A random story I've been working on for a while...
I think it's funny, and I had fun writing it! So I hope you enjoy it.
Comments would be lovely!
Emmi x
Stephenie Meyer owns all!
'Bella, I promise they won't laugh at you.' Edward promised me. Yeah right, like I was going to believe him. I grunted angrily in response, refusing to meet his hypnotizing eyes. He betrayed me. I was completely shocked when Edward confessed to me what he had done... Edward of all people, betraying me?
'Bella?' He asked, trying to read my thoughts through my eyes, his only key to my mind. I realised what he was trying to do, so I looked away out the window, pretending to be interested in a small bird sitting in the old tree outside Edward's room.
It was Sunday afternoon, rainy and boring. Edward and I were sitting on my bed in his room, listening to his never-ending CD collection and pretending not to be angry with each other, simply to keep the peace. But we both knew the truth. Yesterday, I was innocently trying to learn to play the piano with Edward by my side when, an evil, cunning bird decided to fly through an open window and fly passed my head. I wasn't scared, I was surprised. At least, that was my explanation to Edward, for my awful black eye. No, the bird hadn't flown into my eye... although, it would have been a less ridiculous excuse for an injury... what really happened was, I was so shocked by the bird, I fell backwards off the piano stool, but not before attempting to prevent my fall by grasping onto a nearby lamp. The lamp, predictably fell on top of me, blackening my eye. But trust me when I tell you, that's not the worst part.
Yesterday, after seeing my eye at it's blackest, I vowed not to leave Edward's room until I could successfully cover it up with make-up, otherwise facing the horrible wrath of Jasper and Emmett laughing until they're sick, not to mention, the entire Cullen family. I cringed.
But let me get to the worst part... Not only was my perfect plan of hiding away in Edward's room until my eye became normal destroyed by Edward's big mouth, it was done purposely. Edward, thinking I wouldn't notice, secretly told the entire family my embarrassing episode, hoping to spare me the embarrassment. The foolish, dazzling vampire. He made the whole family, including Jasper and Emmett, promise him they wouldn't laugh at me or disturb me whilst I hid away in his room. And this was supposed to spare me? They're most likely all talking about it right now, in fact, I was sure of it. Alice probably saw it before I did and decided it would be a laugh not to tell me. Thank goodness the female half of the Cullen family were out shopping in Port Angeles this afternoon.
Maybe I'm being too self conscious... but who can blame me? I'm cooped up in a house with seven people who were perfected to every fiber of their being. I bet none of them even remember what it's like to fall over... or to even feel embarrassment. My thoughts were interrupted by Edward's sharp voice of warning, I could feel the vibrations of his chest as he growled at the curious vampire outside his door.
'Emmett, don't come in here. I told you, no!' I cringed again. I felt my face heating up and I knew I was blushing, Edward had better not grant Emmett access...
'Oh come on, Edward!' I heard Emmett's booming, child-like voice plead, I knew he wished me to hear this too, or he wouldn't have yelled so loudly, 'I just want to see her eye really quickly, then I'll leave. Please? I won't even bring in the camera, I put it on the floor, now can I come in?'
Edward looked at me questioningly, as if asking permission to let down his guard. I had also asked Edward to defend the security of the door, to be ready to fight till the death should it be opened. I had assumed he had warned his family about this part too, or Emmett would have walked in freely. My betrayer continued to stare at me, did he really believe I was going to allow Emmett to walk in the door and laugh?
'No, Edward!' I hissed through gritted teeth. Edward snapped out of his questioning look immediately, I could tell he was mentally slapping himself for asking. I felt pity for him, he had made himself my slave until my eye had healed, I could tell he was feeling guilty for telling his family, and probably even blames himself for the entire fiasco, but my pity was soon replaced as if on queue, my brain reminded me why I was angry. I scoffed.
'Go away Emmett!' Edward called, a non-playful snarl escaping from his perfect lips, did Edward just snarl at his brother?
'Edward! Please! You owe me!' Emmett called again, this time banging his fist on the door eagerly, showing no signs of being snarled at.
'Since when?' Edward sounded angry, but I could see a small smile creeping into his angered expression. He noticed me staring and his face fell to a scowl again, I almost protested, begging him to smile, but I restrained myself.
'Since you popped my football!'
'Emmett, you popped your football! I got you a new one last week because you cried!' Edward was smiling again now, but his voice remained stern, as if scolding a naughty puppy.
