After Care

Sunlight gently laying across his face woke Rumplestiltskin from his sleep. At first he thought it must be a dream, but other sensations began to filter through. He was warm, that was his first real clue. The cellar he had spent most of a year in, was always cold, and damp. Instead he was warm, wrapped in softness, and not alone. Rumplestiltskin opened his eyes praying he had not finally gone completely and utterly mad, or alternatively, if he had, that he never came back to sanity. He was in his own familiar bedroom, in Storybrooke, Maine. Bits and pieces were coming back to him slowly. Belle had brought him home after the defeat of the witch.

Now she was there, wrapped around him. Actually the two of them were twined around one another like creeping vines on a trellis, arms and legs wrapped together as if they were trying to merge into one person. Considering the number of times they had been separated, at this moment, it didn't seem like a bad idea. Belle had one hand on his chest, slipped between the buttons of his silk pajama top, resting comfortingly against his heart. "Morning," the sweet voice of his True Love whispered from somewhere near his shoulder. He swept back her hair gently and smiled down at her. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, stretching just a little, but making no move to separate herself from him. If anything, she tightened her arm around him.

"Actually, I did. Bit surprised about that, really. Slept like the dead," Rumplestiltskin said, before noting her grimace. "Sorry love, bad choice of words." She relaxed. They had both expected nightmares. He was certain that they would come too. Last night though, he had been exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally. Rumplestiltskin had been more or less indifferent to sleep once he had taken on the curse, needing it less than he had as a moral man. Besides, it allowed him to avoid the nightmares that were waiting for him. Rather, he slept when he absolutely had to, and beyond that, he ignored it. While he had been in the Witch's control, he had avoided sleep, at first because his mind was shattered, sheltering the remains of his son, and later to avoid...well everything, the nightmares, the possibility of what he would wake to. "I'm fine Belle, more than fine," he said, leaning down to press his lips gently to hers. It felt good to kiss her, to touch her after a year without her, after all they had been through, he wanted nothing more than this moment.

"Good, I'm glad," she said when he finally drew back. Her hand had slipped from inside his shirt to wrap around his neck and hold him even closer to her.

Too close, he thought briefly as his body reminded him of other things about being in bed with Belle. Not that she had ever much minded but after everything that had happened, he wasn't certain exactly how things were. Then she stretched up to him.

"I have plans for you today, you know," she whispered in his ear, as she leaned against her head against his throat, kissing him gently.

Beneath her, Rumplestiltskin shuddered just a little. There was something about the words, plans, the idea of anyone planning anything made him a little nervous. For a year he had been out of his own control, every move, every step controlled by that witch. She had his dagger and she had used it to do things, monstrous things, things that he never wanted to think about again, certainly not with Belle in his arms.

Belle looked at him, and he was reminded once again of how much this woman meant to him. She would always fight for him, for them, he knew that. Even as battered and broken as he felt now, her love was what he clung to. "What is it? Rumple?" she asked, looking in his eyes.

"I...I don't..." he paused. He wasn't very good at expressing his feelings, he never had been. At his age, it was doubtful he ever would be, but he could try. "I've never been very good at..."

"Expressing your feelings, I know that. What do you need, love?"

There it was, an offer. Belle knew him so well, so much better than anyone ever had. "It seems like for so long, I could do nothing without..." He looked at her, trying to find the right words. "I had no control of what I did, I..." There was a lot he wanted to say, but he wasn't ready. How could he explain the horror of being forced to threaten the one he loved?

"You are in control now, though," she said. Slowly she slipped her hand from where it had been resting around his neck and rolled on to her back. "So take it."

"Belle..." he said his voice overflowing with too many emotions to name.

"Nothing has changed between us," Belle reassured him, but her hands were by her sides, the next move would have to be his. "I hold nothing against you."

"I tried to kill you, I threatened you...I..."

"No, you didn't. Zelena did. You were the weapon she tried to wield, and even then you managed to resist long enough for me to escape. I know that cost you, even if you never tell me. Now, you are free, and we are together."

"Belle," he groaned, and then he was on her, rolling her over beneath him, his mouth meeting hers with all the passion, all the love that he could manage. The taste of her overwhelmed him. It felt like forever since he had kissed her even though he knew consciously that it had only been last night, but before that...so long. The last woman he had kissed...the thought stunned him and he stopped. He wouldn't think about it, couldn't think about it with Belle in his arms.

"Rumple, what is it?" she whispered, looking up into his eyes.

