Josh was kissing Sam's neck. He was leaving love bites up and down Sam's neck and then crushing his lips to Sam's. Sam couldn't help it – he had to moan Josh's name between kisses. Which of course, only encouraged Josh even more. Josh's body suddenly came crashing down on Sam's with a moan escaping Josh's lungs.
I can't believe this is happening … is this really happening? Sam was in disbelief but he couldn't seem to hold his attention to anything outside of Josh running his hands up and down Sam's body.
"Sam," he moaned. "Sam, why didn't we do this years ago?" Josh groaned and rolled them over. "Sam." He said again as Sam put kisses down his neck.
"SAM!" Josh's voice was loud and smashed through Sam's ears as his eyes flew open. The noise was so startling, especially compared to his dream that Sam flew over the other side of the bed to get to the phone – knocking a lamp over in the process and just about breaking his back to do so.
Oh right. It's not happening but I live in the real world and Josh and I live in my dreams … literally.
"It's alright, it's alright, hang on!" he called into the phone as he fumbled for it in the dark. "No problem … hi - sorry." He said into Josh's ear.
"No, I'm sorry, buddy. I know you're supposed to be sleeping today." Sam couldn't help but melt a little – not only at the sound of Josh's voice but at the term of endearment. Sam would prefer sweetheart or even just babe but if he had to accept 'buddy' he was going to melt at the sound of it.
Bringing himself out of a Josh-induced haze Sam returned to the conversation.
"No, it's no problem," Sam said, wanting to take away any guilt Josh might have over waking him up. "What's going on?"
"I'm with Toby and Donna and we are stranded somewhere in Indiana." Josh explained as Sam crawled down the bed to sit on the floor and listen to the man he secretly loved.
"You got left behind by the motorcade?" Sam sounded casual, inside he was worried. He calmed himself by thinking that if anyone could get home – it was his Josh.
No, not my Josh – just Josh. Just everyone's Josh. Except Donna – he can't be Donna's Josh because then there is no chance he'll ever be my Josh. Well, there isn't really a chance now.
Sam tried to stop the internal babbling and focus on the real Joshua Lyman.
"Yeah … and then we ran out of gas and then there was a time-zone foul up and we were waylaid by some mean school-girls. Alpha girls – you know what I'm saying?"
Yes – see Josh? Women are mean. Men are much nicer. I'm much nicer. Even to himself, Sam sounded like a love-struck teenager trying to convince the superstar popular kid to go on a date with him. Of course, it was all in his head but Sam still thought he was pathetic.
On the other end of the line, Sam can hear Donna say "Josh," in the way she does and Sam's jealously rears its head for a second. Josh responds defensively and Sam jumps in to stop his annoyance at the thought of the two of them out there … together.
"So what are you doing now?" Sam asks.
"We're getting a lift to the Connersville Metro which is gonna take us to Indianapolis where we're gonna get a flight to either…" Sam zones out for a moment as Josh lists places and he sighs thinking about how much he wishes he could comfort Josh right now.
Sam would hold him and tell him it was fine. In a perfect world, Josh wouldn't freak out if Sam ran his fingers through Josh's hair – he'd like it and sink into Sam's arms. Instead, all Sam can do is offer to help.
"Listen, if you wanna give me your call sheets, I can farm out a few memos for you?"
"I actually need you to do more than that, Sam," Josh said.
Sam wasn't paying that much attention – his attention tended to shift whenever Josh said his name. It shifted back to his dreams where Josh said his name a lot. Sam's attention snapped back to Josh as the next sentence comprehended.
"I need you to staff the President – he's got one of those days." Josh said in that tone of voice Josh reserves for when he's asking for something big.
"I don't know what it is you do in there." The truth – Sam had no idea half of what Josh's job was. It was part of what made him so mysterious and attractive.
"Sure you do," Josh said casually. "Anything ceremonial, security related or personal, you leave the room. As it gets later in the day…" the more Josh spoke, the more nervous Sam was getting. "He's gonna start to talk to you, you're gonna tell him how the meeting he just had with his Council of Economic Advisers relates to the meeting he had with the Agricultural Secretary relates to his Intelligence Briefing relates to the environment relates to jobs relates to education relates to the campaign…" at this rate, Sam was about to pass out but he knew, he just knew, there was no way in hell he could ever saw no to Josh. "You're his wide angle lens." Josh finished.
Sam decides to try to get out of this by pointing out the obvious.
"There are any number of areas where I can't give him expert advice."
It doesn't work. It's Joshua Lyman, it was never going to work.
"Welcome to the club, partner. We got jackets."
Sam laughs a little and closes his eyes at the tone of Josh's voice.
Can't I just stay on the phone and talk to you?
"Alright," his voice is strained because this whole conversation is just one giant kick up the butt reminder that he'll do anything Josh asks him to do. That he'll go running whenever Josh calls because he's so head over heels in love with him it's physically painful to not give him whatever he wants. "I'm not gonna let you down," Sam adds, hedging dangerously close to finishing this conversation with a love confession – he reels himself in just in time.
"You never do." Josh says and Sam's whole body almost falls right down in a heap there. A pile of Josh-loving Sam. Sam hangs up before he can say anything he'll regret.
"Get dressed. Now." He tells himself.
Sam knows if he doesn't – he'll spend the rest of the day on the floor, replaying the conversation in his head, hearing Josh's voice tell him he never lets him down over and over and over …
Sam gets up.
