American Partners

Chapter 1

I knew that something had been going on with my Frankie. We were in Iowa on a pick and he never looked at me, not once. I even climbed the rafters of an old barn an extra couple of times just so he would be tempted to look. He didn't. He was looking at some old porcelain signs when I realized that something about him had changed, I was looking at another Frankie. My long-time partner had changed.

On the way home, he avoided my eye contact still. I almost drifted the car off of the road trying to get his attention. I longed for it. Frankie, my love, look at me.

"How does burger king sound today?" I asked my own King.

"I don't care. Whatever you want." Frank replied. I cared.

"I just want to do what you want." I said.

"I'll search for another pick. You do whatever you want." Frankie said, disinterested. I sighed and continued driving the van. Our van. I just wanted to know what was wrong.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I pried.

"I don't know what you mean, Mike." Frankie said without looking away from his phone.

"You won't even look me in the eye anymore. You have been distant emotionally. You wouldn't even accept a Bojangles biscuit this morning!" I exclaimed growing emotional.

"I wasn't hungry." Frankie sighed.

"Are you eating somebody else's biscuits, Frank?" I raised my voice a little as my eyes welled with tears.

"I...I...No." Frankie stammered.

"You are LYING TO ME!" I cried, "Who is he?! WHO IS HE, FRANK?"

"Mike, for a while, we have been...falling apart." Frankie stated.

"Who is it? What did I do?" I frantically asked.

"Mike, it...I am in love with some one else." Frankie finally admitted.

At this point, I had to pull over the van onto the shoulder of the road, I sobbed.

"It's...Chumlee, yes, from Pawn Stars."

Chapter 2

After hearing the shocking news, living became much harder. Everywhere I looked, I saw Chumlee's unwashed hair, patchy beard, and heard his ignorant laugh. Maybe that is what Frankie loved about him so much. He had such little understanding of the world. Ignorant Chumlee. Owner of Frankie's heart. I wake up every morning alone, turn on the television, and I see him. His large face takes up much of the screen and I have no choice but to look at his lazily grown facial hair. Immediately, I shut off the television as I heard Rick's nieve laughter. I walked into the antique shop that day knowing work would be harder than it has ever been for me.

"Good morning." Said Frankie trying to make peace.

"Let's just get this over with." I said so angerly I even surprised myself.

"Mike, at the end of the day..."

"At the end of the day, you ate another man's biscuit, Frank." I intercepted his remark.

"Let us go antiquing." I said trying to move things along.

We got into the van and it felt as though the love had vanished. All of the good times we had spent in it became a blur. I knew a chapter of my life was over and another one would begin anew.

Frankie kept looking at his phone. His Golden Girls ring tone was going off non-stop, or as close to non-stop as Chumlee's reaction time, and Frankie kept getting a little smirk. A little smirk that used to be mine. Chum was going to pay for what he had done to my family. Frankie and I had created a life together and Chumlee somehow managed to create a large, very large, gap between us.

"Can you please put that on silent, Frank, it is very distracting." I asked politely, but sternly.

Frankie let out a small chuckle, "Sure, Mikey."

"And don't call me that anymore." I told him. When he called me that it reminded me of the time that I took our secretary at the antique shop, Danielle, out on a pick and how much I missed Frankie when he wasn't with me. It also reminded me of the time i found a a statuette of a short fat man that reminded me of Frankie. All I could think about was our good times together and he, he was laughing and flirting with Chum.

"I have always called you that." Frankie mentioned.

"Not anymore. It is different now." I told him. My king had found another prince.

Chapter 3

After a whole disturbing week of these shenanigans, I had finally lost hope that my Frankie would ever return to my arms. My life was now incomplete and utterly pointless. It was now time for my inevitable future, it was time for me, Mike Wolf, to find a new honey-hole.

"Danielle, I have a new job for you." I said upon walking into work that day.

"Oh, good! I knew that I deserved more responsibility than running the shop. Remember that time we went picking? I did so well! I knew you would replace Frankie! I knew that.."

"You're actually going to be replacing me." I interrupted her nonsensical chatter. The more she spoke at me, the more I remembered why I love men.

"Wait...what do you mean?" Danielle asked in confusion.

"Well, Frankie and I...we have broken up. He cheated on me with Chumlee." I explained.

"You guys were together? Like...In a relationship?" Danielle was so oblivious to our love. I should say, the love we used to share.

