." Haruka, Michiru's ex-boyfriend's what is bigger than yours?

HARU: I didn't even know she had an ex-boyfriend...

BOB: She told us before the show it was someone named Kento.

HARU: What! He was never her boyfriend!

BOB: She seems to tell us otherwise.

HARU: I can't believe it... Well, I suppose his, uh, his whole body is bigger than mine.

BOB: And your what is bigger than his?

HARU: I don't know if Michiru would agree, but I say my brain.

BOB: Okay. Mamoru?

MAMO: Oh I know who she classifies as her ex-boyfriend. His, or her, dedication is more than mine, and my 'love machine' is definitely bigger than his. He or she shouldn't even have had one in the first place!

HARU (laughing): She didn't in the first place.

BOB: I'm not asking... Okay, as a player on the field of love, what penalty will your wife say you're most likely to be called on: motion in the backfield, rushing, or illegal use of the hands? Mamoru?

MAMO (laughing): Oh, it's gotta be motion in the backfield.

(Audience cheers)

BOB: Anyway, Haruka, motion in the backfield, rushing, or illegal use of the hands?

HARU: Well, this is tough because I'd probably get called on both illegal use of the hands AND rushing. But...well, now that I think of it, she never has any objections to my hands wandering everywhere...but, she's ALWAYS complaining about me going too fast.

BOB: Uh, that's wonderful. Now, Haruka, since you two have been married, what is one thing Michiru has lost-

HARU MAMO: Her virginity!

BOB (glaring): I wasn't finished!

(Haruka and Mamoru laugh)

BOB: What is one thing she's lost that you wish she HADN'T?

HARU: Oh, well, her spontaneity.

MAMO: Big words...

HARU: Shut it, Tux.

BOB: Please, you two.

MAMO: Alright, she's lost her immaturity.

BOB: Isn't that a good thing?

MAMO: Not in some ways. She use to be SO happy-go-lucky, and it just turned me on every time.

BOB: That's understandable.

HARU: Yeah, coming from someone who runs around in a tuxedo and top hat fighting evil with a bunch of girls in short skirts.

MAMO: I always thought you looked cute in a skirt...

(Haruka, although angry, blushes and leans back in her seat)

BOB: Alright, alright. If you could adjust your love life the way you tune a radio, which knob would you go for first: volume, balance, or frequency? Haruka?

HARU: Balance, Bob! She actually wants to start taking control in bed! It's not fair!

MAMO: Well, WE don't need to adjust anything, but I guess I would go for volume.

BOB: But you said the neighbors already complain.

MAMO: They do.

BOB: ... Anyway, our last question in this round is, when it comes to hard-core romance, will your wife say she prefers to be in control, be controlled, or be totally out of control? Mamoru?

MAMO: As I said before, I'm in control.

BOB: So Usagi likes to be controlled?

MAMO: Yep.

BOB: Fine. Haruka?

HARU: How many times are you gonna ask this question to me? I don't like it!

BOB: Well, I still need your confirmation.

HARU (sigh): Okay, okay... It use to be she liked to be controlled, but something happened and now she likes to be in control.

MAMO: Maybe you're not satisfying her... I bet I could satisfy her. Let her come to me and I'll fix her.

HARU: Do you want me to rip off something that won't grow back?

BOB (laughing): I always knew you two were my favorite. When we return, I'll ask Usagi and Michiru the same questions and we'll see how many points they can accumulate here on this special edition of The Newlywed Game.

BOB: Hi everyone and welcome back to The Newlywed Game. The ladies have returned and it's time to ask them about their lovers. Are you ready, Usagi?

USAGI (sitting on a beach towel in between Mamoru's legs. She's wearing a red bikini with a yellow sunflower design on it and yellow ruffles. She has bright red flowers in her odangos): Ready as I'll ever be, Bob.

BOB: Good. Now, first question. I asked Mamoru to complete this sentence, "Ever since we got married, my wife just doesn't blank like she use to."

USAGI: Uh oh. Um...I just don't...make love like I use to?

MAMO: Usako! You don't whine like you use to. And you're great in bed!

USAGI (blushes): Oh...

BOB (laughing): Okay. Michiru?

MICHI (laying with Haruka in the hammock. She's wearing an aquamarine swimsuit with a long, transparent, navy blue jacket over it): I think I don't satisfy her like I use to.

HARU: Well, that's partially true. (sighs) You don't let me lead like you use to.