'Well, Bella owes me! ...And I didn't cry.' Emmett called hopefully, I jumped as my name was mentioned, and looked towards the door. Edward breathed in, about to reply when I held up a hand to silence my slave... maybe that was a bit harsh... but I still have every right to be angry.
'What on earth did I do?' I called to the doorway, Edward was staring at me, his mouth still open.
'I can't remember...' Emmett lied, he knew I owed him nothing.
'Exactly, now go!' I ordered angrily.
'But-' Emmett tried to protest, but Edward cut him off.
'Emmett...' He warned.
'How can you both sit there an deny me this? This one little thing will make me so happy! I mean, how long can I hold onto this memory for? A few years? I will get over it I swear! Please Bella? Edward? ...Guys?' Emmett tried again, I could almost see his eyelashes batting at me. Pathetic.
'The decision rests with Bella, I stand by her!' Edward answered for me, nodding at me quickly, showing his will to defend me. I could feel the loyalty radiating through me... sickening.
'Bella...?'
'No Emmett!'
'Why? What's a few years on the side? I bring it up a few times and then it dies, come on!' Emmett begged.
'Yeah, right! Three reasons.' I said to myself, knowing both vampires present would hear.
'And they are? I can find away around them, I know it!'
'Shush Emmett. The reasons are, one, it will not be brought up a few times, it will be brought up a few hundred times! T-'
'But-'
'Let me finish! Two, when I finally join your family after the wedding next week, I will be stuck with you forever and each time you look at me you will see my black eye in your mind and laugh! Th-'
'I won't, I'll-'
'Emmett! And three, I have a ravenous vampire here ready to kill any person, or persons who deems themselves stupid enough to decide to walk through that damn door!' I breathed in loudly after I finished, and waited for Emmett to protest. But no sound came.
'Edward? Did he leave?' I spun my head around to Edward, who was sitting in front of me, looking at something I couldn't see.
'I can't sense him outside the door, but when I attempt to read his mind... he is blocking me!' Edward looked angry. He was still focusing on the thing I couldn't see.
'With what? What's he thinking?' I asked, terrified. Did I want to know what Emmett was thinking? What on earth was that boy planning on doing?
'He's thinking of a Rosalie in a clown suit singing 'Jingle Bells.' I can't wait to tell her.' Edward smiled, but his smile was confused and aggravated.
'Wha-' I was about to ask what Edward had said, thinking I had misheard, when a pillow was shoved in my face and I fell off the side of my bed, to be caught by two cold arms.
'Sorry Bella, but I found Emmett.' Edward smiled apologetically. He had pushed me, but wait, I couldn't see Emmett... I lowered the pillow from my good eye and scanned the room. No Emmett. I looked up at Edward, but his eyes were focused out his window and into the old tree behind the large window. Emmett was in the tree with his camera, Jasper beside him. They waved, smiling. I screamed, before I realised the pillow was still covering my face, I really do love Edward, and his fast pillow reflexes when danger is abound... and cameras.
'Say cheese!' I heard Emmett yell, I screamed again, this time, with anger.
'EMMETT! I HOPE YOU FALL AND BREAK YOUR NECK! YOU TOO JASPER!'
'Haha! A lot of good that will do, silly Bella!' Laughed Emmett, handing his camera to Jasper before pretending to fall off his branch.
'Well you had better hope you fall, because you are not getting back in this house!' I warned, my empty threat echoed off the glass.
'I think we'll find a way! Through your window maybe?' Emmett called threateningly, pointing at the window suggestively.
'You won't get past Edward, I told you if you entered-'
'You said through the door, you said nothing of your window! Besides, I reckon Jasper and I can take Edward, it'll be worth it to see that shiner of yours!' Emmett roared with laughter. Edward huffed at his brothers words, sliding off the bed gracefully to stand in front of me protectively.
'Why don't you come down from your little tree and try?' Edward smiled playfully, but I could hear the seriousness in his words. A challenge.
'Edward I-' I began, placing my hand on his shoulder to attempt to turn him to face me. Although he could have stayed right where he was, he willingly turned at my touch to face me, his playful smile not yet lost. He chuckled quietly, before kissing my forehead.
'Bella, Emmett wouldn't dare break my window, he knows Esme will-' But Edward was cut off. Emmett had launched himself from Edward's tree and smashed the glass in his way. He landed with a thud into Edward's bright room, but lost balance, stacking into a pile of Edward's CD's, I had the feeling this was done purposely though. Since when did vampires stumble over? Jasper landed gracefully into the now three-walled room behind Emmett, smiling in shock and amusement.