"Belle, there are things that I did when the Witch had me."

"I have already told you, I don't hold anything you did against you. You aren't responsible for any of that, any of what she did, she had you completely under her control. Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him, though considering their positions, it wasn't what she was expecting. But she had no idea what horrors that woman had put him through.

"I...I tried to seduce her," he admitted. It had occurred to him (at the time actually) that he had never sunk so low before. Of course, it wasn't as if there was a line waiting to bed him, in either world. Only those who were desperate, or craved the novelty. But Zelena had always been different, she wanted something from him, some kind of cross between a father figure and a lover and he had never wanted to fill either role with her. It also occurred to him that he could have avoided ever telling Belle. Except that he promised her honesty, except that if the nightmares came back (and he had already had nightmares about Zelena and what could have happened) he needed her to understand.

"Oh," Belle responded, clearly unsure how to respond to that.

"I was trying to get my dagger from her, it wasn't...I'm not proud of myself. It's not something that I wanted to do."

"Did she want, I suppose I never thought of her wanting you that way, not the way..." Belle shuddered. The thought of the control the dagger had over him, plus the sheer pleasure the witch had shown in controlling him made her wonder exactly what she had done. Certainly she must have made her interest clear, Rumplestiltskin wasn't one to consider that unless he had an idea that it would be welcome.

"Zelena could control me completely through my dagger," he explained, "But I could fight it...somewhat. It hurt, but that was of no consequence. Instead, she learned she had to watch her every word. So she decided to get me to join her willingly. She never understood our love. I'm not certain she ever understood True Love or it's power. So she planned a lovely little candle light dinner, told me that she could bring back Bae if I would just join with her," the sarcasm and pain in his voice was almost to much for Belle, she could see what it must have meant to have that woman offering to bring back what he had fought so hard for. "I saw my chance...I allowed her to think that she was changing my mind. In fact, I might have overplayed my hand in my hurry to get at the dagger. She had it spelled."

"Overplayed your hand?" Belle asked, not sure she wanted the details, but unable to stop herself. It was helping him, she told herself. He needed to talk it out himself, forgive himself.

"I wanted it over with as quickly as possible, and when she plastered herself against me, I could hardly..." he paused, almost blushing.

"Zelena was a beautiful woman," Belle said, neutrally. The thought of the witch that close to her lover, touching him. Belle had never truly understood the desire to kill until Zelena, now she was fairly certain if the witch were alive and anywhere near her, she would tear her apart with her bare hands. What could she have done to him?

"There is no other woman for me, love. Never has been. All I could think of when I was with her was escaping and getting back to you."

"Still..." Belle was angry. She also discovered that she had a jealous streak. She had never thought it before, but the thought of Zelena in control of her love, of her even thinking the sort of thing...She could have ordered Rumple to... Belle blocked those images out as quickly as she could.

"There are some things a man cannot fake, love," he said looking into her eyes and pressing himself close to her, making his meaning clear. That made Belle blush. "And from the day I met you, there is only been one woman I desired, Belle. I hope you aren't angry with me."

"Angry, yes, with you, no. But if she weren't dead I would kill that...woman myself," she spat. "You are a human being, not a toy for her to play with. You did what you thought was necessary. Though I am glad you didn't have to go any further."

"Would never have happened, love. The other reason I rushed things, probably too much. I wasn't certain how long I could stand being near her when all I felt was revulsion. But now, all I want to think about is you. I want to make the memory of that whole horrible incident go away."

"Then we should replace it with something else," she said, urging him to kiss her again. He couldn't resist, leaning forward to kiss her again, focusing his entire being into one kiss. His tongue teased her lips and she opened for him, letting him take control. He explored her mouth slowly, remapping the familiar paths of his love. It felt so familiar, and yet so new. Belle let him continue, giving in completely until she was light headed from lack of oxygen.

Only then did he move on, carefully kissing his way down her throat to that spot where shoulder met neck and kissing her there, nipping into the flesh to taste her, listening to her moan. For a moment he found his memory going back but even as it began, it was lost in the scent and taste of Belle. She was everything to him, she tasted of light and beauty, not bitterness and hatred. Focusing on what was right before him, he concentrated on Belle, on his True Love. He could feel the magic of it wrapping around them, healing him from the inside out. He looked up into her beautiful blue eyes and he knew. "More, I need more," he growled, nibbling his way down.