"Please, don't remind me," I began to sniffle, "I just need a change of scenery."

The scenery here reminded me too much of Frankie. There was still an old t-shirt he had left here after changing on a hot pick. There were about four to ten half empty bottles of Mountain Dew, which was his favorite, all over the store and the van. I had made decisions on so many picks, now being sold in the shop, because they reminded me of my love.

I could not even go to the Burger King anymore because the memories reminded me of my royal Frankie, my majesty. Now that Chumlee had changed him, he switched to McDonald's and Arby's. We never used to go to Arby's. Every time we went to Mcdonald's, Frankie would get two McDoubles with a large fry and drink, except when the McRib came back. He loved the McRib.

As I thought about all of our fast-food romances, I looked up to see an old motorcycle jacket hanging on the wall, Frankie looked so good in that jacket. Just. So. Great. I knew I couldn't stay here any longer.

Chapter 4

Before I could pack my stuff and leave the shop, one of our favorite collecting buddies called us. He had fully restored his creepy, old carnival ride called, "The Whip." He said he would be delighted if Frank and I came to give it a whirl. I had already planned on going back to the area to sell him some old statues for his collection. They were two bearded, jolly looking fat men, and they reminded me of Frankie.

"Hey Frank?" I called him so lifelessly compared to the jubilant tone I had always used before, "We may have a problem." Usually, a problem for Frankie and me was something close to the matter of deciding where to eat lunch, but today it was pretending everything was perfectly fine in front of a client, fellow picker, and most importantly close friend.

"We have to go ride the Whip." Even saying the word 'whip' was hard and brought back memories. Frankie had bought an old circus whip one time. He used it to be a lion tamer for Halloween once. I was the lion.

"Ooh, I am so excited!" Frankie practically hopped to the van. The ride was excruciatingly silent. Frankie didn't realize that i was being aloof, he did not notice at all, nor did he care.

We arrived at our friend's place. Frankie glowed in the fresh sunlight as the wind wafted through his hair. I had to take my attention away from his dashing looks before I got too choked up.

"I am so glad you guys can come and ride the Whip. You're gonna love it, you're just gonna love that Whip." His excitement was the foil to my dread. "The Whip is gonna be the best thing you've ever sat on." He didn't know anything.

Frankie and I boarded the Whip. Frankie was filled with an enormous amount of glee, he was acting like a giddy school girl and I the cranky principal. The ride cranked up, it was just a cheap roller coaster, I was just awaiting the rides end. Frankie was giggling at the attractions inside the old ride. There were some friendly looking clowns, a humorous statue of the world's strongest man, and the soundtrack of laughing children. Right past the bearded lady, the ride stopped. The bars over our chests couldn't be lifted and to my horror, we were stuck.

Chapter 5

Frankie and I decided to give our jewel of a relationship another shot. I still owned the store, I could never have the heart to fire my dear Frankie, and I would not be able to avoid seeing his gleaming eyes. The time we had abandoned together on the run down "Whip," gave us the time for a conversation we wouldn't admit we needed. After all, my first goal in life is finding great picks, my second goal is finding things that look like Frankie, my little butternut squash. We were stuck on The Whip for about six hours. There were tears, hugs, and some yelling. Chumlee was no longer going to be a part of Frankie's antique toy collection. On the way back to the shop, our giddiness was that of our first date. We even went to Burger King.

I felt like I was Princess Jasmine and He, Prince Aladdin, and we were truly in a whole new world. The hop was back in my step. I had never felt so alive. We went straight to the hotel after our rescue from The Whip, Frankie put on his footie pajamas, and we watched Jackson Galaxy save people from their own cats. It was a night straight from a fairytale.

No matter how happy Frankie being my Little Red Riding Hood again made me, I would sometimes look over at him sleeping and just see Chumlee's large face laughing at me. I tried to shake it off.

"It looks like our next pick should be coming up the road here shortly." Frankie said, looking exquisite in his blue windbreaker.

"Lookin' good today, Frank." I couldn't retrain my feelings.

"Thanks, blue on blue." He said observing his shirt and jacket. I love the color blue on him.

"Let's forget about picking for today. I saw a sign for a drive-in movie. Let's go do that instead." I suggested to my big round beauty.

"Sounds good." Frankie said wiggling with excitement. We drove away into the sunset like the end of any good story.