'EMMETT! MY WINDOW! MY CD'S! YOU-'
'Did you a favor! This one is- sorry, was from the fifties! It's a record, no one listens to them anymore!' Emmett laughed, picking himself up off the ground, holding one of the many broken records and CD's in his hands.
'It was priceless! One of a kind!' Edward cried, staring in shock at his partially ruined collection of music.
'Calm down! I have glue in my room-'
'GLUE? You think that glue will fix this?' Edward scoffed, wrenching his priceless record from Emmett's grasp.
Then I heard a snap. The camera. I hadn't noticed, but my protection pillow that was previously in front of my face was lying on the floor after being dropped in shock. Jasper stood in front of me, the camera still raised to his eye, grinning evilly. Oh yes, I can feel the anger rising. Sweet, sweet anger.
'Jasper.' I tried to speak calmly, but I failed as my voice broke. I took a step towards Jasper and he mirrored my move by stepping backwards, still smiling. 'Give me that, now.'
'What, this?' Jasper held up the camera lazily with one finger, balancing my self confidence death sentence on his middle finger.
'Yes, that.' I gritted my teeth, taking another step, Jasper stood still, watching me, daring me to attempt to take his camera. I knew it was hopeless, so I turned to look for Edward who was busy trying to hold Emmett in a headlock, hitting him with one of the broken records. I was alone in this battle.
'Sorry, Edward's a little tied up right now... you could try and get it yourself.' Jasper suggested, throwing the camera high into the air and watching it fall, catching it before it hit the ground.
'You know I can't.' I half pleaded, trying to make Jasper feel sorry for me. It clearly wasn't working because he began to laugh again.
'You're right. I wonder what Rosalie will think of this picture...' Jasper chuckled, trying to picture the look on Rosalie's face. Not Rosalie, anyone but Rosalie. The most beautiful person in the world witnessing my embarrassment was a tragic thought, not Rosalie!
'What do you want?' I sighed, giving in.
'Your powers...' Jasper smiled, but he was serious now, the camera dangling limply in his hand.
'What powers?' I asked, confused.
'Your vampire powers! We all know when you're one of us, you'll get the coolest power and I want you to promise you'll-'
'How the hell am I supposed to give you my power! Besides, I doubt I'll even get a power.'
'Let me finish. I was going to say, I want you to promise once your powers kick in, you won't use them on me, whatever they may be.' Jasper was laughing again now, raising the camera as if to propose a trade.
'Deal, just give me the-' I was cut off half way, reaching for the camera hopefully when Jasper froze, looking at Emmett fearfully. I turned to face Emmett too, he was lying on the floor screaming the world 'uncle.' Edward was sitting on top of Emmett, laughing. Emmett was tied up laying face down on the floor, Edward perched on his back dropping broken record after broken record on top of his brother's head.
'Emmett.' Jasper whispered, a scared look etched upon his face. His voice was not concerned or shocked, he was getting Emmett's attention.
'What? Ouch, that one was heavy!' Emmett cried from the floor.
'The girls are home!' Jasper whispered again, looking around the ruined room of Edward Anthony Cullen. Emmett froze, Edward smiled a smile worthy of revenge. I listened hard, and sure enough, I could now hear the sound of car tyres on gravel. Esme, Rosalie and Alice have returned from their shopping spree in Port Angeles.
'Run, Jasper! Save yourself! ...And take the camera!' Emmett mumbled from the floor, his voice muffled by the carpet. I looked at Jasper pleadingly, the camera in his hands. Jasper's eyes darted from Emmett, to mine, deciding where his loyalties should lie.
'It's too late my dear brothers...' Edward smiled, all eyes turned to him, 'They know.'
'No!' Emmett cried in horror.
'Yes, Esme is thinking of a punishment. Alice really does have great vision.' Edward chuckled to himself before standing up and walking away from Emmett, who was struggling to untie himself. Edward walked over to me, picked my protector pillow up and handed it to me. I heard footsteps. Jasper was still frozen in place, the camera in his hands.
'BOYS!' Esme screamed, her usually beautiful voice ricocheted off the walls of the old mansion.
'Jasper, the camera!' I pleaded, and Jasper handed me the camera, admitting defeat.
'I was going to give it to you, after all, I know what your eye looks like now, it really isn't as bad as I thought. Emmett and I thought half your face would be black and blue and-' Jasper's rant was cut to a halt as Edward's door, that had remained closed all this time, was blasted open falling off it's hinges. Behind the previously blocked doorway stood a murderous vampire. Esme. She looked horrified and ravenous, and somehow graceful at the same time. Her golden eyes swept the ruined room once before I felt a wave of calm pass through the room, but I doubted Jasper's attempts would calm her.