"Then have more," Belle said tugging his hair until he moved away just a little. "Have all of me." The words sunk into the dark corners and crevices of his soul, brining light to all the places the darkness had crept in while he was under the Witch's control. He was free again, and in the arms of his True Love and he would allow nothing to ever come between them again. He pulled away just enough to allow his hands to tug at the bottom on the nightgown.

Belle shifted to allow him to pull it over her head. He gasped as she was revealed to him in the early morning light. Beautiful. He remembered that. Dreams of her had kept him at least partially sane during his captivity, or as sane as he had allowed himself to be after what had happened to Bae. Bae...he couldn't think about that, not now. That would be for later, right now he needed this, he needed Belle. It was an effort but he pushed all those thoughts away and concentrated on her, his second chance, his Belle.

He stroked the side of her face, forcing himself to concentrate on her eyes. Slowly he lowered his gaze, taking in her entire face, the curly hair falling in waves around her shoulders where she failed to pin it up last night. Slowly Rumplestiltskin ran his hand through her hair. It was like a damn breaking, he couldn't get enough of touching her. He rubbed his face against her jaw, and set out to map her skin with hands and mouth, needing to touch and kiss every part of her in order to truly believe he had made it to this point.

Belle lay back against the pillows and shivered as he rubbed his chin against her jaw, the lightest touch of stubble rasping over the skin. She couldn't help herself as a soft sound of need escaped as she tried to hide it. But he smiled up at her. "Don't...I want to hear you, I need to hear you. It grounds me," he said, before kissing her again. This time when he released her, she didn't bother. She gave voice to all those little sounds that were building up inside her. He returned to his task, stroking his way back down her body, pressing little kisses to the arch of her ribs, the curve of her hips, even briefly teasing her belly button with his tongue, and feeling the weight on his soul lighten as she giggled.

Moving lower, Rumplestiltskin tugged gently on the plain cotton knickers she had slipped on last night after the shower and she moved, eager to help him with as he removed them. "Aren't you overdressed?" she asked, starting to raise herself but he eased her back down.

"Not yet, love," he said. "Impatient?"

"For you, always," she told him honestly. It was true, she had never been anything less than eager to pursue their pleasures from the moment they had first begun this new journey as lovers. But he wasn't ready, not yet. He needed this, to reconnect with her, to remind himself that all the nightmares, the entire past year was behind them. He needed to reassure himself that this was real and not just another dream conjured up by his fractured mind to make another moment of his enslavement bearable.

He bent low, kissing her lips once more before moving back down, placing a tender kiss on the curls at the top of her sex. Belle shifted just a little, parting her legs in invitation. It was an invitation he had ever intention of taking her up on...later. Instead he began to kiss and caress his way down the inside of her thigh, pausing a moment to nip tenderly at the flesh there before sucking it gently into his mouth. He left a small mark there, where no one but him would see, just a note of possession before he continued down, nibbling carefully at the delicate skin inside her knee. He rubbed his face, the early bristles on his chin tickling just a little against her calf. He felt like a cat, needing to rub every part of himself against every part of her, to remember that he was here with the woman he loved.

Before he got any more distracted, he turned his attention back, kissing her instep and carefully rubbing the skin of her delicate feet. Belle was already gasping beneath his touch, soft sounds of pleasure that warmed him from within but it wasn't enough. He tugged gently, urging her to turn over so he could repeat the process, working his way up her beck, pausing to nip gently at the curve of her buttock, running his chin over the soft skin of her back.

"Rumple..."she gasped in pleasure, her voice rich with desire.

"Not enough, " he murmured under his breath more to himself than her. It could never be enough to wipe away the memories, the fear and the shame. He would tell her, eventually, confess to everything, every game she had played with him, him with her. Seduction had never been his weapon, not really and it certainly hadn't been the first one he tried. For all that he became he was still a spinner from the Frontlands, with a peasant's sense of propriety and morality, at least when it came to sex. For all that Milah had betrayed their marriage, he had never done the same, not that anyone wanted him. But for his freedom he had been willing to do whatever had been necessary. Yet, he had told Belle the worst of it, and she was still beside him.

"Rumple, shhhh...you are thinking too much,". Belle whispered, looking over her shoulder at him. He realised he had lost himself too long in his thoughts. "What is it you need, love?"

He considered for a moment, trying to put his thoughts and his desires to words but they failed him. "Need more," he groaned. "I need more of you love, need to..." He couldn't he didn't know how to tell her, instead he tugged at the pajama top, suddenly seeming to have lost the ability to concentrate.