MICHI: No, I don't. And I love every minute of it. (smiles)

BOB: You four are off to a bad start. But don't worry, this is a special show. There's plenty of time to catch up. Now, Michiru, what was the first thing out of your mouth the first time you saw Haruka naked?

Usagi screams

BOB: Usagi, what was that for?

USAGI: That's my answer. Mamo-chan is sooooooooo hot! I about died when he-

MICHI: Usagi! We'd all like to keep down our breakfast!

USAGI: Well, how could you possibly get aroused by another woman?

MICHI: How could you get aroused by something that decreases in size every day?

MAMO: How would you know?

MICHI: ... Anyway, I think the first thing I said was a simple "wow."

BOB: That's a match for you both. Okay, Usagi, where's the coldest place you've ever had sex?

USAGI: With Mamo-chan?

(Bob sweatdrops)

USAGI: Just kidding. Um, I think it was one cold night on the moon.

MAMO: Pluto, Usako! Pluto!

USAGI: Well, I was close.

BOB: Michiru?

MICHI: Oh, this is easy! The pool!

BOB: Yep. Now-

MICHI: And let me tell you, it was quite an experience!

BOB: That's nice. If-

MICHI: I mean, water is my natural element, so-

BOB: Michiru!

MICHI (nervous laugh): Ah, gomen.

BOB: Thank you. What do your neighbors complain about the most: the noises coming from your bathroom, kitchen or bedroom? Michiru?

MICHI: Well, we don't have many neighbors living near enough to hear, but I'd say Setsuna always complains about our bedroom noises.

BOB: That's a match. Usagi?

USAGI: Definitely bedroom!

BOB: You got it. Usagi, if the airlines awarded you 1000 miles for every time you and Mamoru made love this past week, how far around the world would you two get?

USAGI: Oh, we'd make it around the world!

BOB: How many miles?

USAGI: About 15,000.

MAMO: What? Was I not there three times?

USAGI: Oops! Gomen!

BOB: Too bad. Michiru?

MICHI: 2000.

HARU: Nani? We haven't done it only twice in the last week!

MICHI: Oh! It's how many TIMES? Well, then...10,000.

HARU: Now I wasn't there once...

BOB: Sorry you two. Alright, Michiru, what is the total number of positions you and Haruka have tried in a single lovemaking session?

MICHI (staring at Bob): You've got to be kidding me!

BOB: Hey, I don't write the questions, just ask them.

MICHI (blushing. Starts counting on her fingers, making small motions with her arms and legs): I think about eighteen.

HARU: No! Michi!

MICHI: Weren't you thinking about the night around two months ago?

HARU: Yes! You didn't add...

MICHI (covers her face): Oooohh...

HARU: Michiru! 69 is about the only position we didn't do!

MAMO: I'm gonna have nightmares tonight!

HARU: What was that!

USAGI: But Mamo-chan, we've only done it in three positions.

MAMO (sadly): ... That's right...

USAGI: Aww... (pats his legs) It's okay. We can make up for that tonight.

MAMO: Really?

HARU: Now I'M gonna have the nightmares.

BOB: We should have you four on here every day! Anyway, Michiru, how did Haruka complete this sentence, "I believe with all my heart that women were put on this Earth for two reasons: to blank and blank."

MICHI: Well, her answer would also be about herself, so she probably said something like look good and overpower men.

USAGI: Well, I think we were put here to love and be loved.

BOB (laughing): You two won't believe this, but you have your answers switched! Obviously, no points. Usagi, the last time Mamoru gave you the chills, did they start from the top and work their way down, or start from the bottom and work their way up?

USAGI (giggles): Bottom up usually.

MICHI: Same with me.

BOB: Same with your lovers. Five points for each team. Next, if you got a free coupon to a top plastic surgeon, would you ask him to make something on your body smaller, bigger, smoother or tighter? Michiru?

MICHI: I'd probably want something a little bigger.

HARU: Michi! You're fine how you are! I don't need anything increased in size on you at all!

MICHI: Then what was your answer?

HARU: Uh...tighter...

MICHI: What?

BOB: Michiru, I'm sure she doesn't want you changed at all, just needed to answer the question.

HARU: Thanks, Bob.

BOB: No problem. Usagi?

USAGI: I've always wanted something bigger, too.

MAMO: Yyyesssss! Right, Usako!

USAGI: So you don't like what I have now?

MAMO: Don't put words in my mouth!