'That window...' Esme began, walking slowly towards Jasper, Emmett now at his side, 'I bought that window in Cairo! It was hand crafted, one of a kind!'
'The first of many one of a kind items destroyed today.' Edward spoke, his voice velvet, his eyes dark.
'Not my vase, anything but my vase!' Esme cried, her eyes darted at Edward.
'No, my records.' Edward admitted sadly.
'Oh, well, that's a relief. Jasper, Emmett, clean up this mess immediately.' Esme frowned, ignoring Edward's annoyed look.
'Or what?' Emmett smiled, his eyebrows raised.
'You had to ask!' Jasper sighed, punching Emmett's arm.
'Or I'll send Alice and Rosalie in here and tell them why I had to throw out their hair straightener.' Esme smiled, knowing she'd won.
'That was an accident!'
'I don't care. I want a new window from Cairo too!' Esme scoffed. She took one last look around the room, shot Emmett and Jasper a dark look as if daring them to object and strode from the room, her hair flailing madly behind her.
An hour had passed since the fiasco. Edward and I were taking refuge in Alice's room while Emmett and Jasper cleaned. Alice and Rosalie were in Rosalie's room with their new clothes (both angry at their husbands, though I believed they were secretly amused), Esme was too angry to talk to anyone and was sitting in the lounge room and Carlisle was at work. Despite the destruction of Edward's room (and the constant swearing emitting from said room) things were very peaceful in the Cullen household.
I suppose it was now or never to apologize to Edward, if I had just shown Jasper and Emmett my stupid eye, Edward's precious records would still be sitting happily in his room, as we would be. I took a deep breath and turned to face Edward, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me, face in his hands.
'Edward?' I asked hesitantly. Edward looked up immediately, his golden eyes piercing me, was he purposely making this harder?
'Yes, Bella?' He answered politely, smiling slightly. I saw straight through him.
'I'm sorry about your records, is there no replacing them?' I smiled expectantly, already knowing the answer.
'No, they were one of a kind.' Edward replied flatly and I fell silent. He immediately looked apologetic for snapping and held my chin up so he could pour golden into brown. 'I'm sorry for snapping, you don't deserve it. It's just frustrating living with two brothers who don't share your passion with music, I overreacted.'
'You overreacted? Edward, I locked myself in your room, forced you to threaten death to anyone who wanted to enter and destroyed your room because of it. I'm sorry. It's just a stupid black eye... Jasper said it didn't look so bad...' I trailed off as he smiled, lost in his eyes... why was I upset again?
'Yes, I saw Emmett's thoughts, he assumed your head had swelled to the size of a soccer ball. And you may have overreacted... a little bit. But you're human, I forget sometimes, your emotions are more sensitive.'
'That's no excuse, not really...' I forced a laugh, cursing my mortality and sensitive emotions.
'You know, I may not be Jasper, but I can sense you're feeling a mixture of unnecessary guilt and anger at yourself... stop please.' Edward smiled simply, taking my hand in his.
'What?' I asked.
'I said stop,' Edward said again, 'Please.' He added politely.
'I- um... kay?' I said hesitantly, not knowing what he expected me to say. What was I supposed to say?
'Good. Now that your sensitive emotions are taken care of-' Edward began, but I somehow managed to cut him off.
'Edward, telling me to stop isn't going to make me not sorry for-' I tried, but I, in turn, was cut off as Edward placed a small and soft kiss on the tip of my nose. What were we talking about?
'Are you hungry?' Edward smiled at my bewildered expression.
'Starving.' I admitted, only now realizing how hungry I really was.
'Perfect. I have an idea...' Edward's smile turned mischievous, and I suddenly understood.
'I smell revenge...' I sighed, secretly excited.
'No my Bella, you smell delicious...'
'Emmett, the broken records go in the left pile, and the ones that are fine go in the right pile! Where have you been putting your half of broken records?'
'Calm down Jasper, I put them all in... the right pile.' Emmett realized, shocked at first, then amused.
'Great! We get to start over again... for the fourth time! Wait... where's your pile of non broken records gone?' Jasper asked curiously.
'I thought they were the broken pile, so I crushed them into dust and vacuumed them up...' Emmett admitted, chuckling quietly.
'WHAT? EMMETT! Edward is going to kill us! Now we're down to 50 working records, at most! We've destroyed his entire collection!'
