Chapter 1

The subtle heat from his body emitted warmly around me. I relished the silence between us - the landscape dark from the starless night painted far into the endless horizon. My eyelids slowly drifted close, but I forced myself to keep awake, knowing full well if I slept, he might disappear. My own hair tickled my cheek lightly as a soft breeze swept between us. I kept my sight to the ground, trying desperately not to cry, afraid one of my tears would fall on his arm. If he caught me crying, he'd know too much of me, and such a thing scared me. For as long as I am able, I will keep my feelings from him safe within me where such precious emotions could never be harmed.

He always was a quiet person, but he was particularly silent this night. Always, I wondered what was going through that mind of his. I knew not to ask, for he would only respond with vague and dismissive one word answers, and those curt responses always seemed to sting me more than his silence. Complex, is the only word to describe him. No matter how many years I've known him, I will never be able to fully figure him out. Maybe we are not so different from each other.

"Please, just stay with me for now," I whispered so softly, I was unsure if he had even heard my plea.

Silence. Always silence from his end with his infuriating incapability of communicating. He shifted slightly as my head rested on his tense shoulder. I breathed in the air around me and caught a trace of his unique, but familiar scent. How many times had my brain been triggered by the same switch? I shivered slightly as the passing minutes transcended the dawn into a chilly night. If I squinted hard enough, I could make out the vague glow of stars - the were hiding away at the moment and I wryly thought to myself how feelings could do the same.

"Are you cold?" his low-toned voice suddenly cut through the silence. Finally, he does speak after all.

"Not really. I'm okay," I assured him, and looked up at his shadowy features covered by the blanket of night. He looked at me with his sincere eyes and I could have sworn there were tears reflected in them, but he turned away too soon for me to be entirely sure. His usually sunflower-colored hair was dulled into a fascinating green by the shade of darkness - making his trademark spikes resemble a spindly cactus. I smiled slightly at the sight and a look of puzzlement on his face followed. He began to grow increasingly self-conscious with his tense lips slowly forming into an unsure frown.

"Hey," I said softly, and placed my palm atop his arm - he was so unbelievably warm. He flinched and looked the other way. "Please, don't shut me out," I begged, trying my hardest not to burst into tears. That was all I could say without giving out what I really wanted to tell him, 'Please, tell me why you always look so sad. I'm here for you.'

I lifted my head off his shoulder and tried to catch a glimpse of his expression, but his head remained turned away from me. I sighed softly and looked down at his hand where it was fiercely clutching onto the edge of the slab we were sitting upon. He had his fingers so tightly encircled around the sharpened edge, slight blood began to seep down the rock.

"Cloud," I said, and touched his hand in an attempt to pry his fingers from their self-inflicting bind.

He released his hand away with his own free will, and placed the bloodied palm upturned on his lap. He was breathing erratically and whispered something tiredly.

"I'm sorry," he said, lowly with his back turned to me. His head drooped down low towards his chest, and I couldn't stand seeing him look so miserable.

I picked up my legs and held them with my chin resting atop my knees. It was always the same. He'd shut down and leave me in the dark, leaving me to sit aside and give him the time and space to wade through the maze of his mind.

The silence between us was no longer comfortable, but tense and unwanted. I couldn't keep it in any longer. A lone tear fell from my eye and broke silently upon the top of my knee. There was no denying my love for him, but he made it so hard with the many walls around him. If I could, I'd smash all the barriers around him and show him the world is not so bad. I questioned if he even loved me in return.

He shifted his body slightly to reach out a hand and placed it gently on top of my knee still wet from my tears. His hand tensed at the sensation of water. Slight shaking of his fingers, signified his guilt in letting me down once again.

"I'm sorry, Tifa," he whispered sincerely, "for not being the hero I promised you I would become."

My breath caught in my throat. It was the most he had said that night, yet I was the one who was now speechless.

His hand reached out to my chin to turn my face towards his. My eyes met his and I saw, for a moment, who he really was - an unsure and broken boy in the body of a grown man. The atmosphere shifted into unknown territory between us, but it had lingered there for many years. A tear streaked down my cheek and the pain in his strikingly blue eyes intensified at the sight.

He moved in, not to kiss me, but to embrace me with his sturdy arms - I didn't expect anything more, and didn't need any more from him. I returned his hug and pressed my face into his shoulder blade, once again inhaling his comforting scent.

"I…," he said.

I waited for him to continue in anticipation.

"I… care for you, Tifa."

I smiled at his words - content in knowing how much it had took for him to even say something so simple.

"I care for you too, Cloud. Very much," I added.

Cloud sighed a breath of relief. The tension in his body dissipated and he continued to hold me silently for minutes, hours, I was not sure. Before we knew it, the sun rose to take us out of our stupor. The light shone and cleared the dark away from around us and for a moment, I nearly thought we would disappear - float away from this spherical rock and into a higher plane where nothing mattered. I was naïve then and thought he would always remain with me. Looking back now, I regret not telling him exactly how much I really do care for him.

The memory of our moment together was still fresh in my mind though it was nearly two years ago since I had last seen him. There appeared to be persistent demons he was still dealing with, and he decided on his own he didn't my help in doing so.

"Tifa," Marlene softly called out.

I snapped out of my daze and looked down at Marlene's quizzical expression. She was tugging at my pant. "There's someone at the door," her small voice pointed out as her eyes directed me to the front of the house.

"Who is it?" I replied.

"I couldn't get a good look since I'm too short to reach the peep-hole," she mumbled disappointedly.

I chuckled lightheartedly and brushed my hand through her hair. "It's okay, Marlene."

"I did take a quick peek through the window though, but all I saw was a man with blonde hair."

Blond hair? I thought to myself. No, it couldn't be. My heart stopped and for a moment, I felt as if I was floating into another time - into the past.

"Tifa?" Marlene's small voice called out to me again. "Is something wrong? Does your tummy hurt?" She was staring intently at the anxious expression on my face, her own reflecting worry.

I quickly put on a carefree smile and said, "Come on, let's see who it is together."

Marlene eagerly nodded and returned my smile as we walked towards the door. I never felt my heart beat so fast against my chest - it was physically hurting me and incapacitating air from reaching into my lungs. Even after two years, I never lost hope in believing he may show up at my front door. I was foolish in believing in such a fruitless fantasy, but impossible things had happened before. Why not now?

My hand was trembling when I reached for the door although my smile remained unfaltering, but deep down, I was praying feverishly for just one more chance to see him again, at least for a moment.