BOB (laughing): I love you four! Usagi, do you spend most of your time in bed lying on your front, back, left or right side?

USAGI MICHI: Left.

BOB: That was quick and correct. If an FBI agent dusted you after lovemaking, where on your body would they find the fewest fingerprints? Michiru?

MICHI: Good thing you didn't ask them where the most would be.

HARU (smiles): Because everyone knows where that is.

MICHI (blushes): Oh... Anyway, the least would be my feet.

BOB: Correct. Usagi?

USAGI: My feet, too.

MAMO: I touch your feet! At least they're not covered with hair.

USAGI: What else on me is covered with hair?

MAMO (cowering): I-I meant your back 'cause when you let your hair down I can't see it at all.

USAGI: ... Oh.

BOB: Good save, Mamoru. Usagi, how did Mamoru complete this sentence, "Her ex-boyfriend's blank is bigger than mine, but my blank is bigger than his."

USAGI: Knowing my Mamo-chan, I'd say he'd say his...you-know-what is bigger than Seiya's, though I wouldn't know, and Seiya's, uh, head is bigger?

MAMO: His head?

USAGI: I don't know!

BOB: Mamoru said his, or her, I don't have the story, dedication is more.

USAGI: It does take a lot to want to change sexes every day and still pursue me...

BOB (removes his straw hat and wipes his forehead): I've been working here for too long. Michiru, please give me some normal answers.

MICHI: Kento's brain and Haruka's ego.

HARU: Michiru!

MICHI (coolly): Nani?

HARU: ... Forget it.

BOB: I am going to know everything there is to know about you four by the end of this show.

MICHI: You already do.

BOB: True... Well, Michiru, as a player on the field of love, which penalty is Haruka most likely to be called on: illegal use of the hands, rushing, or motion in the backfield?

MICHI (smiles): Rushing. Although I like it sometimes, she does go really fast-

HARU (stands): Then you do admit you like it!

MICHI: I said sometimes.

HARU (smiles): Mmmm-hmmm...

BOB: You're right, Michiru. Usagi?

USAGI: Rushing as well.

MAMO: What?

USAGI: Oh, what else could you have said? You go way too fast and I DON'T like it.

BOB: That's not a match. Next question. Since you two have been married, what is the one thing you have lost that your lover wishes you hadn't? Usagi, good luck.

USAGI: Thanks, Bob. (glares at Mamoru) I think Mamo-chan wishes I hadn't lost my teenage silliness.

BOB: Our judges say that's a match.

(Mamoru wipes his forehead)

BOB: Michiru?

MICHI: I've lost my sense of humor.

BOB: I kind of doubt that...

MICHI: Well, little things annoy me now that were just cute before.

HARU: That's not true! You still think everything I do is 'cute.'

BOB: But Haruka said spontaneity.

MICHI: That too...

BOB: Ladies, if your lover could adjust your love life the way you tune a radio, which knob would he, or she, go for first: frequency, balance or volume? Usagi?

USAGI: Knowing how Mamo-chan thinks, I'd say he wants it more often. So frequency.

MAMO: No! Volume!

USAGI: What do you mean by that?

MAMO: I...I don't...I...I give up!

BOB: Michiru?

MICHI: I would also guess frequency.

HARU: Well...

MICHI: What else!

HARU (quietly): ... Balance.

MICHI: Oh... (smiles) Okay!

HARU: Does that mean I can lead again?

MICHI (grins): Hell no!

BOB (laughing): Okay, this is the final question today. Michiru, when it comes to hard-core romance, do you prefer to be controlled, be in control, or be totally out of control?

MICHI (smiles and giggles): Two months ago I would have said I liked to be controlled, but now I like to be IN control!

HARU (sighs): That's what I said...

BOB: Another match. Usagi?

USAGI: Oh, I'm always out of control!

BOB: Not according to Mamoru. He said he's the big man in charge.

USAGI: What?

MAMO: He's putting words in my mouth!

USAGI: I'll put my Tier in your mouth!

BOB: Calm down, it's only a question!

HARU: That we got right.

MAMO: Want me to put something else in your mouth?

HARU: I know you want to.

BOB: May I be IN CONTROL of my show now?

ALL: Gomen.

BOB: I don't know if I can handle another day of you four. Anyway, the scores as of now are Usagi and Mamoru have 35 points, and Haruka and Michiru have 40 points. We'll be back tomorrow for another hour long special of The Newlywed Game. Hope to see you there.