'Again, calm down! It's just like a puzzle, I'll get the vacuum.'
'You're going to attempt to rebuild hundreds of records from dust particles!?' Jasper shrieked, shaking his head in disbelief of his brother's words.
'Got a better idea?' Emmett challenged.
'Yeah, run for the hills and thank god everyday that Edward isn't a tracker!'
'You're over-reacting!'
'You're under-reacting!'
'You sound like Esme!'
'You sound like- did you hear that?' Jasper asked, listening hard to a noise he believed he had heard coming from the hallway.
'No you sound like a... what?' Emmett stopped, confused.
'Listen...' Jasper whispered, barely audible, pointing to Edward's bedroom door.
Jasper and Emmett walked silently to the door and pressed their ears against it, listening hard.
'...Edward, you can't mean that!' Bella shrieked, a crash boomed loudly from the hallway, shaking the walls.
'Oh, I think I do. Come to your love, Bella! I'm thirsty...' Edward's voice rang, sending ice through the air.
'Edward, no...' Bella cried, another crash.
'It's time, Bella. Say goodbye!' Edward laughed a terrifying laugh, very unlike him.
'No! No, please! NO, EDWARD! NO!'
Before Jasper and Emmett could digest what they had overheard their brother say, they reacted. Emmett pulled the newly fixed door effortlessly back off it's hinges, sending it flying through the new window Jasper and Emmett had spent hours putting in place. Jasper sprang through the door and into a crouch, his eyes searching the scene. Emmett was by Jasper's side in a blink, team mates, both crouched, ready to fight to stop their brother making a terrible mistake. But they found nothing.
'Edward?' Jasper called cautiously, relaxing his crouch slightly to spin around and look in different directions.
'Bella?' Emmett yelled, running to the stair-railing to peer over the side, sniffing for blood. Nothing.
'What's going on?' Jasper asked Emmett, puzzled.
'No idea-' Emmett began, but was cut off by a noise far more terrifying than any laugh Edward could muster.
'BOYS! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?' Esme screamed from the lounge room.
'Nothing!' Jasper and Emmett called back innocently, running back into Edward's room to find a horrifying scene. A missing door, paint peeled off the walls from where the hinges had broken... and the window.
'NO!' Jasper and Emmett howled, taking in the horrific scene.
'BOYS! I'm coming up!' Esme called again, stomps on the stairs could now be heard.
The brothers reacted at lightening speed. Both ran to the previously intact window and jumped out, landing in the tree. Both waiting, watching, praying.
'Enjoying your pizza Bella?' Edward smiled, offering me a napkin.
'So much...' I mumbled, scoffing down the pizza Edward had baked for me... in my own kitchen.
'I didn't realize you enjoyed pizza so much... I'll talk to Alice about putting it on the wedding menu- oh dear...' Edward's voice was dark, so I looked up warily. But his face was very amused, like he was watching a television show. His eyes were on the fridge directly behind me, but they were unfocused.
'Is... something wrong?' I asked, knowing what he was listening to, my pizza lay forgotten on my plate.
'Esme...' Edward muttered quietly, now chuckling to himself.
'Oh.' I smiled too, but I was worried for Emmett and Jasper... well, I was worried for Jasper. 'You don't think we were too... harsh... do you?'
'Harsh? No, I believe we were giving my brothers a taste of their own medicine.' Edward smiled reassuringly at me, taking my hand and nodding his head at the pizza in front of me. I ignored him.
'Exactly. Harsh!' I sighed, poor Jasper...
'Esme won't hurt them! Perminanley...' Edward promised, but I had my doubts.
'Well, looks like we'll be sleeping here tonight!' I smiled, changing the subject and picking up my pizza.
'If it's not too much trouble, I doubt my room will be inhabitable, at least for a few days.' Edward chucked again, but I had the feeling he was laughing at something far away.
'I suppose you'll just have to share my bed...' I sighed, acting solemn.
'Again, if it's not too much trouble.' Edward laughed, pushing my pizza plate further towards me.
'No trouble at all.' I smiled, taking another bite of pizza, Edward still holding my hand.
Who did I feel sorry for again?
'You're a dead man, Mason. Little tip, don't come home anytime soon... Emmett is set for revenge. He's become intoxicated by his plans, I may fear for you... but I plan to join him...' Jasper's voice of warning ran through my head, and I couldn't hold off my laughter. Though I knew my brother couldn't hear my response, I uttered four unnecessarily quiet words.
'Bring it on, Whitlock.'
The end!
I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Tell me what you think!