"Let me help you," she whispered, reaching to undo the buttons, kissing ever exposed section of skin. With her help he managed to rid himself of his night clothes and wrapped his body against her, skin to skin. The sensation was amazing and overwhelming at the same time. He could smell her, roses and sweetness coupled with her arousal, to most precious scent in his world, he realised because it was all Belle, all his. "Better?" She whispered, nibbling gently at his throat.

"Gods, yes, Belle, I need you, all of you." She shifted against him, her thigh rubbing across his erection. The pleasure went through him like a lightning strike, and he knew what he had to do. He rolled her easily back against the pillows, lips seeking hers with renewed hunger. The magic of the kiss burned through him in a way it never had before, and he couldn't stop himself from shaking at the raw power of it even stronger than before. Pulling back, Rumplstiltskin took in Belle's eyes glowing with love and desire and something a wee bit feral and he couldn't hold on a moment longer. He fell on her like a starving man. Where before he had simply explored, reacquainting himself with his lover's body, now he was caught up in the claws of need. He bit at her neck, unable or unwilling to stop himself as he watched the mark bloom and darken against her creamy skin, this one where everyone could see. She gasped in pleasure, arching her body up to meet his, but he wasn't ready for that, not yet.

He kissed his way down again, this time with intent,pausing to kiss her breasts, teasing her already hardened nipples while drinking in her sweet, breathy gasps, like the richest of music. As he kissed his way lower he urged her to open for him, stroking her thighs until he could rest his head between them. He knew so very well what she liked, and he glanced up at her with a wicked grin before planting a tender kiss on her thigh. She was so very ready, wet and open and the his heart seemed to skip a beat. He had done this, he thought, this beautiful woman was coming undone and all for want of him. He breathed gently over her hot, slick flesh and heard her soft moan before he lost control. The taste of her exploded on his tongue and while it was not the first time, it seemed new again. An entire year he had been without her, and he wanted to drown in the sensations.

For a moment, or an hour, Rumplestiltskin lost himself to her. After a year of pain and torture and darkness, he was surrounded, all his senses filled with one thing, Belle. Only her sweet cries as he sucked gently on the clit brought him back to himself, feeling her body spasm as she tumbled over the edge. Gently his long fingers curling inside her to draw it out even further. He looked up, drawn to see her face as he stroked her down from her pleasure, still licking the taste of her from his lips.

"Rumple..."she gasped out, reaching for him, tugging at his hair in a way that she knew drove him mad. "Please, I need you." He opened his mouth and willed some quip to his lips but nothing came, save a soft groan. He had been successfully ignoring the insistent calls of his own body while he pleased her, reacquainting each and ever sense with the woman he loved. Only now did he realise how desperate his own need was, and he wasn't certain he would last, but Belle tugged again and he followed.

"Belle, I'm not..."

"Need you inside of me," she whispered. "Please." That was all it took, his control snapped like a poorly spun thread as he pulled her close and buried himself inside her in one long stroke. The feel of her closing around him, the sweet cry from her lips and he was lost to the pleasure. It seemed another world, another lifetime since he had been with her. At times when he had been locked in his cage, he believed that it was all a dream, Belle, loving her, it was too perfect. After all he had done in his long life, Rumplestiltskin had trouble believing that he could really deserve this, any of this. Instead, he held himself inside her, not ready to move yet, just reveling in the moment. Then Belle wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down and nipped his throat and he was moving, rocking in and out of her, while she whispered her love in his ear. He wasn't certain how he managed to hold back, he needed her, so badly, reminding himself that this was Belle, that he was free and that she loved him was almost more than he could manage and somewhere along the line, tears began to flow even as they both cried out their pleasure and love together. .

Time seemed to stand still, or possibly he blacked out for a moment, but Rumplestiltskin came to himself collapsed on top of Belle. His beautiful love was still wrapped around him, crooning soft words of love into his ear while her hands ran through his hair. He wanted to be ashamed of his tears, of breaking down during one of the most painfully beautiful moments of his long and admittedly lonely life, but he couldn't find the strength. Instead he settled for trying to roll off of her, afraid that his weight would be too much for her.

"Stay," Belle whispered, softly, wrapping herself even more tightly around him, if that was even possible. It was almost as if she were trying to merge them into one, or perhaps it was only trying to prevent them from being separated again. Rumplestiltskin knew one thing, he wasn't going to allow that to happen, not ever again. "I love you," she whispered. "I'm here, and I am not going anywhere, not now, not ever."

For now, it was all he needed.